DIS Dads DIS Dads disABILITIES Thread

[DisDadDoc]

Hi All

My 4 year old son had ASD and is the most amazing kid - he has learning difficulties sure but he is the nicest , friendliest , most affectionate child we know and everyday we feel priveliged to have him in our lives.

He is going to WDW for the 4th time in May (from London) and loves flying (more than me)

He has a 7 year old brother who he idolises and both can't wait for the next trip.

We know that he and us will have challenges but we could not have wished for more. Its sometimes easy to get down or worry about the future but I don't think all of us could be any happier

Welcome, Marc! Come join us on the main thread as well! http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2717685

My wife and I have often said to each other that if we could push a button and remove our son's autism, we wouldn't do it. It is too intrinsic to who he is and what we love so much about him!

 

[marcgiu]

Welcome, Marc! Come join us on the main thread as well! http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2717685

My wife and I have often said to each other that if we could push a button and remove our son's autism, we wouldn't do it. It is too intrinsic to who he is and what we love so much about him!

Thanks for the welcome

I agree , I would not change a thing about our Son. We also had great news yesterday regarding his school as well. We wanted a school which gave him the support he wanted but also allowed intergration with the mainstream. We got our first choice.

Have many others had challenges/stresses regarding schools?

 

[tutter99]

Well, we have our "post evaluation" meeting at the school on Monday. Came home the other night and DW was on the brink because the school psychologist had called to give her a "preview" of her findings. Basically told DW that its very inconclusive since he shows signs of ODD, ADHD, High Functioning Autism, and just extreme immaturity. Nice she was able to narrow it down for us!

She also brought up that she has never seen a child have a meltdown when his parents came to pick him up for an appointment before so maybe there were some issues that might be resolved through family counseling. The incident she was referring to happened two months ago, we have picked up DS from school at least 10 times without incident for Dr's appointments but on this occasion made the bad mistake of showing up at school when all his classmates were lining up to play outside for recess. But, they felt it should be in the report.

Also, it seems like his teacher is getting frustrated with having to "deal with him". DW sent an email to his teacher to point out that the daily point chart they use to help keep him on task had really looked like it had improved over the last few weeks. The teacher replied with all these other things that she considered a step backwards that we were hearing about for the first time. Have any of you experienced things like this where if it was any other kid it would be considered "normal" behavior for their age but since they are having to give your child extra attention they are being harder on them or going out of their way to point out things they are doing wrong?

 

[AJRitz]

Well, we have our "post evaluation" meeting at the school on Monday. Came home the other night and DW was on the brink because the school psychologist had called to give her a "preview" of her findings. Basically told DW that its very inconclusive since he shows signs of ODD, ADHD, High Functioning Autism, and just extreme immaturity. Nice she was able to narrow it down for us!

She also brought up that she has never seen a child have a meltdown when his parents came to pick him up for an appointment before so maybe there were some issues that might be resolved through family counseling. The incident she was referring to happened two months ago, we have picked up DS from school at least 10 times without incident for Dr's appointments but on this occasion made the bad mistake of showing up at school when all his classmates were lining up to play outside for recess. But, they felt it should be in the report.

Also, it seems like his teacher is getting frustrated with having to "deal with him". DW sent an email to his teacher to point out that the daily point chart they use to help keep him on task had really looked like it had improved over the last few weeks. The teacher replied with all these other things that she considered a step backwards that we were hearing about for the first time. Have any of you experienced things like this where if it was any other kid it would be considered "normal" behavior for their age but since they are having to give your child extra attention they are being harder on them or going out of their way to point out things they are doing wrong?

We had some similar issues with the daily reports we were getting from DS' teachers. We were quite blunt with them. We simply said that the purpose of those forms wasn't to blow sunshine up our a$$e$ and make us feel better about how things were going. They were the only tool we had to monitor how things were REALLY going when he was apart from us, and if they weren't going to give us the full picture - the good and the bad - then the forms were useless. The teacher actually sounded relieved after we said that. Unfortunately, far too many parents only want to hear about what angels their children are, and will actually argue with the teacher about including negative things on the reports.

