Do you teach your kids table manners?

[2binak]

Well, they won't know any better if they aren't taught.

For me, table manners are a MUST!!!!! Our DD is only 20 months old, but she already knows that you don't touch other people's plates or drinks. She often points at her plate and says, "X's pasta" and then points at my plate and says, "Mama's pasta" or whatever food we might have. If we are eating something while sitting on the floor or on the couch, she will not touch it, but she will point at it and ask to have some. She says "excuse me" when she burps, is made to say "please" when asking for food and she knows to wipe her hands & mouth before getting out of her high chair.

We were at a football party where everyone was asked to bring a dish. The hosts 3 yr old DD stood on a chair at the food table, sampling all of the foods. She was sticking her finger into dips, licking it and sticking it back in and taking bites out of food and putting it back Her parents saw her, but said nothing. I tried to say something to her, but she just kept on sampling. I finally went over and moved the food we brought to a spot that she couldn't reach (luckily, she hadn't gotten to it yet!). All of the adults were horrified, but her parents didn't seem phased by it. No one was in the mood to eat after that the hosts even commented that no one was eating. I finally told the mother why we weren't eating and she said, "Oh she's just having fun." UGH!

 

[yoopermom]

DS14 gave me a wonderful memory when, at about the age of 4, he looked around the dining table at DHs parents (his GM/GF) and said, "We don't start eatin' 'til mamma sits down!" (Yes, they eat like vultures once the food hits the table and don't wait for anyone!)

Terri

 

[jen0610]

Like not sticking their fingers in other peoples food? or do you write it off as " well he is just 6 he doesn't know any better?

This is the biggest pet peave I have, so the kids have been taught from early on, don't touch. I have had this pet peave since high school. The guy my best friend was dating would come up and just take stuff off my tray. I told him, she told him, everybody else at the table told him to knock it off. He thought it was funny and kept doing it. It went on for weeks. I wasn't as outspoken as I am now and didn't do anything to make him stop. I don't remember what set me of, but I finally told him if he tried taking anything else off my tray, I'd make sure it was the last time he did it. The next day he, he was trying to swipe from my tray and ended up with my fork tines buried in the back of his hand. I got it good and buried, as the fork stood straight up when I let go. Nobody at the table was in a hurry to help him. He ended up in the office, nobody at the table knows what happened and he never touched anything of mine again.

DH knows it bugs me to the point of, when I am done eating and I have a fries or a couple of bites of something left, he asks if he can have them, he doesn't just take them. The 1st time I met his family from CA, he thought his nephew was going to die. This 14 year kid reaches over, lays his hand on top of all the onion rings DH (then boyfriend) and I ordered and asks if he can have one. Before I can reply, DH states loud enough to get his sisters attention, that now that he's touched all of them, he could just have them all. She heard the nephew whine that he just wanted one. DH told him, that if he wanted just one, he should have asked, not have laid his whole hand on top the whole order sitting in the basket. Then he looked directly at his sister and told her that we wouldn't be eating any of those now. She never blinked an eye or said anything to her son. After that, we always made sure we never sat close to him when they came home to visit.

 

[jen0610]

This:

Not This:

Or ever this!!:
(just turn the fork around so the tines are coming out the bottom of the fist)

OMG!!!!!! Picture number 3 is how DH use to hold his fork, knife, and spoons. I said USE TO. I broke him of that habit early on during dating. Every once in a while, just to get my goat, he'll switch he grip to this, but I know he's joking and ask if he's going to pick up his plate after he's done and lick it clean as well.

Picture #2 doesn't bug me as much as #3. I know someone who didn't have a real strong grip and holding the fork like picture #2 actually made it easier for them when cutting meat.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

OMG!!!!!! Picture number 3 is how DH use to hold his fork, knife, and spoons. I said USE TO. I broke him of that habit early on during dating. Every once in a while, just to get my goat, he'll switch he grip to this, but I know he's joking and ask if he's going to pick up his plate after he's done and lick it clean as well.

Picture #2 doesn't bug me as much as #3. I know someone who didn't have a real strong grip and holding the fork like picture #2 actually made it easier for them when cutting meat.

I agree, #2 doesn't bother me that much either. I just threw that in there as a transition to the fist holder. #3 is where I have the major pet peeve.

You hit the nail on head when you state that one half expects the person to also pick up the plate and start licking it clean when seen holding their utensils like that.

 

[mcco5543]

When I was a child, my mother used to play "restaraunt" at lunch time. With my sister and I.

There were two scenario's
1: She'd set the table semi formally and serve lunch, then she'd sit down and pretend she was "the queen" and we would all pretend to be having lunch with "the queen" every time we would commit a dining faux pas she would say in a regal Julia Child like voice "the queen would not aprrrrove" and roll her R's. We would laugh and change our behavior so the queen would aprove. She kept up this character through the meal and we had fun learning

2: My mother would set the table and write out "menu's" for the "restaurant"
She'd give us the regular kid choices PBand J, Soup Fruit plate etc... It was always fun to "order" She'd do a funny accent and take our order on a note pad, then she'd go make lunch for all of us and we'd have lunch at the restaurant. We were expected to behave as if we were in one. It was another fun way to practice!

