DH wants to sell our puppy :( SOMEWHAT OF AN UPDATE PAGE 10

[JessicaR]

I don't think he wants to kill it! He wants to sell it. As long as he is responsible in finding the pet a new home, he isn't hurting the animal. The dog is a puppy. At this point, he may not even remember the family in a few weeks. Also it is better for him to decide that now than to wait. Waiting will only make it harder.

Marriage is a give and take. The husband has obviously changed his mind. If the wife really wants to keep the pet, she might need to be 100% responsible for him. She may need to as I previously suggested take the dog to doggie daycare or crate it while she is at work.

Nobody said anything about killing or hurting the animal. I agree marraige is a give and take. The OPer said, Well I am always about keeping the peace and not causing waves so I'd say 90% of the time I give in about pretty much everything.

Hows that for give and take?

No way after I bond with a pet that my husband not only planned and agreed to and picked out would I give that animal up for HIS selfish reasons. He would have to leave first.

 

[kacaju]

Thank you for answering my question about if your dh wanted the dog. Since he was on board then no I don't think you should so *easily* give up the pup just because he is not liking the weekends.
You do though really need to sit down and talk with him to find out exactly why he is not liking the dog anymore.

One other thing, if you spent a lot of money on this dog from a breeder you had better look through all (if any) paperwork you got with the dog.
Many breeders have first right of refusal, meaning if at any time in this dogs life you cannot keep her the breeder has the right to take her back (without refunding you the money)
Breeders do this to be sure their dogs don't end up in shelters. Check it out first. If he truly is thinking of making his money back, if you signed a contract he may change his tune!!

 

[NeverlandClub23]

Sigh. I really feel for dogs (well all animals at shelters, really). There'd be a lot less of them there if people did some research, and took an honest look at if one could fit in their life, before they got a pet. You can figure out the costs, if you or your children are allergic, and the realities of time having to be spent on the pet before you buy it or bring it home. Also, it helps to figure in an emergency savings plan with your pet in mind and/or a pet insurance program so you don't have to be put in the position of having to give up your dog due to unemployment or vet costs. The only reason I can ever see in getting rid of a pet is because of aggression and that's only after seeing if anything can be done about it first. Ok, my PSA is over

Anyways, if you and your DH do decide to get rid of the dog please don't wait until it's older. Puppies have a lot better chance of being adopted.

 

[bunny]

No way after I bond with a pet that my husband not only planned and agreed to and picked out would I give that animal up for HIS selfish reasons. He would have to leave first.

You would seriously pick a puppy that you have had for 6 weeks over your husband and the father of your children? No wonder half of American marriages end in divorce.

 

[CathrynRose]

One other thing, if you spent a lot of money on this dog from a breeder you had better look through all (if any) paperwork you got with the dog.
Many breeders have first right of refusal, meaning if at any time in this dogs life you cannot keep her the breeder has the right to take her back (without refunding you the money)
Breeders do this to be sure their dogs don't end up in shelters. Check it out first. If he truly is thinking of making his money back, if you signed a contract he may change his tune!!

Excellent point.

 

[Angelhalo]

If her husband was having life threatening asthma attacks due to the puppy then perhaps I could see your mantra, however her husband is just being a weenie.

What needs of his need to come first? The need to not be responsible? The OP mentioned he wanted this dog just as much as she did, but apparently did not realize a little effort might have to go into the care of him. It's not as if the OP went out and purchased a puppy on the sly.

What if after someone had a child (which is also, lots of work) they decided 'no thanks' ? It's pretty much the same principle.

Doggy Daycare is an excellent suggestion. It would also give the puppy a great chance for socialization with other dogs.

I 100% agree. I was about to say the same thing.

The husband AGREED to getting the dog. Its too late to change your mind now simply because you're too lazy to help take care of it for 2 days a week.

 

[Angelhalo]

I hope the kids don't become too much work.

Exactly!

 

[CathrynRose]

You would seriously pick a puppy that you have had for 6 weeks over your husband and the father of your children? No wonder half of American marriages end in divorce.

There are days I prefer my dog to my husband.

I think (if I may speak for Jessica) I'd be royally ticked off that we (husband and I) made a decision, and because he changed his mind, I have to get rid of a pet whom I adore, I'd seriously question everything. It doesn't seem fair.

If humans are first, how come the wife's choice can't be first?

AGAIN OP - Bunny's suggestion of Doggy Daycare is a really, really good one - for all parties involved. It would be *really* good for your doggie, as well.

 

[Angelhalo]

I don't think asking the husband to act like an adult and take resposibility for his decisions is treating him poorly, but to each his own.

 

[Angelhalo]

NO. she shouldn't get rid of the dog because it's what he, the man as you put it says so. it has nothing to do with being submissive to the husband. as i stated earlier, a pet is a big deal, a big committment. if everyone in the family isn't on board with it then it is in the family's as well as the dog's best interest to find it a loving home.

years ago my family got a dog. that's when we found out my brother was highly allergic to dogs so we had to give it back. i was angry and sad that we couldn't have the dog but i eventually got over it. i even grew to like my brother again. point is, sometimes pets don't work out in families for many reasons. if the dog didn't work out for the wife, i would hold the same stance as I do in this situation and that is that the dog has to go.

