Do you think its rude to make someone reschedule a bday party?

[Minnie824]

Ok, heres the story...theres a group of 6 of us that are good friends from high school still. All but 1 are married. Friend A - Anna. Her DH was throwing her a surprise bday party earlier this year. Sent out invites, did planning etc. about 2 months ahead of time. One month after all that Friend B - Betty, decides her and her DH need to go on a vacation, and the only time they could was over the bday party time, so she calls Anna's DH and says hey, can you change it? Well Anna's DH did, and that made it so some of her relatives, and 1 of her best friends was not able to make it to the party.

Fast forward...Friend C - Cathy has been planning a non-surprise, just party for a few months now. Everyone had no problem making it. Now, Anna suddenly has to go on vacation over the date when the party is. Cathy suggested pushing out the party by 1 week, but that didnt work for everyone. Betty suggests Cathy change the date to 2 months in the future! So, party staying as is, Anna not going.

Anyway, do you think all of this is rude, to schedule vacations over dates that were specifically chosen to meet everyones schedule, and then expect everyone to reschedule? Just curious.

 

[disykat]

In my group of friends if someone schedules a party and you have something come up, you call the hosts and say you're sorry you can't make it. Rescheduling the party is silly - there's always going to be someone that has something.

The only time I think rescheduling is worth it is if you're talking about a very small group (3 or 4 people) and you can check with everyone.

 

[EthansMom]

Anyway, do you think all of this is rude, to schedule vacations over dates that were specifically chosen to meet everyones schedule, and then expect everyone to reschedule? Just curious.

Yes, it's rude. I've had the same problem in the past -- schedule a party at a time that would be most convenient and then have guests that wanted it rescheduled around their wants/needs. I've also had guests try to convince me to change the food I'm serving based on their preferences. Rude, rude, rude, rude.

If you can't attend a party, you should say, "Oh, I'm so sorry I can't attend," and leave it at that. If you don't like some of the food, then nibble on anything you do like and eat when you get home.

 

[experiment626mom]

That's really rude. Sounds like Betty likes to see if she can make you all jump through hoops. I would just tell her we will all miss you at the party!

 

[Charade]

I'm dizzy now and need to sit down. Wait... I am sitting down.

 

[Daxx]

I would NEVER ask anyone to reschedule a party b/c I couldn't be there. That is just downright rude!!! I'd just tell the host "sorry, hate to miss, but we have other plans" and I'd send a gift.

Now, we booked our Disney vaca. in July waaay back in March. Our niece announced her wedding date -- and it happened to fall during our booked vacation. We told her "we'll be away then, we're so sorry to miss your day". Turns out, 2 months before the wedding, we got a better rate on airfare and left 2 days after her wedding, so we were able to attend after all. Nice that it worked out that way, but I would have never (a) cancelled our trip or (b) asked her to move her wedding date.

 

[ericamanda01]

Rescheduling someones birthday party just so you can go on vacation seems very rude to me. Why should so many others have to miss it because she can't change her schedule.

 

[Keggy]

I think everyone needs to stop trying to accomodate Anna...

I think it is rude to expect someone to change their party plans for you...


Kelly

 

[skuttle]

That's ridiculous! Normally, my three close girlfriends and I will check with each other re dates first and then invite everyone else to make sure the four of us can make it. If someone cannot and no other date is good, that person just does not go and understands.

 

[Minnie824]

Thanks for the input. I wasn't going to think much of it, but 2 other people, not in our group of 6, mentioned to me they thought it was rude, and now its seems they're not the only ones. Its always good, for me anyway, to get opinions of others not directly in the situation. thanks.

 

[lulugirl]

I would never ask someone to reschedule a party. I think Betty was very rude and Anna's Dh was foolish for rescheduling.

 

[auntpolly]

I don't think it's rude to ask -- yes, it's rude to expect but not ask. My friends and I are very close. If someone asked something like this, everyone wouldn't freak out. We'd do it if we could and we wouldn't if we couldn't. This has actually happened to us. Usually, we can't change the date of things, but we take a look and see.

I don't get why the question is so rude, as long as the person's OK with it if everyone says no we can't change it.

 

[RickinNYC]

I have a group of friends since college as well and there was one particular individual who regularly asked us to reschedule nights out, parties, etc... and everyone complied. Not sure why. Well, it was my turn to throw a Christmas party and sure enough, she called and said she couldn't make it, couldn't I just change the date to another weekend. Told her nope, and was sorry we wouldn't see her. And poof! She made the party.

Yep, it's rude of those friends to ask to change party dates. Besides, it's just a party. Not the signing of a peace treaty!

 

[simpilotswife]

Yes it's very rude.

 

[Beth76]

I don't think it's rude to ask -- yes, it's rude to expect but not ask.

I don't get why the question is so rude, as long as the person's OK with it if everyone says no we can't change it.

You don't think it's rude to ask someone to change the date AFTER the invites were sent? This person also purposely scheduled a vacation at this time. It's not like it just happened to fall at the same time.

OP, I can't believe your friend's husband actually changed the dates. So, now more people can't come. That's ridiculous.

 

[auntpolly]

You don't think it's rude to ask someone to change the date AFTER the invites were sent? This person also purposely scheduled a vacation at this time. It's not like it just happened to fall at the same time.

OP, I can't believe your friend's husband actually changed the dates. So, now more people can't come. That's ridiculous.

Well, that's my point -- I think the rude one is the person that actually changed the date without consulting everyone else.

I guess it depends on how close everyone is. I have a tight group of girlfriends, and one had planned a BD party for another. Another called and said, I'm going to be away, can we do it another day? Because we think of it as us all celebrating the birthday. As it turned out, it was not possible to change the date, and my friend who asked said, "Oh, I'm sorrry I'll miss it! Be sure she knows I'm sorry I couldn't come.

No one was mad at her asking, but we would have been mad at our other friend if she changed the day without asking us.If we all agreed on the change - great!

I think sometimes we just take offense too easily and jump on any chance to get mad at our friends.