Unfortunately, the things you're describing from the evaluation are good examples of why it is my opinion that evaluation should be done by a professional, third-party, evaluator and not a school psychologist. While there's no "magic" to nailing down a psychological diagnosis, they really should be able to do better than that. What you report sounds to me like a very much "by-the-numbers" approach (Option "A" was marked three times on the evaluation, and Option "B" was marked two times, and Option "C" was marked four times -- gee, it could be any of them!?!), which lacks the critical analysis of those numbers that you should be able to get from a developmental specialist.

 

[Singledad]

Have many others had challenges/stresses regarding schools?

I think most of my challenges/stresses with the school go more along the lines of I do not speak up enough/was in too much of a hurry to start services.

I want DD in speech as well, but didn't push it. I want her evaluated for autism because of a fear I had back when she was younger, and then the school stating this is a pattern they see in autistic kids. But rather than push for it right away, I just wanted to sign off and say we can tackle that later, lets just get OT started!

So now if I Wanted the school to do an eval for autism I would have to wait until she is 6 years old and her current label expires. and speech wouldn't really be done until then either. (teacher said they usually don't worry about speech until they are 8! seriously, that is TOO LONG to wait.)

That said, I have gotten a referral to get her formally evaluated by a child development center. Why wait when I can get this done via the medical community and know they are looking at the full picture, not just autism, not just how this would effect her learning. plus, I could possibly get her into a speech therapist over the summer, who knows. I just got off the phone with the person who arranges things and she warned me that it would most likely wouldn't be until late summer that she gets actually evaluated. Still sooner than when she turns 6. (which would mean waiting nearly a full year for results.)

 

[DisDadDoc]

Well, we have our "post evaluation" meeting at the school on Monday. Came home the other night and DW was on the brink because the school psychologist had called to give her a "preview" of her findings. Basically told DW that its very inconclusive since he shows signs of ODD, ADHD, High Functioning Autism, and just extreme immaturity. Nice she was able to narrow it down for us!

Your school psychologist sounds like a gem! (not!) I think I'm starting to come around to Aaron's point of view in your case, you need a medical person who can actually sort through the clinical picture and come to a diagnosis, rather than the check boxes approach.

She also brought up that she has never seen a child have a meltdown when his parents came to pick him up for an appointment before so maybe there were some issues that might be resolved through family counseling. The incident she was referring to happened two months ago, we have picked up DS from school at least 10 times without incident for Dr's appointments but on this occasion made the bad mistake of showing up at school when all his classmates were lining up to play outside for recess. But, they felt it should be in the report.

This cements my view that she doesn't know what she's doing. Ridiculous. Did she actually talk to or observe your son to try to figure out what his trigger might have been? Or was she just jumping to a snap judgement? Sounds like the latter...

Have any of you experienced things like this where if it was any other kid it would be considered "normal" behavior for their age but since they are having to give your child extra attention they are being harder on them or going out of their way to point out things they are doing wrong?

All the time. It's a constant battle...

Hang in there, Randy!

 

[DisDadDoc]

We had some similar issues with the daily reports we were getting from DS' teachers. We were quite blunt with them. We simply said that the purpose of those forms wasn't to blow sunshine up our a$$e$ and make us feel better about how things were going. They were the only tool we had to monitor how things were REALLY going when he was apart from us, and if they weren't going to give us the full picture - the good and the bad - then the forms were useless. The teacher actually sounded relieved after we said that. Unfortunately, far too many parents only want to hear about what angels their children are, and will actually argue with the teacher about including negative things on the reports.

Although we've had the opposite experience. We like to hear both the good and the bad, but our son's teacher only has negative things to say. In fact, he seems to relish writing extensively on these forms about all the bad things he perceives.

Fortunately, he's made kind of a fool of himself over the year (with embellishing things to flat out lying) and his principal has been very supportive of us (essentially telling us that he agrees that this guy is an idiot).

