Do you consider "Mothers Day Out" extra curricular?

[happybratpack]

A friend got a call from his ex today stating she was putting their 2 year old in Mothers Day Out next fall and he needed to pay half of the $140 a week it will cost since it's extra curricular. Their decree states that she is responsible for day care and they split extra curricular activities. (which I assume to be sports, extra classes, Girl Scouts, etc) The 2yo doesn't attend a school or any other program, he would be going to Mothers Day Out in lieu of staying home with a sitter.

She kind of beats him down on things - she's super aggressive and he's Mr. Passive but he pays over $1400 a month in child support plus health insurance now and she's insisting he pay this on top of the basics. I just see this as being day care and it being an expense that would come out of regular child support and not in addition to. Maybe I'm wrong - what do you consider it?

 

[mskay]

I don't know the legality of it, but for the purposes that you described MDO does not sound like extra-curricular. Since it's taking the place of a sitter, I would consider it as such. Your friend should probably check with his lawyer.

 

[pw2pp]

Why doesn't she just go out when HE has the kid?
I don't think that he should pay for that.

 

[4greatboys]

That is child care and if she is responsible for it then she needs to take care of it. Also for MDO $140 week is pretty steep. Is it $140 a month? My ds was in MDO and it was $130 monthly twice a week.

 

[mickeyboat]

I would say it is extra-curricular as well. Does the mom still have to pay the sitter when the kid is not there? (We pay by the week, regardless of whether the child attends). Isn't Mother's Day Out more of a socialization program for the kid than a child care idea? If so, it's extra-curricular.

Denae

 

[Christine]

I know a stay-at-home mom that did do a true Mother's Day Out. She took her 2 year old up to the church once a week for 3 hours while she just relaxed. That is Mother's Day Out.

$140 a week is daycare. How many days is this, hours, etc., and what is she doing during this time. If it is because she can go to work, then it is not a Mother's Day Out.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

I just cant believe that price either, when we lived in texas our mothers day out was only 2 days a week. For the little kids I would say it was definetely day care, but if you want to get really picky you might consider it extra curricular like a play day type of thing because all they did was play, but my older ds who was like in the 4 year old class it was definetely more like a pre school learning type of experience. We had another friends whose son went to one that was all just strictly playing, no learning academically and she used it for the socialization aspect too. Guess it looks like they will be drawing the line in the sand, sadly, hope the little one is not a pawn in all of this, sad situation. Hope it all works out peacefully for all those involved.

 

[KristiKelly]

I would think for $140 a week, that's full time day care. Mother's Day Out is usually only 1-2 mornings a week and in our area is only about $70 a month. I would tell your friend to look into what the ex is doing, call the MDO facility and find out what she is wanting him to pay for. That sounds really high for MDO, it's possible she's telling him $140 just to squeeze a little more money out of him.

Now is MDO "extra curricular"? I look at it as a break 1-2 days a week for a few hours for mom to get things done around the house.

Now if he's paying her $1400 a month, does she work and need day care? I would think daycare would be included into the child support.

 

[disykat]

If she is at work while her daughter is there - then it's daycare. He needs to get something in writing about the amount of extra-curricular stuff (and the definition!) - because $140 a week for a two year old's extra-curricular activities is the craziest thing I've ever heard.

 

[jgmklmhem]

IMO if it is for her to get a break from the child to do whatever it would be her responsibility to take care of it. Does he have to pay for a sitter if she wants to go out on a date....probably not. A mother's day out program is similar. It is more for the mother than the child so I would think she should pay. Now if it is daycare and he has to pay part of daycare then so be it.

 

[Caradana]

I'm thinking that it's got to be $140/month, not $140/week, right? I mean, $140 a week, 10 kids, and whomever is running this thing is netting $72,800/yr on one day of work a week. Dude, we should all run MDOs at that price.

A judge decreed that he pay $1400/mo in child care; he's financially above water. He'll have to decide if it's worth the money he'll pay his lawyer to fight another $70/month. The lawyer will cost him something like $150-300/HR.

