disruptive/dangerous 5th grade classmate UPDATE #17 Draft letter to school

[mom2boys]

Thanks Wishing Star. That is why I posted.

I am trying hard not to appear to be bashing that student - although that might be just what he needs from his parents.

Ugh! I hate this kind of thing & usually let the kids handle it but this is beyond what a 10 yr old should/could be expected to handle.

 

[Tinkim]

Good luck to you and your son. This is such a difficult situation. My son was in the 2nd grade when the Jafar in our town broke his femur. While this didn't happen at school my kids have told me of many, many incidents that have happened at school. Not only is he disruptive and rude to teachers he has made physical contact with students on a number of occasions. They have moved him around a bit and last year he was in school only half the day but this year he is back to regular classes and resumed his normal aggressive behavior. My kids know to stay away from him but the incidents with other kids just keep happening. His parents are in deep denial about the situation most of the time and I guess they hope it will go away. We are involved in a legal situation with them so it makes it even more complicated. I really feel for you. When I was in school kids like these were suspended and usually separated from other students. Now it seems an IEP is put into place and they are integrated with the other students at any cost. I find it hard to believe that the IEP was designed for kids like these to take advantage of. Bad behavior is a lot different than a learning disability but it is treated the same. Good luck. I hope this gets resolved. I know it never will in our town.

 

[mom2boys]

I find it hard to believe that the IEP was designed for kids like these to take advantage of.

Our school district actually has a BIP (Behavior Intervention Plan). I can only imagine how that ties the administrations hands. I am not unsympathetic to the needs of this troubled child. However, I am angry that my son's and my son's classmates' educations and personal safety are at risk because of this child. The district also has an alternative program for elementary students with behavioral and emotional issues. I keep hoping that this child will be placed there -for his own sake & the sake of his classmates.

 

[DWDreams]

I'm just going to through out a potential roadblock you may encounter. If this child is on an IEP, due to a learning disability, the principal may not be able to discuss too much with you. The "rules" always seem to be different if an IEP is in place.

Good Luck - I wouldn't be too happy with this type of behavior either. Most schools in our area tend to mainstream all students in regular classes, so there just aren't alternative options for being in a class with other emotionally disturbed or discipline problems.

When you meet with the principal, try to have some ideas on solutions to the problem. Can an aide be assigned to this child to help "supervise" them, help deal with issues, so the teacher can teach?

Good Luck!

This is exactly what I'm thinking. It makes it difficult on many school systems because many parents refuse anything other than mainstream, so the school and other students end up suffering by this forced accomodation that doesn't really control the problems. It's one thing to accomodate learning issues and non-violent special needs, I'm all for that, but I wish the line could be drawn at violent and disruptive issues.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Zero Tolerance is Zero Tolerance.

IEP or not... Once this child does actually make contact with another child. Then he should immediately be removed from the classroom.

An IEP does NOT give a child the right to assault another child.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

BTDT Good Luck is about right.
Others are right in stating that the Principal will be unable to discuss many specifics with you regarding what special services and paperwork is in place concerning this child. Privacy issues prevent that -- which is completely as it should be.

However, it could very well be that the Teachers and Administration are unaware of exactly how this boy is acting when unsupervised and/or without an Aid. If you can make them aware that the problem is more serious, they could very well wake-up and realize that the kid is going to have to be assigned a full-time Aid and watched more carefully. Other parents really don't have any legal right to band together and insist that a child be moved to an alternative school. I agree that there are cases where it would be really nice if they did --- but if this kid hasn't actually done anything yet -- the chances of that happening are zilch.

Having your child moved to another class is a possibility -- but 1 quarter into the year that will be pretty difficult for your kid. Besides, the new class could be even worse and then you'll really be stuck.