did your son in law ask your permission to marry your daughter? and how?

[Grumpy's Gal]

ok --I want to hear your stories.

Did your son in law (or son in law to be) ask your permission to marry your daughter and how did he do it?

Were you surprised? and how long did you have to keep the secret?

 

[scottishduffy]

I know my DH went to ask my parents for my hand about 3-4 months before proposing. My parents lived 2 hours away at that point. He called them up and asked them to meet him for lunch one day. Of course, my parents knew what was coming when the man I had been dating for 5 yrs randomly calls them up and asks them out for lunch without me. They had lunch together and at the end of the meal he asked my father for my hand. My mom counts this as one of only 2 times she has seen my father cry. They of course said yes and about 3-4 months later he proposed.

 

[tigercat]

My son in law asked both my husband and I. It was so sweet. He asked to come and see us and since he had never done that before we knew something was happening. He was so sweet and it was so nice. He proposed to her that night. My dh asked my father for permission before he asked me but I knew that he was going to be asking. He made him sit there for 10 min before answering him.
tigercat

 

[ilovemk76]

My husband did not ask my parents to marry me. It was my decision alone to make.

What your daughter have done if you said no?

 

[maelstrom]

My husband wanted to ask my dad, but I told him not to, as it's my decision to make. I have a wonderful relationship with my dad, but he doesn't own me, you know.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

He made him sit there for 10 min before answering him.
tigercat

oh my gosh!!

 

[kelleigh1]

My mother and I tried to talk my husband into asking my father, but he was embarassed and didn't ask.

Then when he proposed, I called my mother and she told me to put him on the phone and then she put my Dad on the phone and my Dad said "I heard there was something you wanted to ask me."

 

[M5ward]

Our one son-in-law did ask..and we , of course, said yes, but no returns.

 

[Mrs D]

My DH called my on a Tuesday and asked for my Mom's phone number. I didn't ask any questioned. On Thursday we were chatting and I asked if he wanted to get together that night and his only response was "No, I can't". Nothing else. In the entire time we had dated he never behaved that way. I had a sneaking suspicion. He proposed the following Saturday!

 

[bellarella]

If a boyfriend were to ask us, I would hope my daughter would say no when he got around to asking her! Any guy who thought permission for marriage should be sought wouldn't be the kind of guy we'd want our daughter marrying.

 

[tigercat]

iluvmk he knew that we were going to say yes and that it just was a respect thing. We had know him for years and he knew what we thought of him. They have been married almost 15 yrs and have 3 kids. 2 I look after while they work and the oldest is in school, although I get her as well when there is a break at school. I love them all.
tigercat

 

[minkydog]

Our one son-in-law did ask..and we , of course, said yes, but no returns.

Yeah, i'm gonna use that line on my future daughter-in-law!

Seriously, though, i don't expect my either of my children's fiances to come ask for permission. If they're old enough to get married, they sure don't need my vote. That's the way DH & I did it. My dad had abandoned our family and my mom was in her I Hate Men phase, so we were on our own. Best decision we ever made. We managed to pull a small inexpensive wedding together in 2 weeks and the marriage has lasted 30 years. We got our monies worth

 

[dngnb8]

ok --I want to hear your stories.

Did your son in law (or son in law to be) ask your permission to marry your daughter and how did he do it?

Were you surprised? and how long did you have to keep the secret?

The current SIL no. But they lived across the country from me so it didnt matter. However, when my DD30 was my DD18, her then BF asked me, and I said no.

It started out like this

Him: Mr T

Me: Yes

Him: Can we have a man to man talk?

Me: Yes, call me when youre a man.

It went downhill from there for him. The story is family lore.

 

[Ember]

If a boyfriend were to ask us, I would hope my daughter would say no when he got around to asking her! Any guy who thought permission for marriage should be sought wouldn't be the kind of guy we'd want our daughter marrying.

I always said that if any man ever asked anyone but me for my hand in marriage, he could expect a resounding "no." I find the concept offensive.

Just to irritate me, though, my mother did e-mail DH a picture of a goat after we got engaged and told him it was my dowery. The running joke for a while after that was how many goats I was worth...

 

[SaraJayne]

DH and I just had this conversation this evening, as our favorite niece got engaged yesterday.

Her boyfriend has become part of our family for the last six years, and out of respect for her parents, he did ask her Dad for his permission. He asked a few months ago and has been carrying the ring around with him since then. He proposed on her Dad's birthday.

DH did not ask my parent's permission, and I preferred it that way.

 

[Pakey]

Not one of our 3 sons did this. It's not consistent with how they were raised.

 

[marie1203]

DH asked my dad and my dad was very surprise his answer was "I guess" . Now My dad loves DH.

 

[prncess674]

Asking is a sign of a time gone by. My lovely BIL called and told my Dad a heartfelt story of how he loved my sis and wanted his blessing. Of course he said yes.


The sweetest story is my 60-something year old widowed aunt. She fell in love with a great guy and her BF (of similar age) wanted to marry my aunt. My grandparents (dad and aunt's parents) have long passed and her fiancé called my Dad and asked for her hand in marriage before formally asking. Of course it is old fashioned and silly but I think it is totally sweet and cute that he included the family.

 

[stargazer2892]

DH did not tell anyone that he was going to ask me, not even his mom who he's super close with. I think possibly his best friend may have known before hand because he is the person who married us and had to start the process of becoming ordained.

 

[Happy Mom2]

DH asked my dad. I know it meant the world to my Daddy, but he just told DH "if she wants to." My dad told my mom that he told DH "I couldn't imagine a better man for my daughter." LOL! My dad knew it was my decision, but it was a sign of respect to my dad.