Devastated (long)

[JennyMominRI]

i just wanted to clear up a few things again--First is back in 1986 not all known was widespread knowledge--As Jen stated in one post her sister became an RN just as AIDS was becoming recognized-The first case was diagnosed in 1981 and there's not much of a time difference between 81 and 86--In 1986 you could refuse to work with an AIDS patient and though the disease WAS well known(Rock Hudson and others) it was NOT well understood.
If you have a hard time believing this think of Ryan White and many others who were barred from school because ppl didnt understand the disease.
When I said it was known as cancer((I never referred to it as gay cancer-Jenny did))that is because of how it was taught to us to be better able to understand it and its effects on the body because of its likeness to cancer and its effect on T CELLS and viral load.
As for "a little knowledge being dangerous" we were discussing 1986 not today.
I posted the link so all could read because at the time the OP hadn't yet told exactly what happened and didn't feel comfortable with ppl telling her that she had no reason to worry.
Then she told us of having to go for the shots which made not only me but others believe that she had indeed come into contact w/the gentlemans blood only to find out from her in later posts that it was only her cell phone which ahd been exchanged

Yeah.I take responsobility for using Gay cancer because that was really what they were calling it in 81. Then we moved to the nicer GRID... in 1991,they were still using terms like ARC(AIDS related Complex),which we don't use now

 

[Maleficent13]

Wow...some of this thread makes me

OP, I agree with whichever poster said you should walk away from this thread now and not come back. It's not going to help you and indeed could make it worse for you. I'm sorry.

 

[AmyJ of Ca]

Mispatatas, I know how you feel. Although my anxiety was caused by a totally different situation (someone broke into our house and attacked my DH with a wrench while he was trying to hold me down, no serious injurya few stitches for DH, just turned me into a nutcase for awhile) It has taken a long time to feel like I wasn't about to freak out at the littlest stress. This happened over a year ago and any major stress can take me back to the same place I was when it first happened. I was volunteering at my kids school a couple of months ago and they found suspicious devices around the school. (soda bottles with bottle rockets attached and wires connecting to a cell phone) Well after the bomb squad, FBI, Haz mat and about every cop in the area got there they decided to evacuate the school . It amazed me how quick all those feelings came right back. They later said the devices couldn't explode but they could catch fire because of the flammable liquid that was in the bottles ...The good news...It doesn't take as long to get over it . You'll probably always have butterflies in your stomach when you think about it but eventually you'll just take a deep breath and be able to let it go. I did go to a psychologist after our break-in and the thing she kept trying to stress to me was to stay on the meds my DR put me on. I thought I should be able to handle it on my own after a few weeks but eventually I could tell that I didn't need them unlike before when I didn't want them. Take care of yourself and it does get better. You can PM me if you want to talk. Amy

 

[AMcaptured]

To the OP.....I don't mean to belittle your angst over this as I had a period of depression a few years ago that I came out of with medication, I hope you seek professional help for your anxiety. Please stop focusing on what one nurse said to you. I would bet a $1000 that she hasn't thought twice about you since you left that office. I know it isn't as easy as someone just telling you to stop thinking about it but honestly, you must.

Secondly, I am older than all of you and am a dental hygienist. I worked for several years with NO GLOVES and saw LOTS of gay men. Unfortunately many of them are no longer with us as HIV took thousands of amazing and talented lives in the 80's. However, I am still here. I happen to believe that the HIV virus is difficult to contract and I believe that because I had infected blood all over me 20+ years ago and I am HIV neg.

The nurse was correct that ANY contact could cause transmission of the virus but from my own personal experience that is highly unlikely.

That said, there are no guarantees in life. Live for TODAY! Yesterday is gone forever and tomorrow may never come, that is why we call today, The Present!!!

Good Luck. Try to focus on your anxiety and don't sidetrack your recovery by reporting the nurse, I believe writing a letter is unnecessary. Just get better!!

 

[JennyMominRI]

That said, there are no guarantees in life. Live for TODAY! Yesterday is gone forever and tomorrow may never come, that is why we call today, The Present!!!

!!

