Do I invite the in-laws?

[Matty B13]

Even though WDW does a great job for people with mobility issues, it causes a lot of delays for the other family members in the group. You spend a lot of time just trying to get to places, which is okay when your kids are really young, but once they are out of the strollers this becomes a problem.

 

[sndral]

I think the secret to positive multigenerational or extended family trips is to not even try to do everything in synch. Planned activities together - like a meal at X place at a certain time, or whoever wants to ride Y meet there at a certain time, but otherwise various subgroups can break off & do what they want. If everyone tries to do everything together the result is no one is happy because everyone likes different things.
In OP’s case w/ the physical limitations of the in laws my plan would be to go w/ my immediate family to a park in the morning, return to the Poly for a swim break in the afternoon & time w/ the in laws & maybe an occasional dinner w/ the in laws at the Poly or another resort on the monorail loop & then back to the parks w/ the immediate family. There’s a lot the in laws could to do at the Poly that doesn’t involve joining the throngs in the parks & that they could do at their own pace like swimming, hanging out on the beach, riding the boat to/from the MK/GF, riding the monorail loop, etc.. If the in laws want to spend time in a park I’d suggest MK - a boat or monorail ride away & maybe scooters or @ a minimum spending $12 on a wheelchair for MIL while in the park later in the vacation when the necessary slower pace will be less irritating.

 

[kes601]

Even though WDW does a great job for people with mobility issues, it causes a lot of delays for the other family members in the group. You spend a lot of time just trying to get to places, which is okay when your kids are really young, but once they are out of the strollers this becomes a problem.

This is true. We just took our first trip with my Mom (77) and Dad (78). Mom still gets around just fine but my dad was in a wheel chair. We bought G+ for them to limit times in line, but our first ride the first evening was It's a Small World (Mom remembers it from 40 years ago). Because Dad was in the wheelchair we had to go to the DAS entrance. And he didn't want to transfer and the line was already fairly long, but didn't seem that bad. Fast forward to an hour later and we were finally getting on (standby was posted at 20....and we had a G+ LL). Similar situation at Haunted Mansion. We needed the moving walkway completely stopped so had to wait 15-20 minutes after the stretch room.

Dad felt a little bad for holding everybody up. He did eventually transfer to a few rides and on Toy Story Mania we got to ride twice because 1) it took a long time to get the wheelchair accessible vehicle for us and 2) nobody else was waiting.

At any rate, we did have a good time, but I would never want to do this as my first DVC trip. Enjoy the purchase for yourself.

P.S. You can request connecting rooms at Poly but you are not going to be guaranteed to get them. What happens if you are in one building and they are in another?

 

[Minniemoo15]

We travel with my parents every year...we do connecting Poly SV studios and they work great for us.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

We travel with my parents every year...we do connecting Poly SV studios and they work great for us.

We've traveled enough with my in-laws but I'm glad they backed out of the 2017 trip they were going to go with us on. They backed out more than a year in advance due to stamina concerns (and it's even worse now, they weren't even in their mid-60s back in 2017). We've done Cape Cod trips with them, we've done smaller visiting family trips, we've done many trips to the Lake of the Ozarks, we've done a road trip with them and they are about to go with us to Mexico (along with one of my sister-in-law's) to celebrate our 10 year anniversary.

However, there are trips that are not the best even as close we are in terms of vacation likes. Disney and Universal is honestly one of them. Years ago we went to Six Flags Over New England when we were visiting family in New England and that was okay but it was a one day trip. They've had season passes for Silver Dollar City for like 2 or 3 years in a row in the past but they don't go on the rides at all (and a season pass is very inexpensive). Even my sister-in-law (who is several years younger than me) backed out of that 2017 trip because in the end she didn't want the entire vacation to be theme park. She wanted to go to the beach for a day or two, she didn't want to do 5 days at WDW nor 3 days at USO (she's done a day or two at a time at Universal and that's all she would want and Disney maybe a day or two at most).

