Do you let Your kids watch "R" rated movies

[NotUrsula]

I pay no attention to MPAA ratings whatsoever; DH & I are film buffs from way back, and we are very aware of the political maneuvering that goes on in the ratings system. IMO it's worthless. I judge films myself before I let my children watch, though most of the time I'm quite liberal. It depends on presentation and context, but most of the time I'm fine with sexual content. Gratuitous violence or gratuitous profanity is another matter; generally that will get a "too old for you" rating from Mom & Dad.

An example of one I won't let my 10 yo watch yet is Dogma. Good movie, but IMO the profanity was overdone and distracting. I know my kid, and if he saw it he would be so gleeful about all the swearing that he would totally miss the plot. (And yes, we're Catholic, and DS attends Catholic school.) He has seen a lot of war movies, though, including Saving Private Ryan -- I think it is appropriate for kids to know that war is a very ugly thing.

DVD's are wonderful. Sometimes I'll selectively let the kids watch parts of a film but not all of it, if only parts of it are inappropriate. One film we've seen this way is Love, Actually -- the only parts that I find inappropriate for my children are the vignettes with the porn film actors.

PS: We don't let DS play first person shooter video games; he's not old enough yet to understand the ethical implications of killing people for fun.

 

[disykat]

I agree about the video games. We go by the age rating on those as well, and only make exceptions after research.

Even though I'm one that generally goes by the age rating, I'm going to defend the person who said they sometimes attach it to chores. I read that thread. That poster has kids of the age where most of their friends (at least according to this thread) already watch R. We were talking about paying for chores and she said that she doesn't pay, but sometimes she gives a special priviledge- including watching an R movie. I've done the same thing so I can relate. I do watch ratings, but I do make exceptions - and yes, sometimes it is done as a reward. My 12 year old recently has been petitioning to play a "T" rated video game and wanted to strike a deal with me that if he got good grades he would earn the priviledge of playing it. After looking at the game, I agreed. I do look at their maturity level when making those decisions - so IMO linking mature behavior (such as doing chores, getting good grades) to their ability to handle adult content makes sense.

 

[diskids2]

I let them watch R rated movies....one is 13 and the other 16.

 

[dturner]

Very interesting thread.

DS(11) does NOT watch any "R" rated movies, ever. I cringe at some of the PG-13 rated movies. I think "hope" most of the sexual innuendos in those movies goes right over his head.

DS(11) however does play "M" rated video games but NOT all of them. I look at the back to see what the content is - the Grand Theft Auto series I will not allow him to play as they have sexual content in them. Halo is fine with me - in fact, I was watching him play Halo 3 and commented "why on earth is this one rated M" and both he and DH said "the blood/gore."

I do however make sure he knows "all the time" that these are video games and not real life - i.e., "if you fall off your skateboard from 10 feet in the air in real life you will not pop back up off the ground and get back on your skateboard, you'll be going to the emergency room."

 

[Magpie]

We're the exact opposite! I'll let my 10yo watch certain R-rated movies, because we watch it together and can discuss everything that's in it. But I won't let him play any M-rated games. None. Period. Because I don't want to have to either play the whole game myself or sit beside him the entire time he's playing it. I can supervise movies, I can't supervise games.

Oh... and, er, I'll frankly explain the sexual innuendo in movies to the kids. They think it's funny. And then they explain it to their friends. I sometimes wonder what the other parents on this street think of us.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

DD10 and DS12 have been watching R rated movies for a couple of years now. BUT, we know what they can and can't handle. R movies that are for sexual content and situations, no they don't watch those. R rated action movies, yes they watch those. R movies for gore, it all depends.

That's how we've handled it too. DS is 13. I think his first R rated movie was the original Matrix, and honestly I don't recall that being gory enough for an R.

 

[graygables]

They are rated "R" for a reason, so no. My oldest DDs didn't see an R-rated movie until they were 17, my youngest are 11 & 9 and they don't see PG-13 movies. We were just talking about how nice it is to have children who are still children and how sad it is that they have to deal with kids who have seen way too much for their years. We were also talking about how irrelevant the ratings system has become b/c parents don't care what their kids see anymore.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

We were also talking about how irrelevant the ratings system has become b/c parents don't care what their kids see anymore.

That's not true. Just because people determine for themselves what they will permit their children to see does not mean they don't care. It just means that they prefer to determine what is or is not appropriate rather than abdicating that responsibility to an organization with arbitrary and arcane criteria.

 

[NHdisneylover]

That's not true. Just because people determine for themselves what they will permit their children to see does not mean they don't care. It just means that they prefer to determine what is or is not appropriate rather than abdicating that responsibility to an organization with arbitrary and arcane criteria.