And I would add that although not by any means cured..PWA's(people with AIDS) are living long,productive ,healthy lives.. I was diagnosed 15 years ago next month and have gone on to have a full life with family(children) ,relationship and pretty good health..I've had 2 hospitalizations on 15 years

 

[DawnCt1]

And I would add that although not by any means cured..PWA's(people with AIDS) are living long,productive ,healthy lives.. I was diagnosed 15 years ago next month and have gone on to have a full life with family(children) ,relationship and pretty good health..I've had 2 hospitalizations on 15 years

I am so happy for you Jenny. While there is a lot of credit to give to medical science, I am sure that your positive attitude has contributed significantly to your good health and happiness!

 

[JennyMominRI]

I am so happy for you Jenny. While there is a lot of credit to give to medical science, I am sure that your positive attitude has contributed significantly to your good health and happiness!

I absolutely believe in the power of a positive(no pun intended lol) attitude..I saw people who just could not function.. They never got past the diagnosis really .It defeated them and in the end the virus did too. On the other hand my ex went into super denial,and somehow managed to stay alive. Maybe that blows my theory.

 

[phillybeth]

Yes,and like the other poster has said they have gine back and tested other cases and later found out it was AIDS . I remember one was the blood/tissue sample of a European women that died in the 1950's...I had not heard about any cases as far back as the 30's..Clearly this has been around for a while..There were also the large number of Haitians presenting with symptoms in 80 or so..Certainly people on the street may have continued to call it GRID or Gay Cancer,but the medical profession clealry called it AIDS..In 1986/87 Rock Hudsons AIDS diagnos was front page news. We in High School certainly new it as AIDS

I was a sophomore in high school in 83-84 and I remember the cause of AIDS had not yet been discovered, although they were pretty sure it was a virus at that point. I remember my uncle talking about the "Gay Plague" in the early 80's.

 

[mannasn]

WHAT??? Nurses are health care professionals who are supposed to be compassionate and understanding of all of their patients' needs. Hand holding, understanding, and yes occasionally coddling should all be part of a health care professional's bedside manner when needed. If that it too much to ask then they need to find a new profession, preferably one that does not put them into contact with vulnerable and anxious populations.

True, nurses should be compassionate and have quality time to spend comforting and caring for their patients.

The reality often is, due to "nursing shortages" (or whatever the buzzword is at the moment), nurses are tired, understaffed and overworked. Nurses, regretfully, are sometimes unable to practice the caring art of nursing. I am not excusing the behavior of some nurses, however. I just think the population should be aware of the many reasons patient care can be compromised, not all of which are related to "bad nurses."

In my mind, it is not always the nurses that need reform. It is the healthcare system itself!

 

[chell]

Sorry but I haven't read the entire post. I do want to say that you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I hope you can soon find comfort and not feel so much anxiety about it. Anxiety is a real pain in the butt at times. Wish I knew better words to help you feel better though.

 

[chell]

Today the nurse made me go through the whole situation again and her reaction was to negate what the doctors had told me. So of course it is her comments that stand out in my head, not all of the other things that helped me get over it in the first place.

You should have just told her to piss off. Sorry she upset you so bad.

Did you think that shot hurt really, really, really bad? It is the worst one I've ever had. I was SO thankful by the time the series was over.

 

[DWDreams]

As for "a little knowledge being dangerous" we were discussing 1986 not today.

irishbosoxfan, I have to say I was dismayed reading your first post in this thread as I felt it to be lacking in sensitivity. I opted to read the entire thread before responding. I know that your intent was not to scare and you felt you had important information to impart, but sometimes I think we really need to step outside our "selves" when we hit send and see how others reading it may respond. You may have had a message to share, but sometimes it becomes more about the delivery than the message itself.

To the OP, regardless of the varying opinions you've received, you'll worry nonetheless. Try to focus on the reasons why you aren't likely at high or even moderate risk. to you.

 

[DVC Sadie]

True, nurses should be compassionate and have quality time to spend comforting and caring for their patients.

The reality often is, due to "nursing shortages" (or whatever the buzzword is at the moment), nurses are tired, understaffed and overworked. Nurses, regretfully, are sometimes unable to practice the caring art of nursing. I am not excusing the behavior of some nurses, however. I just think the population should be aware of the many reasons patient care can be compromised, not all of which are related to "bad nurses."

