My cousin has been married for 15 years, and has an 8 yr old son. Her husband works every day, is very involved in their son's activities. He can be fun to be around, but is generally a serious person, he doesnt laugh a lot. He doesn't hit them, or belittle them, or humiliate them.
But, he flies into rages. Over nothing, a drink spilled on the carpet, their son not doing what he's told the instant he's told to do it, and I mean literally the instant. Like he said he doesn't call them names, but he yells and swears. (she says he talks like a sailor all the time, so the swearing doesn't count.) The yelling will go on and one for 10-15 minutes. She says he's never hit her, but will occasionally grab her arm or neck if she tries to walk away.
Their son loves his dad very much. He would be devastated if they separated.
The question is, is this abusive? She has pretty much gotten used to it over the years, but now she's wondering. Remember when that tape of Christian Bale came out last year, where he was screaming at the cameraman or whoever, and everyone thought it was so awful? She didn't see what the big deal was, it didnt sound unusual to her. Now , my dad was the same way, so it didnt seem like a huge deal to me either, but she says that maybe we are just desensitized.
So what do you think? Abuse that would be harmful for a child to grow up with, or normal temper tantrums?
But, he flies into rages. Over nothing, a drink spilled on the carpet, their son not doing what he's told the instant he's told to do it, and I mean literally the instant. Like he said he doesn't call them names, but he yells and swears. (she says he talks like a sailor all the time, so the swearing doesn't count.) The yelling will go on and one for 10-15 minutes. She says he's never hit her, but will occasionally grab her arm or neck if she tries to walk away.
Their son loves his dad very much. He would be devastated if they separated.
The question is, is this abusive? She has pretty much gotten used to it over the years, but now she's wondering. Remember when that tape of Christian Bale came out last year, where he was screaming at the cameraman or whoever, and everyone thought it was so awful? She didn't see what the big deal was, it didnt sound unusual to her. Now , my dad was the same way, so it didnt seem like a huge deal to me either, but she says that maybe we are just desensitized.
So what do you think? Abuse that would be harmful for a child to grow up with, or normal temper tantrums?
to you both. By posting the question here, I think you already know the answer. Please encourage your cousin to get some counseling and help in this area to help keep this family safe. The husband and father in this case can be helped if he faces his behaviors and is willing to change.
