Do You Think It's Incredibly Rude To Bring Uninvited Siblings To Bday Parties?

[summerrluvv]

I just can't imagine showing up at a birthday party bringing extra kids that weren't invited. I could see if you had asked the party host prior, but to just show up?! I attended a birthday party yesterday and the mom wasn't expecting nearly as many kids that came (nor was the place that was hosting it). Nearly everyone brought a sibling! This poor mother had to pay $14.00 for each kid that came to the party. All the extras really added up I'm sure.

 

[momof2inPA]

No, I just expect them, but I would never expect someone hosting a party to pay for extra siblings. Adding, I do think it's a little rude to just show up with extra kids and not tell the host, but some parents have no one to watch the extra kids, like a trusted sitter or relatives that live close.

 

[NMAmy]

I do think it's rude--particularly when it's not at your home and it costs more per each child.

Of course, I only have one child so I don't really understand why parents would do this. I do have sisters and growing up we just understood that I went to some parties--my sis went to others. We didn't go to each other's friends parties.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

That is rude. I can't imagine just bringing an extra child. And as the host/hostess, I would be really ticked to pay the extra money. I think I would have told the parents that I only had reservations for X number of children and the others would be on their own.

 

[kimwim8]

ABSOLUTELY!! I had one child whose mother insisted on bringing his little sister to every party. Yes, my DD knew her from the daycare, but she wasn't invited. The first year I didn't say anything b/c the party was at our house, but she didn't get a princess hat with her name on it like the other girls did. The second year was worse b/c the party was at DD's gymnastics gym. When the mom had told me that her son would be able to make it, I said...sorry I can't invite (your daughter) but it's there's a certain child-coach ratio...and I've already hit that number. Well, wouldn't you know she just showed up with her DD & said "sorry my DH had to work...well how was I supposed to tell her..ok, well then come back in a couple hours to pick up your DS?" The poor little girl had a leotard on and everything!

Well, DD decided to have an all girl party this year (except for a few family members) so we avoided that one.

 

[bajanswife]

I feel like I'm always in the minority here but here goes .... if I didn't take DS' siblings to parties with him, he'd hardly ever get to go to any. For some reason DH is always busy or traveling and my kids are all 5 and under, so they all have to come with me. I almost always ask if it's OK, and it always is b/c the vast majority of birthday parties here are house parties and there is always too much food anyway! I always pay close attention when we are leaving, in case it seems like there's a loot bag shortage - I want to make sure the hostess knows that I'm not expecting anything for the siblings. Often the hostess will have extra stuff though, allowing for siblings, and also b/c people who were supposed to come didn't show up.

On Saturday I didn't ask before taking all to a party, but that's b/c I knew the hostess knew that I usually had to bring them all, and a mutual friend was also bringing her younger ones. The hostess had a few sweets tied up in a pretty bag for the siblings, and I was quite happy for my DDs to share one (I would have been happy with nothing too - my kids are warned not to automatically expect something, and DS knows that if his sisters can't get a loot bag then he has to share his).

I think it's polite to ask, and accept "no" if it's too difficult; but I also think hostesses should be sensitive to the predicaments of the guests - they can't always only bring the invited child. Often if the DS is a good friend of the birthday child, the child's parents will want us all to come b/c they don't want DS to miss the party.

 

[Mimi Q]

Yes, I think it is rude.

 

[lulugirl]

Yes, I think it's rude to just show up w/ extra guests. If they call to ask first I will always say yes and make sure I have enough food and goody bags.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

That's very rude! I remember one needing to bring one of my younger kids to a birthday party years ago at Discovery Zone. When I went in I informed the birthday mom that I had the younger brother, but that I would be buying his admission. She told me that she's payed for the minimum kids (10 I think) and one or two couldn't make it at the last minute so my son could join at no charge. Of course that worked out well for me and I wasn't going to argue. I remember he even got a goody bag since she had extra, but I never would have expected that. I had planned and expected to pay.

Under normal circumstances, I expect the invited guest to come, without siblings, unless it's a home party and/or it's been ok'ed in advance. Sometimes the parents are in a bind and that I understand, but parties can be expensive! I do always buy enough goody bag supplies that I can hand out extra stuff to siblings, even if they are only there to pick up a brother or sister. A balloon or piece of candy can go a long way to curb jealousy.

T&B

 

[MouseClubMom]

Yep it is VERY rude. Would you show up at an adult's party uninvited???

It always seems to happen so I usually try to have a couple of extra goody bags made up just in case but so far we have avoided parties at places where you pay per kid. If I did have to pay then I would have to let the parents know that I wasnt expecting their child and let them know the cost if they want the sibling to stay and participate.

MCMom

 

[DisneyPhD]

I just expect them, especailly if they are close in age.

DD just had a party at Caserland (my house still under construction) and a friend from pre-school came. Her mom brought her and her dad brougth her older sister planning on them sitting in another area and getting their own pizza. I instisted they sit with us and have cake. I didn' have a gift bag for her, but she knew she wouldn't get one. The other kids that came with sibling I expected and planned for.

