Disappointed - no disney engagement

[Buckalew11]

Maybe when he wanted alone time it wasn't for proposing...

Maybe he wanted alone time but since he isn't his son, he felt odd getting the babysitter at the hotel.

Maybe he doesn;t want to get married now, after this trip. Maybe soething happened that he didn't care for and tht is why he is not talking to you. 5 days in a L-O-N-G time.

 

[declansdad]

Maybe he changed his mind.

 

[FireDancer]

I don't know OP, maybe he decided he wanted to do something more original than another Disney proposal.

Am I the only one who thinks the whole Disney proposal thing is completely hack? I think it is about as unoriginal as the stadium score board proposal. I also don't get why people honeymoon there, at least not people who have been there twenty times already like a lot of the people here. I always figured you'd want your honeymoon to be someplace you have never been before, not your 21st trip anywhere, even Disney.

 

[Minnesota!]

Marriage takes a lot of compromise - to be honest, from your comments, it sounds like it's more important for you to be right, and it doesn't sound like either one of you is ready for marriage.

 

[klacey1]

I don't know OP, maybe he decided he wanted to do something more original than another Disney proposal.

Am I the only one who thinks the whole Disney proposal thing is completely hack? I think it is about as unoriginal as the stadium score board proposal. I also don't get why people honeymoon there, at least not people who have been there twenty times already like a lot of the people here. I always figured you'd want your honeymoon to be someplace you have never been before, not your 21st trip anywhere, even Disney.

I think it's pretty clear that the OP isn't upset that she didn't get a "Disney proposal."

 

[Minnesota!]

Just thought this needed to be repeated.

I agree with you on that.

My proposal from DH was anything BUT romantic. Middle of a Green Mill, with a ring I just watched him buy from a kiosk.

But, when the sentiment and the emotion are coming from the one you love the most, it doesn't matter if it's twist tie and behind a dumpster.

Your partner in life should make you feel wonderful 99% of the time...and if that's not happening you are with the wrong person or you need to reconnect.

 

[usnuzuloose]

I would be questioning myself if this marriage is right. Who goes around avoinding someone they want to marry for 5 days without talking about what the problem is. I hope this would not be the issue in the marriage. No communication.

 

[kirstenb1]

This whole situation gives off a really bad vibe. You guys need a break from each other, maybe permanantly.

 

[honugirl]

I've had to change some of my thinking recently because of everything I've been through and I guess my best piece of advice is to be happy with what you have right now. You have a son who you obviously love and he loves you, you probably have your health (believe me, when you lose that, you lose A LOT!), you just came back from WDW, and I'm sure there's more... Focus on that. Focus on what you do have, not what you don't have.

If it's meant to be, the proposal will happen and it'll be magical in it's own right, even if it's not a Disney proposal.

 

[Disney Doll]

would you guys plan your own surprise party? Would you buy your own anniversary gift? Is there romance out there anymore that someone might want that special moment to be just that, special and not a event that I have to plan out and say ok between 5 and 7pm you can ask me to marry you? Is it that hard for someone to pick up the phone themselves and make the time to do such a thing? If he had asked me before we left for disney if we could spend some time together alone I would have made arrangements.

You know, you're right.

Here's how I got engaged:

I had no idea. He went to NYC one day to the diamond district to a delaer he knew and bought my ring. He called me from Grand Central Station (because he usually called me @ work at least once a day and didn't want me to think it was strange that he didn't call). I didn't know he was in Grand Central Station, but it was so noisy in the background that I said to him "Where the heck are you? In Grand Central Station?". He gave me some excuse that he was at a rest stop (this was in 1990, so before cell phones). Anyhow, he got home from NYC, went to my father's job, asked his permission. That night we were supposed to go to a picnic at my co-worker's house. I got engaged in his gold Ford Tempo at the stop sign down the street from my parents' house. Complete surprise, no request for a "tentative yes", no carrying on about needing time, special this, special that. He wanted to marry m,e, he bought the ring, he asked.

So i do understand what you're saying...and I think you ought to think long and hard about his guy because this seems like a lot of carrying on for an engagement.

 

[C.Ann]

If my boyfriend didn't speak to me for 5 days over something as insignificant as refusing to bail on a party for your family members that you already committed to, I would be doing some serious rethinking in terms of marriage.. JMO..

Sorry your trip was disappointing..

 

[kwelch10377]

I don't know OP, maybe he decided he wanted to do something more original than another Disney proposal.

Am I the only one who thinks the whole Disney proposal thing is completely hack? I think it is about as unoriginal as the stadium score board proposal. I also don't get why people honeymoon there, at least not people who have been there twenty times already like a lot of the people here. I always figured you'd want your honeymoon to be someplace you have never been before, not your 21st trip anywhere, even Disney.

You're not the only one. I would actually be a little disappointed if a guy proposed to me at Disney. I see it as completely unoriginal.

