DH's HS reunion

[ntburns22]

DH is on his reunion planning commitee. He offered to front money for the deposits until classmembers started buying tickets to the reunion and he would be paid back. When the leader was asking for dates we were not available we told her only 1 date for next fall that we could not do because his sister is getting married. Now DH found out that the reunion is the same day of the wedding and he won't even be able to go. He is really upset and the thing is the leader asked when we could send a check. If it is not moved he doesn't want to have any part of it. He doesn't want to put in more time and effort and not be able to go. He has spent countless hours on the phone and internet trying to find classmates. Sorry, I guess it is just a vent, I have been listening to DH for a couple days now and I have run out of things to say to him about this.

 

[Beth76]

That stinks. Has he put any money up yet? I would refuse and just back out, like you said. Just have him say "I'm sorry I can't attend, so there's no point in me helping with the planning." Maybe the leader will change the date then.

Is the wedding out of town? If not maybe your DH could meet up with some classmates the night before. I think my reunion had a small, informal gathering on the Friday before.

 

[ChristmasElf]

It seems unreasonable that the committee would not be will8ng to change the date if someone on the planning board could not attend.
Why would it have to be a specific date this early? It's not like it's a national holiday or something.
There are plenty of restaurants/halls that should have a lot of availability now that they would easily be able to switch the days.
Sounds like your DH needs to put a firm foot down and get the day changed.

FWIW< Reunions are hardly ever what you think they will be, a bunch of people that have changed a little in their looks all pretending they liked each other in High school. And then only getting back to attending the reunion just to see what everyone else has done and then brag about themselves.
I hope I don't sound bitter, but I went to a couple and both were exactly the same. *yawn

 

[ntburns22]

He hasn't put any money up yet. They are asking again because they just booked the Holiday Inn for October. It is homecoming weekend and the "leader" wants to march at halftime. They have alumni march with the band. So it is better for her.

 

[Beth76]

Well that sounds like a good reason to have it then. Sorry for your DH though. He'll just have to back out of the planning committee. I don't think he should feel bad about that at all

 

[barkley]

tell dh not to put the money up (even if he were able to attend). it can be a major no-win proposition.

i planned (very small committee of a few friends) our 20th reunion and found that while there are tons of people who assured us that they would attend when it came time to get tickets bought it was a whole different ball game (oh, i can't pay now-can i pay at the door, oh my god its' going to cost that much, wow i did'nt realise hotels in our hometown cost so much now...). we based our planning on the responses we got over several repeat mailings (size of the hall, menu) and ended up with a huge deficit (and this was not a huge over the top, mortgage the house to pay for tickets event) mostly because the hall charges for the room or has a minimum number of meals. if you don't get that number of attendees they don't lower their charges (and changing a venue can result in losing a deposit plus paying a higher charge for securing another location/caterer on short notice).

we were lucky-we used a reunion company that fronted all of the money (there was a minimal per person charge tacked onto each ticket price to cover their expenses). but that company lost money (and must have had repeat experiences cuz they are no longer in bsns).

we learned later that 5 year (and in the absence of a 5 year-10 year) reunions have the biggest turnouts (our 10 year still holds the biggest single night bar proceeds at a local elk's club ). after that it's mostly the biggies-20/30/40...

we did'nt have a 25 because i was unwilling to take it on, and despite loads of people with "great ideas" noone else actualy stepped forward.

oh-and as a side note if he decides to stay involved, one of the biggest money losers is the concept that the "reunion committee members" get in free. you will lots of volunteers who do nada to achieve this perk (the company we used only gave comps to us if we achieved a set number of attendees-and then it was limited to a set number).

 

[CapeCodTenor]

I wouldn't front the money either. It's a loose/loose situation.

 

[ntburns22]

It's his 10 year reunion. If things end up working out I will strongly advise him about not giving any upfront money. All committee members have to buy tickets so there are no perks.

 

[diznygirl]

I think Homecoming weekend is a great time to schedule a reunion. So, since it wouldn't really make sense to schedule the reunion for another weekend just to accomodate your DH, I would suggest he bow out gracefully and leave it at that.

 

[SeeDisney]

Uggh, that would make me so mad too.

Can he asked for another date?

 

[Cindy's Mom]

I know at our old high school - Homecoming Weekend is when the reunions are always held. I always thought that's why its called Homecoming, because you are coming home for a reunion, so it seems fair that the committee chose that date.

 

[disneyfanforever]

I think Homecoming weekend is a great time for a reunion, but I also think your DH has been involved in the planning of the reunion and his conflicts in scheduling should have been considered. If they can't move the reunion, I would definitely say no to paying anything involving the reunion.

 

[golfgal]

Most schools around here have reunions in the summer months.

I wouldn't put up any money and I would also say that since I can't attend, I am not going to help plan the event, sorry.

 

[malibuconlee]

Reunions really need to be planned months in advance for those that must make travel arrangements.

I didn't attend my 10 year reunion. They changed the date multiple times. Our 5 year reunion was a complete bust that I only found out about 3 weeks prior to, and I was in California at the time (graduated in Iowa). I think they said 10 people showed up and that included spouses.

My DH's reunion was a lot of fun. We went bar hopping on Friday night, and had a lot more fun than the planned event on Saturday. I'd go to his if they have a 15 year this summer.

Don't have it on a holiday weekend. That's what they ended up doing last time.

I agree. Just tell him to gracefully bow out. Say he's sorry he's unable to attend and it would be appropriate for someone else to continue with the planning and paying of deposits.

As a side note, if there is any money left, have the committee approach a local bank and ask about setting up a class checking account. My friend is one of two names on the Class of 1990 because we know she'll never move away. Checks have to have both signatures. Left over money from their other reunions goes into the account and can be used to pay for deposits in the future. THere may even have been money left over after graduation that went into the account. I know we were bummed that we had to use our left-over money (or most of it) to buy a new scoreboard for the gym. We could have left it to help subsidise our reunions in the future.

 

[malibuconlee]

I know at our old high school - Homecoming Weekend is when the reunions are always held. I always thought that's why its called Homecoming, because you are coming home for a reunion, so it seems fair that the committee chose that date.

I think our hometown has the class celebrating their 20th reunion do theirs at homecoming. Otherwise it could get really crowded (5th, 10th, 15th, 20th, 25th, 30th). KWIM?

 

[Pooh Crew]

Is the wedding in the same town or near where the reunion will be held? If so, maybe there could be a couple events to the reunion. For my reunion, we first held a picnic at a local park--alumni could bring their spouses and children (and even their parents in some cases) and barbeque or do sandwiches or whatever they wanted. It was "free" and gave us all a chance to see everyone's family. That night we had a dinner at a local restaurant for alumni and spouses/dates only. Dh's class always does a golf tournament one day and the reunion the next. Hope things work out for you both!