Soooo many comments, people!
But, I have to share THIS little juicy morsel.
I often brag how I've never gotten a traffic ticket, right? Not
here, but, trust me, I DO brag IRL about that. Or if I drive by some poor shmuck who's been pull't over, I will out loud (to myself) say "HA-HA!"
Well, Karma has a way of righting those wrongs, now doesn't she?
I have gotten pulled over before, true. A few times. FOUR other times, if you must know. And have managed to talk my way out of them
BUT,
those particular "skillz" are wasted on
straight women traffic cops!
Works well for the dude cops and the
other lady cops

, I have to say.
(Sorry Celery! LOL!)
Anywho.
A series of unfortunate events all happened within a short time of each other:
1. Got a LITTLE lost, as in took a wrong turn (as in missed my real turn due to whatever distraction)
2. Heard the little man I babysit, who I've literally nick-named "Blow-Out Boy", in his car seat behind me have a VERY loud diaper explosion (some of you know what I'm talking about)
3. Spilled my McIced Coffee (Lg, sugar-free-vanilla, YUMMMM) all down the front of my WHITE top.
4. Entered a
CONSTRUCTION ZONE....(you know what's coming!

)
5. Decided I may be going a
smidge too fast so I decided to slow down--
but before I decided to slow down, Miss Straight Lady Cop's radar gun had already clocked me at going 49!!!!

FYI, It was a 25 zone.
SO! yada yada yada, it's a $432.00 ticket!!!! Received in front of my kids, even! Who proceeded to laugh WITH me the whole way home.
*Sucky-Wife Tip:
If you ever have similar bad-ish news which you need to share with your DH, do this! Call him while he's at work, in the company of OTHER people's DH's. This causes much manly co-miserating and softens the blow of the ticket price quite a bit. Except, he thought I said $132 (not $432!) at first and said, "That's not too bad!" and I thought, "hey, that was EASY!" while silently high-fiving myself. Then I realized he may not have heard me correctly and made SURE he knew my ticket fee. Again, luckily for me, he was with a bunch of dudes at the time.

By the time he came home, he was just rolling his eyes at me and calling me a "Bad A_ _" .
And I can no longer brag about driving for XX years without getting a ticket