The usual advice is to start small with family trips so that you can get the feeling of how everyone does on it. After that though most people get to realize what types of trips are better for family member trips and what are just more stress than less stress. I do think WDW can work but it really takes making sure everyone is very clear about expectations and is okay with what that trip ends up being. I know one of our biggest concerns was with my mother-in-law who would not get out the door as quickly as we wanted so had they gone with us we would have been clear you guys just meet us at the parks, take this transportation (at that 2017 trip we were on site) and just meet us whenever. We would not have planned FP+ together because that would have been too stressful worrying about if they were going to make it and feel like doing it. A bit funny but our group of DISer friends we went to WDW/USO in May for one of them getting married in WDW and we all loved that we could finally have a trip with all of us there together. We loved it so much we planned a Silver Dollar City trip together (most of us in the group are local enough to SDC it's several hour drive) and the bride who had gotten married a couple months earlier remarked "I just want to say how great it is that we all got out the door on time, if this had been my family this would have never happened" (her family came to WDW for the wedding and they had some park days together).

In today's world with park reservations and Genie+ (although the most recent update to be able to adjust and modify by person is very helpful) it's even harder if one or more people joining in have enough differences in touring. For the OP they have concerns over being able to keep up with them as well as planning for people who do not go into the evening at all. That may make for a frantic trip trying to work that in. It sounds like to me the OP's in-laws have enough of a difference in traveling patterns that this type of trip would be more likely to have friction.

 

[Carol_]

I can’t read all 3 pages but I say buy your in-laws a 2 night stay. Pay for their dinner with the family at a character breakfast. Let them take the kids shopping for souvenirs, after. Don’t make them go to the parks and schedule your park day to include dinner with them at the hotel. Then spend your other 5 days however you like.

 

[Jack Kerouac]

This is true. We just took our first trip with my Mom (77) and Dad (78). Mom still gets around just fine but my dad was in a wheel chair. We bought G+ for them to limit times in line, but our first ride the first evening was It's a Small World (Mom remembers it from 40 years ago). Because Dad was in the wheelchair we had to go to the DAS entrance. And he didn't want to transfer and the line was already fairly long, but didn't seem that bad. Fast forward to an hour later and we were finally getting on (standby was posted at 20....and we had a G+ LL). Similar situation at Haunted Mansion. We needed the moving walkway completely stopped so had to wait 15-20 minutes after the stretch room.

Dad felt a little bad for holding everybody up. He did eventually transfer to a few rides and on Toy Story Mania we got to ride twice because 1) it took a long time to get the wheelchair accessible vehicle for us and 2) nobody else was waiting.

At any rate, we did have a good time, but I would never want to do this as my first DVC trip. Enjoy the purchase for yourself.

P.S. You can request connecting rooms at Poly but you are not going to be guaranteed to get them. What happens if you are in one building and they are in another?

I asked my wife about the connecting rooms. Part of me thinks my in-laws would actually not want connecting rooms so our boys don't bother them too much. I guess that will be a conversation my wife will need to have with them.

 

[Jack Kerouac]

We've traveled enough with my in-laws but I'm glad they backed out of the 2017 trip they were going to go with us on. They backed out more than a year in advance due to stamina concerns (and it's even worse now, they weren't even in their mid-60s back in 2017). We've done Cape Cod trips with them, we've done smaller visiting family trips, we've done many trips to the Lake of the Ozarks, we've done a road trip with them and they are about to go with us to Mexico (along with one of my sister-in-law's) to celebrate our 10 year anniversary.

However, there are trips that are not the best even as close we are in terms of vacation likes. Disney and Universal is honestly one of them. Years ago we went to Six Flags Over New England when we were visiting family in New England and that was okay but it was a one day trip. They've had season passes for Silver Dollar City for like 2 or 3 years in a row in the past but they don't go on the rides at all (and a season pass is very inexpensive). Even my sister-in-law (who is several years younger than me) backed out of that 2017 trip because in the end she didn't want the entire vacation to be theme park. She wanted to go to the beach for a day or two, she didn't want to do 5 days at WDW nor 3 days at USO (she's done a day or two at a time at Universal and that's all she would want and Disney maybe a day or two at most).

