Did I Do The Right Thing?!

What Should I Have Done?

  • Paid for only the kids invited to the party

  • Paid for the invited kids and their siblings

  • Paid the tab for the kids invited, their siblings and the parents


Results are only viewable after voting.

Daxx

<font color=red>I can tie a knot in a cherry stem
Joined
Apr 8, 2003
Messages
6,576
Here's the story ...

DS wanted his bday at Dave & Busters and wanted to invite two of his school friends. We happen to be good friends w/the parents of the kids. Both families each have one sibling. So, I invite the two boys. On the phone, I stated that the invite was for the boys. Both parents ask if they should drop their boy off or if they need to stay. I said either was fine ... whatever they wanted to do. One set of parents said they were going to stay and hang out, so the other set decided to do the same. The siblings came along, too (which I suspected would happen). So, I buy the game cards for the two kids invited as well as their siblings (who, technically weren't invited but were there). When it came time to order, we put the food and drinks for DH, DS and myself as well as the two boys invited on our tab. The parents and siblings also ordered food and drinks and those were put on a separate tab which the parents picked up themselves.

When the bill came, I paid for DH, DS, the two boys and myself. Since the waitress put all three bills together, I saw the other two bills. They weren't cheap.

Here's the thing ... now I feel terrible for not picking up the whole tab or at least the siblings food order. Dave & Busters can be pricey. DH says not to worry about it, that the boys were invited and not the siblings and the parents could've opted to either drop them off or not eat and they knew the prices and could've chosen to opt out if they wanted to. However, I think we either should have paid the entire tab or at least paid for the siblings. And, the parents did not complain about it and both even said that I wasn't to pick up their tab or the siblings. But, I feel like they put out a lot of cash that they might not have put out otherwise. DH says they knew that only the boys were invited and the parents knew what they were getting into when they ordered.

What are your thoughts?!?! This is the first time we've run into this problem b/c bday parties in the past have always been pizza and the go-kart track where we've had more kids and adding a sibling in wasn't a huge expense.
 
Did I miss the subject?


MIkeeee
 

aaahhh.. there's the poll! hmmm... When my kids invite their friends to Chuck E. Cheese or Ceasarland or Laser Quest, usually the friends stays and not the siblings. I just can't imagine paying for all of their siblings to stay at the party. Instead of paying like $300, I would probably going to end up paying even more. I think the parents have enough sense and more considerate to parents who are especially on a budget. The parents know not to have their siblings stay. I suppose they can stay, but they have to get their own table or booth and order their own stuff and get their own tokens. This is just my opinion.. especially when you are on a budget.
 
ahhhh... now the whole story. I probably would have told the staff to get me 3 seperate bills even after the check is printed out. Don't feel too guilty for not paying for their tabs. Some of us are in a tight budget. They know that you invited the boys only. They wanted to come and stay. They should pay for their own tabs. I wouldn't worry about it. If they are understanding people, then no need to worry, if not, then they are being inconsiderate. They just can't invite themselves and expect you to pick up their tabs.
 
I think I accidently voted wrong. I wanted to vote just pay for invited guests, but I think I pushed the middle one.

I'm sure the parents fully expected to pay their own way and the uninvited sibling's way. I would have. You were generous to give the uninvited boys game cards. I think you handled it well.
 
Why are you beating yourself up? The parents were clear as to who was invited to the party. They wanted to come and hang out. They know what D&B is like. If they didn't want to eat then they probably wouldn't have. I wouldn't worry about it!

I hope everyone had fun! It sounds like a great idea for a party!

Happy Birthday to your DS!


HC
 
I'm confused - are these little kids who couldn't have been left without their parents? If they are 6 and under, yeah, I guess I'd pay for everyone. But if they're older and you know the parents, they should have been comfortable leaving their son with you. You aren't under any obligation to pay for their meal.

If I read that right - you bought game cards for the un-invited siblings? That was very generous of you. That's as far (or farther) than I would have gone!
 
You should have only paid for the 2 boys invited to the party.

Sounds like the parents knew and understood this and had no problem paying for themselves and the other sibling. :thumbsup2
 
When my older son gets invited to Chuck E Cheese for a party, I don't feel comfortable leaving him yet. So I stay with my younger son-besides he likes to go too. I buy our own tokens, pizza and drinks and sit at a separate table near the party. I'm sure the other parents just figured it would be a fun night out and I doubt they had a problem picking up their own tab.
 
No way should you have paid for the siblings. You did fine!! :thumbsup2
 
I'd pay for the people I invited. If you do the inviting, you pay. As for the rest...they would have to pony up the dough.

ETA: I just realized that this forces me into the position of having to side with the man in this happy disagreement...and I don't like siding with the man. Please make future posts easier for me to be on YOUR side. Thanks. :teeth:
 
Around here parents NEVER stay for the party! We drop them at the door and come back when we are told, wow there is no way I would pay for parents or siblings. You already payed more than I or anyone here would pay by paying for the siblings to play. Go have some wine and forget about it to next year! then don't even pay for uninvited siblings.
 
I wouldn't worry about it you paid for those you invited. I don't think the parents expected you to pay for them.
 
Beth76 said:
When my older son gets invited to Chuck E Cheese for a party, I don't feel comfortable leaving him yet. So I stay with my younger son-besides he likes to go too. I buy our own tokens, pizza and drinks and sit at a separate table near the party. I'm sure the other parents just figured it would be a fun night out and I doubt they had a problem picking up their own tab.

I agree with Beth, this is how I think siblings should be handled in a birthday setting.

I don't think you did the wrong thing necessarily. I guess neither picking up the tab for everyone or only for the invited guests is the wrong thing. It was totally your choice and honestly, in the same situation I think I might have handled it like you did. It would depend on how much my tab was!
 
I think it's customary to only pay for those you invited.

There are 7 people in your poll so far who thought otherwise and voted either you should have paid for the invited kids and their siblings or paid the tab for the kids invited, their siblings, and the parents. :confused3
 
You are only obligated to pay for the kids who were invited. The other parents were right to tell you not to pay their bill, I would have never expect you to cover the family too. It was their choice to stay and enjoy the evening.
 
I would never expect a party host to pay for me or anyone in my family that decided to stay at a place like that by MY choice. I would have done the exact same thing you did, except I wouldn't have bought the game cards or what ever for the siblings. Most people here wouldn't have stayed for the party anyway but still, you shouldn't have to pick up the bill if they choose to stay.
 
I think you were generous enough to buy the game cards for the siblings. For those of you who aren't familiar with Dave & Busters, it's like a more grown up Chuck E Cheese. It's geared for older kids and adults. And it is pricey. I think the parents expected to pay their own way, and basically looked at this as an evening out with friends that just happened at the same time as your son's party. Side benefit was that the kids all had built in entertainment.

You did the right thing.
 


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