Did your children grow up to be budget minded?

[disneydreamersx4]

I hope my kids learn from my example of pinching pennies

Took DD-13 to buy a gift for her boyfriend (they only text LOL)
for Valentine's day. She didn't want the baseball cap for $5 at Cabela's. Ok, maybe she has a point if her bf doesn't hunt or fish. So at the mall she wasn't finding anything until she remembered her bf wants to get a headphone/microphone from the Apple Store. It was $29
she was going to pay that much until she listened to me and I told her that was too much to pay why not get him a $15 gift card to the Apple store.
I hope she will think twice about her future purchases especially if I'm not there to guide her.

 

[FINFAN]

they sure did! DD has introduced her college friends to the benefits of dorm decor and college needs thru Goodwill DS does not spend unless he has to, basically putting everything he has toward gas for the car , takes his lunch to high school every day, rarely goes to movie etc. Matter of fact, we have almost had to push them at times, that ti was ok to go to the movies, or McD's "just because" to hang with firends, socialize. If they would like a big ticket item, they save for it. DS has been saving a long time for a smart phone, he has a 4 year old clamshell that he takes serious ribbing for, but his friends won't be paying for the new phone so.....yeah, I am very proud of them!

 

[pixiewings71]

DD23 (on Wed) is getting married in August, we went dress shopping this weekend....her dress was 50% off so with the garment bag it was $350!!!! My 2 younger DD's are both in the wedding, my sister's DD13 is as well, we found the perfect Jr Bridesmaids dresses on sale for $60, DD23 loves the color so we grabbed them! She runs their household on a dime, everything for the wedding will be homemade or very inexpensive to make or purchase, I'm doing all the wedding jewelry myself, all on a budget. So yes, she learned that from me.
DD14 just doesn't want much of anything, she's perfectly happy wearing her clothes and shoes until they fall apart. lol She's not much of a shopper but when she does shop she looks at sales and clearance items.
DD11 likes to shop and is always looking for the best bang for her buck. She rarely buys anything at full price and if she's looking at something that is full price she will say "Hey Mom, do you have a coupon for this?" LOL
I'm hoping they learn the importance of smart shopping as well as their older sister has.

 

[cglaura]

DD 19 just told me about her friend who was crazy in love with the new Burberry (sp?) scarf...to the tune of about $250. DD wanted to say something to her, but her friend was really loving the purchase and was not being snooty about it...just really happy.

But, DD told me all she kept thinking to herself was, "I could get around 30 outfits at Ross for that!"

That furthered the conversation into the idea that someone might say that about her tech filled room. She has a collection of systems from Sega Genesis, Atari, xbox... up to a new PS3.

It all depends on what that $250 does to make you happy and what you will get out of the purchase.

She was brought up to put 1/2 of whatever she received as gifts into her savings account. She still does that with gifts and saves about 80% of her paycheck (living at home, going to school, not too many expenses as they fall into my household budget instead...which is really "our" household budget single mom/only child).

 

[IUTBAM]

Yes!

My 17 y/o DD is more of a penny pincher than I am! And that's saying a LOT. We had been giving her $65 a month for allowance, but she told us to stop because she doesn't need money...she rarely spends anything! She will mull over any purchase FOREVER, and is always looking for the cheapest alternative. I even found myself explaining to her that sometimes you don't want the cheapest thing you can get.

She does have a few "vices"...she loves shoes, especially boots, but she always looks for them on sale, and gets so excited to visit the clearance room at DSW. She is also a clothes horse. But, I would say half of her wardrobe comes from Goodwill (we only buy name-brand things for her at Goodwill...usually American Eagle, A&F, Gap, Express, etc), and the other half from Express or Kohls' when we have discounts.

Last year for Christmas I surprised her with a 32 gb iPod Touch...she was shocked! She shook her head and said, "you shouldn't have spent that much money", but I was happy to see that after a few days, she really seem tickled that she had one. But I see another argument looming..I told her when she goes to college I'm getting her a smartphone (she uses a Tracfone prepaid now), and she said, "no way, I like my Tracfone", lol. The apple didn't fall far from the tree, that's for sure!

 

[ancestry]

My mom is a true penny pincher and I have to admit that I am the exact opposite. I always thought my mom was ridiculous saving everything all the time. She rarely enjoyed anything and rarely splurged. Vacations never happened because she had to save for the future.

I just never bought into that philosophy. I'm all for being financially stable and not being in debt but I like to enjoy my life. I like to take vacations. I like to buy nice things once in a while. Now I do cut corners in some areas like we buy most of our clothes from the Salvation Army on 50% off day. What I save on clothes alone for 6 people during a year helps us to afford to take a vacation. But if it was my mother she would have banked that savings not spent it on something else.

