DH got laid off, now 6 family members coming to visit!

[AmberHeartsDisney]

tell her the truth.

 

[quagmire0]

Maybe it's just me, but if I were coming from out of town to visit my sister and I was bringing my kids along, I wouldn't expect her to feed all of us - especially when she's already giving me a free place to stay. Throw in the fact that her husband is being laid off and I might even stay at a hotel at that point to not be a burden.

Seriously, she should be more than willing to give you some money for food or to go out shopping on their first day to get a bunch of supplies for her family (at least). It's not too much for you to ask.

 

[okeydokey]

I think its pretty rude of a family of 6 to come visit for a week and expect you to feed them for free. They should be paying you whatever they would have spent on groceries for the week or what they would have spent eating out if they had vacationed elsewhere.

Being a guest doesn't mean being a moocher.

If she won't, then my regular grocery amount is all I would spend. And I would cook for my regular family. Sorry, can't afford to feed you. Maybe they would get the point then.

Oh my, I would never do this to my family coming to visit my (and their) sick mother probably for the last time in her life. You would just plate for 3 people and then sit and eat in front of them? The OP understands that the family is having a harder time financially than she is, and is looking for some budget recipes. When people stay at my home, I feed them.

OP, I concur about breakfast for dinner, maybe omelettes and toast. Soup and chili also goes a long way.

Your family may also be able to come up with some ideas and maybe some groceries to help.

 

[dfchelbay]

My sister is coming to visit with my niece, nieces' DH, and their 3 boys (age 1, 3 and 12). The problem is they arrive the week after DH's last day of work. How am I going to feed all of these people for a week, when we are trying so hard to make DH's last paycheck stretch? I'm thrilled that they are coming to visit, but wish the timing was different. I usually love to entertain and cater to my guests, but I really need some ideas for ways to do this on a serious budget.

If I came to visit you and found out after the fact that your DH was laid off, I would feel like such crap that I didn't know and that you didn't tell me. I would replay in my mind all the food and drinks I, and my children consumed on your dime. Just be honest with your sister, I'm sure she will see that she is getting a free place to stay and would be more than happy to help with the groceries. I know when we visit the inlaws, we take a trip to the grocery store and buy all sorts of stuff...no problem. I drink a certain water, and DH certain beer, so we just go get the stuff ourselves. MIL will cook and love on everyone the entire time we're there, so her plate is full. It's the least we can do to help out.

Tell your sis, this will take the looming cloud out of the visit, and you'll all have a happy time together. She'll be happy to help...Wouldn't you do the same for her if she were in your shoes?

 

[clintswifeymomof4]

Man- it would be super if everyone would read the actual posts before responding.

It is OPs sister who is coming to visit... and her sister's pregnant daughter (OP's niece) and that niece's unemployed husband and their 3 kids (i.e. OP's sister's grandkids).

I agree with the poster that stated that the niece and her DH and the 3 children should stay home and not travel. Number 1, if your mother is in poor health- I doubt she would want 3 rambunctious children crammed into her home going stir crazy for a week. Why your sister is bringing her daughter and daughter's family doesn't make much sense to me... If it were the last time I would get to spend with my mother, I would want to do it with as little distraction as possible and in peace.

Have those 5 stay behind and only your sister visiting with surely allow for more wiggle room in your food budget.

 

[Nancyg56]

Man- it would be super if everyone would read the actual posts before responding.

I did read the posts and responded with as much helpful info as I could. The OP has asked how to stretch their money in order to feed the extra people and a lot of us have given her inexpensive ideas to feed a large group.

I am not going to question the motives of the visitors. We do know the OP's Mom has paid for this trip so I believe that she wants them to visit her as she may not see her family again. I would never tell a poster to tell her extended family to stay home unless that poster indicated that she wanted some help in that area.

 

[seashoreCM]

Has your niece and her family come over in the past? If not you can point out in advance that you don't have room (or do you?)

I would be concerned about having their kids sleep in one of your kids' bedroom.

You could start out with smaller meal portions all around. If you wish to you and DH could serve everything rather than let people help themselves. No boarding house reach, that is.

