Do you think this is a good idea?

[patsal]

My nephew is 8 and really wants to go to WDW. He knows we go at least one time per year and is always full of questions. I try my hardes to only answer questions but not to elaborate too much because I don't want the poor little guy to feel badly. I have even asked my children to try to contain their excitment so he doesn't feel bad. Recently he asked if he could go with us on a trip, becasue his parents show no interest. I have already tried to show my sister that her family could afford a trip if they would save up for a period of two years. I think that they should take their own child--seeing the park through the eyes of your children is a most amazing experience. however, I also know in my heart it will never happen. The last time he asked me about it, he told me how much money he had in his little bank in his room--a rather significant amount (it would cover his ticket, food and incidentals for a week). I, in private, asked my sister if it would be alright for us to take him with us in August 2004. She said she couldn't commit, it was not the right time to discuss this with her husband and that she didn't want to go or save for this. I offered to take him alone with us, we'd pick up the airfare and his room. I guess I'll have to take his little brother when he gets old enough as well as my other niece to keep things fair, but that really isn't an issue right now. I was thinking that I could help pad his costs by giving him Disney Dollars for all events (and the year that we go to Fla. consider his trip his Birthday and Christmas gift). My sister thinks that he should just get his regular gifts and that Disney Dollars will make him a nag about something she hasn' t discussed with her husband. My nephew made a comment to me that if I were willing to foot the entire bill than his parents would let him go. I believe that he was repeating what his parents have said--this isn't the first time he has shared such colorful insights! LOL( like the time I learned I was rich!) So I guess what I'm asking, is it a bad idea to give the child Disney Dollars to help him save?

 

[Tiger Fan]

I understand some of how you feel. If it were me I'd try very hard to find a way to take him (and his siblings when old enough). My sister takes her 2 girls all the time, but my partner's brother doesn't get to do a lot for his sons. If it were possible and you feel your sister would allow I would try to. As for "footing the entire bill", I like the idea of him paying with his own money for some of the trip and you pithcing in. As for Disney Dollars my ENTIRE family gives DD for most all ocassions for us and my sister. It works out great and my 5 year old DD and my 4 niece both know we save for awhile and go when we can. I'm sure an 8 year old can understand this.

Lisa

 

[patsal]

Thanks Lisa,
It just tears my heart out to see a child want something so badly and know that I can "help" out. I am steering towards the DD's for gifts for this year and checking one more time with my sister about the child's finances ( he usually gets money from his dad's side of the family and he faithfully banks it). If he can pay for his own pass, food and souvies--and the DD's will help--I'm putting extra away for his ticket for August, 2004. Worse case his parent's will say no--I'll keep what I save for his ticket for when he gets older, and he can go on a shopping spree at the Disney Store!

 

[beansmom]

the only problem I see is the parents. Maybe you should ask her or just give him cash to save. NOt as cute as DD but he will be less crushed if they don't let him go (what monsters! I;m being facetious a bit but if you're willing to take responsibility, they should let him go, I think...but people are weird.)

 

[Mic]

We went through the same scenario with my husband's sister for 3 years. She would always say"We need to go with you all on your next trip", and I would even go so far as to rent a second room for her with my DVC points, only to have her change her mind a month before the trip. Her 2 boys were always crushed. Finally, I pretended to get a discount on tickets(just to save face with my husband's brother and other sister) so her cost was only 1 child and 1 adult 5-day hopper. Also, I used my points to book her room, and actually paid another member for enough points to reserve my own room. She followed me from NC to FL(very LLLOONNGG trip, that was!)and we took down enough food to eat dinner in our room most nights. In the end, she was pleased with the cost, the boys had a great time, and she actually thanked me for the trip(something I thought would never happen). I won't say she has the "fever" for WDW like my family, but she definitely wants to go back! My husband's brother keeps whining about how he could never afford to take his kids(even though he makes more than us) because he really wants us to take his kids with us, at no cost to him, of course! I think you have a great plan, and should EXPECT his parents to purchase his ticket(even if it is out of his own money) as you are assuming much liability by just taking him. The DD's you plan to give him could cover his food and other items, but it could all backfire if his parents aren't willing to let him go. Perhaps your mother could talk to your sister(my mom sometimes still mediates between my 2 younger sisters, and they are grown with several kids!) Good luck!

 

[buzz2400]

I am a single parent with a son. I decided to ask my nephew who is a few years older than my son if he wanted to go with us to disney. I would pay for the entire trip except for his meals. He said yes. His mother said yes. Plane tickets were bought, got a room at the all stars with length of stay passes, etc. When we were about a month away from going, he decided he did not want to go. It was during school and he claimed he could not make up the time in school. Well I then asked his sister if she wanted to go (I could pass her off as her brother because his name was Chris). She did not want to go on the plane. I called WDW they said they would refund my money for his ticket but I was losing sleep over losing the money on the non-refundable plane ticket. My sister did not seem to care. So I called the airline and made the excuse that my nephew did not want to go on planes after 9/11. They did refund my money, however they also refunded my money on my son's ticket (they were bought the same time). Now I panicked. I am going but now my son has no way of getting to FL. On the phone with airline for so long but they managed to find him a seat but I had to pay $50 more. Well anyway it is a nice gesture to bring along a young relative who will probably never experience they joy of WDW or Universal but be prepared for any "problems". No matter how much I feel sorry for my niece and nephew I would never ask them again. Just thought I would share.