In my mind, it is not always the nurses that need reform. It is the healthcare system itself!

Thank you for stating what I was trying to state with little to no success.

 

[mannasn]

Thank you for stating what I was trying to state with little to no success.

No problem. Glad I could be of assistance.

 

[Free4Life11]

I had a scare recently too and it sure does create anxiety!

Maybe then nurse was just being cautious? Doctors aren't all knowing so tests are the only thing that can be certain. I know oh so well as one wouldn't give me a diagnosis and kept having me come back and would cancel appointments, stringing me along for 6 months making a certain problem get worse and worse . I really can't stand the university health center, but that's a whole other thread.

Anyways I'm sure everything will be ok! If it still worries you get a test for whatever it is you think you might have.

As for the nurse, I have nothing to say. My mom is a nurse and they have a lot of stress. Lots of patients, lots to do. Yes nurses should be compassionate, but they also don't have time to play games and need to be forthright. She could have been more understanding, but I don't think you should write a letter. That could affect her job and it's not her fault that you have anxiety.

 

[irishbosoxfan]

The first post I made said that I believed the nurse to be honest and forthcoming which is part of her job description-Even if things can scare or kill us we need to be informed and play an active part in our care-Now say I had an ulcer but the thought of what it could be doing to my insides scared me so I didn't want to know the truth about it-would it have been ok if my nurse just said "its ok hunny dont worry about it" and I just continued my life like its nothing till I dropped dead or would it be wise to have her give me the details so if something did go wrong I was prepared for it and she could keep her license.
At the end of the day we knew the whole story and many times I stated it was not my intent to scare her but to let someone live in lala land because they have anxiety disorder isnt doing them any favors either.
That being said---- OP after all the info came out I do not believe that you are at any great risk continue w/the series and try to have a better day today!!

 

[epcotfan]

As for the nurse, I have nothing to say. My mom is a nurse and they have a lot of stress. Lots of patients, lots to do. Yes nurses should be compassionate, but they also don't have time to play games and need to be forthright. She could have been more understanding, but I don't think you should write a letter. That could affect her job and it's not her fault that you have anxiety.

Everything Free4life said. My mother is a nurse too.

 

[DawnCt1]

care-Now say I had an ulcer but the thought of what it could be doing to my insides scared me so I didn't want to know the truth about it-would it have been ok if my nurse just said "its ok hunny dont worry about it" and I just continued my life like its nothing till I dropped dead or would it be wise to have her give me the details so if something did go wrong I was prepared for it and she could keep her license.
!

Thats assuming you did have an ulcer and she didn't "guess" that you had an ulcer instead of gas. The OP was reassured by physicians and specialist very familiar with the details of her exposure, or in this case, her "lack of exposure". They reassured her based on all of the facts of the situation which included the negative testing of the bleeder. They gave her Hep B, which is required now in all school systems, so my best guess is "they weren't blowing smoke" to make her feel better. The nurse, who probably isn't working in the hospital so isn't overwhelmed with patients, hears a portion of the story and picks at a sore that had already healed over so she could have something to say, no matter how irrelevant. Again, she's an idiot.

 

[DawnCt1]

I had a scare recently too and it sure does create anxiety!

Maybe then nurse was just being cautious?
As for the nurse, I have nothing to say. My mom is a nurse and they have a lot of stress. Lots of patients, lots to do. Yes nurses should be compassionate, but they also don't have time to play games and need to be forthright. She could have been more understanding, but I don't think you should write a letter. That could affect her job and it's not her fault that you have anxiety.

Cautious about what? It was essentially a non exposure and the matter had been settled by the patient's physician who, incidentally appears to be this nurse's employer. There are bears seen occasionally in the west end of our town. Should I warn everyone to beware of bears even though there has never been a bear attack? Nurses do not have time to play games but that seems what she did when she opened an issue that was essentially settled. As a nurse I have worked with my share of Nurse Ratchets. When they have been cruel and unprofessional, I have reported them myself. We as a profession are better off without them. She should write the letter.