Did anyone see Dr. Phil's show today? Moochers, Part 2

[RitaZ.]

http://www.drphil.com/show/show.jhtml?contentId=1120_moochers2.xml

The parents aren't doing those guys any favors by supporting them. What will they do when mom and dad are gone?

 

[helenabear]

I can't watch this on TV since I am at work but it sounds very interesting. I can't say much because family does read here now and then, but I've seen it happen in my family and I know it can be hard for things to change.

 

[worm761]

my parents do this with my younger sister. it is an entitlement thing with her. but she is worse than any of the kids on that show. she is married, hubby in prison, 2 kids, no job, and she expects the world!

 

[disykat]

I worry that this problem will only get worse - I see so many parents of elementary school children teaching their kids to have a real "entitlement" mentality. No chores, get anything they want, reward for everything etc.

 

[dzneelvr]

I found this to be one of Dr. Phil's most thought-provoking episodes. He was really firm with the kids and wasn't going to allow them to get out of their responsibility in the situation. I found the kids to be just that, children who are not ready for the real world.
A scary thought as my generation gets older and will be relying on this next generation.
My personal opinion is that it boils down to the baby boomer generation reaching a level of creature comforts that cannot be equalled by succeeding generations fast enough in their minds, thus a feeling of entitlement for those who grew up with the goods but now don't want to work a length of time or sacrifice for them.
I can't be sure my own kids won't boomerang back, but I can be sure that DH and I will boomerang them right back out of the house again !!!!!

 

[Mskanga]

Kids will only go as far as the parents allow them to go, and as long as the parents keep paying the bills, they won't get a job.

 

[RitaZ.]

I can't be sure my own kids won't boomerang back, but I can be sure that DH and I will boomerang them right back out of the house again !!!!!

Good one! LOL

There is someone in my family that is supporting her adult children, one is 31 and the other is 29. The more she gives them, the less they do for themselves. They aren't even making an attempt at becoming financially independent. I don't know what they will do when their mother is gone.

 

[minnieandmickey]

My husband's brother is one of these guys. He will be 32 this August and I doubt he will be moving. He has never lived on his own, or has never owned anything. His mom and dad even give him their cars! He has held a job for 2 years now, the longest he has ever held a job. Mom and Dad always threaten to throw him out but never do. I told DH if something happens to his parents, there is no room at this inn!!!! Well it does seem he maybe moving out on his own, in about a YEAR or So, when mom and dad sell the house and moves to a different state to retire. Yeah right I'll believe it when I see it. They have security jobs in every state the last time I looked. The one good thing about this it shows my kids what not to be when they grow up.

 

[shelle94]

I deal with the reverse of that. Somehow my boyfriend and I ended up taking care of his parents! His Mom is on SSI/Disability and his Dad quit his job to go to school, took a couple classes, and hasn't worked a day since. Oh wait....he got a job, worked one day and then quit. Now they are split up and Corey, my boyfriend, keeps giving them both money. They have money for beer and ciggarettes, but then whine that they have no money for food and bills. They don't even feel guilty about it. They just know when they come to Corey he will help them. I finally had to put my foot down. I don't want to be a jerk, but enough is enough. I don't mind helping people get back on their feet, but this is far beyond that. Corey and I argue about it quite a bit. He feels it is his responsibility to help them because they raised him. Meanwhile we are trying to save money to move away from these people. I don't know how Corey ended up being such a decent person, coming from a family like that. Those people are unbelievable.

BTW...I love Dr. Phil's show. I watch it when I can, but that's not very often.

 

[dzneelvr]

shelle
You need to get some advice and counsel from experts on situations such as the one you describe. Can you contact your local senior service agency or retirement agency? I may be wrong, but I hear a relationship beginning to crack under the pressure.
If your boyfriend isn't going to change in how he enables his folks, you may have to make decisions about what YOU need to do.
Good luck--you only get one life to live !!

 

[nativetxn]

That was really interesting to read, Rita. I remember last spring I was a little worried that my son might end up living in his old bedroom playing Nintendo all day, but he got a job in his field right away.