If I were him I might just pay it ...
He made this baby with her. She might be too aggressive, he might be too passive, but he liked her well enough to sleep with her at one point, maybe he can dig deep and reconnect with some of those feelings, derive some goodwill for her here.

 

[happybratpack]

Thanks for all the replies. He called and got a little more information from her...it is $140 a week and apparently it's full time. She is calling it "Mothers Day Out" but I think it's a regular day care facility. She is still paying the sitter to pick him up from this program at 4 and keep him till 6:30 so that's her basis of saying it's extra curricular.

She is insistent that he pay half and he told her he felt like that is part of her child support for daily care while she's at work. She then threatened the usual court, attorney routine. I hate situations like this, he's been a nervous wreck all day because she is really harassing/threatening on the phone and IMO he's too nice of a guy. On days like this I want to tell people to THINK THINK THINK before you have children with someone and decide if you want to deal with them in a bad situation for the rest of your lives.

Anyway - thanks for the input and advice.

 

[christinadei]

IMO if it is for her to get a break from the child to do whatever it would be her responsibility to take care of it. Does he have to pay for a sitter if she wants to go out on a date....probably not.

That's exactly how I feel. If it's daycare for her to work, then she's responsible, as per the court papers. If it's for her to relax or do anything else but work, it's her problem. It's not like she's signed up for ballet. Something like that he'd have to pay for, but for them to watch the little girl for her time, no, he shoudln't be responsible and he shouldn't pay it. Let her take him to court and explain that one to the judge. HE'll probably laugh right in her face.

 

[cl1067]

To me then its daycare. I think he should let her go through attorney channels. Sometimes things are worth fighting. If she is more aggressive, she may just think that she is able to kind of bully him into it.

 

[christinadei]

Thanks for all the replies. He called and got a little more information from her...it is $140 a week and apparently it's full time. She is calling it "Mothers Day Out" but I think it's a regular day care facility. She is still paying the sitter to pick him up from this program at 4 and keep him till 6:30 so that's her basis of saying it's extra curricular.

She is insistent that he pay half and he told her he felt like that is part of her child support for daily care while she's at work. She then threatened the usual court, attorney routine. I hate situations like this, he's been a nervous wreck all day because she is really harassing/threatening on the phone and IMO he's too nice of a guy. On days like this I want to tell people to THINK THINK THINK before you have children with someone and decide if you want to deal with them in a bad situation for the rest of your lives.

Anyway - thanks for the input and advice.

That is defiantely daycare and he should simply refuse to pay it. Let her take him to court, then she'll just lose, the judge already said that she's responsible for child care. $140 a week and then she has to pay someone to watch her after that? That is outrageous. The $1400 she gets from him a month is intended to cover this.

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

If it was $140 a month, I would say "buck up and pay it" but it looks like she is putting her in "daycare" and calling it "extra curricular" and for 140 a week...THAT is daycare! That is what I paid for my DD's preschool

 

[mickeyboat]

I recant my previous statement. It's definitely day care.

Denae

 

[BrinxFam]

For what it's worth, I work at a MDO program and it is daycare. Boy, I wish we could charge $140/week then we could get a nice raise. Our program is 5 hours a day during the school year and parents may choose up to 2 days a week. During the summer we only have a 1 day a week program. Since we are not a state certified program we have to follow a time guideline. While we do have some educational activities we are mostly providing a safe and loving environment for parents to feel comfortable leaving their children while they do what they need to do. We tell people we are not a preschool. Sounds like someone is just being greedy!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

In that case--it is not extra-curricular...she needs to suck it up and pay up her self.

 

[Talking Hands]

Mother's Day out is a few hours a day, 1 or 2 days per week. Cost at my church is $25 registration and $10/session and you have the choice of 1 or 2 days weekly. So after registration and assuming 2 days per week it would be at max $80 to $100 monthly. That would be extra curricular.
$140 a week is more in line with fulltime daycare.