Dentist issues

[ksumn1]

I 've had issues with my DD's dentist for about a year and am in the process of changing dentists. It's a long post but I wanted some input. My DMom told me I'm being petty and that I shouldn't change dentists now becasue they "know" them and it will cause them anxiety to see a new dentist. I really don't see any reason for staying with the old dentist. Here's why:

Last year my oldest DD (8 yrs old) had a cavity on a baby tooth in the back that was very loose. Dentist advised a filling. I asked him was it really necessary since the tooth was almost ready to come out. I was told absolutely and was asked to talk to him in his office. He proceeded to show me very detailed pictures of rotted, cavity laden teeth and was told how painful they can be to DD, how it can affect her health etc. I told him I understood because she had a filling the previous year with no compalints or questions on my part. I also told him I thought it was ridiculous and a wast of MY $$ and the insurance company's $$ to put a filling on a tooth that was sooo loose that she was wiggling it every day so she could get her Tooth Fairy $$. (It was THAT loose) 5 days later the tooth fell out

Next visit everything's fine, no cavaties...they try to charge me $115 for both cleanings (we get 2 free cleanings a year) Took me 15 minutes to get that straightened out. Asked the Office Manager about the $70 refund I was owed for previous filling and she told me they don't give refunds, only a credit. They charge you your deductible plus your 80% of what THEY estimate the charges to be...knowing the insurance company will not pay that much. They only pay $xxxx for fillings and the dentist office knows this, yet they charge you up front. I left knowing I would fight the battle another day.

Last week, went back for cleanings. Waited 1 hour for 1st DD to go back, then 2nd DD goes back and I'm told older DD needs a filling. And so does younger DD. I was chided for not "teaching them proper dental hygiene" I asked him what more can I do. They each brush ther teeth with me watching, then they floss. I use a pick on older DD's teeth in the back since they have deep grooves. Then I brush younger DD's teeth and make older DD brush AGAIN!! We use the timer both times, have flouride in our drinking water, bring them in for cleanings...WTH????? I lost it. Both cleanings were done, I told him I was very upset because I DO my best. I have dentures (loooong story) so I understand the importance. I advised him to cancel the appointments for fillings as I would be seeing another dentist. He asked Why? So I told him I was not happy with his demeanor toward me, the over 2 1/2 hours it takes to get a simple cleaning done, their billing practices and deliberate overbooking of patients. He said "Good luck with your new dentist" and rolled his eyes. Then to top it off I was told on the way out that I once again owed for the visit. Very nicely I explained that I do not have to pay for cleanings. Another discussion ensued with the office manager, and again she refused to give me a refund nor would she cancel the appointments. And I was told that beginning Aug 1, no more checks, no more parents in the back for procedures, no more than 1 person back with the patient at a time (They made a 4 yr old wait in the waiting room alone while a Mom went back with her 10 yr old that very day) I never pay with a debit card or cc for dr visits. I use checks and keep the copy with the claim form in case an issue arises. And they will no longer see adult patients after August as well. My DH had an appointment for the 1st time in 2 years for December but no one had called to tell us. (He doesn't like the dentist and was only going back because I nagged him to death about it)

This is the only dentist in our town that is in network so I've tried to brush it off for the last year. It's to the point where I don't mind the extra 40 minute ride to the new dentist. I kinda understand the 1 parent or guest rule and the no parents rule during treatments but I don't like it.

I guess I just needed to vent. I've never really complained alot and been a patient myself at this practice for 15 years. Ever since the old dentist retired and a new one took over, it's just gotten worse and worse. The staff are not very friendly nor helpful and I don't feel like a valued patient. I feel like all they see is $$$$ and not the patient. I know it's a business but you have to treat people with some respect, kindness and understanding. Oh well, thanks for listening to me. Now all I have to do is get the kids and DH's records, my refund and go elsewhere. And I have the feeling that it won't be easy or pretty. And I reallly hate confrontation but dang it, I'm getting my $$ back!!

 

[MomtoEmIs&Ow]

Sorry that they gave you such a hard time, I work in the dental field , and an hour in the waiting room is crazy! With all the other problems it sounds like it is best to move on. Good luck!!!

 

[bumbershoot]

You say they are IN network? Now I know that dental insurance is different from medical insurance, but I bet the dental insurance company might like to know their practices of taking your money even when they KNOW that the insurance company is only going to pay a certain percentage.

So that would be my first call.

"I kinda understand the 1 parent or guest rule and the no parents rule during treatments but I don't like it."

Well I don't understand an office that has children go back without a parent, and I will NOT give a practitioner money, whether OOP or from insurance, who has that rule. Just b/c someone is a dentist doesn't mean they are a good person, and even if they aren't doing naughty things, OUR childhood dentist went against my mother's stated instructions Every Single Appointment and she didn't know until we came out, sick for the rest of the day (b/c of fluoride treatments), every time.

You're not being petty. They don't sound like good dentists, they don't sound like good office managers. Leave 'em, and except for your refund, don't look back. And call the dental insurance company.

