Do your kids go to all the classmate birthday parties that they're invited to?

[paigevz]

When my kids first started school it seemed the invitations were sent to all in the class. As the kids got older the invites are now sent to those they are friends with. They love parties and attend all we are around for.

True for us as well, except now as DS gets even older, all the GIRLS seem to invite him. He always seems to be the only boy there. You'd think that would bother him, but there's almost always brothers, and he seems to enjoy all parties...........he even likes adult parties and baby showers!

He goes to all invites if we are going to be in town.

Seems as if when he was younger, no one went to the parties...........no matter if it was him or other kids from his class, there'd only be 2 or 3 kids show, even when the whole class was invited, so we always felt kind of like we needed to go. He stopped inviting more than a couple of friends at about age 7...........now just wants his two or three best friends to go somewhere with him and have an overnight, and if one can't go, he just invites another.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

Yes. My son has attended every birthday party he's been invited to this year (even just classmates). We've only ever had to decline 2 or 3 because of previous engagements. We invited his whole class to his party too. Almost everyone came. I would rearrange my schedule to send my son to a party if I needed to. Party invites are at the top of our priority list. I would hate it if kids didn't come to our birthday parties just because they've had enough. That said, my son is in Pre-K with only 14 kids in his class. I'm not sure how I'll feel when he has 20+ kids in his class.

I agree with everything in this post. I also think "busy" can be a pretty relative term. I once had a FRIEND (not just a mom of a casual classmate) tell me they couldn't come to DS's party on a Sunday because they are busy on Saturdays with sports and that's their day to relax and do housework. I found that incredibly rude. Not to mention, I'd never not take my kid to a party because I had laundry to to. If we can fit it in, they'll go.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

I always let my kids decide whether they wanted to go to the parties. It wasn't up to me. Most times they did but there were times when they would rather not so it was fine with me.

What would be their reason for not wanting to go? We've only had that come up once, and dd didn't have a good reason, so we talked about how she would feel if someone didn't come to her party for no reason, and how she would feel. She did go to that party, and did have a good time. (She didn't want to go because she was the only girl invited.)

 

[MrsPete]

Some schools require that ALL the kids in the class are invited or NONE of the kids in the class are invited. It's to avoid hurt feelings.

If this trend bothers you, don't worry -- it will only last a few years. Parents tend to pop for "big parties" when their kids are in K, 1st, and 2nd grades. By 3rd grade the parents seem to be burned out on big parties, and they start doing the "you can invite two friends for a sleepover" type thing. By that point the kids are old enough to have chosen a couple good friends, and they call them on the phone; thus, they bypass the "whole class" concept.

Also, the "big party" thing tends to be stronger with first children. The parents are excited about being able to throw these great fetes for their offspring. By the time the second or third child rolls around, the parties are more reasonable.

 

[DaisyD]

What would be their reason for not wanting to go? We've only had that come up once, and dd didn't have a good reason, so we talked about how she would feel if someone didn't come to her party for no reason, and how she would feel. She did go to that party, and did have a good time. (She didn't want to go because she was the only girl invited.)

DD didn't like a girl that invited her. She said the girl was mean to her and did not want to go to her party. I said fine. Turns out a lot of kids felt the same way and didn't go to the party.

 

[mom2grace]

As long as we have nothing else going on she goes to all that she is invited to. She not only gets invited to the ones form school but also all the kids from girl scouts parties, a few kids from karate and then kids she still is in touch with and plays with from preschool...so we go to many parties a year! I recently cut down on the gifts though, I was spending 20.00 a gift but I try to keep it under 15.00 now. For her party she no longer invites all the kids in her class...I have all their addresses so I mail out to the ones she wants to invite. I can't afford to invite the whole class, girl scout troop, outside friends and kids from karate. PLUS I can't handle the amount of gifts that she gets from them! Her birthday is in Nov and Christmas is soon after that! This past year she picked 5 toys to donate to a toy drive we volunteer for and I am hoping this year it will be double that she donates. I tried to get her to throw a party and have the invite say that she is collecting toys to donate and not to buy her any but she is 6 so she really isn't going for that yet..hopefully in the next year or so.

For DD's 4th birthday, I stated on the invites that we were collecting gently used books and cd's for her preschool class (school and other friends were invited). We got a great response and the teachers loved it! And I loved not having a ton of new toys to create more chaos!

For her 5th Birthday, we are taking her to WDW for the first time, in 2 DAYS!

But, she has never been to WDW and she wanted a birthday party! So, I took her and her 3 best friends (2 girls, 1 boy) to Chuck E Cheese after school last week. They brought her gifts, but they are her "best friends".

Next year, I will probably go back to the donation for her school again. My kids are the only grandkids for my parents, and my parents are divorced, so they get four times as much as they need!!

 

[Stacerita]

I agree with everything in this post. I also think "busy" can be a pretty relative term. I once had a FRIEND (not just a mom of a casual classmate) tell me they couldn't come to DS's party on a Sunday because they are busy on Saturdays with sports and that's their day to relax and do housework. I found that incredibly rude. Not to mention, I'd never not take my kid to a party because I had laundry to to. If we can fit it in, they'll go.