Good to hear bad, but it can be overwhelming

 

[DisneyFed]

My wife is a School Psychologist (Specialist Level School Psych--Master's plus 30--PhD Develeopmental)....

Anyway, she constantly battles with the schools she supports because of the exact same thing you guys are talking about here. She is very very very hesitant to "label" a young child (and I quote..."how do you label a kid like that? They are, after all, children who are developing, and contrary to popular belief no one, I repeat NO ONE develops the same way. There's no true rule book to this.)

Her main pet peeve is that teachers (here at least) don't want to teach anything other than the kids who are perfect angels (few) and that "get it" the first time every time (even fewer). I've heard some of her meetings, essentially if the teacher has to put any kind of effort into the child at all "something's wrong with them and they need to be self contained, diagnosed, removed from my classroom...etc. etc.". God forbid any extra effort might get involved.

What ends up happening is the Guidance Counselors and Principals end up backing the teachers (they work at the schools, my wife works for the District) and really fight her on findings, suggestions etc. etc. She will often give advice on how to work with the child (like giving stars for meeting goals, etc.), but they often refuse to do it because "the other kids don't need it, why does he"...

It gets very frustrating for her. I'm not saying all School Psychs are this way, some in her office are not....they are more interested in serving the interest of the school than of the child.

My wife considers herself a Child Advocate, and the heck with what's easiest for the school....though sometimes she does have to deliver less than desireable news to parents, but even so she will tell them there's nothing "wrong" with their child....there are just things that can be done to help them.

My wife blames standardized testing for a lot of this....school's are more worried about getting that "passing grade" than they are "teaching kids"...

Wow...maybe this needs to be in the Rant Thread

 

[tutter99]

The first time we got the call from the school "suggesting" we talk to DS's Dr about ADHD we made an appointment with a child psychologist. We have met weekly with him since December and take in all the "point sheets" and notes we get from the school. We had discussed testing with him but since he was under the opinion it was just immaturity we agreed to take a sit back and wait approach. When the school said they wanted to do testing we spoke to our psychologist and he said since a good portion of the testing was "standard" we should let the school do it as opposed to us paying him to do it, then he would do the other developmental evaluations which the school excludes, because they rarely support their case or brings up additional service needs, that would give a more complete view of DS.

Doc - I know it hasn't been very long but have you noticed any changes now that you have the dog? Apart from spots on the rug?

 

[Singledad]

we got the extended school year services! woot! I was pretty worried that since we didn't have documented loss of skills, the head guy would try to deny DD ESY, but with me knowing about the emerging skills part of ESY we managed to get it.

OT 1x a week for 8 weeks, starting when their summer school program starts. (june 20 something.) so she will still have some break times, but not the full span of 3 months.

also, it is awesome to see others who near bout cry talking about how much progress DD has made in this small amount of time. Today was the fathers day brunch at headstart. when I got there I got to see DD painting on the easel, standing right next to a photo from the beganning of this year of her painting there... in the photo she is holding her brush in a fist grip. Today she was holding it right! Where is the happy tears smiley?

Then her 4k teacher mentioned how today, DD and I got to the school early for OT, so we went to the playground and the AM 4k class was headed out too. For the first time today her teacher watched DD walk outside to play hand in hand with another kid. Sure it only lasted about 30 sec, but for my kid, that is HUGE.

and talking life skills, I got to share the news that for the first time in her life, yesterday DD wiped herself after going #2.
I mean, I wouldn't have even known if she hadn't forgotten to flush! Who cares about that really? She wiped!!!

I could go on about these emerging skills, but seriously, it was such a great feeling hearing and sharing these 'little things' that we all are seeing in DD since she started OT. Not even a full two months later, and we are seeing such strides!

I wrote most of this in my trip report, but figured it also went here as well.

 

[tutter99]

we got the extended school year services! woot! I was pretty worried that since we didn't have documented loss of skills, the head guy would try to deny DD ESY, but with me knowing about the emerging skills part of ESY we managed to get it.

