Dis Breast Cancer Survivors Part II -GAGWTA!

[snappy]

Dawn and imabrat, I am sending you both a big cyperdose of pixie dust.

Hoping the scans were clean as a whistle.

Laurie

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Waiting for news from Mom's surgery.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I meant to mention that too jsg, sorry. Your mom is in my prayers today also.

 

[violetshelby]

I know I don't post on here very often , but I am at such a loss right now I don't know what to do. My story for anyone not familiar,I was dx'd in Sept.2007, Finished chemo. Feb.28,2008, finished radiation May 12,2008. I am currently on herceptin every 3 weeks until November 2008 and I have started tamoxifen. I am married with 2 daughters 12 and 9.
Last week my Husband tells me he is not happy and wants a seperation. He says he loves my but loves my like a sister. I just can't understand this, he has been so suppourtive through the whole cancer thing. He says there is no one else ,and call me crazy ,but I do believe him. He is telling me now he wants a seperation because he wants to find someone else. He wants to find passion. I think I am handeling this harder than the cancer, I can't stop crying. the Girls know nothing yet. their dance show is this weekend. I have finally convinced him we need to at least seek some marriage counceling before he can make a descion like this. Has anyone have any experience with marriage counceling ? I know it may sound silly but can they help bring back the passion in a marriage? We have been married for 14 years and together for 19 total. I don't want to give up on us. This has been such a shock I did not see it coming at all.

 

[Iluvthemouse]

I know I don't post on here very often , but I am at such a loss right now I don't know what to do. My story for anyone not familiar,I was dx'd in Sept.2007, Finished chemo. Feb.28,2008, finished radiation May 12,2008. I am currently on herceptin every 3 weeks until November 2008 and I have started tamoxifen. I am married with 2 daughters 12 and 9.
Last week my Husband tells me he is not happy and wants a seperation. He says he loves my but loves my like a sister. I just can't understand this, he has been so suppourtive through the whole cancer thing. He says there is no one else ,and call me crazy ,but I do believe him. He is telling me now he wants a seperation because he wants to find someone else. He wants to find passion. I think I am handeling this harder than the cancer, I can't stop crying. the Girls know nothing yet. their dance show is this weekend. I have finally convinced him we need to at least seek some marriage counceling before he can make a descion like this. Has anyone have any experience with marriage counceling ? I know it may sound silly but can they help bring back the passion in a marriage? We have been married for 14 years and together for 19 total. I don't want to give up on us. This has been such a shock I did not see it coming at all.

I dont have any advice. I am truly sorry.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Violetshelby - I am so sorry! I don't have any experience with marriage counseling. I hope you are able to work things out!

My mom is in recovery. She had a lumpectomy. Her nodes were positive, so she will have to do chemo and radiation. She has a drain that will stay in about a week. They are keeping her overnight. They said she can drive in 3 or 4 days, so she should be driving by the end of my visit. (I am going up Thursday - Monday.) My aunt said they put the cancer at Stage II, but they didn't say if it was A or B.

Her D&C went OK. They removed 4 more polyps that they will send for pathology.

So it's OK news. I was so hoping her nodes would be negative! I guess I need to brush up on all the chemo info before she goes to the oncologist in July.

Thanks to all of you for your support!! I am sure I will be asking for many more opinions over the next month!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

violetshelby I have to go to a pool party (last day of school today) but I'll give your post some thought and post later.

jsg, not great news on the nodes, but not unusual, either. I believe she would have had chemo +/- radiation anyway, regardless of node status. It depends on whether the tumor was invasive or not (and thereby cells leave the breast area and presumably travel to distant areas via the bloodstream, which chemo is designed to kill; if the nodes were positive, the cells traveled there, so the tumor was presumably invasive, but that would have shown on the path report, and tumors can be invasive without there being cancer in the nodes, as it hadn't traveled there yet, depends on the "aggressiveness", or grade - diff than stage). And with most lumpectomies today, they do radiation (to kill any local cells remaining near the breast/axilla/clavicle area). Hugs to you and your mom and sister.