I can relate to the busy with sports on saturday thing. Sometimes the sweetpea will have a double header that will keep us at the field from 8 till 4. Not often, but it does happen. So when sunday comes around, after going to church, that may be the only time to do laundry. Especially after going to practice for both baseball and softball (sweetpea plays for two leagues), and taking care of girl scout commitments, not to mention bible study. Im a single mom so there aren't that many options for when to get things done. Work, school, church and sports come first. And so sunday is generally the only day left to do things and rest.

Yes, "busy" can be relative, but if the person says they are busy, then I would think that they were. And I dont think its rude to decline an invitation. For whatever reason it is. I think most parents would try to make the party if they can, but sometimes you have to decline. Even if it is just to rest.

 

[kimkarli]

DD6 goes to most that she is invited to, but not all. If I do not know the child at all, we don't. Like if they are not friends, but simply in the same class. I do however understand inviting everyone. In her school you cannot invite one child to a party unless you invite the whole class. The only exception is if only the boys or only the girls are invited. But even in that case it must be all the boys, or all the girls in the class. Hence, if you want anyone to come to the party, you must invite everyone. Which is why, we don't go to some, because they may not be friends with my daughter, but had to invite the entire class. In a nutshell we go to the partys (most) of the children whom my daughter is actually friends with!!!!

 

[PaulaSue]

Sorry, I am another who doesn't do much with others on Sundays, when Dh is home. It has to be a Very good friend of the girls for them to miss out on seeing Dh. He only has 2 days off a month so that is our family day. I don't do wash or any house stuff unless I need his help to fix something, we just do stuff with the girls.

 

[golfgal]

Usually yes unless we have something else going on that they can't miss. Our kids are in a Catholic school and have had the same classmates since preschool though. They may not play with all the kids outside of school but they are friends with all of them in school. As the kids have gotten older, the number of parties have dropped significantly though. Most parents are tired of having parties and have gone to having a couple friends over for the night.

 

[RadioNate]

unless we have something that can't be missed or rescheduled we go. It is a great way for DS to build friendships and for me to meet other moms.

DS is turning 5 next week and we invited the entire class. It was just easier that way. I expect about 10 kids which is about 40%. That also eliminates hurt feelings. Believe me, they talk about the parties in class and I've seen a lot of hurt feeling. I know my DS is still hurt that he wasn't invited to one girl's party even though she only invited the girls for a princess/makeup party.

At his age all the kids talk about their parties so it is just best (IMO) to invite them all. It has nothing to do with wanting gifts or wanting to have a big fancy gathering. He wanted a friend party and I didn't want to leave anyone out.

 

[mommyintn]

We go to as many as we can. At the beginning of the year there were about 1/2 his class having parties and 3 of them were the same weekend so at that point he had to choose. He liked all the kids but choose to go to the one he was closest too. Another he didn't go to because it was at the ice rink and he's terrified of ice skating and didn't want to go. Since his birthday is in the summer we'll be inviting all the boys from his class and a few of the girls and then friends from church. Even if we could go to all of them I doubt we would since it can get pretty expensive to buy gifts.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Yes, my kids go to all the parties they're invited to. The only reason they wouldn't go is if we already had something scheduled. It's a great way to meet other kids and families.

 

[texasthree]

My sons preschool wont put the invitations in the childrens cubbys unless everyone is invited. Perhaps your childs school has a similar policy? We only go the partys of the children my son plays with. My DH works a lot so we try and keep the weekends for family time.

 

[pixiemomma]

I'd say they attend about 85% of the parties they are invited too. I will not change prior plans so they can attend one.

 

[Papa Deuce]

Heck no! And I have to laugh, they were invited to attend a party 25 miles from my home from a child at their daycare who had been there about 8 weeks. Nice gesture from the parent I guess, but I am sure she did not get many positive responses.

 

[mickeyboat]

The girls go to all the ones they are invited to, unless we have a previous commitment. They have a blast, and it's a great opportunity for them to spend time with their friends outside of school. Plus since they are usually both invited, it gives Mom and Dad a couple of hours to themselves.

This weekend they went to a "Survivor" themed party and had a great time. They wore tribe buffs, had "torches," made bead necklaces, threw wet sponges at the parents, and got their faces painted. I saw the video of the relay race where they had to run through tubes, through the sprinkler, then dig for treasure in the sand box. I think I would have had a great time at that party!

We limit gifts to $10-15.

Denae

 

[Nana Annie]

 

[LynnTH]

My DD4 and my DS7 both go to all the parties they are invited too (unless we are out of town) They both look forward to them so much and get so excited when they get an invite in the mail. I am in the process of planning my DD 5th Birthday Party for June. She is in pre-school and will be having a Princess Themed Party. She is inviting all the girls in her class (10 girls) and a few other friends. There are 2 girls she did not want to invite from her class but I told her that we cannot just invite some of them as the girls will talk about the party at school and the 2 who weren't invited would feel bad. She understood when I explained it to her as she wouldn't want that to happen to her.