Do you ATTEND kids' parties w/ your child?

[ChrisnSteph]

Most of the parties for my kids have been drop-off, but occasionally the parents are invited too. When I've had parties, I always make it clear that any parents are welcome to stay and party with us!

 

[Magalex]

I have a 5 yr old DS. When I call to RSVP I always ask the hostess if they would like any help from the parents. I noticed on one of the invitations the hostess wrote parents welcomed to stay at party. That is a hint the hostess would like at least one parent to stay. He attended one drop off party at a pizza place. I was comfortable with that because the mother was the head of the day care/preschool my DS attended. She knew what she was doing. My DH politely asked if they needed help anyways when he dropped him off.

 

[beattyfamily]

I stayed until kindergarten. Now I drop off.

I would absolutely stay for a swimming party though.

 

[SeeDisney]

I too would be nervous about dropping off my 3rd or 2nd grader for a pool party. Unless I know the parents well with well supervision.

This past Sunday, for my DD 8's b'day party, I rented a super duper water slide inflatable and IT WAS A HUGE HIT!!! No exxageration, 4 parents all said "I've got to have one of these for ____ so-so's birthday. The kids never let the inflatable for 2 1/2 hours.

Most of the parents left too which I didn't mind. And the 3 parents that stayed, they helped served the food, etc.

Good luck.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I have never stayed nor do I intend to. I would not be happy if adults stayed at a kids party if I had not invited them, I would not have planned any food or accomadations for them. My DS 1rst grade just went to a pool party at a hotel and not one parent stayed no one even offered or asked. Boy I guess if I move to a different part of the country I will be shocked. What do you guys do just invite yourselves in? Most parties around here you drop off at the door and do not even go further than the door way.

I wouldn't have a problem with a parent not staying and you are probably an ok person, but if I felt like a parent was uncomfortable with me staying, especially if my child hadn't even been in their home and wanted me to stay, I would consider it a red flag and wonder if there was something to hide. Again, probably nothing to hide in most cases, but my parent radar would go up.

And in the case of my son, if he's more comfortable with me staying, why not? I have older children (oldest is in college) and I know he will be out of this stage soon without me rushing him, so why push him if I don't have to (ie, another engagement that I have to go to, etc).

 

[cotomom]

Thanks everyone for your comments thus far.

Reason I brought this up is we're having a swim party for my son's 7th birthday. We've invited 20 kids and have 6 adults already planning on staying for supervision (my family members). My DH and I are both CPR and emergency trained.

I'm wondering how many parents will want to stay (which isn't a problem at all for me) but also how many other children/siblings will show up. If everyone brought their siblings, I'd have well over 60 children and that is just NOT ok for safety reasons obviously. The pool fence will be down and I'd be a super-nervous wreck with toddlers, the pool is no where big enough, etc.

Any words of wisdom or advice for if and when those Moms call asking if their other children can attend? How about any that just show up on the day of?

 

[binny]

I wouldn't have a problem with a parent not staying and you are probably an ok person, but if I felt like a parent was uncomfortable with me staying, especially if my child hadn't even been in their home and wanted me to stay, I would consider it a red flag and wonder if there was something to hide. Again, probably nothing to hide in most cases, but my parent radar would go up.

And in the case of my son, if he's more comfortable with me staying, why not? I have older children (oldest is in college) and I know he will be out of this stage soon without me rushing him, so why push him if I don't have to (ie, another engagement that I have to go to, etc).

Most of my kids' friends parents are my friends ( or at least people I know enough to chat with) so I often stay and chat. I have fun with it! Most of the time we're put to work which is fantastic! Sometimes I drop off but thats pretty rare really and would likley never be at a pool party.

 

[redshoes]

My boys are still little (2 and just turned 4) so a drop off party is really not an issue at this point.
However, for my own reasons a pool party is probably one of the only parties that I would stay at until my boys were much much older. When I was in high school my dad's family had a huge pool party for a family event. There were a ton of adults there to watch all of my younger cousins. My family didnt go (we had some other event going on), but we got a phone call that night saying that one of my little cousins had drowned that afternoon. It was one of those moments that forever changed me, I'm overly cautious with young kids and water because of that accident. This was simply an accident where it didnt matter how many adults were around -it was just a freak thing. However, with all that knowledge kids and water still makes me very nervous. I would hope that if one of my boys would get invited to a pool party and I wanted to stay that the hostess would be okay with that.
If you're having a pool party, be prepared that you might have a parent like me who worries about her kids and might want to stay. For me it's nothing personal against the hostess- it's just one of those life experiences that changed me.

 

[becker1123]

OP, since it's a pool party, I would let parents who want to stay with their kids stay and help supervise. As for siblings, I think it's okay to tell the parents that you're sorry, but because it's a pool party that requires extreme supervision, you can't have siblings because there would be too many kids in the pool. It really is a safety issue and I'm sure parents would understand if they think about it that way.

