Do you think this is rude?

[MushyMushy]

DH and I are in disagreement with this and I'm wondering what your view is.

Today, we're taking DD (just turned 11) out with her best friend for a b-day dinner and a matinee. I also want to take them to the mall because I bought something I need to return -- this is all an hour away from where we live and I wanted to kill two birds with one stone. I planned on making the mall a fun thing by letting them pick something out from the candy store and maybe something small from Claire's. On top of that, I want to go to Burlington Coat Factory to buy DD a jacket while we're out, so we don't have to make a separate trip for it.

DH is really balking because he says it's rude to take DD's friend shopping with us when she won't be buying a jacket. I tried to explain to him that a lot of girls just enjoy being at the mall and I don't think either girl will think anything of it.

I'm just trying to be practical too, because I don't want to have to go back out tomorrow to go shopping for a jacket. We live 1/2 hour away from any mall or store.

Anyway, I just wondered if anyone else thought it was rude and I'm just the oddball. That wouldn't be anything new for me.

 

[N&B'smom]

I think it sounds fun!! Go and enjoy! Girls just love being at the mall. I'm sure this friend won't mind you doing a little jacket shopping for your DD. It is HER birthday! HAVE FUN!

Shelby

 

[figment52]

Maybe let her mother in on your plans and see how she feels her daughter will feel about now buying anything and then you have appeased your DH. The peer review of the coat will also give her the confidence that she is getting something cool.

Maybe her mother will send along a few $$ so she can buy herself a top or something.

I think 11 y/o girls love to window shop and she will be happy to tag along.

 

[minkydog]

I don't think it's rude. I think the girls will enjoy it. It would be different if you lived closer to the mall; thenI'd say, save the coat shopping for later. But in this situation I'd do ths same thing, consolidate your trips, save gas and aggravation. I hope you girls have a great time!

 

[MushyMushy]

I'm glad to hear I'm not entirely crazy.

Then again, maybe DH is arguing his point so he won't have to go to the mall with a wife and a couple of giggly girls.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

No way is that rude! My kids have gone shopping with their friends many times before and not expected anything in return. It's not as if you're bringing your DD on a back to school shopping extravaganza and expecting a friend to go along on it and just watch. You're talking about a couple things--a return that you want to do and a coat for your DD. Not a big deal at all. Even if you look at a few stores for the coat, you are not talking about a big shopping trip and you're doing mainly fun things.

 

[holycow]

I don't think it is rude either. You are just purchasing a coat. Not a whole wardrobe. I think it would be fine.


have a great day!


Holyow

 

[ADisneygirl]

I can't imagine why she would think your shopping trip was rude. It is nice of you to include the friend. Most girls love to shop and go to the malls just to walk around. Here they have a guaranteed trip to Claire's and the candy store. Sounds likes like a fun outing. Your daughter probably is just worrying unnecessarily about her friend's feelings of not getting a coat while there. Call and ask the girl's mother what she thinks her daughter would like to do and how she would react to your daughter getting something she is not getting.

Maybe it is the hour drive "out of the way" that your daughter feels funny about dragging along the friend who thought she was just going to a birthday dinner and movie. Either way, I'd ask the girl's mother.

 

[Ginamarie]

I don't think it's rude! It would be rude if just bought candy or drinks for your daughter and left out her friend, but I don't think a friend would expect you to buy her a coat!

 

[Beth76]

Absolutely not rude at all. It's not like you're letting your daughter get candy and not the friend. It's a jacket. Have a good time!

 

[Keli]

Definitely don't feel like shopping for a jacket would be rude to your dd's friend. Like Beth said, it's not like your buying your dd candy and not her friend.

 

[Buckalew11]

We lived 30 mins away from stores when I was growing up. We did things like this all the time. Sometimes I was the jacket getter and sometimes I was the watcher! We also loved it.

I think your DH just thinks it wouldn't be fun for him but boys are different from girls esp. when it comes to shopping!

Have fun!

 

[Ava83]

Not rude at all! I think its great...and this depends "choice" your daughter has with her jacket (you know some of hte stuff they pick yikes!) let them go through the racks and have her help pick?

 

[DVC Jen]

Nope not rude.

 

[paigevz]

No, totally not rude. If you were buying toys or costume jewelry or something, it wouldn't be nice not to get friend something, but no one expects you to buy the friend a jacket!!! I've had DSs friends with us before when I bought shoes or something, no biggie.

 

[Hannathy]

Not rude but if you live that far away from the store I'd let the friend and her Mom know you are going as others have said she may want to give her DD some money in case she needs something or sees something. I know I would appreciate knowing so I wouldn't have to make that drive back in case the friend saw something she wanted! I'd just say something ahead of time.

 

[daisyduck123]

Your DH has a lot to learn about pre-teen girls. They love shopping. Tell him the other girl will not mind at ALL. My DD12 loves any reason to go shopping.

BTW, that is very nice of you to take them to Claire's for both of them to get a little something. Happy B-day to your DD!!

 

[L107ANGEL]

Not rude at all. Sounds like a fun day, I hope your DD has a great birthday

 

[DisneyTarheel]

Pssssst. I hate to out a fellow DH, but he is just trying to avoid having to go coat shopping. Gotta give him points for coming up with a less than obvious ploy.

 

[Becky2005]

Obviously your DH doesn't understand girl shopping. Especially since the fact that you are getting the girl's some candy & something from Claire's. I honestly don't think your DD's friend will have any problem at all with "DD needs a jacket so I want to go to Burlington Coat Factory while we are out shopping". Her friend will probably help her pick it out.

My daughter went shopping with one of her friends at Justice after a sleep-over. They had a blast trying on clothes & just hanging out. I know my DD's friend mom bought her daughter some clothes and my daugther didn't get anything. She was perfectly fine with it.