I highly reccomend it to anyone who wants to have a little fun with their kids and has the time and inclination. It really does work. My sister and I to this day are complimented highly on our manners.

 

[bookgirl]

???

so what are they supposed to do, hold the meat with their fingers while cutting it?

I have dined all over the world, and I assure you that in a lot of places, they use the fork to hold the meat while cutting it.

I think she means holding the fork in a closed fist instead of tripoding it with your thumb and first two fingers while they cut.

Sometimes I eat using my right to cut while holding the meat with my fork in my left hand, putting down the knife, then switching the fork to my right to eat. Sometimes I hold the meat with my fork in my right hand, cut with my left then just raise my right to eat with out putting down my knife or turn the fork right side up. One's american, one's english and it drives some people batty. Don't know why. I have tolerance for utensil holding, finger eating drive me nuts or eating with your mouth open, that drives me batty.

My nephews have some bad habits (mostly over stuffing thier mouths or fingering thier food) that they use at home with thier mom, but they don't get to with me or at their dad's house.

 

[EMom]

This happened years ago, because the kid in question is now in high school. I was visiting a relative with a newish baby. She'd made lunch and told me to eat with her many kids while she sat on the couch in the living room and fed the baby. Those kids were wild, just wild. Like a pack of monkeys. And you could barely understand a word they said, even the kindergartener.

So I hesitantly sat down to lunch with the wild things. We're barely into the meal when the 3 y.o. boy reaches over and shoves his finger all the way down into my casserole. I promise you, that finger was dirty. I'm not proud of this, but the next part just slipped out as an instant reaction.

I yelped, "Stop that, you little imp!" For some reason, that struck the kids as funny and they died laughing. Then the boy piped up in response, "Ooh imp." Translation: "You're an imp." He kept saying it. Ooh imp. Ooh imp. Ooh imp. Finally, his mother wanted to know what he was going on about, and I decided to just 'fess up and tell her I'd called her kid an imp for shoving his finger in my food. She was not surprised in the least. (Not at me calling him an imp; rather at him shoving his finger in my food.)

I never ate there again. And I did not finish that meal.

 

[rie'smom]

When I was a child, my mother used to play "restaraunt" at lunch time. With my sister and I.

There were two scenario's
1: She'd set the table semi formally and serve lunch, then she'd sit down and pretend she was "the queen" and we would all pretend to be having lunch with "the queen" every time we would commit a dining faux pas she would say in a regal Julia Child like voice "the queen would not aprrrrove" and roll her R's. We would laugh and change our behavior so the queen would aprove. She kept up this character through the meal and we had fun learning

2: My mother would set the table and write out "menu's" for the "restaurant"
She'd give us the regular kid choices PBand J, Soup Fruit plate etc... It was always fun to "order" She'd do a funny accent and take our order on a note pad, then she'd go make lunch for all of us and we'd have lunch at the restaurant. We were expected to behave as if we were in one. It was another fun way to practice!

I highly reccomend it to anyone who wants to have a little fun with their kids and has the time and inclination. It really does work. My sister and I to this day are complimented highly on our manners.

Very cute idea! My 3 kids are plenty old enough to know their mannews but I'll do this with my grandkids if I eve have them.

 

[ilovejack02]

I started teaching table manners as soon as my kids learned to use utensils .

My oldest is 20 and while not always the picture of grace, he def. knows how to act in public. I have been complemented on my kids manners several times. Too bad we don't always get that at home LOL!

My 7 yr old is pretty good, still lots of work to go. Not even so much work, just reminders, but that is to be expected of a young child.

 

[pixiewings71]

Of course, this is part of parenting, you teach your children the proper way to act while you're eating. No matter if you're eating a slice of pizza with your hands or a full formal meal you use your manners, you say "please, thank you" etc etc. No one touches anyone's food without asking first, that's just rude and disgusting. As for holding the fork/knife, I must confess, I'm usually picture #2, but I have really small hands and honestly, it's really difficult for me to use picture #1, I do try but I usually just can't do it....it's weird but I slip using the first method......the first time I ate with DBF's parents I used the first method, slipped, cut myself with the knife, hit my water glass and broke it! LOL OMG I was soooooooooooooooooo embarrassed..............but that was 7 years ago so I guess I got thru it. LOL Really, I have tiny hands, my 9 y.o.'s hands are bigger than mine....LOL It's a wonder I can type 75 wpm! LOL

We very regularly get compliments on the manners of the girls, from servers, from hostesses, from family. They are very well behaved at the table, usually. LOL They do have their moments but trust you me, if they stuck their hands in someone else's food not only would I punish them but whomever's food they ruined would have a say too.

