Desperate Housewives For Idiots

[Nana Annie]

I think I am the only female in the US who has never watched Desperate Housewives. I tried to watch it once, but was completely lost on who was who, who is sleeping with whom (except that I have read the Eva Longoria is sleeping with the gardener?) and who has done what to whom.

However, if I ever want to participate in the local coffee clique again - I need a fast and quick education in DesperateHousewives-ish.

Alas, I tried to muddle throught the 1,180 posts of the official D.H. thread here, but to no avail.

Would you kind DISers please help out. Would you please use this thread as a "Desperate Housewives For Idiots" plot guide and help all us Desperate Housewives challenged women understand what the heck is going on?

Thanks!
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[JennyMominRI]

LOL Hispanic woman. Slept with gardener. Husband thought she slept with another.Beat him up, Other guy is gay,got blamed with hate crime.. Then in court for hate crime,guy wife really slept with confessed....Beat him up too. Is now in Jail...Wife is preggers.Hubby messed withcondoms..Baby may be hubby's may be gardiners.. Wife screw with paternity test,show baby is hubbys
Bree...Stepford wife..Had affair with pharmicist..Pharmicist replaced Bree's Hubby's pills with bad drugs. Bree's Hubby Die..Bree blamed with ihs death? Bree's son Gay..Gay son not sign of perfect Stepford wife..Wife try to make son straight.
Terri Hatcher,IE susan. Sleep with maintenece man who really is PI.. He searching for man who kill ex girlfreiend( and steal his baby)..Ex girlfriend have baby whom she gives to Original Desperate housewife,who than kills her ,kills herself and raises other womans son,until secret is to be revealed,then kills herself.... Dead murderer now narrarate show..
Pathetic SAHM....Screws up hubby's career and now must work while hubby stays home..Actress win oscar.
SLutty Mom. Uou will know her when you see her.Jealous of housewife who sleep with PI whose girlfriend had baby and got killed .
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[travelbug]

I think I am the only female in the US who has never watched Desperate Housewives.

Nope, you're not the only one. I've never watched it either, and really don't plan to.