Do I Suck it up and Go?

[MIGrandma]

DH's Dad and step-mom want to "get the family together" Saturday night at the local pizza place. This means DH's sisters/families and that's fine, get along great with them, no problem. But then there's the step-mom's family too. Ick. Can hardly tolerate them. And why they keep forcing the families to "get together" is beyond me.

But anyway, I think DH wants me to suck it up and just go. But because of not being able to stand the other half of the "family" and not being able to eat the pizza (allergy -gluten) and the last time I was in the establishment (before I discovered the gluten allergy) the owner really hurt my feelings and I vowed I wouldn't go back - I just really do not want to subject myself to the "fun" of going for those reasons.

Would you go? Or just tell your DH you're not going and let him go by himself?

 

[diznygirl]

You don't look so good. Are you running a fever?

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I often ask DH to go with me places that he would really prefer not to go. So since he does that for me, I also do that for him.

So, I guess I am saying I would go.

 

[MIGrandma]

You don't look so good. Are you running a fever?

I like that! Funny enough, my 4-year-old grandson coughed right in my face this morning when I was helping him use the potty.

 

[MIGrandma]

I often ask DH to go with me places that he would really prefer not to go. So since he does that for me, I also do that for him.

So, I guess I am saying I would go.

I know you're right. It's part of being married, I know, I know.

But he has so many more "family things" that I have to go to for him than he has to go to for me, it just isn't fair. *whine whine whine*

 

[1stluvispooh]

I would tell your DH how you feel. Don't forget to mention the fact that you would not be able to eat. Yeah I know he knows but sometimes they need a reminder, (my DD has an allergy to gluten as well!) See how he would feel if you stayed home. He might surprise you and say go ahead and stay home.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Why would you go? It's one thing to help each other out by going to things the other doesn't like. We all do that all the time. "Honey, if you want to see everyone, go, great, have a good time. But it's really important to me that I don't go". It's not like you're holding him back. You've already said you enjoy his family. Why do you need to hang out with these other people that you don't really care about? And the 2nd piece being the restaurant. If you can't eat the food and you do not wish to support this business, than again, don't go.

 

[kathie859]

I would go with my husband if he asked me to go. I think supporting one another is important. Over the years we both have gone places that we really weren't interested in going--but to keep peace AND to actively demonstrate that we not only "talk the talk but walk the walk" we'd humor each other. Usually these were gawd awful business related events with an occasional family thing thrown in.

For years, I suffered thru family gatherings with my DS and my DBIL's totally obnoxious family. I mean they are narrow minded, bigoted, opinionated and their comments really got me going I did this because I love my sister. Eventually I decided to simply laugh at their outrageousness and somehow that let me survive the encounters with a smile.

OP--I get where you're coming from, including the whole patronizing a restaurant that you would rather not do. BUT, I'd slap on my happy game face and go as a family unit.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

 

[lovetoscrap]

Have you ever had a migraine? Cause I am thinking that you are showing all the early signs of getting one. I suspect by late afternoon tomorrow you will be miserable in bed and unable to leave the house. . .

 

[disykat]

Normally, I'd say to suck it up and go, but the whole going to a place you "vowed never to go to again" makes a difference. It's just pizza, it seems like you could have a pass on this one.

 

[Boxley]

DH's Dad and step-mom want to "get the family together" Saturday night at the local pizza place. This means DH's sisters/families and that's fine, get along great with them, no problem. But then there's the step-mom's family too. Ick. Can hardly tolerate them. And why they keep forcing the families to "get together" is beyond me.

But anyway, I think DH wants me to suck it up and just go. But because of not being able to stand the other half of the "family" and not being able to eat the pizza (allergy -gluten) and the last time I was in the establishment (before I discovered the gluten allergy) the owner really hurt my feelings and I vowed I wouldn't go back - I just really do not want to subject myself to the "fun" of going for those reasons.

Would you go? Or just tell your DH you're not going and let him go by himself?

I use the "ladies excuse", the hubby just shrugs and no questions asked.

 

[FSUDisneyGirl]

I guess, to me it would depend on what happened with the manager. If it was at a different restaurant, I would go.

Can you eat a salad, or soup, or (gluten free) spaghetti and meatballs? Or eat dinner before you go and have a drink and dessert there?

 

[MAKmom]

Tell your husband you will give him a get out of jail card to use if he covers for you. Your tired & need to kick back

 

[C.Ann]

If I really didn't want to go, then no - I wouldn't go.. I always decline invitations politely, (and this year in particular I'm avoiding crowds because I don't want to get sick) and if others don't understand or agree with my reasons for declining, it's their issue - not mine.. Add people I "don't like" to the list and I'm DEFINITELY not going..

 

[kaytieeldr]

No, wait! You are running a fever of... I'll tell you in a minute - and you ache all over. You don't have any flu symptoms, but you don't want to risk passing whatever it is on to anyone else. Oh, phooey. You're so sick your temperature isn't even registering - but you can pretend it's yesterday when you were running a 101.1 temp...

 

[DeluxePrincess]

I say, don't go. If it were a different restaurant no problem. You could probably tolerate the step family for a couple hours. However, since you said you are not comfortable in that establishment and you don't eat pizza (which they probably realize), then it is acceptable to stay home. Or you might just "have other plans" .

 

[Planogirl]

I wouldn't go. DH and I often cover for one another when it comes to things like this. I don't see why anyone has to go to every event.

 

[Evil Genius]

You suck it up and go. Eat before you leave, and talk to the people you do enjoy spending time with.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

i usually suck it up and go. i come from a small family and we don't really have "Get togethers" it's just like my mother inviting us over for dinner with her and my father once in a while, and i like it like that. when there's too many people i get easily frustrated and aggitated. and i don't do that on purpose, feeling that way, it just happens. i wish it didn't, it would make things easier.

DH has a large family, on Thanksgiving there was probably about 40 people there and even tho i'd rather not, it's only a few times a year for a few hours, so i just suck it up and try and smile as much as i can and try to have fun.

unless you're not feeling well. in that case, i'd stay home. i kind of wish every year that i'd get sick on one of the major holidays and it NEVER happens!

this year DH got sick with a cold on Thanksgiving, of course! but he still wanted to go and see the family...

 

[shortbun]

Skip it. Tell them you're not feeling well and don't want to make the rest of them sick. You are allowed to skip one every once in a while. Tell your DH you won't make a habit of it but he needs to just suck it up and go without you. He can just say, 'she didn't want to make anyone else sick.' It's a small lie for a good cause-keeps family harmony in so many ways. While you are absent, he can also say,'could we do this somewhere else next time? XXX is allergic to gluten/wheat-bread and the owner of this place really is a patoot.' Then it's not you suggesting another spot-it's him.