My kids (I have four of them) vary. None are real penny pinchers. My son can save pretty well when he wants to. My oldest daughter has NO self control with money at all.

 

[Pakey]

DS35 is a saver; DS32 and DS30 are not.

 

[sk!mom]

It all depends on what that $250 does to make you happy and what you will get out of the purchase.

Very good point and exactly what I hope to have taught my children.

DH and I are very frugal in some areas- only buy low mileage used cars and then drive them until there's no good left in them, never traded up houses- choosing instead to pay off our modest 1800 square foot home. We did splurge last year and fully remodel our house. We have a couple of splurge areas in our budget though- travel and DD pursues an expensive extracurricular activity.

I hope that my children have learned to set up a budget that allows them to enjoy the things that bring them happiness while living within their means. Be frugal in some areas, save, plan for the future and then enjoy your splurges guilt free.

My DS26 has learned this. He lives near work and doesn't own a car. He chooses to spend his money on travel and a couple of expensive hobbies. He doesn't have a family so this works for him and he's happy.

DD14 loves things. She's a good little saver for the things that she wants but right now she values clothes, shoes, purses- stuff - more than anyone else in the family. Hopefully she's learning to match her budget and splurges.

They are both different from DH and I. Neither of us could imagine living without a car and we do not place much value on clothes but both believe strongly that everyone has to find their own balance.

 

[farmermr]

Until I met my wife, I was an awful saver, awful with money, awful with credit cards, because that's how I grew up. My wife, on the other hand, was very responsible and saved and very rarely splurged, because thats how she grew up. I've changed my ways and have turned all my issues around, and now we're teaching our little one about saving and how it all works. She's got her little piggy bank that everyone helps her to feed, and once the piggy gets full we take out the money and count it together, and then it goes into her own savings account. Hopefully she will not make the mistakes that I did, at least we're starting her early!

 

[collegejunkie]

i used to splurge on a lot of things but then i realized that there were things i'd rather spend money on. i would rather go on vacation and see and experience things than have a new bag every other week. i'm not one to get dressed up or wear heels, so i'm sure that helps. my trade offs are i go to a (great) private school and i like to go on trips. when my mom asks what i want for birthdays or whatever, i tell her to save it to take me somewhere on break because i'd rather DO things than have things. i'd also rather spend time with my family since i'm not home anymore. that said, when i'm older and on my own, if i'm financially stable, i won't mind spending money on material items as long as i think i'm getting a good deal on them.

 

[bigmama67]

Well, we're working on it...DS earns money through his behavior chart and gets a quarter for each magnet at the end of the week. He can earn extra magnets for extra chores (there are some regular jobs he has) and for good academic results like perfect spelling tests. Each week he has to put away $1 to save e and $1 to spend, and the rest is his to do with as he likes. He has become more goal oriented and saved up enough to buy a Moon In My Room (which looks really cool!) and $37 towards a $50 Lego White House set (then a friend gave him the other $13 for his birthday). Now he wants to get a $100 Lego Rocket and he already has over $16 saved! I'm proud of him, it's a good start.

When we go to a store and he wants something I tell him since it's not his birthday or Hanukkah, he is free to spend his own $ and he usually changes his mind VERY fast!

If he doesn't change his mind, that's OK, but we reserve our right to veto things that are junk or totally inappropriate. Really hasn't been a problem so far. He was 8 in December, BTW.

 

[catgirl]

7 yr old niece spends a lot of time with me, has since she was born. She knows that our purchases must be on sale and we have to have a coupon. She went shopping with her dad's girlfriend and she gave her a rough time everytime she put something in the grocery cart that wasn't on sale. She asked her "Do you really need that, can it wait til it's on sale?"

I've taught her to well! She received a gift card from her out of state grandmother for Christmas. I took her shopping to spend it and the poor kid agonized over weather or not the toys she wanted were a good deal. I told her that grandma wanted her to buy what she wanted and not to worry about the cost (as long as it didn't go over her card amount). She still made sure that she only spent half, because what if she wanted something later?

I hope this frugalness follows her through her life. Her dad is a spend thrift and lives only for the day. There is no plans or savings for the future.

 

[ToddyLu]

My brother (40) and I (42) grew up in a frugal household. We had family vacations to the beach camping growing up. My Mother saved up her extra money for a trip to Europe for me in 1985. I babysat that year and earned my $750 spending money. My brother mowed yards, regularly and bought his own Sunfish sailboat at 14, then a Hobie cat a couple of summers later. We each had a car given to us by Grandmothers, we put gas in them and helped my father pay for insurance and tag. I never remember asking Daddy for money as a teenager. Mama made sure my brother and I had a few extras. I remember winning at Bingo one night and we used that to pay for a cheerleading outfit in elementary school. We each had a college savings account that my father put money into each pay period. So in 1986 mine was about $14,000 and my brothers a bit more since he had a couple of years to go. We used every penny. Now Dh and I own DVC and take my MIL and will take my parents for their first trip to Kidani this year--on us. I enjoy doing things for them that are little extras. My brother also pays for things like dinners out and such for our parents.

