Dilemma: Leave one child home?

[DVCLiz]

Isn't Disney supposed to be a "family" vacation??

Disney certainly is a great family vacation, but it's not limited to only the people who have their whole families there. I've taken my younger DD twice while her older sister was at home - either in school on a different vacation schedule or involved in something else and unable to get away.

If the OP had said, "I have three children, but we just don't like one of them" I'd say she probably ought to rethink that. But making a decision based on the age of the participants is perfectly valid, I think, and doesn't make you a bad parent.

 

[3DisneyBuggs]

Thanks for all the replies, even the not so nice ones. We haven't made up our minds yet but I'm leaing towards leaving him with my parents. . On our last trip there, he was 5 months old and cried so much from being in the carseat. He does not like long car rides. We are on a trend now where we do Disney every year so I'm not worried about him not having a Disney vacation. My oldest is 7 years old and me and DH have not been away for more than a weekend by ourselves. By not bringing my son we will have more time, energy and patience to have fun with the older two. I'm even thinking we may be able to put the two in the Neverland Club so me and DH can have a romantic dinner.

 

[ZachnElli]

Honestly, I couldn't do it. My kids are spaced widely too, 11 yrs, 7 yrs and 14 months and there is no way I could leave our little guy behind. I'm not saying YOU shouldn't, just that I couldn't. And I don't think this is about "adult time" like another poster said. That I could do and have done! We've left the kids with grandma for lots of trips: Maui, Las Vegas, West Palm Beach and even Orlando. Got an in room sitter for the kids so dh and I could go out too while at WDW. But I couldn't leave just one behind.

 

[grlpwrd]

I couldn't do it either.

It will probably be more remembered or may be in the back of everyone's mind as a "remember when the little one didn't go with us to Disney World trip" rather than a "we had so much fun" trip.

We're also an all for one/one for all kind of family.

GL to you and have fun whatever you decide!

 

[Gabby&Liv's Mommy]

Last year we left my littlest DD at home. Once when she was 6 months and once when she was a little over a year. I am so gald we did. We had a great time with my older DD (2 1/2 1st trip & a little over 3 2nd trip). At first I felt a little guilty, but we ran into several parents while we were there that had done the same thing. The guilt melted away.

What worked for us may not work for everyone, but I am glad we did.

 

[zookeeper]

Only you know your child and whether or not you should take him.

Our DS is 17 months old and we took him this month and last May. He loved the characters and the rides he could go on. Even POTC, which scared his almost 3 yr old sister (who talked about riding it for months beforehand ).

We have 4 kids, 17 mos, 35 months, 11 yrs, and 13 yrs. It has always been our experience that the youngest is the easiest in WDW. LoL

But that is our family.

This year, my 2 older kids were told that we would be pulling them out of school for almost 2 weeks. So, they were required to maintain certain grades, no missing school unless they were sick, and we had rules about behavior. My oldest DD13 lied, repeatedly did things she had been grounded for, and neglected her homework in favor of hanging out with her friends. She is a good student, but even so, her grades went from A's to low B's and high C's. She stayed home with her Dad, my ex.

It was the hardest thing I had ever done, but her 11-yr old brother pulled his grades up from the normal C's to B's and A's, and even with his ADD, was better behaved in the last 6 months than ever. So I could not give in and take her, after he worked so hard to earn the right to take 2 weeks off of school. His teacher was so happy with him, that she gave him a free pass on the work for those 2 weeks. He did not have to make up any assignments.

I know I am probably a mean mom, and I agonized over it (When I took her off the reservation, I cried), but since we have been back, she told me she knows why she stayed home and that she wants to go in Feb and will work her butt off in school so she can.

Anyway, for me, it was the right thing to do. And I am sure many people would tell me I am a wench and how could I do that to my DD. But it was right for us.

So if you think your son would be okay not going on this trip....leave him home.

WOW! Good for you for sticking to the consequences of your DD's actions. I'm sure she learned her lesson. Kids should understand that special things like vacations are privileges not rights. Congratulations to your DS for working so hard. If you had caved in and brought DD all you would have taught DS is that he didn't really need to work so hard after all because you would've taken him anyways. You are not a mean mom...you're a CARING, CONCERNED MOM who taught her kids a valuable life lesson!!!

 

[jtnsami]

I was thinking about this and DH mentioned it to me this morning. We will be going with an 8 yo a turning 4 yo and an 18 month old. Bad parents that we are want to leave the 18 mo old home. Not that I want to, I would miss him amd feel gulity that he's not in Disney. But it would make our 17 hr drive eaiser, we could all do most of the rides together, stroller issue would be simpler.We plan on park hopping so that will be easier and we could stay out later. HAs anyone done this or thinking of doing this? I know we will make future trips to the World, which he will probably enjoy even more. Our DD at that age was scared of the characters and screamed whenever they were near.

ANy opinions are welcome.