My girls are close in age, and some times both are invited to a party, but that is usually only when it's a mutual friend, maybe a really close friend that they both know. But sometimes it's for a friend in their class and the other doesn't know the birthday child and is not invited. I would never insist that just because one is invited they both have to go.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

cotomom, I think it's ok to tell people that you have to limit the number of kids due to the size of the pool. It's fine to have adults staying to supervise, but not with the younger sibs.

 

[parrothead365]

I always took DS when he was little but stopped when I found out they wouldn't let me play any games.

 

[Snow Brite]

This is one of the challenges of parenting children with "invisible" disabilities. I usually do stay for a party unless i am really familiar with the parent and they have been around my child before and are comfortable. With my third grader now, I will drop him off unless it is something potentially dangerous like the go-cart party he got invited to or a pool party. If the other parent tells me I can go or asks why I am still there...lol...I just explain that I am a freaky over-protective mom and roll my eyes. This usually elicits a laugh and an invitation for a diet coke. I feel awkward sometimes and silly others, but I just know from experience its better for me to stay.

 

[Evil Queen]

I usually stay. But I'm good friends with most of the parents, so we enjoy each other's company. And my DS is just coming out of 4th grade.

 

[aprilgail2]

I have never stayed nor do I intend to. I would not be happy if adults stayed at a kids party if I had not invited them, I would not have planned any food or accomadations for them. My DS 1rst grade just went to a pool party at a hotel and not one parent stayed no one even offered or asked. Boy I guess if I move to a different part of the country I will be shocked. What do you guys do just invite yourselves in? Most parties around here you drop off at the door and do not even go further than the door way.

Well the kicker is that you also have to order food for all these parents that stay! I know at chuck e cheese the server came up to me asking how many pies and sodas did I want to order for the adults..so the price of the party doubles once you have to start feeding the adults! It is nice now tha tthey are in first grade the parents just drop off so you don't have to pay to feed them!

 

[momof2inPA]

A five year old drowned at a pool party near my house this winter. The parents dropped her off, and there were lifeguards, but you can never be too careful around pools. I would never drop my kids off at a pool party. Actually, most of the parents stay at the parties my K and 3rd grade sons attend.

 

[sunlver]

With my almost 7 yr old daughter, every party she has been invited too, I have stayed. Mostly though, I know the parents. I do not feel its right to just leave them. I know most parents hosting the party dont care. But, the hostess always has so much to doo, I figure a little extra supervision never hurt. Now with my almost 12 yr old son, he doesnt go to many parties. The last few, I did not go.
My kids all have summer birthdays. We always have pool parties in the back yard(Above ground). I tell all parents they are welcome to stay, always enough food for everybody.A lot of the parents are my friends, so they stay anyways. We always have tons of supervision for the pool parties, and a couple adults go in the pool with the kids.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Well the kicker is that you also have to order food for all these parents that stay! I know at chuck e cheese the server came up to me asking how many pies and sodas did I want to order for the adults..so the price of the party doubles once you have to start feeding the adults! It is nice now tha tthey are in first grade the parents just drop off so you don't have to pay to feed them!

If buying a couple pizzas is going to be a problem, then the parties can be held on non meal times. I often do that, not to avoid buying food for any adults (since they don't usually stay), but because it saves money for the older kids, who eat so much food.

 

[diznygirl]

Well the kicker is that you also have to order food for all these parents that stay! I know at chuck e cheese the server came up to me asking how many pies and sodas did I want to order for the adults..so the price of the party doubles once you have to start feeding the adults! It is nice now tha tthey are in first grade the parents just drop off so you don't have to pay to feed them!

But in some places you can't just drive your kid all the way out to a place, and then leave them, and come back later. It's just too far. The closest Chuck E. Cheese is about 30 minutes away. I'm not begging for food, but if it's a problem, I'll go to the McDonald's down the street and come back later.

Meanwhile, I stayed at the parties until DS told me to leave. He's 6 - I guess I'm cramping his style. I stayed at one pool party and after the swimming was done he asked me what I was still doing there. "But you are supposed to leave!!!!"

 

[Evil Queen]

I threw my son a party once at a park that sat next to the intracoastal waterway. On the invites I asked the parents to stay. Most did, but I also have my siblings, their older kids, etc to help me so there was plenty of supervision, I just felt more comfortable for them being there. And they were fed well and a great time was had by all.

 

[Katy Belle]

I've always stayed at pool parties. I would never leave them at a public pool alone and I won't leave them at a private pool party alone. Last year my middle son was in Kindergarten. At one party the invitation stated that if your child was going to swim, then an adult needed to stay with them. I don't think anyone can/will watch your kid like you.

I sometimes drop off my older two kiddos, now age 9 and 11 at home parties. It all depends on the situation.

I try to never take little siblings to parties if they are not invited. That could easily double the guest list. I did have to one time, DH was out of town, I couldn't find a sitter and this was a good friend of my middle son. I asked if I could bring my little one and she had no problem with it. I insisted on paying for his portion of the party, Build a Bear.

Katy