Do you ever just want to pull your hair out and scream???

Disney1fan2002

<font color=red>Like OMG the TF is SOO psyched to
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Jun 21, 2002
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Just a vent here, because I can't vent to my DH, it's HIS mother.

My MIL is a nice enough person, but I can only take her in tiny incriments. She lies. There I said it. She just makes things up. It has always annoyed me, because there is never a reason for her to lie. She will say something that is no where near the truth, just to add to a conversation. If that makes sense. She also lies to make a story sound good.

You would think after 14 years, I would be used to it. Noooo....so last night she said something off the cuff, that I knew for a fact was not true, so I tried to correct her. We ended up kind of arguing back and forth. DH was no help, because he "couldn't recall".

She bought a new car. Yes, the car she owns now, she has had for many years, but I know she bought it in 1999. I also know it was not brand new when she bought it. Now, I met her for the 1st time when my oldest DS was just 3 days old. (long story, but Dh, then my BF hadn't bothered to introduce me to his family). She came over to my apartment. This was in 1996, and she had a tan station wagon. She had that car for at least two more years. I know this for a fact.

Last night she was telling me she bought a new car. She then states.."I haven't bought a car since 1994."

Um, no I correct her. It was after 1996, when I saw the tan station wagon, and I told her I believed it was in 1999. She then insisted it was when her mother died in '95. (hmm, what happened to '94?) I was going crazy, because I never met her until 1996, and she had the station wagon. She said the car was a '94. So what? I told her she didn't buy it brand new.

Grrrr, my DH takes after her. Sometimes they argue with me, and make me feel like I am going crazy. So I tell her she needs to get out the bill of sale and that will tell her exactly when she bought it. Of course she doesn't think she still has it. Yeah right. This woman saves every piece of paper that crosses her lap.

Not asking for any advice here or anything. I just want to vent. Gritting my teeth while thinking about it all day has been driving me crazy. I want to go to her house and dig up the bill of sale just so I can say..See, I told you!

One thing that irks me byond belief is when someone tells me I am wrong when I know I am NOT, but I have no way to prove it.
 
LOL this is the DIS , you can't just vent. You are about to analyzed, hang on for the ride. You are about to have your relationship with DH and MIL analyzed lol.
 
Can you be more specific on what you mean by your husband takes after her. I hope you do not mean in lying. That would be more of my issue than rather arguing with the woman. So not worth it. You cant control her actions only you can. She is just trying to get a rise out of you. So if you dont argue it will enentually stop because she are not reacting to her. Smile at her and move on. That will drive her more batty than you know. Jo
 

Ummmm...Who cares if it's new or not?

Our family calls any purchase of a car "Buying a new car" even if it's a Used car or a new one.

From our perspective...It's new to our possession.

Lighten up a bit francis
 
A friend of mine is an "embellisher" when it comes to stories. She'll even embellish stories she is telling ME about something I was there for. It's maddening, but I just laugh at her on the inside.
 
Just a vent here, because I can't vent to my DH, it's HIS mother.

My MIL is a nice enough person, but I can only take her in tiny incriments. She lies. There I said it. She just makes things up. It has always annoyed me, because there is never a reason for her to lie. She will say something that is no where near the truth, just to add to a conversation. If that makes sense. She also lies to make a story sound good.

You would think after 14 years, I would be used to it. Noooo....so last night she said something off the cuff, that I knew for a fact was not true, so I tried to correct her. We ended up kind of arguing back and forth. DH was no help, because he "couldn't recall".

She bought a new car. Yes, the car she owns now, she has had for many years, but I know she bought it in 1999. I also know it was not brand new when she bought it. Now, I met her for the 1st time when my oldest DS was just 3 days old. (long story, but Dh, then my BF hadn't bothered to introduce me to his family). She came over to my apartment. This was in 1996, and she had a tan station wagon. She had that car for at least two more years. I know this for a fact.

Last night she was telling me she bought a new car. She then states.."I haven't bought a car since 1994."

Um, no I correct her. It was after 1996, when I saw the tan station wagon, and I told her I believed it was in 1999. She then insisted it was when her mother died in '95. (hmm, what happened to '94?) I was going crazy, because I never met her until 1996, and she had the station wagon. She said the car was a '94. So what? I told her she didn't buy it brand new.

Grrrr, my DH takes after her. Sometimes they argue with me, and make me feel like I am going crazy. So I tell her she needs to get out the bill of sale and that will tell her exactly when she bought it. Of course she doesn't think she still has it. Yeah right. This woman saves every piece of paper that crosses her lap.

Not asking for any advice here or anything. I just want to vent. Gritting my teeth while thinking about it all day has been driving me crazy. I want to go to her house and dig up the bill of sale just so I can say..See, I told you!

One thing that irks me byond belief is when someone tells me I am wrong when I know I am NOT, but I have no way to prove it.


That would drive me crazy too. My husband, though, has this incredible memory. He corrects his parents now about things that happened when he was a kid. The thing is, he can prove it by reciting certain things that happened on certain dates. Makes me crazy too. I'd just like a happy medium.
 