 

[HunnyPots]

August 2004 is an AWFULLY long time from now, especially for a child, and I wouldn't want to get his hopes up for plans that could change many times between now and then.
I would say go ahead and save for him if you can, on the off chance that his parents will let him go. Then, if they say yes, you can tell him. If they say no, you have more money saved for your own family and your nephew doesn't get dissappointed because he never knew it was a possibility.

Good luck with the sister!

 

[patsal]

These responses have given me so much to think about, Thanks!

buzz-that's an interesting perspective, thank you for sharing.

hunnypots/beansmom-- I know that 2004 is a ways off, but since they need to save I can't take him in April or June with me. We DVC so I'll have to book 2004 in September 2003 and I'll need a 2BR rather than a 1BR since I'll have 5 with me(I'm going to have to rent extra points for this). Sister's can be something else! LOL. Rather than the DD's, I was thinking of cash as gifts & not mentioning it again. With 10 days notice picking everything up (passes, etc) and just picking him up and taking off--with sister's permisssion of course!

mic- I may have to go to Mom with this one! Why do I have that Heatmiser/Snowmiser--Mother Nature scene running through my head! LOL

 

[HunnyPots]

Why do I have that Heatmiser/Snowmiser--Mother Nature scene running through my head! LOL

LOL!!

 

[SeaWitch]

Oh, Patsal... I feel for you! I, too, have family/friends who just don't get it.

Our very first trip to WDW was because my SIL offered to 'pay for our room' (a DVC'er). We jumped on it! We were prepared to pay for our passes, but she surprised us and gave them as an anniversary gift. I will never forget it.

We have since joined DVC and made the offer to many times to 'take care of the room' - we just asked for family/friends to agree to the 11/7 month 'window' so we can book what we need...
2 years ago - it ended up being just me & DH in a 2 Bedroom @ OKW... our friends just never seemed to get around to making their airfare reservations. (I should have known... they thought I was crazy when I called them about an excellent airfare 6 months in advance)

This trip, we decided to take care of the cost ourselves and extend an offer to my sister & her kids (they would not be able to afford it themselves)... I just asked that they commit to the vacation (NO BACKING OUT) about 1 year ago. Now it's a few weeks away and they are very excited! FINALLY!

 

[MandaMom]

PatSal and Seawitch

You guys are great. I wish I had you for sister's I took my sister when she was 13 and I was 21. This January will be her first time back since she was 13 (10 years ago). It will be her boyfriends first trip. They are Pooh and friend fanatics. They are so excited. My husband and I are fulling funding the trip except for their park entrance. This will be my last trip for a while since I am trying to get into dental hygiene school. ( a two year program) wish me luck. If I can make it through school the first thing I am going to do is buy into DVC. I will for sure invite all my family. Luckily my older sister is totally into Disney as well. Being from Northern Ca. our families have had hard times lately. My dh , bil and I were all laid off within 3 months of each other. We all have DL Premium Annual Passports but I really should have also purchased the WDW AP as this will be my second trip (we went last May)

Just wanted to tell you that whatever you give PatSal is appropriate afterall it is a gift. Give from your heart no matter what your sister has to say about it. If your nephew wants to save for the trip let him. It sounds like they wouldn't mind if you took him, they just don't want to have to pay for it.

Good Luck.

MandaMom

 

[luv2nascar]

Although I feel you are trying to do a really nice thing
without his parents blessing I would let this drop
Either be prepared to pay for his entire trip or not take him
Although he says he has money & maybe he has the money
My DD's money is divided into three catagories savings, spending, and donations
Don't make assumptions about money he is saving that it can be spent on a trip. That really is up to his parents.
Just my humble impressions

 

[patsal]

luv2nascar--wow, thanks for that perspective--I'd never really thought that the child's money might be designated for other things. I guess it is very easy to forget that all people don't do things the way we do them! I don't let the kids put money in the little bank in their room until after the "savings" and charity money have been put away, but that doesn't mean that they do it that way at my sister's house.

Seawitch--I think that maybe I should try to engage my sister one more time in the planning, etc.(not until after Christmas and not within nephew's earshot) and then if she says no to helping finance, but will allow the trip at my expense, I could discuss the possibility of covering the whole thing with DH. I'd rather just treat the child to the trip, but if I start giving him money to be put away I want to know that money is going to be there to be used for the trip.
Mandamom-- goodluck with school. I'm sure you'll do great--I'll be looking forward to "welcoming you home"on the DVC board in a few years!

Anyone else with addional ideas and perspectives, please share. I really want to do the right thing and cause the least amount of friction while allowing the child to take the trip.

 

[epcotfan]

I would say take him if his parents are for it 110%. If not I'd give up on the idea. It would be awful for them to say he can go half heartedly and then have them change their minds AFTER you've purchased airline tickets, etc...Although I feel bad for the little guy it may be more trouble than it is worth.