DH and I are not agreeing on wedding present amount

[Bob NC]

If my wife and I each had an opinion that was within $50 of each other, we'd just write the higher check and call it a day.

 

[hereyago]

Considering this is a budget board, may I suggest OP since you want the higher amount then you should sacrifice things that you do for yourself i.e. Starbucks or any other "want" and put that money towards the amount.

There is no way would I spend extra money just so people think I wasn't cheap. I could care less about keeping appearances, that just isn't smart financially speaking.

 

[pryncess527]

I don't think you are seeing it as an issue. I think there is some pressure when there is a lavish wedding to give more, I'm not saying that is right, I don't believe it is right to expect more because you choose to spend more on your wedding. But it comes down to - I don't want to look cheap. When someone spends $50k on a wedding, $100 is nothing. That's pretty much what it comes down to isn't it? Not wanting to look bad or be talked about behind your back. As the saying goes "Those that mind - don't matter, and those that matter - don't mind".

I'll just say that I would have been MORTIFIED if I thought for one second any of my wedding guests felt they owed it to me to recoup the cost of my wedding. Every choice I made was ours and we were fully capable of paying for it, or we would have made different choices. It was not my intention to burden my guests with the notion that they must match my spending with their gift. I will never, as long as I live, understand where that notion comes from or why it continues to persist.

 

[kirstenb1]

When giving gifts, I always err on the side of overly generous, rather than going with the lower amount to save a few bucks. Since you can afford it and his family is generous and helpful to you and your DD, I vote for the extra $50.

(and the point about the shower is a good one!)

This sums it up for me perfectly!! I've never regretted "taking the high road" gift wise, but have regretted going in too cheap.

 

[horseshowmom]

We are going to a wedding next week - in the Rockies. We are extending this into a vacation. Why not - Denver is on our list of places we want to visit at least once anyways!

The bride-to-be is on his side of the family. So - his opinion gets a little bit higher weight on the topic. (And likewise - I get a stronger opinion on my side of the family.)

Our week - is costing about $1300 or more, when everything is said and done (airfare, hotels, car rental, meals, new outfit and a pedi for me etc, but not including the wedding gift.) I do not know if the cost of the trip (or the upcoming college tuition is due on 8/1) is why DH is being firm on his idea of the gift amount.

We are about $50 apart on what we feel is the amount we should give the bride and groom. I want the higher amount, since there wasn't a shower for the bride. (The bride and groom are currently living in England - or I would just send a shower-like gift; something fun from a registry whether there was a shower or not in addition to the wedding gift.)

Out of my husbands family - (he is one of 8 kids) this family is my favorite. This family is always generous to our daughter. AND - when we had DD's grad party last year - the help from this family with our party was awesome - as my SIL had BTDT 4-times with her girls.

So - in typing this out - I think I have solved the problem - I just need to explain the "no-shower" gift for this bride maybe then he will see the light!

And - in in the whole scheme of things - life is pretty good if this is our biggest problem.

I'm with you. I don't normally go overboard with gifts, but if you're only $50 apart, I would feel exactly like you do based on the reasons you gave. Hopefully, he'll come to agree with you.

This sums it up for me perfectly!! I've never regretted "taking the high road" gift wise, but have regretted going in too cheap.

Exactly the same here...