ITA. For our own personal values, I have a MUCH bigger issue with violence--especailly of the gratuitous or glorified variety, than sex (unless it is sex used for violent/manipulative reasons). This is the opposite of how the ratings board tends to view things. I have walked out on a number of way too violent things that were rated PG. On the other hand, there have been movies (sorry I can't think what at the moment--I am very bad with remembering specific films after the fact) that seemed totally benign to me but were rated R because of a brief scene with some minor nudity (which fit the film and was not sensationelized) or a seen with a gay couple kissing or in a bed together talking or some such (things that had the couple been straight would have not been an issue for the ratings at all) that I have let my kids see in spite of havign an R rating. Personally I pay CLOSE attention to what my children see in movies (and play in games--but we do not have a gaming system at all so that helps there). So, while I feel the rating system is useless I also feel that I am making sure that the kids see what is appropriate for the ages and temperments and OUR family's values.

 

[Passions71203]

My teenager said he'd clean the gutters for porn

 

[Passions71203]

Thankfully we have not had to get into rated R movies yet (Since DS and DD are still young)
But we have let DS watch Harry Potter and POTC. IMHO There are far worse things DS could be seeing. I think it is based on the movie b/c some are worse then others.

 

[suzannen]

Well, add me to the bad parent list because I let my DD at age 12 watch "Die Hard" wth me because she's such a fan of Alan Rickman because of "Harry Potter". I also let her watch "The Terminator" before we went to Universal Studios in Hollywood and rode the ride, so she'd understand it. And, even though she's 13, we are both counting down the days until "Sweeney Todd" since she studied the musical in school and has already seen videos of the Broadway version. Maybe some parents let their kids see certain movies because they do know their own child's maturity level, have checked out content of an R rated movie, and decided it's appropriate for their child to see with them.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

I would allow my DD13 (will be 14 next month) watch a rated R movie WITH me but not on her own if it was something that I knew the content of beforehand and thought she could handle. My DD9 - no way.

 

[Micca]

Our DDs are grown now, but when they were growing up we pretty much let them watch whatever we were watching. Haven't noticed any ill effects.
YMMV

 

[ZachnElli]

No. My oldest is 12, he'll be 13 in April. I wouldn't have a problem with historical movies like The Color Purple, Schlinder's List, etc. But none of us like gory, scary movies. My 12 year old almost pukes when he skins his knee, so that leaves a lot out! LOL! I'm really not kidding, he just can't stand the site of blood. I really hate those movies too, so I guess he gets it from me, but I can look at blood at least. LOL! My 12 year old is home sick and the 2 year old just liked his fingers and touched him and freaked out my 12 year old! Yeah, no R rated movies for him!

 

[Camicar]

Like a couple of pps I okay movies based on content not rating. There are many PG and PG-13 movies which I feel are too violent and/or glorify violence, etc. Then again, there are R rated movies which I have no issues with at all.

That is how we do it too. I also use the Movie Mom reviews at Yahoo to help me determine what is appropriate, which I find far more helpful than asking people I know IRL. For example, dd wanted to see the movie Rent when she was 13 and my 2 coworkers said, absolutely not. Well, we just got it from Netflix and really, I couldn't see why she couldn't see it (I mean, the negative choices people make in that story result in horrible consequences so the movie does teach a lesson) and I regret not seeing it at the theater. And to this day, I don't see why Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion is rated R -- we all love that movie and I just can't see the reason for that rating. OTOH, she was very embarrasssed by the nudity in R-rated Love, Actually and we turned it off.

 

[Iansmom]

I'm a "tough-love" kind of mom.
My son was not allowed to watch R-rated or play M-rated games or purchase parental advisory cd's until he turned 17.

 

[JoyG]

I remember being 14 or 15 and in high school when Stand By Me came out. I really wanted to see it, but my mom wouldn't let me b/c it was rated R.

My kids are too young for R movies (the twins are 7), but as a rule we don't let them watch PG-13 movies yet either. That caused a problem this summer when they reallllllllyyyy wanted to see Transformers and Spiderman 3 in theaters. They love both of those toys.

We finally let them see them when they came on DVD...but dh watched them first. When the boys got to see the movie, DH had the remote in his hand to mute the outbursts of foul language right before they happened and fast forward a couple of scenes.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I remember being 14 or 15 and in high school when Stand By Me came out. I really wanted to see it, but my mom wouldn't let me b/c it was rated R.

My kids are too young for R movies (the twins are 7), but as a rule we don't let them watch PG-13 movies yet either. That caused a problem this summer when they reallllllllyyyy wanted to see Transformers and Spiderman 3 in theaters. They love both of those toys.

We finally let them see them when they came on DVD...but dh watched them first. When the boys got to see the movie, DH had the remote in his hand to mute the outbursts of foul language right before they happened and fast forward a couple of scenes.

OMG I totally did not realize Stand By Me is rated R--but I just checked and you are correct. That is the "family" movie I got from Netflix this week and we watched it last night Perfect example of why I think the ratings baord is not useful--I see nothing wring at all with that film for my 8 and 10 year olds (but WE skipped Transformers because I thought it was far too violent). We all have our own ideas of what is appropriate for our own kids

 

[ReallyGoofy]

Very interesting thread.

Thanks it's been fun to read and follow. We generally do not allow R to be seen by our children but on occasion there are a few that are ok for the older (15 &16 yo) kids, but that is rare and they have been mentioned already. On another note I have never seen a sex scene that was an integral part of the plot that couldn't be deleted, and most of the time made the movie better.