To the OP I think you just need to talk to him. Flat out ask him about the situation and find out what is going on. I think the surprise element of this is gone and you jsut need to figure out where you are in the relationship and what you want.

 

[pigletgirl]

This is going to sound harsh, but I think this is something you need to hear.

Get. Over. It.

If he truly is the one, it won't matter in the world where he decides to pop the question. Its the commitment to HIM that counts.

And yeah, guys become skiddish when it comes to being with the same woman forever, and they will distance themselves for awhile. I think its too premature to break it off, but I do think you guys need to sit down and work things out.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

He didn't propose, but he never said that he was going to propose.

He asked for time alone in WDW, and suggested that you get a sitter, but you didn't. Why? Because you assumed that he wanted the time to propose and you didn't want to do the work for him. Well, if it was to propose, you blew it. If it wasn't to propose, you blew it even more. Maybe he just wanted to spend some time alone with you, and your attitude made that impossible.

So, now you are back at home. You are annoyed that he didn't propose, and that he wouldn't get a sitter so he could propose, even though he never said he was going to porpose. You didn't get any time alone together because you refused to get a sitter, even though he asked a few times. And you are shocked that he is upset with you.

But he gets over it. He asks you to spend a day with him, forgetting that you had already committed to a party. Whatever he had planned for that day was more important to him than the commitment to the party. It happens.

Now, the man who you say that you wish had proposed to you in WDW hasn't called in 5 days and your response is that you are not going to call him first.

I see a trend here. A whole lot of pride and a mountain of assumptions. I have no idea what his side of the story is, but I am betting that it in no way resembles the OP's.

 

[DisneyScraps]

He hasn't talked to you in 5 days. This is a huge and I mean huge red flag. It shows a lot of immaturity. You want to marry a man like that?

Ok you can list all his great traits, but I tell you, you want to marry a man that you can fight with. It happens in a marriage and if this is how he deals with things I would not do it. I sm sorry, this is probably more than you want to hear.

We all want a happy ending with a romantic proposal and happily ever after but so few of us really get it. So that proposal wasn't what you got, I can see your being disappointed but you should REALLY be more upset over is treatment of you with this 5 days thing.

I have concerns, really big concerns.
Lisa

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

He hasn't talked to you in 5 days. This is a huge and I mean huge red flag. It shows a lot of immaturity. You want to marry a man like that?...

She hasn't talked to him in 5 days either, and admits that she doesn't plan to call because of her pride. She doesn't know why he hasn't called, but she knows why she hasn't.

Just sayin'

 

[anna_chronistic]

She hasn't talked to him in 5 days either, and admits that she doesn't plan to call because of her pride. She doesn't know why he hasn't called, but she knows why she hasn't.

Just sayin'

I agree with DisneyBamaFan. I'm seeing immaturity, or at least hard-headedness, on both sides. So he hasn't called in 5 days, but she hasn't called either. Perhaps he's thinking the exact thing she is: "She has ignored me and refused to speak to me for 5 days. Well, I'm not calling her first."

OP, I'm just wondering if this is a workable lifetime-commitment sort of relationship for the two of you. The best way I have ever known to determine whether a couple should/can be together forever is this question: Do they improve each other? Are they better people together than they are apart?

How would you answer this question? How would those who know you as a couple answer this question?

 

[TheIncredibles!]

would you guys plan your own surprise party? Would you buy your own anniversary gift? Is there romance out there anymore that someone might want that special moment to be just that, special and not a event that I have to plan out and say ok between 5 and 7pm you can ask me to marry you? Is it that hard for someone to pick up the phone themselves and make the time to do such a thing? If he had asked me before we left for disney if we could spend some time together alone I would have made arrangements.

So getting engaged is all about you and what you want and the fact that he may want you to take a small part in this is of no concern to you?

This is how he is. You either love him and his "short comings" or you don't.

Besides an engagement is not about the ring, the moment, the romance or anything else. It is about making a commitment to each other and while having the fluff is nice, that is not what makes a solid marriage.

 

[rigs32]

Isn't every proposal and acceptance "tentative" until you say I do and the papers are signed? So, technically, since he asked you for a tentative yes that you gave, aren't you just waiting on a ring presentation rather than a true proposal?

 

[Angelhalo]

I don't know OP, maybe he decided he wanted to do something more original than another Disney proposal.

Am I the only one who thinks the whole Disney proposal thing is completely hack? I think it is about as unoriginal as the stadium score board proposal. I also don't get why people honeymoon there, at least not people who have been there twenty times already like a lot of the people here. I always figured you'd want your honeymoon to be someplace you have never been before, not your 21st trip anywhere, even Disney.

I had a Disney proposal and we went on a Disney Cruise for our honeymoon. Both were awesome and my DH knew me well enough to know that I would love it since WDW is my favorite place on Earth! I didn't find it "hack" at all.