Dilemma - getting a Great Dane, and my friend

[ChrisnSteph]

I've been wanting a Great Dane for quite some time, and my dh says "maybe" after he finishes the backyard. So I'm really excited about the possibility of one of these gentle giants becoming a part of our family. So I'm talking about it to one of my best friends last night, and she looks at me and says, "So do you not want me to come over to your house anymore?" She then goes on to tell me that she was bitten by a Dane when she was little and needed stitches, and that if we got one she wouldn't come around. I then asked her if it would matter if she got to know him as a puppy, maybe she'd get over her fear? And basically she said not a chance. She was kind of mean about it too. Now what irritates me is that she isn't even going to try. And while I want to be considerate of her feelings, I don't think it's fair that her fear should dictate what kind of dog I choose as a pet. So I don't know what to do. Am I wrong if I tell her that I don't think she's being reasonable by telling me to choose between her visits or having a Dane? Now it's one thing if she was attacked and brutally mauled by this breed of dog, but she wasn't. In fact, she tells me that she needed 51 stitches on her face, but she doesn't have a scar on her! She's one of the friends that overdramatizes and exagerates everything, and she's been known to tell a fib or two. And this is also the same friend who owned two VERY large, husky dogs (though I can't rememeber what they were, they were white, fluffy and HUGE). So I don't know what to do, but if she acts like this around my dh, he may just say no to me getting a Dane altogether. I should mention that this friend is not just a friend, but also very much like family to us. I love her, but I also love Danes and my heart has been set on getting one for a long time. Any advice on how to handle this?

 

[luvwinnie]

I think it's very unfair of her to not even try getting to know the dog as a puppy. I would not let such a person stop me from getting a Great Dane if that is your dream.

 

[disneylizzy]

I say get the Great Dane. They truly are gentle giants. I bet she will come around - who can resist a puppy?

 

[Blueeyes101817]

I wouldnt let someone keep me from getting a certain dog if thats what i wanted..
maybe when she comes over, let the dog play outside or in another area of the house?
we have a baby gate for our rottweiler, and if we have people over, we may put him in the office or another room whlie they are here

 

[Breezy_Carol]

Can't you get the dog and make sure it is crate trained so that when this friend comes you can either crate the dog or put the dog in the yard? My DD had a friend that was scared of all dogs so we just confined our 2 Shelties when she came to play. Seems like it would be easy enough to keep them apart and she doesn't have to live with the dog.

 

[dmslush]

It's your house and your dog. Tell her when she visits, you will put the dog up in a different room, but that is the best you are going to do.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Having had German Shepherds all my life I am used to some people being a little afraid of them and I respect their feelings. When they come to my house, the dogs go in their kennel. Fairly simple.

I don't know your friend but she sounds very controlling to me. I'd get the dog and tell her if she wants to jeopardize our friendship in this manner then maybe it wasn't as great a friendship as I thought it was. Any friend of mine would know how much my dogs mean to me - a little compromise would go a long way here IMO. aw:

 

[chager]

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. We had a person refuse to come over if our cats were loose becuase she was afraid of them. Not becuase she had ever been hurt by one she just had never been around them and developed an unhealthy fear of them. We solved the issue by putting them in the basement when she around.
Would it be possible to crate the dog or put it in another room whenever she visits? The way I see it is the dog will live with you 24/7, she doesn't. If she makes too big a deal of it suggest meeting her at other places. Although I would think keeping the dog in a seperate room while she visits should be enough. Good Luck!

 

[sleepyone]

I don't know how you should handle the situation. I just wanted to let you know that I was bitten by a dog during my high school years. I don't have a scar anymore. I was afraid of ALL dogs; even the tiny ones. I did not want a dog near me. I avoided houses/businesses (don't ask) with dogs if the owner wouldn't put the pet in a different room or hold an outside dog until I got inside, etc. If she was truly attacked by a dog, I totally understand.

I didn't like them jumping on me. It scared me. I got over my fear by being around a very old retriever that didn't "bother" me. If your friend is afraid of the particular breed of dog that you want, could you keep the puppy in a play yard (play pen) type thing while she visits? She could get used to being around it this way without it "bothering" her. Just an idea.

I hope that everything works out for you.

 

[chyam]

It's your house and your dog. Tell her when she visits, you will put the dog up in a different room, but that is the best you are going to do.

Exactly..........I would not let ANYONE dictate what breed of dog to get, especially since she does not live there. If she really is stuck on her ultimatium, tell her you will put the dog in another room,or outside, or in the crate but it sounds to me like she just doesn't want you to get the dog of your dreams, and may also be a little jealous. It's not as if this breed is one of the dangerous ones, I had a friend whose Dane weighed 200lbs and he was the nicest dog, and others who have had the little yappy ones who would bite you in a heartbeat.

