Do I have a right to be upset?

[jasnal]

My sister and I are really close. She is my maid of honor in my wedding and we tell each other EVERYTHING!!! Well, she found out she got an interview for physician assistant school for NOVA Southeastern in Orlando. I have been there for her for the whole application process. I was the one she came to for help with her application and the one she cried to when she was afraid she wouldnt get an interview!! Her best friend is a girl she has known for about 10 years and my sister calls me to gripe about her ALL THE TIME. She has never been there when my sister really needs her....I am! Well my sister asked her friend to go with her to the interview and spend a few days at WDW. It really hurt my feelings that she didnt ask me b/c I would have definately asked her! And she also knows how much I LOVE WDW!!! Do I have a right to be upset or am I overreacting?

 

[ExCPKate]

I think I would be upset about it, but maybe she has a reason why she asked the friend instead of you? Maybe she didn't want to bother you anymore about the job since she knows you're busy planning your wedding. She knows that you will always love her unconditionally, and probably didn't realize it would hurt your feelings. I wouldn't call her out on it, but perhaps just tell her that if for some reason that friend can't go, that you'll be there to support her.

 

[Raspberry Bubbles]

Sometimes being so close to someone you tend to take them for granted and hurt them without realising it. I know you must feel let down and rejected, but I'm sure she didn't mean to cause you to feel this way. However, I would mention it, without trying to cause argument between you, in a kind, constructive way - I personally feel awful if I bottle upset emotions up - it's healthy to talk about the way you feel - just make sure she doesn't feel that you are blaming her for your feelings. She probably hasn't even realised she's upset you!

If it's any consolation, my sister left me pretty much out of her wedding planning and turned to a girl who was the girlfriend of her husband's friend instead, who she had met about 7 times! I was completely devastated but as it was her wedding day she was planning, I tried to stay out of any arguments. Now that girl has gone and they are no longer in contact, but I still love my sister - she never meant me any harm.

 

[JonetteA]

She may not have thought that you had the money to go, especially planning a wedding. As we know a WDW wedding is not cheap. I would talk to her about it and let her know your feelings!

 

[disneybride2007]

I believe that you have a right to your feelings and a right to be upset. On the other hand, I have a firm belief that when you loan anything to a relative or friend-money, materials, time, advice, etc.- you should do so with the expectation that you will receive nothing in return. My sister is in school working on her BS in Nursing and needed to borrow 1/2 of her semester's tuition, due to a delay in financial aid. She was deeply upset and even thought about sitting out the semester because she didn't have the money. We loaned her the money and told her to pay it back, whenever she could, even if she couldn't comfortably pay it back, until she graduates. She called after she'd taken her final exams and left us a message thanking us for loaning her the money and because of us she was able to go to school. She informed us that she passed all of her exams, with her lowest grade being a B and her average was 3.4.

I didn't know it but dh called MY SISTER and told her the debt was paid. All we really wanted was to see her succeed. I was sooo touched that he had shown my sister such kindness. The kind of love and understanding that only a true brother could give.

In your case, I think you should call your sister and let her know how you feel, in a sisterly sort of way. I'm sure she would be happy to have, both her two favorite people along with her, during a very important moment in her life. I would be upset if I made my sister aware of my feelings and she still dismissed me. But, give her a chance in that, with all of the excitement she may have had a temporary bout of forgetfullness

 

[Raspberry Bubbles]

Your DH is such a kind man!

My relationship with my sister is much the same - she never intentionally causes me to be upset, but sometimes it happens - I'm sure I do the same to her....!