Do you have an embarrassing kitchen story?

[npmommie]

I do!
Yesterday I put this yummy split pea soup in the crock pot, it was in there all afternoon, and I was supposed to turn it off around 11 pm

hubby loves soup and when he saw it said "oh i can take that in my lunch tomorrow!"

so we all go up to bed, I am reading in bed, and about 2 am had not fallen asleep yet, and realized I forgot to turn off the crock pot.

So I go down turn it off, take a sample, yummy.........and proceed to transfer it to a big bowl to cool.
so as I am doing this, you guess , yes............I dropped the crock pot and split pea soup goes all over my kitchen at 2 AM!!!!

omg it looked like the exocist chick threw up all over..........
so obviously poor hubby did not get split pea soup for his lunch box.

 

[FergieTCat]

I once (note the emphasis on once) tried to make chicken soup. I put the chicken carcass and vegetables into a pot with lots of water. When I checked on it, the vegetables had absorbed all the water, so I had very large vegetables and no soup.

Now I just buy Campbells.

 

[jordansmomma]

It was the day after Thanksgiving. My MIL gave me a turkey.
I was excited, I am cooking my first turkey. So I clean out its insides..hehe
I put it in the cooking bag. Place it in a pan. And put it in the oven.
Well a few hours later, black smoke is coming out of my kitchen.
I walk in there were flames & smoke!
I guess that since it was my first turkey, I didn't realize that they were so juicy. The pan I put it in wasn't nearly large enough or it might have been, IF I hadn't put the turkey in the bag with the holes that were poked on the bottom.
Hey I was only 19. I had never cooked a turkey before.
My kids' dad loves to tell this story to them when they are at his house for holidays.

 

[lynxstch]

enough said..lol!

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

That must've been a sight to see, Fergie.

I have caught the toaster on fire with a Pop-Tart.
I have made bread dough that talked to me and threatened to take over my kitchen counter.
The first and last time I ever tried to make a roast turkey, it was dry as heck and the gravy was NASTY. I used an oven bag, but it still turned out very dry. I didn't discover the bag of innards until AFTER I'd cooked it either. Oops. The worst mistake though, was using the bag of gravy that came with the turkey. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever put in my mouth..it tasted like burned library paste. Bleh.
Once..and only once..I tried to make a 'poor man's tuna casserole' which called for milk instead of cream of mushroom soup. Oh..My..God. When it came out of the oven, it looked like somebody had thrown up in my casserole dish. We didn't even taste it..we just threw it away.

I also made the mistake once of trying to make a roux with chicken fat. Yeah..that didn't go over so well either. It was gross and the resulting gravy tasted like burned chicken fat.

 

[Green Tea]

My first year cooking Thanksgiving, I cooked the plastic bag of stuff inside. (in my defense I removed a plastic bag of stuff because EVERYONE knows there is a bag in there. I didn't know there were 2 bags in there) Next year I order the precooked turkey from the grocer. Heating directions say to remove the outer plastic wrap on the bird. I did that. Turns out there were 2 wrappers and I should have removed both layers. I did the reheating in the plastic shrink wrap.

This year I am just going to my sister's.

 

[AprilShowers]

I was trying to help DH carve the turkey. He wanted to transfer it from the roasting pan to the serving tray. Kitchen counters are full full full, so we move next to the sink.....

Whole darned turkey came sliding off the serving tray and right into the sinkful of soapy dishwater!!

We told no one, dried it off, carved it and ate the cleanest turkey ever!!

 

[Straycat]

Many years ago, I heard a tip on television about ketchup bottles. (This was in the day before the bottles were meant to be turned upside down). To make the ketchup come out easy, you would hold the bottle upside down in your hand and swing your arm backwards a full circle or two or three, like a baseball pitcher winding up for a big throw. The theory was that gravity or whatever would cause the ketchup to end up by the lid.

The first time I went to give it a try, I didn't check to make sure the lid was tight. Ketchup went everywhere, on the ceiling, floors, cabinets. It looked like a murder scene. It was embarrasing but funny, I was teased about that for years.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

yes, and it's my addiction to the DIS that caused it.

