Dilemma-DD not really into going back

[disneyfan2]

Well i have to say i have a "spirited " 11yr old who does not know that i have booked a girls trip for Dec with her younger sister. She has been 3 times before last time Feb 2008. A friend is planning a family trip and was asking us for some advice. Afterwards we talked about going back in the future and although she said yes, she really doesn't seem interested. I asked her where her favorite places to eat, and she said she doesn't care.... except Chef Mickeys which i cannot get anyways. We talked about all the restaurants we went in the past and she was not into any of them . Did not like(GG, Cystal Palace, 1900 park fare, or the CASTLE ) She said is not into princess(which i get, she is outgrowing that stage, but her little sister still loves it) I mentioned how it would be nice to go during XMAS season as many characters are dressed festive, her respone (BIG DEAL-who wants to see characters????) OMG_ i was stunned, she really enjoyed them last trip so this seems to be coming out of no where. I said Disney is about the MAGIC. She laughed. She was not interested in shows, did not like any we went to last trip. She said she only wants to go for the rides. Well i told her then why spend money and vacation time on a trip when we can just do our local Theme parks, as they have bigger and more roller coasters. Me on the other hand LOVE seeing characters, and watching little kids interact with them , I love the meals and character meals but she doesn't want pictures with them anymore. Yet, her sister will be too shy to pose without them?

So, now i thinking maybe we over-did Disney and she lost interest. If she keeps this attitude up she will end up spoiling the fun for her little sister.

So now i ask, should i continue our plans, or cancel. They have no idea we were planning this trip anyways. I want to see all the holidays decorations and light shows etc, but i know she will not, and make it obvious. There is only some much i can ignore her before it affects me

HELP and suggestions pls!!!!!

 

[RMAMom]

I don't think you have a "spirited" 11 yr old. What you have is a pre- teen.

Her attitude seems normal and after surviving three of them myself my advise would be to ignore her. If you make a big deal about her not being into it she won't have an "out" in the parks. She will have to hold onto her moodiness. Chances are she will get there and have a blast just like last time. Sometimes they can be very hard to ignore but I have found it to be the best way to handle it when they get into that funk. If they want to be miserable let them because trying to cheer them up or get them to have fun and enjoy can just ruin it for everyone. She'll come around when you get there, enjoy your trip!

 

[Nancyg56]

Years ago we invited my DH nephew to come with us on our Disney trip. he was 17 and very "grown up' and better traveled than I could have ever hoped to be. We had saved and saved to take my kids on their first ever big vacation. He did not want to come but he was living with us at the time. He was a nightmare before we left, he had thought we would leave him alone at home. No dice. He had his choice of relatives to stay with or he could come with us. He came but had been determined to not like it, he had been "so many times". He had a blast. We had explained that the kids would feel badly if he was unhappy but that was not the reason he enjoyed it. He took a role in making sure that the younger ones had a magical trip. He had such a good time in spite of his teenage self.

You could do the same with your DD, explain to her that you understand how she feels but that her sister still enjoys the Disney experience and that you would appreciate it if she would take part in helping to make this trip magical for her. Big sisters really step up when they know you are asking them to participate.

You could also take her someplace with just the two of you. My DH had rented the boats for the two of them to enjoy together. His nephew never asked for any special treatment but it was nice to be able to show him that we had recognized that he stepped up and that he deserved to be special too.

 

[mjkacmom]

My dd was 11 the last time we went, and it was a surprise trip. Every time I mentioned how cool it would be to go back to WDW, she informed me that she was not interested, and wanted to go to Hawaii. However, she was totally into everything on the trip (enough that she kept texting her friends about how much fun she was having ). She got really into tinkerbell, and traded pins for tink pins. Alas, we came home, and she evolved into a sulky teen - this might be your last chance!

 

[Minniemama350]

I agree with the above posts. It is the age. Also, Preteens hear other kid's opinions on things sometimes and are very willing to assume that opinion if it is the "way everyone feels". Reality: someone probably bugged their own folks to go, got no for an answer and now they're going to say how lame it is. My own kids have fallen into this trap in different ways. It is not weak-mindedness, but that they are trying to figure out how to be accepted.

 

[badblackpug]

I agree with the PP. He is not "spirited" she is 11. She is trying to act cool and grown up. Surprise her she will have a blast. ahhh...adolescence...the 6 year psychosis!

 

[disneyfan2]

thanks for the responses, i think it was what i needed to here. I know she really wants to try RnR at DHS but she will have to go it alone, as i won;t be able to leave my younger one. So, it could be an opportunity, knowing that she can go on it this time, or turn into a battle, because she wont' want to do it alone, then blame it on sister(she is know for doing that ) I guess i will try and plan our meals without characters as she did not like any of the food, but will still do CRT dinner for my youngest. NO princesses walking around and my youngest will still get experience of it.

