Do you know anyone like this? Vent.

[suejai]

I know I'm better than most people, but I can still pretend I like them.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Yes I know people like this. This is why I do not grow close to many people I know dont flame me. Situations with the word clique, I was attending a church very large and was attending a person bible study at there home ( she only lived One mile from me ) but we never really spoke but as soon as I left the church I got a call one day and she said I need to call you and get to know you. My thought was why call now. You only called to find out why I left for the gossip. Never heard from them again. Another one Just called recently its been almost a year, called left a message to say we havent spoke in a long time we need to talk. Funny its race time I guess they need help again. So alot of things can be a clique. I do not interupt their space. If you wanted to get to know me you would call. By the way I have made the communication on my end but nothing in return so I just let it go. I have learned to enjoy doing things on my own. I am cordial and treat them with respect but that is as far as it goes. They have their circle of friends. So be cordial and let it go. Smile with the new friends you do make. Jo

 

[NotUrsula]

Are you people talking about me AGAIN?

Seriously, you easily could be. I'm face-blind and hard-of-hearing. I'm also shy, and taken together those factors make me a social disaster IRL.

There were times when I failed to recognize my own mother in a crowd.
If I meet relatives at the airport I hold up a sign, not so much because I want to make it easier for them to spot me, but because I know I won't be able to recognize them unless they approach me first. I am CONSTANTLY in the position of being spoken to by people who appear to know me, when I have absolutely no idea of their identities, and half the time I also cannot understand what they are saying,which just makes it all that much worse. I could not pick the parents of any of my childrens' classmates out of a lineup.

There are not many people in this world that I actuallly dislike, but there are some, and I don't feel bad about that. I just don't feel the need to like everyone that I meet. It doesn't mean that I somehow feel superior to that person, it just means that I don't find them congenial company.
I'm civil if I must interact with them, but no more than that.

Given my social impairments, I tend to dislike spending time with really friendly, chatty people simply because they are so chatty; it requires a huge effort for me to understand and keep up with what they are saying sometimes, particularly if they happen to be the physically energetic type who tend to talk and move around a lot at the same time. Also, I probably have to read your lips to adequately understand you, so please don't get insulted if I don't look you in the eye while you are speaking to me.

 

[brockash]

She might be shy.

She might not like you. (And I'm not saying that to be rude.....I don't know you......I'm sure you're a wonderful person.)

She might think you don't like her.

I agree. One of these scenarios sounds right, or the intimidated by you one, but for me even if I don't really like someone; it take a WHOLE lot to not be civil/friendly to them, but if I think someone doesn't like me, then I won't really talk to them unless they talk to me first, just because I figure they don't want to speak to me, so I'm leaning more towards that one.

 

[2Eskiedogs]

I know someone that always calls me by the wrong name. I see this woman at least once a week at the post office, when I buy stamps. She's very friendly, but she always calls me Wendy. My name isn't Wendy.

At x-mas time when I went to buy stamps, there was a long line. She's calling Wendy!, How you doin' Wendy! Merry Christmas Wendy!, I wasn't really paying attention I had my DS(11) with me and we were talking as we were waiting. My son says to me, I think she's talking to you(by then she is pointing to me in line). I turned 3 shades of red, and said my name is Jodi. When it is my turn at the window, what does she call me.....Wendy!

 

[sbell111]

This is probably unique to women because men wouldn't (A) act like this or (B) care. That said....There is a woman who I have known for years. Our kids are in the same grade, play in Jazz Band together, attended Sunday School together. She and I have volunteered together, taught VBS together, played in a bell choir together, attended the same pilates class. You get the picture. As a result, I'd say I know her. We're not friends, but I know her.