OT 1x a week for 8 weeks, starting when their summer school program starts. (june 20 something.) so she will still have some break times, but not the full span of 3 months.

also, it is awesome to see others who near bout cry talking about how much progress DD has made in this small amount of time. Today was the fathers day brunch at headstart. when I got there I got to see DD painting on the easel, standing right next to a photo from the beganning of this year of her painting there... in the photo she is holding her brush in a fist grip. Today she was holding it right! Where is the happy tears smiley?

Then her 4k teacher mentioned how today, DD and I got to the school early for OT, so we went to the playground and the AM 4k class was headed out too. For the first time today her teacher watched DD walk outside to play hand in hand with another kid. Sure it only lasted about 30 sec, but for my kid, that is HUGE.

and talking life skills, I got to share the news that for the first time in her life, yesterday DD wiped herself after going #2.
I mean, I wouldn't have even known if she hadn't forgotten to flush! Who cares about that really? She wiped!!!

I could go on about these emerging skills, but seriously, it was such a great feeling hearing and sharing these 'little things' that we all are seeing in DD since she started OT. Not even a full two months later, and we are seeing such strides!

I wrote most of this in my trip report, but figured it also went here as well.

AWESOME NEWS! Congrats on the services. Sounds like she is making some great advances

Hope you have lots more opportunities to need the "happy tears smiley" in the coming months.

 

[DisDadDoc]

we got the extended school year services! woot! I was pretty worried that since we didn't have documented loss of skills, the head guy would try to deny DD ESY, but with me knowing about the emerging skills part of ESY we managed to get it.

OT 1x a week for 8 weeks, starting when their summer school program starts. (june 20 something.) so she will still have some break times, but not the full span of 3 months.

also, it is awesome to see others who near bout cry talking about how much progress DD has made in this small amount of time. Today was the fathers day brunch at headstart. when I got there I got to see DD painting on the easel, standing right next to a photo from the beganning of this year of her painting there... in the photo she is holding her brush in a fist grip. Today she was holding it right! Where is the happy tears smiley?

Then her 4k teacher mentioned how today, DD and I got to the school early for OT, so we went to the playground and the AM 4k class was headed out too. For the first time today her teacher watched DD walk outside to play hand in hand with another kid. Sure it only lasted about 30 sec, but for my kid, that is HUGE.

and talking life skills, I got to share the news that for the first time in her life, yesterday DD wiped herself after going #2.
I mean, I wouldn't have even known if she hadn't forgotten to flush! Who cares about that really? She wiped!!!

I could go on about these emerging skills, but seriously, it was such a great feeling hearing and sharing these 'little things' that we all are seeing in DD since she started OT. Not even a full two months later, and we are seeing such strides!

I wrote most of this in my trip report, but figured it also went here as well.

That's wonderful news! I'm very happy for you!

Don't be embarassed to tear up. I relish those tears of joy! You have to embrace the positive!

 

[tutter99]

Well we had our school meeting Monday, and I’m proud to say I didn’t go off on anyone………………….for the first 45 minutes. The school psychologist brought up DS’s meltdown when we picked him up a recess that one day again and I asked her completely straight faced if she felt it was common practice to base a diagnosis or make recommendations on 1 incident out of 20 events that was to this point unrepeated? Apparently this was her “trigger” (Funny, I found hers but she can't find DS's) because she went off on a rant about the reason we didn’t see the behaviors at home that they see at school is because we are “enabling him” and that we should make future appointments that pull him out of class just as he is going to recess to see if the behavior repeats itself. I told her if that was the case then all these meetings we have sat through at the school where they explained how they were “refocusing” DS to keep him engaged was really just “enabling him” (just a note here, I don’t think school psychologist like you making finger quotes in the air).

So enough fun, in order to get him the services he needs we are agreeing to have him labeled by the school as ADHD, although their evaluation showed signs of ADD, ADHD, ODD, High Functioning Autism, Bipolarism, and a few other things (how’s that for narrowing it down?). The other route they were suggesting was to label him as Severe Behavioral/Emotional Developmentally Delayed which was the red flag we were told by our Psychologist to watch out for because that would open the door for them to try to assign him to a full time special ed class. The ADHD plan would give him special education resources a few times a week for 30 minutes and for his grade one teacher to be able to request assistance from the special ed department to assist if he was having a rough day (ie a quieter place for him to go and finish work or discuss what is bothering him).

