Do your children know how lucky they are to be Middle Class Americans?

[questioner]

I watch my relatives teenage sons and daughters get all bent out of shape if their parents do not buy them some thing at the mall. They cry and moan and act like they will "just die" if they do not have a specific consumer good.

I wonder if the typical American teenager knows what life is like for the average person their age who lives outside of America (or Western Europe). The average person in the world lives in a shanty town and has basically nothing. Is this fact taught in school? Do the kids in America today understand world poverty?

Would a trip to a "developing country" change the typical American teenagers perspective towards wasteful spending? Your thoughts please.

 

[KarenC]

My 20 year old daughter is spending the semester in Montpellier, France. She can't wait to get back to America because she hates feeling guilty about running the shower as long as she does to get the shampoo out of her very curly hair. She's happy that her host family showers every day, so she can too. Water is very expensive there and many of her friends' host families frown on daily bathing as an unnecessary expense. I don't think our kids have to go to a third world country to understand how good we have it--on the other hand I worry about how long we can sustain our wasteful habits.

 

[stinkerbelle]

Am I having de-ja-vu...or have you posted this before questioner?

 

[froglady]

KarenC, at least your daughter HAS a shower. DD spent a semester in India, and had to shampoo with a bucket and ladle.

My children have always been aware that they have more than the majority of people in the world, and really are fairly practical, considering what they're exposed to on a daily basis. DD realizes that her comfy life is coming to an end once she graduates from college; I told her that we would continue to pay for her health/auto/life insurance, plus her phone (so we never have to worry about communication) until she is financially able, but everything else is her problem. If she chooses to live out in the guest house, she'll be paying rent.

DS is still in school, and so far has not bought into the "brand name" game. Of course, he wears a uniform, so that helps.

 

[bajanswife]

I watch my relatives teenage sons and daughters get all bent out of shape if their parents do not buy them some thing at the mall. They cry and moan and act like they will "just die" if they do not have a specific consumer good.

I wonder if the typical American teenager knows what life is like for the average person their age who lives outside of America (or Western Europe). The average person in the world lives in a shanty town and has basically nothing. Is this fact taught in school? Do the kids in America today understand world poverty?

Would a trip to a "developing country" change the typical American teenagers perspective towards wasteful spending? Your thoughts please.

Well, I'm raising kids in a developing country, so they definitely WON'T be typical American teenagers! We don't have the kind of malls you have in America, and most of the time when I take them to the mall or supermarket I don't buy them anything, and they do not expect anything. We have never dealt with a tantrum in a store! It's amazing how smoothly shopping can go if kids aren't expecting anything! I do buy them things when I travel, and as a result they almost knock me over as I walk in the door trying to get at what's in my suitcase!

Even though we are in a developing country and our kids probably have the half the amount of toys that the average American middle class child does, I still feel like we have too much! It's all those birthday parties we've had - we really need to cut down on those, but it's hard when we get invited to so many (we feel we must reciprocate)! I try to give practical gifts, or arts and crafts or books - things that foster creativity.

I look around me here and see the average Barbadian child having half or less than my kids do, and they are perfectly happy! My mother (who was also born and raised here) keeps telling me that when she was a child there were no toys at all, except for balls and a few basic dolls. They made their own fun, and everything that we just throw away as junk now, they used to make toys! They made their own kites, skateboards, stuffed animals, etc.! Very different world, but in some ways a much more relaxed world, where many more skills were fostered than nowadays. Because toys were starting to become much more widely available when I was a child, my parents excitedly bought them for us, and we missed out on learned creativity. Now, I couldn't go the "home-made" route if my life depended on it!

So yes, I think in general the average American spends a lot on unnecessary stuff. Still, if the stuff is inexpensive, and you have the money, who's to say you shouldn't spend it?! It's tough to see how some people who have next to nothing have to live, and at times I wish that there could be a more equitable distribution of wealth so that everyone could at least have the necessities of life. If that means a few less "wants" for some people, so be it. But realistically there is no way to go about this - at least no way that can be agreed upon by everyone.

 

[NMAmy]

You don't need to go outside the U.S. to see people living n poverty. DD grew up near a huge Native American reservation where plenty of people live in poverty with no electricity or running water. I have a friend whose grandmother lives in a hogan on the reservation. We went to visit her and it was a big eye opener for dd.

There are plenty of other areas right here in the U.S. where people are living in shanties and in deep poverty.

 

[TnKrBeLlA012]

We raise our kids. We control what they wear ,eat,spend,waste. If we give them what they want how would they ever realize what it's like to live in a 3rd world country?????? I see parents that give in to their childs every whim. We have created the generation of today. Now we want to say what? I have two teenagers. To keep living in this country I have to pay high taxes, college tution, food, electricity,gas ect..The way jobs are going out of the country I have to pray My husband has a job. I'm not sure How great life really is here?? So to keep living with what we do have it comes at a cost also. I wonder if parents will change their spending habits to teach their kids lessons? I think not!

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

I remind mine ALL the time!!!! I tell her about the things I have seen - shotgun shacks while travelling through the gulf coast. I tell her about the families I went to school with that did not have running water or electricity (this was the 60's in the Northeast). I explain to her how these experiences helped me realize how lucky I was to be LOWER middle class, in the chance I can raise her own awareness!!! I try to raise her to be compassionate overall and to not see people for wht they have - but who they are. We also do not play the "keeping up with the Jonese game" and she is reminded that we can not /will not provide her with everything she sees her friends having! We are trying!

 

[MUFFYCAT]

Would a trip to a "developing country" change the typical American teenagers perspective towards wasteful spending? Your thoughts please.

Where can I sign up my 14 DD? She definetly needs reality check. She recently got all bent out of shape when I wouldn't buy a $300
IPOD for her birthday in this past August.