I was boiling some eggs, started DISing and forgot all about them. After a while, I heard some water running and figured dd was up and washing her hands/face or something. Well, the water sound went on for a long time and I started thinking, what is she doing up there?

Then I heard all these cracks, pops and bangs and I kept thinking "what is she doing up there?"

I started walking upstairs to see what the heck she is doing, and I smell smoke, start thinking "what is she doing up th... Uh-oh! My eggs!"

All the water had boiled off, the pan was burned, the eggs had exploded and there were hard-boiled egg guts all over the kitchen, counter, stovetop, floor, everwhere.

What a mess, but my 5yo loves to hear me tell the story.

 

[chrisw127]

I once made the "Cover Turkey" from Gourmet Magazine one year. It called for a lot of fresh Rosemary and Balsamic vinegar, but I didn't think anything of it and added what it called for. The turkey was fine but the gravy was a horrible, acidic mess. I've never tasted anything so vile.

To make matters worse, I invited a crazy friend who was going throug a divorce and her three children. She spent the entire dinner complaining about "daddy", who was the custodial parent, and all his shortcomings, including his failure to pay for their plane tickets that holiday.

Gag. On both parts.

 

[okeydokey]

Many years ago, I heard a tip on television about ketchup bottles. (This was in the day before the bottles were meant to be turned upside down). To make the ketchup come out easy, you would hold the bottle upside down in your hand and swing your arm backwards a full circle or two or three, like a baseball pitcher winding up for a big throw. The theory was that gravity or whatever would cause the ketchup to end up by the lid.

The first time I went to give it a try, I didn't check to make sure the lid was tight. Ketchup went everywhere, on the ceiling, floors, cabinets. It looked like a murder scene. It was embarrasing but funny, I was teased about that for years.

Great visual!!

 

[kmp1191]

Every time I walk into the kitchen it's embarrassing!

I made SOS for DH one sunday for breakfast right after we were married. I thought mom told me 2 CUPS of flour....she actually said 2 tbls. My sausage gravy was used later for brick morter!

I made a chili recipie my sister gave me using BBQ sauce....she doesn't measure anything, so I guessed. We ordered pizza that night.

I've thrown away more pots than my mother has ever owned because of burning stuff to the bottom of them....most recently - Ramen Noodles. Now my DD9 makes her own....it's just safer.

I'm not allowed to heat garlic bread, or any type of bread in the oven anymore. DH said if the fire dept. comes one more time they will charge us.

BUT....I can make a mean breakfast scramble without leaving any eggshells in the mix, and aside from not having any carrots, the roast I made on Sunday was pretty darn good too!!

I'm not allowed to do laundry either....but that's a whole different thread!

 

[Hedy]

Back in eighth grade, I was mass-making beehive cupcakes for the girl scout state fair. I turned the oven on to preheat it, not realizing mom had put store bought cupcakes in the carton for dinner in there!

Let's just say I make a point of adding checking the oven before preheating when I now cook with the nephews.

 

[liamsaunt]

I once (note the emphasis on once) tried to make chicken soup. I put the chicken carcass and vegetables into a pot with lots of water. When I checked on it, the vegetables had absorbed all the water, so I had very large vegetables and no soup.

Now I just buy Campbells.

This really cracked me up! I wonder what happened?

I have had my share of stupid human tricks in the kitchen. For example, one time I had friends over and I was serving this rustic tomato tart as the main course--it was a freeform tart that was filled with heirloom tomatoes, fresh thyme, and a little garlic, plus mozzarella and parmesean cheeses. Very pretty and simple. Well, when the tart was cooked, I went to take it out of the oven and somehow caught the edge of the baking pan on the oven rack. The entire pan flipped up and smashed into the oven. The tart went everywhere, all through the oven. Cheese dripped down into the broiler vents, pieces of the crust stuck to the oven racks, tomatoes smashed on to the oven floor....all creating a ruined, smoky mess. I was horrified, but then I realized that there was nothing I could do but laugh. I closed the oven, poured everyone another glass of wine, and served salad and bread for dinner.

I found bits of cheese in odd crevices in that oven for about a year after that incident.

 

[Katieinwonderland]

When I was 15, I went to a high school in Stratford upon Avon, the town Shakespeare was born in...part of our school was actually made up of a building he and his family lived in...this part of the school included the kitchens.

