Disappointed - no disney engagement

[GoldieSaysMeep]

The marriage is the big deal. The wedding and the proposal are 2 relatively minor things in the scheme of things. Yes doing them big is nice but isn't having a long and happy marriage the most important thing?

I agree. I was SO psyched when my wedding was finally over because it meant DH and I could just live our happy lives instead of constantly having to plan a party that was 99% for other people.

 

[powellrj]

I don't get why some people think it's ok to expect a "big" proposal but then I don't understand why weddings have become so important either. The marriage is the big deal. The wedding and the proposal are 2 relatively minor things in the scheme of things. Yes doing them big is nice but isn't having a long and happy marriage the most important thing?
.

I don't either. We talked about getting married and went one Saturday and picked out a ring. 34 years later and I am still waiting on the "big" proposal!

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Everyone is different. I'm not a wedding person AT ALL. And if/when I get married, I don't want a big wedding and have no intention of having one. But that doesn't mean it's wrong for someone else to want a big wedding.

Wanting a special proposal doesn't mean the marriage itself would be less important.

 

[Hannathy]

I don't either. We talked about getting married and went one Saturday and picked out a ring. 34 years later and I am still waiting on the "big" proposal!

You and me both! I do not understand proposals Getting married is not something to be sprung out of nowhere. How do you not know you want to marry this person and they want to marry you? Don't you talk about these things and decide together this is what you want and that you are compatible. People seriously don't know they want to get married until the man "asks" the woman. No wonder there are so many failed marriages.

I also wouldn't want to wear a ring for 50 yrs that I had no say in picking out.

 

[Carnie]

I never even GOT a ring/proposal. I ended up getting my own grandmother's engagement ring after the fact, and I wear that under my wedding ring.

We didn't have the money at the time, and it wasn't important to me.

I did, however, have a real live Disney wedding. It was the kind of wedding that people complain over at the Wedding Board that they aren't "allowed" to have by Disney. I have Castle in my pictures. I had a private dining room at the GF.

And I didn't pay $25,000 for it, and didn't get stuck having it at 8 am.

That, to me, is worth WAY more than a compacted piece of shiny carbon on my finger.

 

[kimmar067]

....I did, however, have a real live Disney wedding. It was the kind of wedding that people complain over at the Wedding Board that they aren't "allowed" to have by Disney. I have Castle in my pictures. I had a private dining room at the GF.

And I didn't pay $25,000 for it, and didn't get stuck having it at 8 am.

That, to me, is worth WAY more than a compacted piece of shiny carbon on my finger.

...wow, I'd like tro see those pix!

 

[EllenFrasier]

I didn't read all the responses, but the first page sounds like everybody is on your boyfriends side in this, while all the time I was reading your post I was siding with you!
I must tell you one thing up front, having been married for almost 25 years, men do not read minds, take suble hints, take obvious hints, pay attention to clues, etc. If you don't come right out and say it, they don't get it.
So - if you really wanted him to propose at WDW, then the babysitter was on you. I know, it would have been great if he had done it, but he didn't and if you wanted it to happen there, you would have done it.
But - I really would reconsider marrying someone who would not feel comfortable proposing to me in front of my son. Why did you have to be alone? Your son is going to be there for the rest of your lives together, right?
I would go to your Aunt's party. He didn't come through in WDW with the proposal what makes you think he will come through on that particular day that the anniversary party is happening on? Imagine how upset you will be if he does not come through and you give up going to the party?
My Dh did not get an answer ahead of time about marriage, but he did tell me that he had a diamond ring in a safety deposit box, lol! He proposed to me two months later on Christmas Eve dressed as Santa! So I had to wait a while for the proposal, but I didn't go around expecting it at every date we had.

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

OP I guess if it were me I'd call him up and ask him why he hasn't talked to me in 5 days. What is so important to him that he wants to skip the party you RSVP'd to? Do you know for a fact he was going to propose or does he have another party he'd rather go to?

As far as the babysitting arrangements while you were at Disney... if your child is also his I'd be mad because there is no reason he couldn't have made the arrangements for the sitter. If it's your child and not his, I can see why he would be reluctant to make those kind of arrangements.

 

[mickeysgal]

I'd let it go that it didn't go as planned at Disney. I'm with the others though...are you SURE he was going to propose during the alone time at Disney or did he just want a night out without children? Your title says you're disappointed that you didn't get a Disney engagement. Ask yourself this, if and when he ever does propose, will you be satisfied or will you never let him forget it wasn't done at Disney?

The not talking for 5 days and the old "I'm not going to call him first" is extremely immature and juvenile - on both sides. How are the both of you going to handle a real problem or crisis when it hits? Not talk to each other? Time for some serious soul-searching to see if marriage is really the best thing for both of you at this time.