 

[mommyof2princesses]

I would find another dentist. i could never stay with a practicioner that treated me so poorly. We go to one that has a very nice office staff, great hygienists and a pretty nice dentist. Our youngest goes to a pediatric dentist. It is more expensive, but well worth it. We have to pay totally out of pocket as we have no dental insurance!

 

[Stephres]

I think a lot of dental problems are hereditary, so completely blaming you is horrible. We changed dentists a year ago and the kids did not suffer any trauma. I would start asking friends for recommendations. That's what we did and we couldn't be happier with our dentist.

Trust your mommy instinct!

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Find another dentist. When we moved to our town 10 years ago I looked for a dentist in my town. We went to one for a year and she was bad. I tried another, couldn't stand the practice. I had broken a tooth and had 4 people speak to me about paying my half before they even looked at my tooth. (I paid them late on purpose but that was a passive aggressive move on my part. )

I now drive an hour back to my old dentist. Every part of his practice is wonderful. Cleanings usually cost me a half of a Saturday because of the driving and we try to get everything done at once but it is definitely worth it.

You are not being petty. I would change dentists for lesser reasons then you are giving. Good luck.

 

[bartleby1]

I'd find a new dentist. Go with your gut feeling. Your mommy intuition is telling you that something is not right here and I agree.

Another thing that struck me in your post was that your 8 year old has deep grooves in her back teeth and you need to use a pick to clean them? Why hasn't the dentist sealed her back teeth? My kids all have inherited deep grooves in their back teeth but sealing them fills in the grooves so nothing gets stuck. There are also other ways to prevent cavities. My kids dentist uses some kind of machine has a pen that they use in their mouth that gives some kind of number rating and can detect weak areas in a tooth before it gets to be a cavity. They also have two of my kids on a special rinse that they use twice a day because they have acidic mouths, which can cause a higher rate of cavities. I believe the rinse changes the ph level in their mouth so bacteria don't grow as quickly and therefore the chances of cavities is less.

Also, at each appointment/cleaning, the hygenist spends time reminding and reteaching the kids out to brush properly and shows them which areas they need to work on. THEY teach the kids proper hygene and I reinforce it at home. For your dentist to turn around and blame you for "not teaching proper hygene" is ridiculous. That is part of their job as well as yours.

Filling a tooth that is ready to fall out in 5 days sounds money-hungry to me. A dentist can tell approximately when a tooth is going to fall out. My kids dentist showed me on an xray how my DS's teeth were 'disconnecting' before we ever saw any signs of them being loose. If a tooth is already wiggling that much, it is just silly to fill it.

Go with your instinct and get a new dentist that cares.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Your dentist sounds like an idiot. I would not go anywhere that I wasn't treated well. I also would not be sending my children back by themselves. Too bad so sad. When they are 18 we'll talk. Until then it is my right as a parent to be there. I would find a new dentist asap. The kids will be fine.

 

[bzzymom]

I am a nurse who worked in an oral surgeons office for 5 years. I was hearbroken when our dentist retired, but I followed our hygenist (because she is wonderfu) to the dentist that hired her. I really like him a lot and the docs I worked with would have him work on their families.

If I were in your shoes, I would find a new dentist. You always have the right to seek a second opinion from another dentist in regards to fillings and so on. Now, insurance may not pay for it, but you can request a copy of your xray and take it with you to the second dentist to help keep the cost down. I can't imagine filling a tooth that is very loose. Why didn't he just pull it?

As far as parent going in with the child. I have gone in with DD (4) and held her on my lap for her cleanings, until last month. She was big enough to sit in the chain and do what was asked of her. I can tell you that when it comes to my kids, they will act better if I am not in the room. When I am there, they reach for me and carry on and on, very dramatic, but if I step outside, they quiet down and do better.

Our insurance plan pays for cleanings every 6 months. Our dental office files the bill and our insurance pays us, and then I go pay the dentist. If I have the money to pay it at the time of service, I do, because I will be getting the money back. It takes about 2 weeks or so.

I can understand the dental office wanting money upfront. Some insurance plans take a month or two to pay. For example, there is once insurance plan for our state employees that takes anywhere from 4 to 6 months to pay. For those patients, we knew what insurance would be paying for each procedure, so we asked for the difference at the time of service.

 

[Benducci]

Sounds like my kids' dentist- I am changing also because I don't like their attitude or their practices - they cannot demand that you do not come in during cleanings.

Also - they cannot hold the money you are due - I would challenge that. Put it in writing that you want a refund of any past money owed you.

 

[dis-happy]

Run and don't look back. I LOVE my children's pediatric dentist, but we had some bad experiences before finding a good one. Some of the stuff you've described are red flags in my book. Even if you have to pay out of pocket for cleanings it's better than having your children truamatized (and ending up like your dh) for life re. dental visits.

Ask around and see who people in your area love.

Let the new dentist take care of getting the records transferred, you just have to sign a release.

It's illegal for them to keep your money from the insurance company after you also paid. If they don't refund it (send a certified letter and ask for the money you are still owed by a certain date) start complaining: to the insurance company, to the state board that oversees dentists in your state, the AG's office, the BBB. I'm sure you'll get some action then. If not, sue in small claims.

Wishing your family the best...