 

[MerryPoppins]

Dawn and imabrat, my thoughts are with you.

Maureen, you remain in my prayers.

JSG, hope your mom's surgery is a huge success and that you get word soon. I know it's hard not to be there.

Violetshelby, I don't have personal experience to draw from. But I'm glad that you've talked to him about counseling. I've heard good things from others about working things out. And considering the fact that you've been dealing with cancer, there could be issues plaguing him that he isn't even aware of. Sometimes facing mortality can throw you into a middle age crisis. Don't give up hope. You've made it through cancer. Consider this another hurdle. You can face it...you're a fighter. If you love your husband, then fight for him. Go to counseling and listen to his fears. Find out what is making him unhappy and see if together you can fix it. Maybe your relationship will be stronger for it?

 

[MerryPoppins]

Oops. Jsg posted while I was posting. Well, it wasn't the best news, but it wasn't terrible news either. Many of us here have had positive nodes. I didn't, but many have. That doesn't mean she won't do fine. I'm sure many here can be lots of support.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

violetshelby I have to go to a pool party (last day of school today) but I'll give your post some thought and post later.

jsg, not great news on the nodes, but not unusual, either. I believe she would have had chemo +/- radiation anyway, regardless of node status. It depends on whether the tumor was invasive or not (and thereby cells leave the breast area and presumably travel to distant areas via the bloodstream, which chemo is designed to kill; if the nodes were positive, the cells traveled there, so the tumor was presumably invasive, but that would have shown on the path report, and tumors can be invasive without there being cancer in the nodes, as it hadn't traveled there yet, depends on the "aggressiveness", or grade - diff than stage). And with most lumpectomies today, they do radiation (to kill any local cells remaining near the breast/axilla/clavicle area). Hugs to you and your mom and sister.

They have said all along that it was invasive, but the Dr. had said if her nodes were negative she would just do radiation, not chemo. My aunt said the oncologist told Mom the tumor was not aggressive, but I'm not quite sure what he meant by that.

I'm just so worried about how she will do with the chemo. Especially since she will have her first infusion right before I go to WDW. I have already looked at flights out of MCO, I have told DH that he and DS would have to just continue the trip without me, but now I am back to feeling guilty and stressed about the trip.

 

[Iluvthemouse]

Prayers for mom.


I just heard from the doc and she said "there is a suspicious solid mass that must be biopsied" so she is making an appt with a surgeon. My heart just dropped. I am trying really hard not to panic but it is hard.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Prayers for mom.


I just heard from the doc and she said "there is a suspicious solid mass that must be biopsied" so she is making an appt with a surgeon. My heart just dropped. I am trying really hard not to panic but it is hard.

Oh, dear. I'm sorry! You must be frightened! Hang in there! Hopefully they can get you in for the biopsy quickly!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

They have said all along that it was invasive, but the Dr. had said if her nodes were negative she would just do radiation, not chemo

That just doesn't make sense to me.

Invasive cancer = chemo (unless the invasive component is minscule)

oncologist told Mom the tumor was not aggressive, but I'm not quite sure what he meant by that

Aggressiveness = grade 1 thru 3

How much the cancer cells have changed from regular breast cells

1 = least aggressive
2= moderately aggressive
3= most aggressive

How's your Mom doing tonight?

It's great that they put in a drain. I hope they're finally starting to do that. I had to have fluid drained from my underarm every few days and it was a PIA.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

violetshelby, I've been thinking of you today. I don't have personal experience here, either. But my sister and my best friend both went through divorces and I was their main emotional support. One thing I read at the time was that many people after divorce regret not working harder to save their marriages. I agree with Merry that if you think it's worth saving, you should fight for it. However, your husband has to want to continue on, too. The observation I had from my sister and my friend was that there was one person in each relationship who didn't want to fight, therefore, it didn't work. I DO believe that a marriage counselor CAN help put passion back into a tired marriage. I'd say it's worth a shot, absolutely. I also agree with Merry that the type of year you had could definitely have played a part in this current crisis - how, I don't know. But maybe the counselor could help you figure it out. Best wishes for you. I hope you keep us updated with how you're doing and how things are going.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Well, the radiation comment was made by the surgeon at the time of the inital biopsy. I guess maybe radiation and chemo weren't really covered in the oncologist visits, and the oncologist is the one who had the path report calling the cancer invasive lobular carcinoma. At any rate, since the nodes are positive that automatically changes everything.