The very interesting part of the meeting came when we reviewed the educational portion of the testing. We knew going into this that a lot of DS’s problems were caused by him being bright for his age and possibly being a bit bored in class. The testing put his IQ at 129 and in the aptitude testing for his verbal and reading skills he ranked in the 99th percentile. Due to the results of the testing the principal finally admitted that there was no way she could recommend he be held at the kindergarten level and that she had already contacted a rep from the academically gifted program to meet with us and his potential teacher for next year to begin developing an IEP and a strategy to keep him engaged with the class but at the same time challenged academically.

I thank you all for the support on this thread, and Chris for your support on FB. It’s still going to be a rough ride for the next couple of years to get him started on track but at least we know what type of ride we are on now! Medication probably won’t be discussed until the fall since he only exhibits these behaviors at school but I’m sure I’ll have lots more questions when that starts.

 

[AJRitz]

Well we had our school meeting Monday, and I’m proud to say I didn’t go off on anyone………………….for the first 45 minutes. The school psychologist brought up DS’s meltdown when we picked him up a recess that one day again and I asked her completely straight faced if she felt it was common practice to base a diagnosis or make recommendations on 1 incident out of 20 events that was to this point unrepeated? Apparently this was her “trigger” (Funny, I found hers but she can't find DS's) because she went off on a rant about the reason we didn’t see the behaviors at home that they see at school is because we are “enabling him” and that we should make future appointments that pull him out of class just as he is going to recess to see if the behavior repeats itself. I told her if that was the case then all these meetings we have sat through at the school where they explained how they were “refocusing” DS to keep him engaged was really just “enabling him” (just a note here, I don’t think school psychologist like you making finger quotes in the air).

So enough fun, in order to get him the services he needs we are agreeing to have him labeled by the school as ADHD, although their evaluation showed signs of ADD, ADHD, ODD, High Functioning Autism, Bipolarism, and a few other things (how’s that for narrowing it down?). The other route they were suggesting was to label him as Severe Behavioral/Emotional Developmentally Delayed which was the red flag we were told by our Psychologist to watch out for because that would open the door for them to try to assign him to a full time special ed class. The ADHD plan would give him special education resources a few times a week for 30 minutes and for his grade one teacher to be able to request assistance from the special ed department to assist if he was having a rough day (ie a quieter place for him to go and finish work or discuss what is bothering him).

The very interesting part of the meeting came when we reviewed the educational portion of the testing. We knew going into this that a lot of DS’s problems were caused by him being bright for his age and possibly being a bit bored in class. The testing put his IQ at 129 and in the aptitude testing for his verbal and reading skills he ranked in the 99th percentile. Due to the results of the testing the principal finally admitted that there was no way she could recommend he be held at the kindergarten level and that she had already contacted a rep from the academically gifted program to meet with us and his potential teacher for next year to begin developing an IEP and a strategy to keep him engaged with the class but at the same time challenged academically.

I thank you all for the support on this thread, and Chris for your support on FB. It’s still going to be a rough ride for the next couple of years to get him started on track but at least we know what type of ride we are on now! Medication probably won’t be discussed until the fall since he only exhibits these behaviors at school but I’m sure I’ll have lots more questions when that starts.

Congrats on getting the services your son needs, recognizing the attempt to warehouse your child, and restraining yourself from choking the #$!^ out of someone who so desperately deserved it.

Squeaker has had a really rough week. He's been mostly OK at school, but at home he's been on a hair-trigger for a random meltdown. I suspect that part of it may be that he's in the midst of a growth spurt, and that's messing with the absorption rate of his meds (hence the tendency to melt down in the morning, when he hasn't had his morning dose yet, and after we get home in the evening, but before he's had his evening dose yet). I just hope we're able to get him back under control soon. I've got that training trip to Colorado at the end of June, and at this point I'm concerned about DW's ability to deal with him by herself when he goes into full meltdown mode. He's just gotten so big and strong, I'm nervous about her ability to keep from getting injured and/or keep him from injuring himself.