Nobody ever told me (and I missed that physics class) that when you add cold water to very hot oil...it can catch on fire. Cue me washing my vegetables to make a stir fry for cookery class, not drying them and dumping them into a wok full of bubbling hot oil. The whole thing caught fire, which then ignited the gas cooktops and the whole building had to be evacuated. After that, the Shakespeare trust asked that the school moved the kitchens to another building, causing them to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on remodelling.

Do I win?

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

I didn't know that would happen! Wow..now I know and knowing is half the battle (GI JOE American HERO!)

 

[AKBAFB]

I had put some oil in the bottom of a pot - I was going to make beef stew and needed to first sear the stew meat - and then my husband came home. We started talking about the work that day and I forgot about the oil until I see flames and dark black, thick smoke coming out of the pot.

I managed to remember that you had to smother a pan fire, not water it out, so I grabbed the lid of the pot and, because I was scared of the flames, sort of tried to throw the lid onto the pot. Needless to say, that didn't work, the flames were getting bigger, my daughter (only child at the time) was crying, and the microwave above the stove was starting to melt! My husband grabbed some pot holders and took the pot out to the driveway and let it burn itself out.

What a disaster that was! We had to get a new microwave (and a new stew pot) and the smoke left a blanket of black soot all over everything in the kitchen! Needless to say, we went out to eat that night!

 

[eliza61]

I do!
Yesterday I put this yummy split pea soup in the crock pot, it was in there all afternoon, and I was supposed to turn it off around 11 pm

hubby loves soup and when he saw it said "oh i can take that in my lunch tomorrow!"

so we all go up to bed, I am reading in bed, and about 2 am had not fallen asleep yet, and realized I forgot to turn off the crock pot.

So I go down turn it off, take a sample, yummy.........and proceed to transfer it to a big bowl to cool.
so as I am doing this, you guess , yes............I dropped the crock pot and split pea soup goes all over my kitchen at 2 AM!!!!

omg it looked like the exocist chick threw up all over..........
so obviously poor hubby did not get split pea soup for his lunch box.

Yep,
The time I set my kitchen on fire trying to pop popcorn the old fashion way. With kernels and oil. I use to have curtains right next to my stove, one day I had a free evening (no kids, no dh) so I decide to pop popcorn and watch "Steel Magnolias" . Well some how I forgot to put the lid on the pot and I left the kitchen to do some thing to the vcr and popcorn started to pot, popped out of the pan, oil and kernels went every where. caught the curtains on fire, next thing I know, I'm standing outside watching fireman hose down my kitchen.

Needless to say I'm strictly microwave.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

The last time I attempted to pop popcorn that way I burned the popcorn and had a stink in my kitchen that seemed to hang around for quite awhile.

Now I am strictly a microwave or air-popper kind of person.

 

[JoiseyMom]

1) Cheesecake Flambe anyone?? I have this great recipe from my friend's mom...makes the most awesome Italian cheesecake. Well the knob on the oven was old(you couldn't read what it said)...and umm...and I put it on broil instead of bake by mistake. My older boys and DH NEVER let me live this down. I have made it successfully since then.

2) New stove anyone?? I set my oven on fire...I was broiling hamburgers and the grease started a fire. Turned it off, but sill called the fire dept. There was nothing to put out by the time they go there..but they set up the BIG fans to get the smoke out of my house. I did get to buy a brand new stove! I get teased about this one too!!

3) Cheesecake time again!! I was carrying it to the oven, and the bottome wasn't locke in the springform pan . Cheesecake batter all over my floor!! I didn't make one for awhile after this. Can you say I am So careful now?? I always put it on a baking sheet and carry it to the oven like that from now on!!

4) Last but not least. I was making mandel bread for Passover. It was a small loaf loaded with chocolate chips. When cut it looks like biscotti, but not as hard (unless I would cut it and bake it some more). Well I went to wrap a loaf to go to the in-laws, and it broke in half, and fell all over my hand...HOT MELTED CHOCOLATE CHIPS!!! OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't make that for awhile too!

And yes, I still cook and bake...all the time. But the few mistakes you make your loving family NEVER lets you live it down!!