 

[andy.b]

I can't stand when people chew food with their mouths open or talk with food in their mouths. I'm 18 now, and I have great table manners that my parents taught me. I remember a long time ago my family went out to eat and an older couple complimented my sister and I on how good we were and what good manners we had. Then they bought my sister and I ice cream, haha, it was awesome.

 

[Momvic5]

We have taught our children manners, and they are expected to use them at all times when we are with others or out in public; however, when we are at home and it is just the five of us, we are more relaxed with all the rules. No, we still do not allow food to be thrown or finger poked, but we do relax. In fact, my dh will sometimes purposefully reach across me or steal someone's napkin just to get a smile or a laugh from the kids. We don't even mind them talking while they have small amounts of food in their mouths as long as they are talking and enjoying dinner. For us, there is a time to enforce all the rules and a time to be more relaxed. My children are older now(13, 10, and 8yrs old), and they know when they need to use their best manners and when they can just relax and eat (within reason of course).

 

[Nolcrest]

AT 6 years old they better not be sticking their fingers in my food!

I teach basic table manners in my pre-school class and yes it can be done.

My children in class are taught to sit in their chair with their feet in front of them, keep their hands on their own table spot, don't speak with food in their mouths, use an inside voice, ask to have something passed to them, say please & thank you, if you drop something pick it up, if you spill something wipe it up, do not ask others if you can have some of their lunch (I'm more concerned with allergies here), remain seated while eating, save the dessert item for last, raise your hand if help is needed and put away your items when finished.

Seems like alot but this is the time to instill manners. This also helps me on a safety level. I can easily hear or spot someone choking (yes I've had to do heimlich before). The parents are so impressed when they come in to see 15 children eating so nicely together. It reallt isn't difficult. You just need to be consistent and be patient enough while they are learning the social skills that will carry them through life.

 

[minkydog]

I can't stand when people chew food with their mouths open or talk with food in their mouths. I'm 18 now, and I have great table manners that my parents taught me. I remember a long time ago my family went out to eat and an older couple complimented my sister and I on how good we were and what good manners we had. Then they bought my sister and I ice cream, haha, it was awesome.

It's downright heart-warming to read that an 18yo would think to use such good manners. When I was in college there was a young man who had THE WORST table manners. Like, in NONE at all. He thought nothing of picking something up off your plate--he wasn't being snarky, he truly was clueless. He was the only child of much older parents and they had never enforced any kind of manners. We tried and tried to get him to understand, but he continued to eat like a dog, licking his plate, and taking our food. One day he reached over to touch my cake and I stabbed the back of his hand about 1/4" deep with a fork. He couldn't believe I drew blood ! He really thought it was okay to take my cake because "you weren't eating it." Hello, dumb head. You're an idiot. I don't care if that cake sits on my plate for 4 days. Keep your nasty paws off my food! That boy never gave me any trouble again.

 

[RainbowBrite]

This is why I hate eating in front of people - my worst fear is that other people will think I have terrible table manners. I try my hardest to chew with my mouth closed, but I can't breathe through my nose very well so I'm basically unable to breathe when I eat. I've told various doctors about this over the years but all they've done is given me nasal sprays which haven't worked.

 

[bookgirl]

This is why I hate eating in front of people - my worst fear is that other people will think I have terrible table manners. I try my hardest to chew with my mouth closed, but I can't breathe through my nose very well so I'm basically unable to breathe when I eat. I've told various doctors about this over the years but all they've done is given me nasal sprays which haven't worked.

Totally understand that. I have lots of allergies, when they act up I take small bites (quick to chew) or look down or cover my mouth with my hand when I need to take a breath. I'ts a pain but like you I can't stand the thought of people seeing me chew with my mouth open.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

When I was a child, my mother used to play "restaraunt" at lunch time. With my sister and I.

There were two scenario's
1: She'd set the table semi formally and serve lunch, then she'd sit down and pretend she was "the queen" and we would all pretend to be having lunch with "the queen" every time we would commit a dining faux pas she would say in a regal Julia Child like voice "the queen would not aprrrrove" and roll her R's. We would laugh and change our behavior so the queen would aprove. She kept up this character through the meal and we had fun learning

2: My mother would set the table and write out "menu's" for the "restaurant"
She'd give us the regular kid choices PBand J, Soup Fruit plate etc... It was always fun to "order" She'd do a funny accent and take our order on a note pad, then she'd go make lunch for all of us and we'd have lunch at the restaurant. We were expected to behave as if we were in one. It was another fun way to practice!

I highly reccomend it to anyone who wants to have a little fun with their kids and has the time and inclination. It really does work. My sister and I to this day are complimented highly on our manners.

This is really cute. I may have to do this with DD to bone up for the cruise!! Thanks for the great ideas.

 

[RainbowBrite]

Totally understand that. I have lots of allergies, when they act up I take small bites (quick to chew) or look down or cover my mouth with my hand when I need to take a breath. I'ts a pain but like you I can't stand the thought of people seeing me chew with my mouth open.

Those are pretty much the things I do too. It's good to run across someone else who has that problem!