I am in the same boat you are only as a single parent with a DS(11) DD(5)and DS(2). I was VERY adament about taking my DS(2) with us on our very first Disney Vacation. Following reasons 1) Family vacation 2) first trip to Disney 3) He would absolutely LOVE to meet Donald Duck 4) Seeing the look in his eyes as he experiences the "Magic" for the first time 5) AND #1 REASON, I had never been anywhere where without my baby boy before and I sure as heck wasn't going to leave him behind this time. The thought of it just broke my heart. Then realization set in. Not that he wouldn't have a great time, but the other two children would be held back by the fact that he isn't big enough to do the things they want to do so their activities would be limited to nap times, ride restrictions, etc... My mother finally convinced me that it would be fine if he stayed home this trip (which I didn't doubt anyway be cause he'd be with Granny and Papa). They plan to take him to SeaWorld and camping while we're gone. There will be other Disney trips to take him on, and I think taking him right before he starts Kindergarten is just the perfect time (if not before on a Mommy and me trip). In my heart I know this was the right thing and the right decision for me and mine. Just be happy with whatever you decide, and know that it is right for you and yours.





Me DS(11) DD(5) DS(2)

 

[jtnsami]

I was thinking about this and DH mentioned it to me this morning. We will be going with an 8 yo a turning 4 yo and an 18 month old. Bad parents that we are want to leave the 18 mo old home. Not that I want to, I would miss him amd feel gulity that he's not in Disney. But it would make our 17 hr drive eaiser, we could all do most of the rides together, stroller issue would be simpler.We plan on park hopping so that will be easier and we could stay out later. HAs anyone done this or thinking of doing this? I know we will make future trips to the World, which he will probably enjoy even more. Our DD at that age was scared of the characters and screamed whenever they were near.

ANy opinions are welcome.

I am in the same boat you are only as a single parent with a DS(11) DD(5) and DS(2) . I was VERY adament about taking my DS(2) with us on our very first Disney Vacation. Following reasons 1) Family vacation 2) first trip to Disney 3) He would absolutely LOVE to meet Donald Duck 4) Seeing the look in his eyes as he experiences the "Magic" for the first time 5) AND #1 REASON, I had never been anywhere where without my baby boy before and I sure as heck wasn't going to leave him behind this time. The thought of it just broke my heart . Then realization set in. Not that he wouldn't have a great time, but the other two children would be held back by the fact that he isn't big enough to do the things they want to do so their activities would be limited to nap times, ride restrictions, etc... My mother finally convinced me that it would be fine if he stayed home this trip (which I didn't doubt anyway be cause he'd be with Granny and Papa). They plan to take him to SeaWorld and camping while we're gone. There will be other Disney trips to take him on, and I think taking him right before he starts Kindergarten is just the perfect time (if not before on a Mommy and me trip). In my heart I know this was the right thing and the right decision for me and mine. Just be happy with whatever you decide, and know that it is right for you and yours.





Me DS(11) DD(5) DS(2)

 

[jtnsami]

Sorry! Double post!

 

[mdparker88]

When we took our family trip in Dec 2004, our youngest was then about 18 months and I am so glad she was with us. Other kids were 3, 13, 16. She was the one that really enjoyed the characters (even more than the 3 year old) and and it was a very special time for all of us. We, too, drove, only it was a 22 hour drive for us. The drive was not the most fun, however, she did sleep alot in the van so that helped. If I had to do it over again, I would definitely take her, I can't imagine what the trip would have been like without her there.

Each family is different, that was just our experience.

 

[pweyl36]

I'm just trying to imagine the difference in the parents of this generation, represented on this thread, and my parents, in terms of their reaction to this question. If this had happened in my family, and I'd asked why I wasn't in the picture, my mother would have just laughed. She certainly wouldn't have worried that she was dooming me to a life of low self-esteem and therapy. That kind of response is new to our generation of parents, I think.

My answer to my child would be, "Because it was easier to leave you home." Period.

Th flip side to this, and I'm now in this phase, is that the younger children do eventually grow up and sometimes they get more than the older siblings. My older DD has had some travel opportunities that her younger sister hasn't, with school and Scout trips. But, younger DD is now coming into that same age, while older DD is going off to college and will be getting a J-O-B, so may not be able to travel so easily with us in the future.

OP, as long as you have plenty of family trips and family memories, there's nothing wrong with making this decision. It's difficult to add a toddler to the mix you have right now, so I'd make the sanme decision and let the little one stay at home without any guilt whatsoever.

amen!

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

WOW! Good for you for sticking to the consequences of your DD's actions. I'm sure she learned her lesson. Kids should understand that special things like vacations are privileges not rights. Congratulations to your DS for working so hard. If you had caved in and brought DD all you would have taught DS is that he didn't really need to work so hard after all because you would've taken him anyways. You are not a mean mom...you're a CARING, CONCERNED MOM who taught her kids a valuable life lesson!!!

Thanks...I keep feeling like a heel.

But I know my parents would have done the same with me when I was a kid and I turned out okay (for the most part). I REALLY hope she turns it around in the next few months. She is a lot of fun, that girl. I missed her company and told her that.

And to the OP-one thing I thought of after I posted before....I think my 2 oldest would be THRILLED to have DH and I all to themselves for a week. I could see myself doing an older kids and parents only trip...we did consider this for the cruise. But I don't think anyone in my family will keep our 2 younger ones!