 

[disykat]

You and me both! I do not understand proposals Getting married is not something to be sprung out of nowhere. How do you not know you want to marry this person and they want to marry you? Don't you talk about these things and decide together this is what you want and that you are compatible. People seriously don't know they want to get married until the man "asks" the woman. No wonder there are so many failed marriages.

I also wouldn't want to wear a ring for 50 yrs that I had no say in picking out.

Finally, someone who gets it! These threads always drive me crazy. I'm a pretty traditional, conservative gal, but I just don't get this "I have to be surprised with the biggest decision of my life by a man" thing!

 

[MoniqueU]

I agree. I hate public type proposals and I feel like Disney is just kind of... eh. The whole marriage/wedding = I'm a princess thing never appealed to me. It's like proposing on Valentines day. Fine if you like that sort of thing but otherwise...


DH proposed to me in a comic book store. Near the "adult" comics section because that happened to be what they moved to the spot where he first saw me the year before (which had previously been the horror section). After he proposed (keep in mind I had NO idea...) I said "of course" and then I paused and said "I thought you were getting me bookends!" because I really did think he was getting me bookends with my favorite characters on them as an anniversary gift.

That is adorable. I love it, possibly the cutest real world proposal I have heard.


OP it sounds to me like he may now be planning the breakup more then the proposal and I think that would be a fine idea for both of you.

 

[wvjules]

SHe hasn't talked to you in 5 days. This is a huge and I mean huge red flag. It shows a lot of immaturity. You want to marry a WOman like that?

I have concerns, really big concerns.
Lisa

Wonder if that's what his friends are saying to him?


BTW, HER child HER responsiblity to find a babysitter, not HIS.

 

[BC]

Tigg...keep us posted as to how things are going and I hope it all works out for you.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

if both of you are so quick to get into power srtuggles about who does what, you should not be getting engaged. So far we have you refusing to do something he's hinting for you to do over the principle of it, and him refusing to speak to you for 5 days because you didn't play along. Does that sound healthy?

danger, danger will robinson.......

 

[Ciao Mickey]

Ive compromised on alot during our relationship. I know when to bend. I just thought it would be nice if I didn't have to plan this as well.

If compromising at this stage of your relationship bothers you, then how do you think you'll feel 5, 10, or 20 years down the road?

Are you sure you want to say yes to his *tentative* marriage proposal? If the both of you can go 5 whole days without talking, and neither wants to give in at this stage of your relationship...doesn't that concern you even a little tiny bit?

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Finally, someone who gets it! These threads always drive me crazy. I'm a pretty traditional, conservative gal, but I just don't get this "I have to be surprised with the biggest decision of my life by a man" thing!

I don't understand this line of thinking. Why do you expect that your feeling on the topic is the only legitimate one?

I think some of you guys are being way too harsh.

 

[BC]

I agree LuvCuteBoys on the being harsh....haven't we all behaved in a way that may not seem quite rational to others (or ourselves) at times?

That being said, Tigg just remember your child is the most important one in this and I would at least consider the fact that your BF has not only cared to check on you in 5 days, he also has not shown any interest in your son for 5 days either. Although he may not be his biological son, if he is considering taking him as a stepson, I would hope he loved him and was concerned enough to wonder how he was doing. Your son certainly realizes he has not been around as usual. I know everyone is saying you are as guilty in this as the BF, but from what I understand, BF does not have children and my point in this post is for your son.

 

[disykat]

I don't understand this line of thinking. Why do you expect that your feeling on the topic is the only legitimate one?

I think some of you guys are being way too harsh.

How does being happy that I finally found one person that feels like me equate to me thinking my feeling on the topic is the only legitimate one? I'm a minority opinion and I know it.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Well, your comment was "finally someone who gets it"...

IDK.... like I said, I just think people are being overly harsh to the OP.

 

[luvmy3]

OP, when you assume he is going to propose to you, you only set yourself up for disappointment when it doesn't happen. I'm sorry that your trip didn't end as you thought it was going to, but him saying things like "it would be nice for some time alone" could have just meant that, or the fact that he asked if you were planning on marrying him, could have just meant that he wanted to make sure you were serious about him before going on a "family" trip to WDW with you and your ds. I think you need to stop looking for clues in what he says, because to a woman who wants to be engaged, anything could be a clue, even when it isnt. Just be happy that you are together, and if marriage is in your future then he'll propose when he's ready.

With that being said, the whole not speaking to someone for 5 days is very immature. Adults, especially ones who are considering getting married to eachother, should know how to communicate with eachother and work things out when they get angry. If this is how you guys are going to handle disagreements, I have to agree with the others and say maybe you both aren't ready for something like marriage.