So I think we grew up responsibly and appreceiative of most of our things.

The one thing my Dad did that made a real impact on me for budgeting was weekly trips to the grocery store using a list and sticking to it.

and.....

For several years I balanced the checkbook. Daddy showed me how and would help me if I was a penny off. I knew how much he made and where the money went...how much for mortgage, utilities and groceries. Of course this stayed at the kitchen table but I loved helping him and it made me feel important. My mother was paid in cash and she had an envelope system. Looking back I wonder how they did so much for us in those days...

 

[njmom47]

My dds, yes....ds, no...not yet.
DDs will go shopping but tell me "I got this on sale 40% off." Oldest dd has actually been going to Goodwill and buying stuff (the Goodwill she goes to is near a few fairly wealthy towns, so I'm sure there are plenty of quality items, although she is not the label-concious one in the house...2nd dd is!)
DS will make money at his part time job and spend it on food or a new video game.
But they all see me with my coupons, and I brag how much I save when I go grocery shopping. I have always encouraged them to have a savings account as well.

 

[tink2dw]

Yes Dd the girl who had Birthday and Christmas money running through her fingers, Now is very very Budget Minded she counts ever penny adds up and subtracts everything and checks her balances. She Saves for things she wants! She says she learned it from me!

She paid for things she wanted, to help us with our last Disneyland trip. She budgeted, saved, and was able to have the money ready as I planned the trip.

 

[disneychic2]

Now they are. My two dds are members of the "grocery game" and clip coupons and safe an unreal amount on their groceries. My one dd wants a Wii but won't buy it b/c she doesn't need it. Her DH isn't so frugal, so they are trying to get to common ground. My two ds(s) are pretty good with their money, but one who is married eat out a lot and buy pretty much what they want. They do save also, but could be a lot more. They just built a new home, so they are tightening their budget a bit more since there are so many expenses when you move into a new home.

It takes time for it to sink in sometimes. When they were growing up, they got an allowance and had to save for things they just "wanted". Many times they did that, many times they decided they didn't really need that item! (I also gave no "advances")

 

[SleepyatDVC]

My DD12 was having trouble spending virtual money for a school project. I think they had a budgeted amount of money for a party or something.

It wasn't real money and yet she couldn't spend it freely. Why have an "imaginary" party out when it could be so much cheaper to have one at home. Why spend money on themed paper cups and plates when generic colored ones could be bought at the Dollar Store or better yet, use real plates and cups at home and wash.

I had to convince her to SPEND the FAKE money on the FAKE party. Because I wasn't going to host her FAKE party at home. LOL!!! I told her that the project was about the math and budgeting and she wouldn't be learning or completing the project if she spent $0.

 

[Soben]

I wonder how much of it is innate in the kids regardless of what we do as parents. Have you heard about the marshmallow experiment where they told 4 y.o.s that you can eat this marshmallow now or wait 10 minutes (forever in kid-time) and have 2. Whether they decided to wait was a big predictor of their ability to delay gratification as adults.

My DS (9) is very generous and I'm not, I try to take his example in giving and rein him in only when it's something for him.

 

[DAD21]

Budget minded, probably not, as it is not always wise to buy the most inexpensive. Understanding the differece between need and want, absolutely. They will save far more money understanding that concept.

 

[MomToOne]

Don't stress too much if your children don't appear to be savers or budget minded at first.

My parents put 5 kids through college all on one income. And had a great nest egg for retirement. I learned how to pinch pennies til they screamed from my Dad.

But I didn't always apply it. When I was young and single and had no one depending on me, I spent $$$ with the best of them. I saved a fair amount, but not nearly as much as I could have. I loved designer clothes, Coach bags, and travelling on the drop of a hat to Europe. I was young and free, and had a blast.

But then DD10 came along. 2 years of unemployment during the .dot com bust. A move to finally get back into the workforce. A decision to go into a slightly different area of IT because I hated the area I was working in, and a pay cut with it. All of that added up to a WHOLE lot less money. My free-wheeling lifestyle came to an end and I now had to fall back on everything my Dad taught me. And I HAD learned, so it wasn't hard to figure out what I needed to do and do it.

So give your kids time. They ARE hearing what you are saying, they may just be choosing not to listen right now

(And I don't regret my younger days at all - it allowed me to get it all of out of my system, and learn what really matters in life!!)