 

[minkydog]

"Bitten and mauled" is sometimes in the eye of the beholder. I was attacked by two German Sheperds when I was about 10(not a mark on me now) and even though we owned a Saint Bernard at the time, I was deathly afraid of all other dogs for years. So I totally sympathize with your friends fear. However, her fear should not dictate what kind of dog you have. My best friend is terrified of my Standard Poodle, who I admit, can be rather intimidating(big teeth, hairy black 75lb sweety-furball.) She will not step foot in my house until she knows the dog is either outside or locked in his crate. So I accomodate her and we get along fine. Sounds like your friend is scared. I wouldn't be so hard on her. But it wouldn't keep me from having a Great Dane if that's what my heart was set on.

 

[Disney_1derland]

I was bitten by a chow when I was 8. It took off about half the skin on my face. I had 317 stitches. It was a horrifying experience. This was the family pet at a neighbors house, I had played with it on numerous occasions. One day, it just bit me, plain and simple.

As a child I did go through a fear of dogs and my parents would NOT let me go anywhere that had a chow. But....in high school a friend had one and I got to know her and got over it. It's a tough personal choice to make and it sounds like this friend has not made that choice.

You can't force her to make that choice but you can't let it dictate your life either. Just explain that you understand if she no longer wants to come over and it saddens you but you are getting the dog of your dreams and you're sorry for her bad experience. Let her choose how to react to that!

 

[barkley]

had a friend whose mom raised pure bred danes for sale. these were the most docile and gentle dogs! just a suggestion-if you get one as a puppy, don't get in the habit of letting it sit on your lap, they have VERY LONG memories and the ones we did this with would inevitably walk over (at full growth) and sit down on us

i don't know what to suggest re. your friend-i don't think you should let her dictate what breed you get, just perhaps have the dog secured in another area when she comes to visit.

 

[doxdogy]

Don't let her keep you from getting a Great Dane. I use to be terrified of Doberman's, bitten by one as a kid. Went to a dog show many years later and met some of the most gentle Doberman's and there went my fear.

 

[sissybells]

As you can see in my signature I own a Great Dane. I don't know what to tell you about your friend but knowing anyone is thinking about getting one of these breeds I have a few things to say. I hope you have done all your research on them before you get it. We made alot of mistakes with ours by not crate training, but the older he gets and the more beds we get for him there is no problem anymore with him wanting in the bed with us. Second I read a book before we got him and what I read they can literally die of a broken heart so always be kind. They do get their feelings hurt, even when me and DH get in an argument he will leave the room and think he is in trouble. They are also short haired dogs and I would not reccomend them to be outdoor dogs. Lastly their lifespan is only 8 years. Mine turned 8 this Christmas, the only thing that bothers him right now are his hips and he is on medication. When I read they only live 8 years I was shocked and I have to tell you those 8 years have flown by and I am so dreading the inevitable. If you have any more questions please ask. Also they are big dogs so since we didn't crate train when he was a puppy he would not go in a cage later, we are now in for a lifetime of when we are going to be away from home for more than 5 hours we have to schedule for a pet sitter. And when we go on vacation we can't put him in a kennel (mainly because I don't want him in there) so my Mom comes up and stays at our house to take care of him. Other than that he is our Baby and I wouldn't have let anyone tell me not to get him.

 

[inaminute]

I'd get the dog and tell her if she wants to jeopardize our friendship in this manner then maybe it wasn't as great a friendship as I thought it was.

I'd seriously consider this excellent advice.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Thanks for all the advice! I don't want to be insensitive to her feelings, but I guess I'm just irritated because she implied that she won't even TRY to like my dog. She's not scared of dogs - she owned two humongous dogs that are almost as big as a dane. It almost seemed as if she wanted me to feel bad or guilty for choosing a Dane because of her experience with one. I guess you just had to be there to witness the conversation to really know what I'm talking about. When the time comes I may just use the advice in the above post. If the shoe were on the other foot, I would at least try. I'm going to get my Dane as a puppy, so you would think that she would at least try to get to know him. I also want this dog to be a member of our family, and this friend and her family are over at our house A LOT, so I don't want to have to lock him up every single time they come over.

 

[4greatboys]

I would get one if thats what your family wants. Im sure if she does visit you wouldnt mind putting the dog out back or in another room til she is gone.

 

[Mad4Mickey]

I volunteer for Great Dane Rescue here in the Dallas area , I also had one that lived to be 16 ! VERY old for a DANE trust me ...

They are very gentle dogs , I work at a emergency vet clinic and I can tell you I have never been bitten by a Dane not even one that was hurt and in pain .
Our Website has a ton of really great information on it please check it out before geting one . I THINK YOU SHOULD . Your friend will get over it , this is a dog that you have wanted for a long time and you should get one .They are great with kids I raised both of mine around them .
DaneAngelnetwork.com check it out

 

[Zurealsoon]

Lastly their lifespan is only 8 years. Mine turned 8 this Christmas, the only thing that bothers him right now are his hips and he is on medication. When I read they only live 8 years I was shocked and I have to tell you those 8 years have flown by and I am so dreading the inevitable. .

The larger the dog, the shorter the lifespan. My sis owned a Russian Wolfhound-Borzoi-he was a joy, but lived a short life also.