My DD always invists her friend who used to live across the street. She knows with this friend it is a "2 for 1" invite because her brother is invited too.

My DD is young (4) I gues as they get older it would be different. I know I have to drag the baby everywhere I go since she doesn't take a bottle, but then again she doesn't eat cake either or take up any extra space really!

 

[FayeW]

I am stunned at the idea that someone would bring UNINVITED children to a party. The invites are usually given out a week or more in advance, there is no reason someone can't make arrangements for a spouse, friend, neighbor, relative to watch the other kids while you DROP OFF your child. Do all the parents stay for these parties??

 

[maci]

If for some reason I have to bring a sibling to a party, I always ask ahead of time, and offer to pay their way.


BUT, when I am having a party, I always allow for a few unexpected siblings, and buy a few extra goody bags too.

 

[nuke]

I think it's extremely rude and frankly I just don't understand it. If my child invites "Bobby" it's because he wants Bobby there. Not Bobby and Bobby's little brother Johnny and little sister Jane.
On another note, why can't Bobby just go to a party without his siblings? I have two older brothers and I never went to the parties they were invited to and they never went to parties I was invited to.

 

[hentob]

I do think it is rude.

I have 3 children ages 5-5-6. Sadly, my 6 year old has had to stay home from two parties this year b/c my dh was away for work and I had nobody to watch the younger ones. He (DS6) is not old enough to just "drop off" yet. Maybe next year.

I would NEVER ask if I could bring 2 more children....what if everyone did that?

My good friend had a party a few weeks ago. She invited her son's entire class. This included my son, aged 6. My five year old twins were not invited b/c that would have opened the door to many, many younger family members of the birthday boy. This way she could say--"I'm sorry, I just invited the class" to cousins that weren't invited.

It was a good plan.

Would you believe THREE of the classmate's mothers brought younger siblings Remember, younger family members of the birthday boy weren't even invited (due to the house already busting with just the classmates), now total strangers were bringing their children. Ofcourse, around here, mom's stay with their child. I think it is an unspoken and expected rule. Next year, I think parties will be just a "drop off" thing as far as DS6 is concerned. This should cut down on the Sibling Invasions.

And I think calling and asking if you can bring univited guests REALLY puts the hostess in an uncomfortable position. Just b/c they feel badly and say yes, doesn't mean it is right.

As always, just my opinion.

 

[summerrluvv]

No, I just expect them, but I would never expect someone hosting a party to pay for extra siblings. Adding, I do think it's a little rude to just show up with extra kids and not tell the host, but some parents have no one to watch the extra kids, like a trusted sitter or relatives that live close.

If they don't have someone to watch the other kids, and haven't ran it by the party host to bring them, IMO then they should just not attend the party at all.

That's like being invited to a wedding that was intended for the parents and bringing your child because you didn't have a sitter.

 

[maci]

Well the instances I am thinking of are parties in the middle of the work week at lunch time.
We have had invites to parties on tues afternoon at noon. If the parents are having parties at these times then I would think they would expect siblings, that being said, I still always ask.

I know that my kids would rather their friends make it to their parties than have them miss it b/c their mom couldnt find a babysitter for their siblings.

 

[hentob]

Yep it is VERY rude. Would you show up at an adult's party uninvited???

It always seems to happen so I usually try to have a couple of extra goody bags made up just in case but so far we have avoided parties at places where you pay per kid. If I did have to pay then I would have to let the parents know that I wasnt expecting their child and let them know the cost if they want the sibling to stay and participate.

MCMom

I agree with you.

Last year, a mother came with the invited boy, PLUS his 12 /o sister, PLUS a friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was a McD's party and only like $6 a kid so I paid for the TWELVE year old sister and friend of the boy out of pure embarrassment for the vey ill mannered mother. But, come on! Who would bring a soon-to-be teen and a friend to a young child's birthday party (again, a McD's birthday party) and ask "Where do they sign up?"

 

[va32h]

Yes, I do think it is rude. When my child is invited to a party - it is my child who attends. Not their siblings, and not me. I have no need for a babysitter, because I don't stay at the party.

I have hosted several birthday parties and never expect the guests' parents to stay with them. If a child can go to school for a few hours, without their parents' presence, why can't they stay at a party for a few hours without them? And if I don't know the host parents well enough to leave my kid at their house - well then I don't know them well enough to be attending their party in the first place.

 

[maci]

That's like being invited to a wedding that was intended for the parents and bringing your child because you didn't have a sitter.

A wedding and a Childs bday party are 2 totally different things IMO.

Most of the parties I go to, I am friends with the parents, and dont feel weird about asking if a sibling can come, if I pay their way, and if they said no, then I would be fine with it too, and do not get bent out of shape when people ask if siblings can come to my kids parties either.