If I understand correctly, it's not so much "was the car new or not", but the principle of the thing, yes? I understand your frustration, but I've turned it into a game. When someone says something that sounds completely unbelievable I like to bring it up again at a later date and see if they have the same story. It's amazing what people can come up with! I never call them on it, cause life's too short, and maybe I'm just a little mean, but it's great entertainment. Sometimes it's something as simple as, "I'm off for the whole summer... I'll be bored to tears!" Then I asked that same lady how she'd handle the boring summer and she said, "Oh, I can always find things to do!" Silly. Try to smile, my dear, and take it all with a grain of salt. Then come here and vent so we can all laugh along with you! :lmao:
 
A friend of mine is an "embellisher" when it comes to stories. She'll even embellish stories she is telling ME about something I was there for. It's maddening, but I just laugh at her on the inside.

My mother does the same thing - and not even just stories, but she completely over exaggerates everything. My parents moved to Florida almost 2 years ago, and now every time she visits, she complains about how cold Iowa is and how perfect it is in Florida. She came to visit last year in August -- we were outside for 10 hours in 90-95 degree heat for a music festival, and she was saying she wished she brought a sweater. :confused3 And no, she's not saying this stuff to be funny. She just completely exaggerates and embellishes on everything she says... SO annoying.
 
My FIL likes to make stuff up to make his life more interesting. I guess there is a bit of truth in most of his stories but from a grain the man can make a mountain. Usually he doesn't do it so much within the family but it becomes uncomfortably clear when the family meets with his friends because all sorts of weird stuff comes up. Mostly, I like the guy. I've learned that it's not worth challenging these personalities because they are sort of fragile. Why not just let her spin her yarns and enjoy them for what they are worth?
 
A friend of mine is an "embellisher" when it comes to stories. She'll even embellish stories she is telling ME about something I was there for. It's maddening, but I just laugh at her on the inside.

This is the best response because she isn't going to change. I promise, she isn't going to change. I know it's maddening but SHE ISN"T GOING TO CHANGE! That wasn't for your purpose....mine. :)
 
I can beat that.
I grew up with this girl when I was younger. I moved away for a few years and found her online FINALLY. We used to play together when we were 10.

I was Born in august 1993 and she in January 1994.
She is a grade younger than I too.
So, her birthday comes around. I am 15 and she is 14 turning 15.
I say "Happy fifteenth!!" and what does she say? "Oh, no, I am turning 16"
....

"But, when we were younger I was always older than you."
"No, you weren't"
"..but when I was little and you had birthday partys you were always younger than me"
"Did I? I guess I am younger"

..doesn't even know her own birthday:sad2:
 
My ex husband does this. It used to drive me crazy. The sky could be the clearest blue you've ever seen, and he'd swear up, down and sideways it was raining. And he could be outside the whole time.

I now call him on everything, all the time. Even if I'm not sure he's lying, I assume he is. If nothing else, it's funny to see them stumble. You just have to be nice and subtle about it. Help them embelish if needed.
 
LOL this is the DIS , you can't just vent. You are about to analyzed, hang on for the ride. You are about to have your relationship with DH and MIL analyzed lol.

:lmao: LOL! I realize this, I am just hoping people just share similar stories. I like to feel like I am not alone in this craziness.

Ummmm...Who cares if it's new or not?

Lighten up a bit francis

I pointed out to her that it was not new, because in her defense of when she bought it (saying '94) she said it was a '94. Just because it is a '94 doesn't mean she bought it in '94. She did buy it used. She kept insisting that she bought it in '94, then she'd say '95. Well, if she had THAT car in '96 when I met her, then why do I know she had the station wagon, that she insist she got rid of when she bought the car she has now.

Anyway, can you see how I was going round and round? I wanted to pull my hair out. We were at my DS's baseball game and I had to get up and walk around.
 
My mom and MIl do this but heck, they in their 70's and 80's. Neither do it to lie, they just get confused. It isn't worth an argument, IMO.
 
I used to work with a guy who was like OP's MIL. The worst part was, he would get mad if you tried to tell him he was wrong even a little bit and he would talk FOREVER so he would:
1. Say things that were lies
2. It was impossible to stop him
3. He would say these things and talk forever about them!

Urgh.

Needless to say, no one really loved working with him.
 
My inlaws do not lie...but otherwise I am right there with you. I don't get them and I am done trying. There is some back story and the infamous three sides. But I find them extremely insulting at times with their couldn't care less attitude. We are hosting something for our 2 month old this weekend and noone can be bothered to show. Dh's parents might come if his dad is feeling better and that is fine. But his brother who lives locally won't come but might get together for the celebration after. Wth????
 
I seem to be in the minority here but this is not something I would even argue about with my MIL. I might say that I remembered it differently but that would be as far as i would go. There is no way that I would attempt to correct her memory or to ask her to drag out proof on something as trivial as a date of purchase.

I will admit that I might get frustrated once in a while but in my world this is petty stuff and I would never back anyone, especially my DH mother into a corner in order to prove myself right and prove her wrong. I won't do this to my DH either adn I hope that he never feels the need to do it to me or to a member inmy family.
 
I don't know if this would make her a liar. If she was lying should would purposely know the date of the sale and tell you differently.....this is more like a bad memory thing.....
 
My mother's version of reality is quite a bit different from everyone else's. I don't think she was always like this but I've noticed it a great deal more since she turned 70. She gets extremely angry if anyone questions her version. We just let it go; not a big deal.
 


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