The usual advice is to start small with family trips so that you can get the feeling of how everyone does on it. After that though most people get to realize what types of trips are better for family member trips and what are just more stress than less stress. I do think WDW can work but it really takes making sure everyone is very clear about expectations and is okay with what that trip ends up being. I know one of our biggest concerns was with my mother-in-law who would not get out the door as quickly as we wanted so had they gone with us we would have been clear you guys just meet us at the parks, take this transportation (at that 2017 trip we were on site) and just meet us whenever. We would not have planned FP+ together because that would have been too stressful worrying about if they were going to make it and feel like doing it. A bit funny but our group of DISer friends we went to WDW/USO in May for one of them getting married in WDW and we all loved that we could finally have a trip with all of us there together. We loved it so much we planned a Silver Dollar City trip together (most of us in the group are local enough to SDC it's several hour drive) and the bride who had gotten married a couple months earlier remarked "I just want to say how great it is that we all got out the door on time, if this had been my family this would have never happened" (her family came to WDW for the wedding and they had some park days together).

In today's world with park reservations and Genie+ (although the most recent update to be able to adjust and modify by person is very helpful) it's even harder if one or more people joining in have enough differences in touring. For the OP they have concerns over being able to keep up with them as well as planning for people who do not go into the evening at all. That may make for a frantic trip trying to work that in. It sounds like to me the OP's in-laws have enough of a difference in traveling patterns that this type of trip would be more likely to have friction.

I don't believe they are really compatible travel companions at this stage in life. But I know my wife is the type that would look back and feel bad if we didn't at least offer at some point. But I may talk to her and let her know we can play something closer, shorter, and less physically demanding.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

ut I may talk to her and let her know we can play something closer, shorter, and less physically demanding.

I'm sure there are plenty of things to come up with for that

 

[HopperFan]

It’s a very personal question. I bought DVC because although it was easy for me to experience Disney, it was not easy for friends and family who would never have that kind of money. I bought DVC not for my memories, but so that I could give my family the kinds of memories you’re talking about… grandma and grandpa with their grandkids.

I understand but for me I want my kids to have good memories of their time with the grands, not one of stress, complaining, kids being held back because of their grands.

My family often took my mother with us to Disney and other places, and even when she remarried we introduced her DH to Disney fun. He did well considering.

While my DH would have loved to travel with his parents too, Disney was not their thing, or I should say not his Dad's thing. He would want to spend an hour in the park then leave to play golf or something else that none of us want to do.

At the core it is about spending quality, vacation, fun time with the grandparents ... and that doesn't have to mean Disney. I would be planning another trip, even if just a long weekend to go do something they might enjoy. Maybe rent a cabin, play board games, cook together OR a beach trip ... factoring in the grandparent likes so they are positive, factoring in their mobility and health needs.

I think that’s where my wife is at. This would be just the one time. I hesitate for many reasons to invite them on the first trip, mainly the fact this will be our first time going and we basically let my parents lead the trip in April. But I know we don’t have a lot of time left where they might be able to go with us.

You are trying to make good memories with your children in your new vacation "home". How wonderful to have the ability to stay so long, to enjoy the resort and the parks. If their coming changes all that ... would that put a black cloud over your trip?

This is tricky. It’s not really about your in laws. It’s about your wife and her feelings.

I think if you can get her to come to the realization (on her own - this part is key) that this is a terrible idea, then that would be the best outcome. To that end perhaps do an outing like to the zoo or a local amusement park with the in laws?

My kids are grown now so I put in decades with in-laws. I think it is really important for both spouses to acknowledge their parents limits, their likes, their needs when talking about these kind of big commitments.

Would her parents come to make her happy but be miserable the whole time, be upset about the money they spent to go somewhere they didn't want to go? I just always try to plan trips with the grands that THEY wanted to do and we could make sure kids enjoyed as well.

If she still maintains that she wants to do this, then I would personally go along with it. Extend the invite, grit your teeth, remember to smile for the photo pass photographers, and just remind yourself “this is cheaper than marital counseling” for the duration of the trip.

