Do you factor in financial issues before getting married?

[lowie]

Not only financial but also previous marriages and kids. Some people come with far too much baggage for me.

i try not to consider children as 'baggage'
when my now dh and i were engaged i had a child and debt. we bought our house right before the wedding (one week) and it went only in his name. over the years we straightened out my credit and i now have an enviable credit score.

 

[minnierocks]

It's not necessarily a bad thing to take on the debt, if your other is willing to deal with the behavior that created that debt. If you're willing to work on that with your significant other, then OK...If that person is not willing to change, then move on...

 

[mickeyfan2]

i try not to consider children as 'baggage'

It is more in relationship to the other parent and all the "problems" that can arise over custody, visitation, planning, support payments etc.

 

[JayCT]

I definitely would recommend considering financial compatability when considering marriage. I have seen marriages break up over this. My cousin and her husband split primarily because he was careful with money and she wasn't. He loved her (I believe he still does) but he couldn't live with someone that spent money so freely and she with someone so careful. Jay

 

[cardaway]

It is more in relationship to the other parent and all the "problems" that can arise over custody, visitation, planning, support payments etc.

I agree. Support issues can get especially ugly.

 

[DISUNC]

Would you have second thoughts before marrying someone w/ credit issues or other responsibilities that will affect your financial future? (Bankruptcy, IRS trouble, child support/alimony payments, etc)

YES​

...This is a MAJOR factor! Love fades, Bills are FOREVER!

 

[ceiligh1]

I guess it depends on the financial issue. My DH and I have always felt the same way about money, except I tend to want to save everything so he tries to be the voice of moderation. I grew up with a thight money situation and I dont want to go back so even going out and buying a new pair of pants is hard for me to do.
I think you look at the issue, the cause of the issue, and see if it has been addressed. I also think the most important thing is not the issue itself but how each of you spend/save/emotionaly feel about money. I think if one of you loves to spend and the other save it is going to be much harder to get along even if no financial issues arise due to the difference. Just my two cents.

 

[EthansMom]

Would you have second thoughts before marrying someone w/ credit issues or other responsibilities that will affect your financial future? (Bankruptcy, IRS trouble, child support/alimony payments, etc) Or do you just accept whatever problems they have and go on?

I wouldn't be so concerned over the person's level of debt as I would be about how they (mis)use and view money.

True example:

My former fiance was a great guy; very nice, caring, and hardworking. But the moment he had two cents to rub together, he spent it. He never had any thought for his financial future. He'd work hard all summer and then, knowing he would need money for Spring tuition, he'd go have his car painted at Maaco (cheap paint job that peeled in a couple months). There was more than one time that he had to call his Dad to have money wired to cover rent and/or tuition... always at the last minute. Sure, he didn't have any debt, but he was TERRIBLE with money.

When I met my DH, he had over $50k in debt, all of which was student loans. He was also a great guy and hardworking. However, if DH had any extra money, he paid it towards his outstanding debt. He contributed to his 401k at work and was putting money aside in savings. DH had a pretty substantial amount of debt, but he was GOOD with his money and was intent on improving his financial future.

Don't forget... most people cite FINANCIAL issues as a major contributor to their divorce.