Allergies are completely different than lazyness

 

[PrincessKsMom]

No I don't believe children and pets are the same thing. However, I do believe a lazy husband is a lazy husband. I don't think there's anything more to this than he's being lazy and doesn't want to take on the responsibility of the pet, after be brought up the idea of buying one. So the wife and kids should be disappointed because it's too much for him to handle? Bull. Suck it up hubby. Your wife seems to be doing all the work in your house and this is too much for you? Booo hoooo.

FWIW, I have a dog and I wanted to get rid of it in the worst way after we got it. I bought it as a present for DH. I paid for it, did my research, read all the books, etc. It was eating my entire house -- shoes, furniture, walls, etc. He wanted a dog in the worst way and I finally gave in, but you know what, he was no better than a child -- I promise I'll walk the dog, and vacuum the massive amounts of hair it sheds, and clean up after it, and feed it, and take care of it... guess who did most of the work? Guess who was too tired when the dog needed to go out in the middle of the night? Guess who NEVER vacuums the house? I'm so thankful DH didn't listen to me and didn't get rid of the dog but it really was more work than I imagined, but it's a living, breathing creature -- you don't just get rid of it because it's too much work 2 days a week.

 

[JessicaR]

You would seriously pick a puppy that you have had for 6 weeks over your husband and the father of your children? No wonder half of American marriages end in divorce.

Sheesh you just love to jump to all kinds of assumptions. Quite honestly in the scenario described, unless my husband had a VALID reason, yes, the puppy stays and the husband goes. Thank goodness we're rationale people and we'll be married 20 years in September.

 

[bunny]

In the husband's defense, he works a full time job and goes to college. On top of that, he takes care of his kids on the weekend while his wife is working. How is that lazy?

 

[JessicaR]

There are days I prefer my dog to my husband.

I think (if I may speak for Jessica) I'd be royally ticked off that we (husband and I) made a decision, and because he changed his mind, I have to get rid of a pet whom I adore, I'd seriously question everything. It doesn't seem fair.
If humans are first, how come the wife's choice can't be first?

AGAIN OP - Bunny's suggestion of Doggy Daycare is a really, really good one - for all parties involved. It would be *really* good for your doggie, as well.

This is what I'm saying!

 

[PrincessKsMom]

and I can't stop crying about it! We bought an English Bulldog puppy about 6 weeks ago, she's now 14 weeks old & I am head over heels in love with her
We've never had a pet before but she's wonderful, such a good dog & a quick learner. I am the main caretaker during the week but on the weekends I work outside the home, 8 hour shifts both S&S. DH is fine Mon-Fri but every weekend since we brought her home he's emailing & IMing that it was a mistake, its too much, blah, blah, blah.
I'm not sure what the problem is She sleeps a lot, is well behaved and I don't have any problems with her at all. Let me mention, I am also caring for 4-5 kids full time during the week plus housework, cooking, etc.
On the weekends he only has our 2 kids (7&8) who don't require much and there is really not much housework.
He says he cant get his homework done (he's in college p/t) because of the dog. WTH??
I am just beside myself and nothing I am saying is getting through to him
Just wanted to vent, I am SOOOO upset

Let me mention, it was HIS idea to get a dog & sadly me quitting my weekend job seems to be the only solution but of course $$ wise that isn't an option

In the husband's defense, he works a full time job and goes to college. On top of that, he takes care of his kids on the weekend while his wife is working. How is that lazy?

In the wife's defense, she works 7 days a week, watching other children, plus 16 hours on the weekend, in addition to housecleaning, laundry, cooking, etc. and I'm supposed to feel sorry for the husband? How much work does it really take to handle the dog? So he has to walk it maybe 3-4 times (if that) while she's gone and throw some food in a bowl? I'm sure the kids are the ones playing with it while he's doing is homework.

 

[Angelhalo]

In the husband's defense, he works a full time job and goes to college. On top of that, he takes care of his kids on the weekend while his wife is working. How is that lazy?

Apparently he is too lazy to put the dog in a crate with a blankie and a biscuit. That takes about 30 seconds, so that seems pretty lazy to me. And, hardly seems like an interruption to studying.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I didn't read the whole thread, but I would never let dh tell me to get rid of our dog. Too bad, so sad for him, the dog stays.

 

[Tuffcookie]

bunny wrote:

In the husband's defense, he works a full time job and goes to college. On top of that, he takes care of his kids on the weekend while his wife is working. How is that lazy?

Maybe the OP has to work weekends because her DH is attending college PT. It isn't cheap to go to school and then you have all the regular bills. If she's willing to help the families' financial situation by working weekends then he should step up to the plate as far as dog responsibilities go. No way should the interests of one person go before the majority.

He was on board before the dog came home. The time to change his mind was BEFORE the dog was brought home.

TC

 

[sunnyday123]

In the wife's defense, she works 7 days a week, watching other children, plus 16 hours on the weekend, in addition to housecleaning, laundry, cooking, etc. and I'm supposed to feel sorry for the husband? How much work does it really take to handle the dog? So he has to walk it maybe 3-4 times (if that) while she's gone and throw some food in a bowl? I'm sure the kids are the ones playing with it while he's doing is homework.

Really hope he doesn't decide the kids are too much work....

 

[sunnyday123]

You would seriously pick a puppy that you have had for 6 weeks over your husband and the father of your children? No wonder half of American marriages end in divorce.

I would. My dog liked me better and didnt' cheat on me with the neighbor or try to beat the crap out of me. The dog did however stick up for me.


There's this little thing called responsiblity and compromise. The op's husband needs to get a little of both.