 

[3princesses+aprince]

I wouldn't do it. Too many memories to be made. And wouldn't want anyone not a part of that. We went last year and my youngest dd was 12 months. She had such a great time. Loved the characters, and enjoyed many rides, especially in Fantasyland in MK! I have a pic of her in MK "playing"with ducks that were waddling around. It was so cute, it's those little things that you'll always remember, even though little dd won't, she will have those pics forever. Well good luck with whatever you decide, and don't feel guilty if you leave your little guy, like you said he'll have his chance to go.

 

[Becky2005]

I haven't read through all the posts but apparently I will be giving my kids something for therapy later in life as I am planning on taking each kid 1 at a time and leaving the other ones home *gasp*.

Honestly, at that age, they will have just as much fun on their own vacation.

I don't think I could do it as we don't take family vacations that often but I also have no one I could leave the little guy with for an extended period of time. Grandma can't take him for more than a day or two.

I'm always taking 1 kid somewhere that the other ones don't get to do...it's just a fact of life. Eventually, the other ones will get turns to go and then the older ones won't be joining us because they have their own lives. Should I not take my younger kids to Disney once my oldest is out of the house because then it wouldn't be a family vacation? That doesn't make any sense - it's the same concept in a different form.

 

[SadieDog]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with deciding to leave the little one with a loving caregiver. It may be a great bonding opportunity for him to have special time alone with this familymember which the 1st born always enjoyed until his birth. Certainly you will think of him and miss him but you will take him on future trips that he is sure to enjoy. We had friends that did this and it turned out great. Don't feel guilty, enjoy!

 

[Tink9748]

Two years ago we took our 8 year daughter and left our 2 1/2 year old twins behind with Grandma. We are doing it again this year. To them Grandma is better than Disney. Not once have they asked "Why didn't we get to go?" They will occasionally look at the pictures we took and talk to their sister about her trip but they have never complained about not going. We want to be able to enjoy all the rides and not have to switch off. Is this wrong? I'm sure to some people it is but for us it works. The twins know that when they get bigger they will be able to go to Disney also.

I missed them like crazy while we were gone but I also knew they were being well taken care of.

We always take them on a little "mini" vacation that is just about them. We pick a destination, and they get to pick where we eat and what we do. If they want to eat at McDonald's for every meal and play on a playground then that is what we will do.

Only you can decide what is best for your family. Everyone will have different opinions. I hope you decide what is best for you and have a great time on your trip whatever you decide.

 

[LBKMAMA]

This is a tough one...our first trip my dd was 1 and although we had diapers, stroller issue she was great except for characters. We went again a year later (2) and she was a handful. didn't like to be in stroller and wanted to go where her brothers were going. NOT Easy...

My sister has a boy the same age and went with us this past time so they were 2 ....she's opted to leave him home this time with grandpa and dad and she's coming with our mom and DD. I couldn't do it, but I can see her side too. Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[sully7]

I say "Go for what your heart really thinks is best!" I know that going to Disney and making it a special time for the kids who are old enough to remember is hard work! My 4 kids, at that age, would light up with joy at going to the mall! So WDW in their minds isn't as special as it is to older kids. And stopping fun stuff for naps may just make the older one a bit resentful.

That said... my youngest is getting ready for our upcoming trip by looking at pics of a one day MK visit we took when she was 1 yr old and we lived in FL. She swears that she remembers it! Those pics are making this trip more exciting! But the trip when she was little was hard (for me!) even for a 2 hour drive and 1 day at MK.

You sure have a dilemma! Whatever you choose it will be hard and it will be fun!!

 

[hbehrman]

As hard as it would be, I would leave him home...this time! I don't think *he would have a wonderful time with that much time spent in the car and just being that young. What a wonderful gift that would be for your older children to have some "big kid" time with thier parents too. We've taken both of our children on separate trips, leaving the other home. I've never regretted it.

This is exactly our thoughts. We are taking our twin four year old girls for their birthday fro a week at WDW an dmy in-laws are taking care of our to be 18 month year old son. My wife and I are looking forward to having "two on two" time with them and I think they will appreciate it. We have not told them we are going and we are taking the train overnight from Raleigh to Orlando which should be an adventure in itself.

 

[Rella Bella]

Thanks for all the replies, even the not so nice ones. We haven't made up our minds yet but I'm leaing towards leaving him with my parents. . On our last trip there, he was 5 months old and cried so much from being in the carseat. He does not like long car rides. We are on a trend now where we do Disney every year so I'm not worried about him not having a Disney vacation. My oldest is 7 years old and me and DH have not been away for more than a weekend by ourselves. By not bringing my son we will have more time, energy and patience to have fun with the older two. I'm even thinking we may be able to put the two in the Neverland Club so me and DH can have a romantic dinner.

Sounds like you are leaning toward what will work best for you.

Don't feel guilty about doing what's best for your family. I bet your two older kids will love having Dad & Mom to themselves and as for Neverland Club, I highly recomend it! We first left our son when he was 7 and he LOVES it! Now he begs to go! Darn.