 

[DisDadDoc]

Well we had our school meeting Monday, and I’m proud to say I didn’t go off on anyone………………….for the first 45 minutes. The school psychologist brought up DS’s meltdown when we picked him up a recess that one day again and I asked her completely straight faced if she felt it was common practice to base a diagnosis or make recommendations on 1 incident out of 20 events that was to this point unrepeated? Apparently this was her “trigger” (Funny, I found hers but she can't find DS's) because she went off on a rant about the reason we didn’t see the behaviors at home that they see at school is because we are “enabling him” and that we should make future appointments that pull him out of class just as he is going to recess to see if the behavior repeats itself. I told her if that was the case then all these meetings we have sat through at the school where they explained how they were “refocusing” DS to keep him engaged was really just “enabling him” (just a note here, I don’t think school psychologist like you making finger quotes in the air).

So enough fun, in order to get him the services he needs we are agreeing to have him labeled by the school as ADHD, although their evaluation showed signs of ADD, ADHD, ODD, High Functioning Autism, Bipolarism, and a few other things (how’s that for narrowing it down?). The other route they were suggesting was to label him as Severe Behavioral/Emotional Developmentally Delayed which was the red flag we were told by our Psychologist to watch out for because that would open the door for them to try to assign him to a full time special ed class. The ADHD plan would give him special education resources a few times a week for 30 minutes and for his grade one teacher to be able to request assistance from the special ed department to assist if he was having a rough day (ie a quieter place for him to go and finish work or discuss what is bothering him).

The very interesting part of the meeting came when we reviewed the educational portion of the testing. We knew going into this that a lot of DS’s problems were caused by him being bright for his age and possibly being a bit bored in class. The testing put his IQ at 129 and in the aptitude testing for his verbal and reading skills he ranked in the 99th percentile. Due to the results of the testing the principal finally admitted that there was no way she could recommend he be held at the kindergarten level and that she had already contacted a rep from the academically gifted program to meet with us and his potential teacher for next year to begin developing an IEP and a strategy to keep him engaged with the class but at the same time challenged academically.

I thank you all for the support on this thread, and Chris for your support on FB. It’s still going to be a rough ride for the next couple of years to get him started on track but at least we know what type of ride we are on now! Medication probably won’t be discussed until the fall since he only exhibits these behaviors at school but I’m sure I’ll have lots more questions when that starts.

Wow. Excellent job not punching anyone in the face! (although no jury would convict you!)

Does your private psychologist feel comfortable diagnosing him? You probably haven't had a chance to shown him/her the school's assessments yet, but maybe he/she can sort through it?

Yes, try to avoid the "Severe Behavioral/Emotional Developmentally Delayed" label or the "Oppositional Defient Disorder" label. Both of those make it easier for them to not mainstream him, which could make him even more bored, causing him to act out more, etc...

I'm going to put in another plug for scouts and boys like your (and my son). It really gives you a chance to have him interact in a larger group setting, and since you can be there with him, you can step in and make course corrections. Since it is you there, not the school, you can be sure that he's getting the support he needs. He can also make friends and it gives him a "team" identity. As these kids get older, self-esteem can be a real problem. Having a team/groupp identity that they can fall back on is a huge deal to help prevent that. Tiger dens start in 1st grade.

 

[tutter99]

Hey Dads!

I thought I would resurrect this thread since the new school year is starting.

DS starts on Thursday and we have a meet the teacher night tonight. I am hoping for a better year this year now that we have identified DS's issues and can have a plan in place from the start instead of spending 3/4 of the school year debating whether or not he is doing these things on purpose.

Here's my question: DW and I have noticed some definite improvements in maturity in DS over the summer as we gave him more responsibility, of course we have no idea how he will behave when he gets into a class with 20 other kids. Do we wait and see how it goes for a few weeks or should we work with the teacher to immediately implement the plan that was started in the spring? I would like for him to have consistency right off the bat but at the same time I don't know if bringing up all the things he "did wrong" in the spring might hurt his self confidence since he tends to be hard on himself.