I haven't talked to Mom yet. I guess I can try to phone the hospital. I have been trying to deal with some drama with my sister, so I haven't even looked up the number!

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Mom is doing pretty well! She said she really isn't in pain. She had a normal dinner, she is able to get up to use the restroom, she sounds good.

The doctor hasn't been in to speak with her, which I don't know if that is standard or not? She thinks she will see the doctor before she is discharged tomorrow.

What seems odd/inaccurate to me is the staging. They told her stage II A. NOTHING I can find separates stage II into A and B. She also said when they removed the tumor that a "clump" of nodes came out, too. They don't know how many positive nodes there are because they were all stuck together! Is it just me, or does that sound MUCH more like stage III?

At any rate, I don't think it will alter what comes next. She will still have chemo and radiation and stay on the Arimidex. I guess maybe the chance of recurrence is higher, but the treatment plan won't change.

Thoughts, anyone?

 

[DeeCeeSW]

She also said when they removed the tumor that a "clump" of nodes came out, too. They don't know how many positive nodes there are because they were all stuck together! Is it just me, or does that sound MUCH more like stage III?

I had 2 positive nodes out of 12. My surgeon originally thought it was one, but they were actually two small nodes stuck together. My BC then went from Stage 1 to Stage 2 (still considered early), but Grade 3 (aggressive).

 

[Pea-n-Me]

jsg, you got me curious so I did a little research to see if anything has changed in the past few years.

It seems that ILC actually has a better survival outcome than IDC (ductal), which is more common than ILC. They've found that ILC responds well to hormonal therapy, and yes and no on chemo - yes for the more aggressive cancers, no for the less. So for some cancers that are invasive, but very small and not in the nodes, it's possible that some docs might not recommend chemo. OTOH, there would be many "old school" who would probably offer it anyway, because patients want to be given every option available to them. Can you imagine if someone had invasive cancer, wasn't offered chemo, and the cancer came back and spread? Then you have the question of why wasn't it offered? That's my take on it, anyway.

Here are some links

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/invasive-lobular-carcinoma/DS01063/DSECTION=8

http://www.cap.org/apps/docs/reference/myBiopsy/BreastInvasiveLobularCarcinoma.html

http://www.breastcancer.org/news_research/archives/ask_expert/2007_12/question_06.jsp

http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/chemotherapy/who_gets_it.jsp

http://www.news-medical.net/?id=7087

As for the staging, there is a way to distinguish A and B. Let me see if I can find it for you, and anything on clumping.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Thanks for all of the links! I don't quite know what to make of it. My aunt writes everything down, so I don't think she misunderstood stage II. I just don't think the description they are giving matches up with stage II.

I did just read something else about the "finger-like" projections from the tumor because of the pattern the cancer gorws in, so maybe that's what wa clumped and not the nodes.

This is the drawback of not being there in person! I wanted to be a doctor, so out of our family I probably have the best grasp of medical terminology. I have also done the most reading on the topic. I think Mom has read some, but I think she isn't really absorbing what she reads. My mom & my aunt just write down what they are told, they don't question anything. And half the time Mom doesn't even write it down!

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

http://www.imaginis.com/breasthealth/staging2.asp#numerical

This is the only site I can find that makes an A/B distinction in stage II. BUT from what they are telling me, I still think Mom falls into the stage III A, not stage II A. I may end up calling the doctor myself if I can't make heads or tails out of all the secondhand info!