Do your kids pay rent?

[Worfiedoodles]

The standard the government suggests is that you should pay not more than 30% of your income for housing. Now, if that seems high based on the actual income of your daughters, I would still have them pay a percentage -- that keeps it fair since one is in school and one is working, and it's also a reflection of the real world. At 26, paying $50 a month does not seem very realistic to me. I'd make it a real number, and I would expect them to be responsible for their own laundry.

It doesn't really matter if you save their rent or use it, the point is that no 26 year old person usually has their housing provided free of charge, unless it is part of their employment.

Maria

 

[pearlieq]

While you're absolutely right, we all understand perfectly that these things are easier said than done. If her parents believe strongly in their side of the argument, it's hard for her to be respectful to them. maintain a good relationship with them, AND do what she wants.

Yes, it's definitley tough to defy your parents and then stand on your own two feet for the consequences--MUCH easier said than done, as you say.

Still, not all parents are perfectly well adjusted. For a great deal of people who have parents that have issues of some kind, or even just a bit of myopia when it comes to kids separating and being independent, it's eventually going to be necessary to go against the parents wishes in order to be come an independent adult.

No one, myself included, is suggesting that she should shack up with the first person who asks or ignore good advice.

If her parents believe she shouldn't move out because her boyfriend is bad news, she is terrible with money, or she is directionless and partying too much, then yes, I REALLY hope she finds a way to listen.

But if her parents' objections are simply that they don't believe in cohabitation, think she would be wasting money on rent, believe that moving out before marriage simply "isn't done" for women, or just that they think they are still in control of her life and that she should mind them, those are all opinions they shouldn't be imposing on her as a fully grown woman. She has the choice of whether she allows it to continue.

In any event, there is no "letting" her move out at her age and that's what I find most objectionable and immature about her post.

 

[J3nn78]

I think they should be paying their way. They are not learning a thing about life in the real world if they continue to have a free ride and a "maid"

We live with my parents again, but we pay our share of all the bills. We moved back in to help them and us. Saves us money and saved them from being forced to sell their house. We do our own laundry on a set schedule. We share the grocery shopping and the cooking.

 

[timzagain]

We have twin 26yr old. girls who have moved back home since graduating college. One is a full time teacher and gets paid pretty well. The other is finishing her masters at a local University and works full time in the school system aiding Special Needs students but makes a meager wage. It gives her the flexibility to takes her classes. I'm a sahm so I shop for & cook all meals, wash/iron everyones clothes, clean etc. They pay for anything related to their car, and their personal bills. They of course buy their own clothes and personal items. My question is, do your kids pay rent? What other things do your older kids who live home do? My DH says I should stop doing their laundry, but if I didn't the washer/dryer would be going 24/7 and the water bill would be $$$. I'm feeling like the maid, and frankly they are not very appreciative (but that's another dilema). Whew.....felt good to vent a little

We've got 4 "children" - one girl of 12, two girls of nearly 18, and one young man of nearly 20. I am a SAHM too, and while I shoulder most of the responsibility of getting housework done, I REFUSE to do it all. The older ones do their own laundry and ironing (youngest does some ironing - don't trust her with the laundry yet!). They are expected to help with the cleaning and cooking too. Why? Our goal as parents is to ensure that our children are independent, competent, responsible adults. They have to learn to take care of themselves, and to function as a contributing member of the community in which they live.

We will support our children until they complete college. Our eldest has elected NOT to pursue further education. He works full time, and he pays us a token rent! What he pays is not nearly enough to cover his costs (especially food!) - it is more of a lesson in responsibility than anything else. He is not going to live at home rent free, eat us out of house and home while he blows his paycheck on wine, women and song. He has to realize that life is not a free ride and that he is expected to work and pay his way in life because that's how the real world works.

If any of our children found themselves in a bind, e.g. unemployment, financial difficulties, we would obviously help them. But they'd have to understand that the arrangement would have to be reciprocal. You don't have any money? Well, contribute what you do have - that is, time and energy!

Sorry to say this, but if your 26 year old daughters are treating you like the maid, it's because you've allowed them to. They are adults and they need to get involved in the smooth running of the household in which they live. That includes a financial contribution as well as some actual labour like doing laundry etc.