 

[Planogirl]

I was raised in two countries and I'm teaching DS about both of them. My other country is quite similar to the US though (and we could shower all we wanted!) so it's not helping him to see how fortunate he is relative to some other places.

However, it really has nothing to do with being from a particular country. We have way too many poor people in our own country.

 

[halestrm]

I don't believe the typical American understands how lucky they are. You see adults getting into crazy credit card debt, and spending to keep up with the Jones.

Well, my family is fortunate to be where we are in terms of the country we live in and our income level.

We are very close to Mexico, and we vacation there multiple times during the year. Everytime we go, DD5 helps me organize getting things together for the orphanage down there. We we get there, she plays with a few of the children who live there. She doesn't understand why they can't have a house like her, or toys like her, but she does understand that they are good friends.

I think more than anything, teaching children early about treating what we have properly, money and money management are the keys. We don't sit on the arms of the sofa, don't jump on the bed, don't throw things. Also, she gets up to .75 per week allowance. If she wants something, she saves for it. You should see her at the $1 store. It can take an hour for her to decide which toy to buy.

 

[magicfan]

Would a trip to a "developing country" change the typical American teenagers perspective towards wasteful spending? Your thoughts please.

Yes, seeing is believing. Just as a lot of kids need to visit a real prison. It sure would be an eye opener for a lot of kids.

My mom always gave us the "when we were your age..." lecture, and I do the same. I do not want my kids to grow up expecting to get everything they want. Kids should help work for things. If they are not old enough to work outside the home, they can earn money by doing things around the house, or for relatives and neighbors. Hard work never hurt anyone. Even if we have the money to do something for our kids, we let them know what the value of money is. They are still young, but they understand, and it is my job to keep making them understand. And, to appreciate what they have. And, to remind them of the difference between want and need. There is a huge difference.
To give your child everything they want is doing a disservice to them, IMO.

 

[perdidobay]

During a 4 hour layover in the International terminal in O'Hare airport, I viewed a really neat photo exhibit that showed all the possesions of the average middle class family from about 20 different countries, spread outside their dwellings. It was amazing and really drove the point home how materialistic Americans are.

 

[DisneyPhD]

bajanswife, I hadn't realized that you were living in a developing country.

I plan to send my DD's to visist some good friends who live in Africa (Kenya) when they get to be 14 years old for a month or so. I think it would be very good for them. Have you ever seen any of family swap type relailty shows on National Geographic where they do with (with the whole family?) Really interesting.

I am not a international traveler myself, nor is DH, but we have a number of close friends and family members that are and I think it is very important to be aware of the world around you, especailly as a youth.

 

[bajanswife]

bajanswife, I hadn't realized that you were living in a developing country.

Yes, at least I think Barbados is considered "developing". It's more developed than third world, but still not in the same league as the U.S. I guess it would be a "second world" country, although I never hear that term used!

 

[minkydog]

I watch my relatives teenage sons and daughters get all bent out of shape if their parents do not buy them some thing at the mall. They cry and moan and act like they will "just die" if they do not have a specific consumer good.

I wonder if the typical American teenager knows what life is like for the average person their age who lives outside of America (or Western Europe). The average person in the world lives in a shanty town and has basically nothing. Is this fact taught in school? Do the kids in America today understand world poverty?

Would a trip to a "developing country" change the typical American teenagers perspective towards wasteful spending? Your thoughts please.

I think the average American adult probably doesn't have any idea how "the other half" lives. We think we do--a lot of us grew up in poor families, living in small houses, with no extras. But until you've actually been on the ground and worked beside people whose main meal of the day is 1/2 a pineapple and river water, who wait patiently all day to see the missionary doctor, whose teeth have rotted down to the gums, whose children have bellies full of worms, who live in precarious shacks with no plumbing at all, whose children have no toys at all, not even a ball to play with, I don't think you can really get the picture.

My life was completely changed by a medical mission trip to Jamaica. I highly recommend it to every teenager and adult who has the opportunity. It will open your eyes.

 

[DisneyPhD]

Yes, at least I think Barbados is considered "developing". It's more developed than third world, but still not in the same league as the U.S. I guess it would be a "second world" country, although I never hear that term used!

My DH best friend grew up in St. Kits. He said it was like that. Some places very much like America, some worlds apart. His wife was born and raised in Kenya, (not the friends I was talking about though) but her father was a banker so her life wasn't the typical African life. They all meet in grad school getting their PhD's in Chemestry. My DH was the only one in his group born in the USA.

I remember when we took DH's best friends then friend (now wife) to Ceader point for the 1st time. She had never been to a theme park before. Taking her on roller coasters was amazing!

My I was in HS my best friend was living in Kenya and Tanzaina. She gave me a different prespective of life growing up. I havne't been yet, but have a more interntaional view on life from being friends with her. (she is rather bothered by my love of WDW, but keeps her mouth shut about it most of the time. )

 

[bimshire]

They actually don't have to leave the USA. Katrina exposed ThirdWorldAmerica. Spending some time in the 9th Ward in New Orleans would certainly be an eye opener. I read recently where there are some places in Mississippi that don't have running water and people still go to an outhouse.

 

[minkydog]

They actually don't have to leave the USA. Katrina exposed ThirdWorldAmerica. Spending some time in the 9th Ward in New Orleans would certainly be an eye opener. I read recently where there are some places in Mississippi that don't have running water and people still go to an outhouse.

Good point. I worked as a nurse in west central Alabama and there were rural pockets that had no electricity & no phones. People cooked in open fireplaces a lot. The thing which was striking was the high rate of chronic illnesses, like high blood pressure, diabetes, asthma. I always suspected it was linked to their poor nutrition and poverty.