Sounds like this will be a one and done. Do everything you can to make it a wonderful trip with your wife’s parents, for the sake of your spouse and your kids and the memories that everyone will cherish and selectively recall in future years.

Can you afford to keep your trip exactly as you had it planned out THEN offer them a regular room (you pay for that) in the hotel for say 3 nights that would overlap with ONE park day and the rest at the resort? If they decide not to come, your trip is as planned but you offered. If they do you know that the kids will be happy, the grands and you less stressed with the resort relax time.

 

[sethschroeder]

I would just outline why WDW might not be their speed and instead look for an option that is their speed.

 

[EYL]

I'll tell my story for your consideration - we own PVB as well. I have a 10-year old now, and before COVID, we always aimed to have 2 vacations a year - one with my parents and one with our small family only. Our 2019 trip to PVB was different because it was supposed to be for our small family only, but we had an extra years worth of points from the contract that we were able to get 2 connecting LV rooms for a week-long trip, so we invited my parents along as well. They always wanted to stay at the Polynesian, though. I remember as a kid, we always stayed off site and every time the monorail stops at the Polynesian, we would always "wow" at the entrance. But at the core, they're not big Disney fans at their age - my mom hated the walking, and my dad was a lot slower. This was not a trip that they came up with, but came along to travel with their grandson. I got them 1 ECV to share.

We scheduled some time for them to stay at the resort and did things together as a family. We did Hollywood Studios alone one night for the Driod Depot and Smugglers Run, and we did Animal Kingdom without them. But we went to Epcot and MK with them. We ate separately some nights, but was able to eat together for character breakfasts and was able to take them to the Spirit of Aloha Luau. They explored the Polynesian Resort on their own and even went to Epcot briefly while we were at the Magic Kingdom. My parents did not hold us back.

The low point was my dad getting "lost" in Epcot. We couldn't find him for 30 minutes as we were watching a Sugar Ray concert from afar. I logged into my phone and the tracker I planted in his bag was...well...right next to me alongside his cell phone. My wife and I split up and searched for him from China all the way to France. He had a bit of dementia at the time and, needless to say, all the bad things that could happen to him were in my head. But we returned to him sitting at our table and found out that he went to the men's room and decided to go into the building and got whisked into The American Adventure show and couldn't get out. It definitely wasn't an easy trip as I felt like I had to take care of my parents and my own family at the same time - it was stressful.

That said, I don't regret it. COVID came, and we haven't travelled together since then. My mom had a knee replacement, and my dad is now in a nursing home. Things declined fast. We look back on our pictures and we're glad that we were able to do "one last trip together" no matter how stressful it was. I'm glad to have the photos and the memories. My son still asks if grandpa will ever be able to come on a trip with us again.

I say this because talk to your wife and see how she feels and leave the final decision up to her. I think I would have regretted not asking them, especially when the extra room was "free" due to the extra points. You don't want to be the reason for that regret.

I know my situation may be different, but it's just my 2 cents for your consideration. No one can tell what the future holds and, with family, "now" is always the right time.

 

[Jack Kerouac]

I understand but for me I want my kids to have good memories of their time with the grands, not one of stress, complaining, kids being held back because of their grands.

My family often took my mother with us to Disney and other places, and even when she remarried we introduced her DH to Disney fun. He did well considering.

While my DH would have loved to travel with his parents too, Disney was not their thing, or I should say not his Dad's thing. He would want to spend an hour in the park then leave to play golf or something else that none of us want to do.

At the core it is about spending quality, vacation, fun time with the grandparents ... and that doesn't have to mean Disney. I would be planning another trip, even if just a long weekend to go do something they might enjoy. Maybe rent a cabin, play board games, cook together OR a beach trip ... factoring in the grandparent likes so they are positive, factoring in their mobility and health needs.



You are trying to make good memories with your children in your new vacation "home". How wonderful to have the ability to stay so long, to enjoy the resort and the parks. If their coming changes all that ... would that put a black cloud over your trip?