 

[AJRitz]

Hey Dads!

I thought I would resurrect this thread since the new school year is starting.

DS starts on Thursday and we have a meet the teacher night tonight. I am hoping for a better year this year now that we have identified DS's issues and can have a plan in place from the start instead of spending 3/4 of the school year debating whether or not he is doing these things on purpose.

Here's my question: DW and I have noticed some definite improvements in maturity in DS over the summer as we gave him more responsibility, of course we have no idea how he will behave when he gets into a class with 20 other kids. Do we wait and see how it goes for a few weeks or should we work with the teacher to immediately implement the plan that was started in the spring? I would like for him to have consistency right off the bat but at the same time I don't know if bringing up all the things he "did wrong" in the spring might hurt his self confidence since he tends to be hard on himself.

I vote for giving him the structure NOW, up front. Frame it the same way that you did here for us - you want to give him the opportunity to show how much he's matured over the summer. It's not about any past "failures." Rather, it's a way for him to track his progress and celebrate successes.

 

[AJRitz]

I should probably post my own update as well, since DS4 started new meds recently. We had felt like we were seeing progress with the Intuniv, but after an initial adjustment period, it seemed that once DS shrugged off the med making him sleepy, it also became ineffective in helping him manage his behavior. As summer camp was ending, he had a couple of really explosive incidents (including one where he picked up another kid and actually threw him in the trash can ). So we finally took the "ultimate" step with his meds and started him on Adderall. This is essentially the medication of last resort at this stage. Our doctor isn't comfortable prescribing anything else to a child DS's age. He is still taking his Intuniv as well. More on that in a moment.

For the most part, the Adderall has been a good thing. He's doing much better at school. He started a new school year last Wednesday, and we haven't had a single report of a violent outburst (though it's admittedly only been three days). One of the big things I've noticed is that the Adderall appears to allow DS to process empathy in a way he couldn't before. I don't want to give away spoilers, but we watched a couple of different movies since the medication change, and he actually gets choked up/teary at emotionally appropriate moments - something he's never really done before.

The down side is that Adderall has screwed up his sleep cycle. It's very difficult for him to nap (it is, after all, essentially pure amphetamine). And because it is amphetamine, you have to let it "wear off" before bed. And it's pretty obvious when he's "coming down" from his meds. His behavior after the Adderall wears off is very difficult to manage. As I mentioned above, he's still taking his Intuniv. I'm considering suggesting that we delay giving that to him until he gets home from school, and see if that helps him as he's coming down from his Adderall.

 

[Cinderella's Fella]

For both of you, Shalom aleikhem!

 

[DisDadDoc]

Hey Dads!

I thought I would resurrect this thread since the new school year is starting.

DS starts on Thursday and we have a meet the teacher night tonight. I am hoping for a better year this year now that we have identified DS's issues and can have a plan in place from the start instead of spending 3/4 of the school year debating whether or not he is doing these things on purpose.

Here's my question: DW and I have noticed some definite improvements in maturity in DS over the summer as we gave him more responsibility, of course we have no idea how he will behave when he gets into a class with 20 other kids. Do we wait and see how it goes for a few weeks or should we work with the teacher to immediately implement the plan that was started in the spring? I would like for him to have consistency right off the bat but at the same time I don't know if bringing up all the things he "did wrong" in the spring might hurt his self confidence since he tends to be hard on himself.

I vote for giving him the structure NOW, up front. Frame it the same way that you did here for us - you want to give him the opportunity to show how much he's matured over the summer. It's not about any past "failures." Rather, it's a way for him to track his progress and celebrate successes.

I definitely agree. The school should expect that the plan is the same as the spring (for consistency) and Aaron's comment about "It's not about any past "failures." Rather, it's a way for him to track his progress and celebrate successes" is very well phrased! But should I expect anything less from our lawyer?