And yet, Every. Single. Time I see her, she pretends like she's never layed eyes on me in her life. It is bizarre! I have been friendly, I have been nonchalant, I have even checked the effectiveness of my deoderant. Seriously, I have considered that she may be shy, I was really shy for a long time and probably a lot of people thought I was snobby. But nope, she's been spotted chatting it up with lots of people so I guess she's just snobby. It's so weird, I can't imagine ever being like that. Even if I honestly don't like someone (it happens) I can't NOT be friendly. It's like a reflex.

ok, just a vent I guess. I have plenty of friends, I don't particularly care, but I now just find it awkward to be around her... do you pretend you don't know the person?

Have you considered the possibility that she simply doesn't remember you? To her, you are a random person. Don't let it get you down.

 

[MomofKatie]

I probably seem snotty at times- I am TERRIBLE with names, and I also have this weird "meeting out of context" amnesia. I could, for example, see DD's teacher at school and know her instantly, say hello, etc. A week later, I see her at a pizza parlor. I look, think "Who is that? I feel like I should know who she is... Who is she?!? Oh, no, she's coming this way!" I completely blank on her name, where I know her from- it's embarrassing. So, many times, I'm sure people see me and think I'm being snobby, when in actuality, I am panicked that they will talk to me and I'll have to bluff my way through a conversation.

 

[angie@dvcstore]

She's Properly shy but if not don't waste ur time whos cares about that

 

[Amy&Dan]

I used to know someone like that. Our sons both did karate for about four years, they even invited each other to a few birthday parties. I mean for around 45 minutes 2 times a week this woman and I would sit in the very small parents waiting area. Her husband was nice, she was not. I'd see her at the grocery store, Kohls, wherever and say "hi Karen" and she'd look at me like I was a stranger or a piece of crap. I finally gave up and would just smile. That was years ago (between I'd say 2001-2004 when my son was in karate). My son quit karate and we moved nearby but to a different grocery store region and I never saw her again.

Fast forward to now. She shows up at my gym I have been going to for two years recently. I see her staring at me one day and I think "hmm, that's Karen from Karate". I go abot my business. I see her several more times. Then one day, after I finish working out,I am walking to my car and she hollers up to me "hey, I think I know you". I can't help myself. I look at her for a long 10seconds and say "I am sorry, but I completely don't recognize you". She says "my son and your son did Karate years ago remember?" Now I am pumped. I say "yeah, my son did karate for several years but I am just SOOOOO embarrassed I don't remember you". She tells me her name, her son's name and I say "you know I remember so and so (the son) but I just am so bad that I can't remember you. Good to see you, have a great day".

Dunno know why, but I just gloated all day long after that one.

Some people are truly shy or just distracted. Others, and I think OP your intuition is right on, are just sort of snobbish. They size peopel up, and if for whatever reason they don't see the point, they make no effort to be even friendly or polite.

 

[MinnieTink]

Whaaaat? No I don't know anyone like this. She's weird. I would tell her a different name every time she says Do I know you? just to mess with her!

 

[starrzone]

Yes I know people like this. This is why I do not grow close to many people I know dont flame me. Situations with the word clique, I was attending a church very large and was attending a person bible study at there home ( she only lived One mile from me ) but we never really spoke but as soon as I left the church I got a call one day and she said I need to call you and get to know you. My thought was why call now. You only called to find out why I left for the gossip. Never heard from them again. Another one Just called recently its been almost a year, called left a message to say we havent spoke in a long time we need to talk. Funny its race time I guess they need help again. So alot of things can be a clique. I do not interupt their space. If you wanted to get to know me you would call. By the way I have made the communication on my end but nothing in return so I just let it go. I have learned to enjoy doing things on my own. I am cordial and treat them with respect but that is as far as it goes. They have their circle of friends. So be cordial and let it go. Smile with the new friends you do make. Jo

I agree 100% with this! The most you can do is control your own actions; I've long given up on trying to "make people be my friend". I put out effort on my side, but if they decide not to reciprocate...too bad for them. I'll be polite, and smile and say hi, but if you decide not to do the same...oh, well! I'll stick with the friends I have .