My kids are grown now so I put in decades with in-laws. I think it is really important for both spouses to acknowledge their parents limits, their likes, their needs when talking about these kind of big commitments.

Would her parents come to make her happy but be miserable the whole time, be upset about the money they spent to go somewhere they didn't want to go? I just always try to plan trips with the grands that THEY wanted to do and we could make sure kids enjoyed as well.


Can you afford to keep your trip exactly as you had it planned out THEN offer them a regular room (you pay for that) in the hotel for say 3 nights that would overlap with ONE park day and the rest at the resort? If they decide not to come your trip is as planned but you offered. If they do you know that the kids will be happy, the grands and you less stressed with the resort relax time.

In many ways, my in-laws are big on what they want to do, especially my FIL. Sadly, he's kind of the type who wants my kids to entertain him and he doesn't really get it. For example, the last time he was at our house he was sitting at the dinner table with my youngest son, aged two and is currently in early intervention for speech. My son wanted some ketchup so he pointed at it. My FIL told him he could have some if he used his words. My son became very sad and just got down from his seat and went into a different room. My FIL didn't tell him to come back and he would get him some ketchup. They are the type that will just begin eating at Thanksgiving without telling us the food is ready. Things like that. It's difficult for my wife and I, but we also want to just cut them off because they tend to be difficult at times.

I think my biggest dark cloud with them might be my FIL complaining. My FIL has a wonderful sister who married a great guy. They are very generous with us, treating us to a family camp every year, doting on our kids, things like that. They don't have kids of their own, so they have always treated my wife and her brother as their kids, and have welcomed me as a SIL of sorts. One year when my wife and I had plans with my family, our uncle and aunt hosted an Easter brunch at a very nice restaurant and they invited my FIL and MIL. My FIL told me the place was so expensive (it is expensive for the suburb it's in, but it's good food) and that the uncle was a showoff (he's not, he's a genuinely great guy who does well and shares it.) So that is in the back of my mind if they came with us sometime to WDW. A lot of it stems from their inability to pay for nicer things, so they complain when others can.

 

[Jack Kerouac]

I'll tell my story for your consideration - we own PVB as well. I have a 10-year old now, and before COVID, we always aimed to have 2 vacations a year - one with my parents and one with our small family only. Our 2019 trip to PVB was different because it was supposed to be for our small family only, but we had an extra years worth of points from the contract that we were able to get 2 connecting LV rooms for a week-long trip, so we invited my parents along as well. They always wanted to stay at the Polynesian, though. I remember as a kid, we always stayed off site and every time the monorail stops at the Polynesian, we would always "wow" at the entrance. But at the core, they're not big Disney fans at their age - my mom hated the walking, and my dad was a lot slower. This was not a trip that they came up with, but came along to travel with their grandson. I got them 1 ECV to share.

We scheduled some time for them to stay at the resort and did things together as a family. We did Hollywood Studios alone one night for the Driod Depot and Smugglers Run, and we did Animal Kingdom without them. But we went to Epcot and MK with them. We ate separately some nights, but was able to eat together for character breakfasts and was able to take them to the Spirit of Aloha Luau. They explored the Polynesian Resort on their own and even went to Epcot briefly while we were at the Magic Kingdom. My parents did not hold us back.

The low point was my dad getting "lost" in Epcot. We couldn't find him for 30 minutes as we were watching a Sugar Ray concert from afar. I logged into my phone and the tracker I planted in his bag was...well...right next to me alongside his cell phone. My wife and I split up and searched for him from China all the way to France. He had a bit of dementia at the time and, needless to say, all the bad things that could happen to him were in my head. But we returned to him sitting at our table and found out that he went to the men's room and decided to go into the building and got whisked into The American Adventure show and couldn't get out. It definitely wasn't an easy trip as I felt like I had to take care of my parents and my own family at the same time - it was stressful.