You could skip going out to movies, museums etc. letting your guests take that initiative and treat your family. Do you still have Monopoly and other board games around the house?

 

[At World's End]

OP here -

As I mentioned originally, I am happy that they are all coming to visit us. We have previously travelled to visit them, but Mom's health prevents that (she is on dialysis 4x per week). Mom knows she is dying. She has been getting her affairs in order and set aside $1000 for each child to cover their expenses to travel out of state for her burial. I suggested that my siblings might rather spend the $ to come visit her while she is alive, since they could not afford to do so otherwise. They are basically spending their inheritance to see her before she dies. My sister is driving, so she can stretch that money to allow Mom to see her granddaughter and greatgrandkids one more time. Mom is used to living with my 2 kids, and there is no peace in this house! I totally support the visit, and want to make it as enjoyable of a visit as possible, considering the reason. Thankfully we do have the space to house everyone, even if on air mattresses and sofas. I'm not worried about entertaining them in the least.

My concern was for providing meals that would not break the budget, and I received tons of great suggestions. I know that they may offer to contribute to the cost, but I feel that I need to be prepared in case this is not possible. Thanks to everyone's wonderful suggesstions, I feel like I have some good options to have available. I know that this time of financial hardship will pass. I appreciate the support.

It makes me sad for people to say I should turn family away when they are facing a final visit with a loved one. Having lost my father less than a week after my brother visited him, I know how important it is to have the chance to say say goodbye. I think sometimes the dying person hangs on just for that last chance to say goodbye. I hope this is not the case this time, but I would not deny my niece that chance just to save my own food budget. Thankfully my heart is not that hardened.

 

[Traveliz]

OP here -

As I mentioned originally, I am happy that they are all coming to visit us. We have previously travelled to visit them, but Mom's health prevents that (she is on dialysis 4x per week). Mom knows she is dying. She has been getting her affairs in order and set aside $1000 for each child to cover their expenses to travel out of state for her burial. I suggested that my siblings might rather spend the $ to come visit her while she is alive, since they could not afford to do so otherwise. They are basically spending their inheritance to see her before she dies. My sister is driving, so she can stretch that money to allow Mom to see her granddaughter and greatgrandkids one more time. Mom is used to living with my 2 kids, and there is no peace in this house! I totally support the visit, and want to make it as enjoyable of a visit as possible, considering the reason. Thankfully we do have the space to house everyone, even if on air mattresses and sofas. I'm not worried about entertaining them in the least.

My concern was for providing meals that would not break the budget, and I received tons of great suggestions. I know that they may offer to contribute to the cost, but I feel that I need to be prepared in case this is not possible. Thanks to everyone's wonderful suggesstions, I feel like I have some good options to have available. I know that this time of financial hardship will pass. I appreciate the support.

It makes me sad for people to say I should turn family away when they are facing a final visit with a loved one. Having lost my father less than a week after my brother visited him, I know how important it is to have the chance to say say goodbye. I think sometimes the dying person hangs on just for that last chance to say goodbye. I hope this is not the case this time, but I would not deny my niece that chance just to save my own food budget. Thankfully my heart is not that hardened.

I am so glad you updated...from your initial posts I got the impression that you welcomed everyone and was taken aback by the suggestions that not everyone come (considering the circumstances). I love your attitude and know you will make this work out. I hope you all have a great visit.

Liz

 

[MiniGirl]

OP, a few other things

As people have mentioned, Easter type items are on sale now. Next week it will probably be Mexican food (at least around here) for Cinqo de Mayo. That should mean that you can get ground meat, cheeses, etc cheaper than usual, so things that would work not only for mexican but also lasagnas, etc. Something I don't think anyone has mentioned has been beans and rice -- very filling, cheap, and easy to make allowing you more time with your family. Also, something like baked potatos and a salad would work for one night. Someone mentioned soup, and I will second that.

Finally, like others have mentioned, I would be upfront and honest with your family. That you are happy they are coming and you know this visit means so much to everyone, but that money is tight so the focus of the week will be spending time together and loving on each other and not about entertaining with gourmet meals, etc.