Hopefully i will luck out with CM as that is her only request. Because i am the only adult this trip i was making it about them and where they want to get. Ususaly there are others with us, so i did my best planning to do soemthing for everyone, now this trip is all up to them, i am easy going. EXCEPT i really want to see Tink, and i know she will NOT Be into that, especially if we have to wait long.

thanks for the encouragement, and knowing the fact that in a few years, she will be beyond this stage.... BUT then my youngest will just be starting it NOW WHERE TO GET A GOOD DRINK IN WDW

 

[Hannathy]

Not everyone likes the characters or wants to get their pictures with them. We have been there numerous times and only 1 trip did we get in line to see any of the characters and that was when she was 4 for autographs.(she's 17 now) the last trip we didn't see or take a picture of a single character and still had a blast. We have only been to 1 character meal and still love Disney. We also don't do TS except for the year we had the free DP. So every one does Disney differently.

Sounds like it is time for your younger daughter to quit relying on her big sister and develop interests on her own. If she wants a character pic she will have to do it alone or not get one, it is never too soon to build self reliance and esteem and backbone. Let big sis wait off to the side or take the pic but don't force her to like it just cause her sister does, she'll be going off and doing things without lil sis very soon as it is so never to soon too foster that independence for the little one.

The rides at Disney really aren't like an amusement park, I agree with her there.
She is growing up and developing her own likes even if sometimes they aren't exactly the way we would like them to be.

 

[flying_babyb]

give her a job. this works wonders with my aunts kids who dont like our vacation choice this year (9 and 11) so we picked a job for them both. The youngest is in charge of the pressed penny list and the oldest is in charge of the metro map (and finding our stops.... With adult intervention if she gets lost to much). There both horibally exicited about there jobs and being "in charge". I would suggest you look or think back to something your daughter enjoyed last vacation and give her a job based on that.

 

[ddoconnell]

Your beautiful daughter is just entering the it's not cool to do anything with the family stage It will drive you crazy, but you will survive. My now 23 year old DS would kinda roll his eyes when we would plan the next WDW trip when he was that age but he always had a great time when we got there Just try to plan things that all of you will enjoy at different times and enjoy making memories with your daughters We head off soon on our first trip without my DS...he is bummed because he has to work But we are planning stuff for just my 12 year old DD and she is psyched Have a fantastic trip and remember that tween drama will pass

 

[snoopy5386]

I would let her in on the secret now...provided she won't tell youunger sis. Get her involved in the planning what kind of stuff does she want to do? Maybe your youngest could do the pirate cruise at the grand floridian one day and you and older DD can go get manicures or something a little more "grown up".

 

[aka-mad4themouse]

Well i have to say i have a "spirited " 11yr old who does not know that i have booked a girls trip for Dec with her younger sister. She has been 3 times before last time Feb 2008. A friend is planning a family trip and was asking us for some advice. Afterwards we talked about going back in the future and although she said yes, she really doesn't seem interested. I asked her where her favorite places to eat, and she said she doesn't care.... except Chef Mickeys which i cannot get anyways. We talked about all the restaurants we went in the past and she was not into any of them . Did not like(GG, Cystal Palace, 1900 park fare, or the CASTLE ) She said is not into princess(which i get, she is outgrowing that stage, but her little sister still loves it) I mentioned how it would be nice to go during XMAS season as many characters are dressed festive, her respone (BIG DEAL-who wants to see characters????) OMG_ i was stunned, she really enjoyed them last trip so this seems to be coming out of no where. I said Disney is about the MAGIC. She laughed. She was not interested in shows, did not like any we went to last trip. She said she only wants to go for the rides. Well i told her then why spend money and vacation time on a trip when we can just do our local Theme parks, as they have bigger and more roller coasters. Me on the other hand LOVE seeing characters, and watching little kids interact with them , I love the meals and character meals but she doesn't want pictures with them anymore. Yet, her sister will be too shy to pose without them?

So, now i thinking maybe we over-did Disney and she lost interest. If she keeps this attitude up she will end up spoiling the fun for her little sister.

So now i ask, should i continue our plans, or cancel. They have no idea we were planning this trip anyways. I want to see all the holidays decorations and light shows etc, but i know she will not, and make it obvious. There is only some much i can ignore her before it affects me

HELP and suggestions pls!!!!!

Ask yourself who this trip is for. Are you taking it because you want to see Disney at Christmas time? Or because you want to see your DDs enjoying the holidays at WDW? Or because you want to do something that you and your DDs can enjoy together?

I'll be the voice of dissent here. I've BTDT with a teenager who was too cool to enjoy Disney. It's not fun. In fact, I let it ruin my trip. In retrospect, I realize that I gave him the power to steal my enjoyment from me. If you're not the type to be able to just shake off a teen's attempts to get under your skin, I would recommend canceling the trip or going without her. It's a lot of money to spend on the chance that she will eventually come around.