Do your kids "act up" when Dad is deployed?

[parmtoo]

Everything was always fine when DH was away when my kids were younger, but once they hit the tweens or teens, look out!
My DS 12, is falling behind at school once again. This happens every time his dad is gone. Anyone elese have this problem?:

 

[TottenKing]

You know, my husband came back from 14 months in Kuwait about a year ago. While he was gone, our kids were about 2, 5, and 8 (and my 17-year-old sister I had custody of) and, like you, I did not experience the kids acting much differently. The kids' grandparents are heavily-involved in their lives, too, so they were still left with a significant portion of their support system.

My husband did have to intervene via telephone with the teenager every once in a while, though, but that was not very different than before.

BUT, I've been there as far as long deployments go. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to "talk" to. I'm a great reader/listener!!

 

[lillasmom]

I'm a Navy wife of two, but I'm also a child and family therapist and I can tell you without hesitation that kids act up when the active duty member is deployed, more now than ever! My practice is very busy with families right now. School suffers, parents suffer, and the kids are just lost! You are not alone!

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

Yes, I had this problem, too. It tapered off after a couple of months, though. But my kids were really stressed for awhile and they were tense. They lost their tempers more easily, their grades suffered and they misbehaved more.

Now DH has come home for R&R and left a few days ago to go back and it's starting again. I'm hoping it will be overshadowed by their excitement for Christmas this time.

I never found anything to help with school except being consistent about when/where they do homework and keeping in touch with their teachers. At the beginning of this year I started homeschooling because school had become too much for us (and there were other issues at the school). It turned out to be what they needed.

 

[rparmfamily]

Yes!!!

My oldest has been having some issues at school (very unlike her!) and also at home. She seems very angry. Daddy just left 2 weeks ago and nearly everyday I have tears from both of them. I know the anger is totally normal, so I just keep trying to talk to her and make sure I take extra time with her and that seems to be helping. It seems like we are finally getting into our deployment "groove" so hopefully things will go ok for a little while at least.