 

[The Pink Cupcake]

Seems like you are all in a bad position right now, with disabilities, layoffs and impending death

Make the best of it!

Pasta Night is cheap. You can make your own sauce ahead of time and freeze it. Homemade bread. Salad. Yum!

Make your own personal pizzas Dough and sauce are cheap to make.

Chili is always a cheap and yummy meal.

With all of this being said, your sister is bringing her daughter and her family along. That is a ton of people to feed. I hope she calls soon and acknowledges the strain this will put on your family financially...with a plan of her own Together, you can feed the crowd no problem. But, one person with a limited income shouldn't be in charge of feeding a large family The milk costs alone will be staggering.


Why not call her and say "Sis, as you know DH is getting laid off. Let's work out a menu together so I don't lose my mind"

Peace be with you all.

 

[okeydokey]

OP here -

As I mentioned originally, I am happy that they are all coming to visit us. We have previously travelled to visit them, but Mom's health prevents that (she is on dialysis 4x per week). Mom knows she is dying. She has been getting her affairs in order and set aside $1000 for each child to cover their expenses to travel out of state for her burial. I suggested that my siblings might rather spend the $ to come visit her while she is alive, since they could not afford to do so otherwise. They are basically spending their inheritance to see her before she dies. My sister is driving, so she can stretch that money to allow Mom to see her granddaughter and greatgrandkids one more time. Mom is used to living with my 2 kids, and there is no peace in this house! I totally support the visit, and want to make it as enjoyable of a visit as possible, considering the reason. Thankfully we do have the space to house everyone, even if on air mattresses and sofas. I'm not worried about entertaining them in the least.

My concern was for providing meals that would not break the budget, and I received tons of great suggestions. I know that they may offer to contribute to the cost, but I feel that I need to be prepared in case this is not possible. Thanks to everyone's wonderful suggesstions, I feel like I have some good options to have available. I know that this time of financial hardship will pass. I appreciate the support.

It makes me sad for people to say I should turn family away when they are facing a final visit with a loved one. Having lost my father less than a week after my brother visited him, I know how important it is to have the chance to say say goodbye. I think sometimes the dying person hangs on just for that last chance to say goodbye. I hope this is not the case this time, but I would not deny my niece that chance just to save my own food budget. Thankfully my heart is not that hardened.

It sounds like you have it under control. I am wishing you all a good visit.

 

[java]

OP here -

As I mentioned originally, I am happy that they are all coming to visit us. We have previously travelled to visit them, but Mom's health prevents that (she is on dialysis 4x per week). Mom knows she is dying. She has been getting her affairs in order and set aside $1000 for each child to cover their expenses to travel out of state for her burial. I suggested that my siblings might rather spend the $ to come visit her while she is alive, since they could not afford to do so otherwise. They are basically spending their inheritance to see her before she dies. My sister is driving, so she can stretch that money to allow Mom to see her granddaughter and greatgrandkids one more time. Mom is used to living with my 2 kids, and there is no peace in this house! I totally support the visit, and want to make it as enjoyable of a visit as possible, considering the reason. Thankfully we do have the space to house everyone, even if on air mattresses and sofas. I'm not worried about entertaining them in the least.

My concern was for providing meals that would not break the budget, and I received tons of great suggestions. I know that they may offer to contribute to the cost, but I feel that I need to be prepared in case this is not possible. Thanks to everyone's wonderful suggesstions, I feel like I have some good options to have available. I know that this time of financial hardship will pass. I appreciate the support.

It makes me sad for people to say I should turn family away when they are facing a final visit with a loved one. Having lost my father less than a week after my brother visited him, I know how important it is to have the chance to say say goodbye. I think sometimes the dying person hangs on just for that last chance to say goodbye. I hope this is not the case this time, but I would not deny my niece that chance just to save my own food budget. Thankfully my heart is not that hardened.