That said, I don't regret it. COVID came, and we haven't travelled together since then. My mom had a knee replacement, and my dad is now in a nursing home. Things declined fast. We look back on our pictures and we're glad that we were able to do "one last trip together" no matter how stressful it was. I'm glad to have the photos and the memories. My son still asks if grandpa will ever be able to come on a trip with us again.

I say this because talk to your wife and see how she feels and leave the final decision up to her. I think I would have regretted not asking them, especially when the extra room was "free" due to the extra points. You don't want to be the reason for that regret.

I know my situation may be different, but it's just my 2 cents for your consideration. No one can tell what the future holds and, with family, "now" is always the right time.

I think you're spot on. I will let her make the final decision on inviting them or not. Even if we do, they may very well say no. But you're right, it's really not my call, it's my wife's. Thank you for sharing your story. It definitely gives me another perspective on it.

 

[MICKIMINI]

What I would personally do is take your first trip without anyone else. This way you can experience ownership for the first time without family stressors and even the best of families have those.

I understand you may feel obligated to invite them based on a recent past trip with your parents and perhaps obligated because you now have a timeshare but I personally wouldn't let yourself get bogged down by that.

This is the way!

 

[Jack Kerouac]

This is the way!

The more research I do on these boards and watching videos, the more intimidating it is when you are the one having to plan everything.

 

[RoseGold]

I'd offer 2-3 nights. Don't request adjacent rooms. Go ask at the desk. Oh shucks, the front desk just can't make that work.

The TTC boat is fantastic with wheelchairs. It's the most seamless, normal experience a wheelchair person will have. In that sense, it's very magical.

9 days is a really long time. Do 8 and offer them a couple nights.

I'd be very clear that any criticism or insults and you won't see us the rest of the trip.

 

[Jack Kerouac]

I understand but for me I want my kids to have good memories of their time with the grands, not one of stress, complaining, kids being held back because of their grands.

My family often took my mother with us to Disney and other places, and even when she remarried we introduced her DH to Disney fun. He did well considering.

While my DH would have loved to travel with his parents too, Disney was not their thing, or I should say not his Dad's thing. He would want to spend an hour in the park then leave to play golf or something else that none of us want to do.

At the core it is about spending quality, vacation, fun time with the grandparents ... and that doesn't have to mean Disney. I would be planning another trip, even if just a long weekend to go do something they might enjoy. Maybe rent a cabin, play board games, cook together OR a beach trip ... factoring in the grandparent likes so they are positive, factoring in their mobility and health needs.



You are trying to make good memories with your children in your new vacation "home". How wonderful to have the ability to stay so long, to enjoy the resort and the parks. If their coming changes all that ... would that put a black cloud over your trip?


My kids are grown now so I put in decades with in-laws. I think it is really important for both spouses to acknowledge their parents limits, their likes, their needs when talking about these kind of big commitments.

Would her parents come to make her happy but be miserable the whole time, be upset about the money they spent to go somewhere they didn't want to go? I just always try to plan trips with the grands that THEY wanted to do and we could make sure kids enjoyed as well.


Can you afford to keep your trip exactly as you had it planned out THEN offer them a regular room (you pay for that) in the hotel for say 3 nights that would overlap with ONE park day and the rest at the resort? If they decide not to come your trip is as planned but you offered. If they do you know that the kids will be happy, the grands and you less stressed with the resort relax time.

Basically we have enough points to do a LV for 9 nights and still have points left over. If we opted for a SV, we would be able to give them a SV for a few nights with the remaining points. If my wife decides she does want to invite them, I think we would just offer a few nights to them. That way we still have time with just our three boys, we can do the parks and be a bit more active. But when the in-laws are there, we can take it a bit easier, more time at the resort, seeing the other resorts via the boats and monorail. So many of you have given me so much to think about. Thank you!

 

[RoseGold]

Price out the tickets for them. That might fix this discussion for you.

If you're going to do this, I would still move to the LV room a few days. One of my favorites in DVC. Or, heck, try to move to BW our something when they leave.

 

[disney-inspired]

I suggest just your immediate family going for the first trip and then set up another shorter trip to invite her parents. Less stress all around.