I think you will have a wonderful visit.
I wanted to suggest watching post Easter sales for items like Hams(trader Joes had a great deal last year- not advertised though- just cheap ham because they had ordered too many and by cheap I mean dirt cheap)

DH is unemployed right now as well (well he started a night job for health insurance but actually pays horribly- but it's insurance at least) so finances here are tight as well. We have one of my son's communions this year. So in 2 weeks we have to have a party. I am trying to do it as inexpensively as possible. So I'll be watching post Easter sales.

Good luck to you and I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. Cherish the time and enjoy the visit with your whole family. Hearing them spending the money to visit her now vs. for her funeral brought tears to my eyes. You have a nice family.

 

[eyor44]

sounds like you really have it together and will have a wonderful visit. Thank you for starting this thread. I think a lot of us have found some wonderful new ways to stretch food and feed several people.

 

[cm8]

sounds like you really have it together and will have a wonderful visit. Thank you for starting this thread. I think a lot of us have found some wonderful new ways to stretch food and feed several people.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I would be honest with them and ask if they can pitch in for the grocery bill. Ordinarily it is rude to invite guests and not be a proper hostess, but a family staying for a long period can be a bear on the budget.

When I travel, I never expect my hosts to cover everything if I am staying for an extended period. I make sure I bring my kids snacks and stuff.

However, a trip last year became quite overwhelming to me that I cancelled it when I was asked to make a family meal (and pay for the whole thing) and bring my own sleeping gear. I was told this at the last minute. I did end up cancelling. I had been invited and it just became too much for me. It should be noted that nothing changed financially for anyone. Other than I had 1 night to cover my meal and was not having the benefit of others pitching in on the other nights as I would not be there. It was just very bizarre. (there was a whole bunch of other issues as well--it was weird.)

In the meantime--I was just focus on very frugal meals. But certainly advise your family member of your circumstance. In your situation, I would not turn them away either.

 

[fkj2]

Why your sister is bringing her daughter and daughter's family doesn't make much sense to me... If it were the last time I would get to spend with my mother, I would want to do it with as little distraction as possible and in peace.

Well, if I'm interpreting the relationships correctly, the "niece" is also actually a granddaughter to the OP's mom.

I'd have been crushed if someone had told me I would not be able to see my grandmother before she passed.

The niece's children would be the great grandchildren. I would think the mom would also want to see them. It's regrettable that things are so strained financially, but this will probably the last time these folks see each other on this earth. I could not imagine the OP turning them away, and I commend her for trying to find a way to make this work.

She may want to look for a church locally who sponsors a Need Room and may be able to help supply some foodstuffs so this family can spend this time together with less stress than the medical situation already supplies.

OP, best to you and your family.

 

[leight]

OP- it sounds like this visit will be a blessing for you all-especially your mom.

Definitely try to stretch your food budget by the tips listed. Pasta can stretch many meals and is relatively inexpensive. Shop now for sales meats and buy some easter/holiday items as they are marked down-treats especially.

If you have a costco/sam's club membership- buy meat in bulk and separate into the amounts you will need as you menu plan. If you have a supermarket that you are familiar with- ask the butcher when they mark down the meat-you can stock up and immediately freeze or cook then freeze for when your guests come at much lower prices.

Use 80/20 ground beef vs 90/10 for this week-you can make burgers, meatballs, casseroles.

Boneless chicken thighs are sometimes half the price of chicken breasts. In sauces or slowcooked meals you can barely taste the difference.

Crockpots can help with tougher but cheaper meats and that might help stretch your budget too. Appeal to friends if you don't have a crockpot and borrow- just tell them about the large amount of people you will be accomodating.

http://www.hillbillyhousewife.com/recipeindex.htm has some great recipes- especially things like breads- which are a great way to have the kids involved around the table and have greatgrandmom sitting with you all- and be entertaining too. Same thing with desserts- make cupcakes or cookies with the kids and do it in bulk so that it can serve as many snacks. Having them decorate cupcakes or cookies is a great family activity and will serve two purposes.

I'm sure your mom wants to see the great grand kids having fun so go to the library and borrow dvds and books and have the kids read to her and do projects for her thru the books. Making inexpensive momentoes will be great memories for everyone. Help the kids put on a play for her- it will keep them occupied for hours and your mom will probably love it.

Good luck to you and your family and god bless.