Denise's Happy, Healthy,Healing Journal-Posts welcome

[DisDee]

I've been in a foul mood for the last couple of days. I think it was caused by meeting an ex-coworker who is still employed and I had to listen to all kinds of crap about the company.

I've been on a couple of more interviews, and you know what's worse than not getting interviews, its not getting the job. I'm beginning to feel like I'm never going to find anything. I'm 55, overweight, and I've been limping around lately, so what employer is going to see past that? They don't know me and can't tell from a 10-minute interview that I'm a good worker, and have great people skills and I'm also great at problem-solving.

I'm going to stop ranting. Please feel free to ignore this post. I'll be back to my old pleasant self real soon.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Denise, rant away! I feel the same way you do, I need to find a job, can't find one, can't even get an interview and its making me feel just overall like crap! I think once things settle down in Washington people will hopefully begin to hire again? Just hang in there. And maybe change the subject when your coworker(s) start talking about the company!

Somebody will hire you, its not about your weight or age, its just a lousy economy. You have a lot to offer and I think your luck will change soon. In the meantime, hang in there!

 

[DisDee]

Thanks Amy, I need all the help that I can get to pull myself out of this funk. It doesn't help that the weather here is lousy. I was supposed to meet with my cousin today but she canceled cause of the weather. I've gotten myself into a rut here around the house. Problem is, most of my friends are at work, and those that aren't, are also unemployed, so meeting with them usually brings me down. I just need to make myself get out every day and go somewhere even if its to the library or the mall. I'm thinking about going to the fabric store tomorrow cause I'm doing the tables for my SIL's bridal shower, so that should help me feel a little better. Don't worry about me, I'll make myself move on.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Denise, these are just scary times. And it is despressing to hang out with people who are also experiencing tough times! I think getting out of the house is always a good thing and good for your body, mind and soul. Just a walk to window shop through the mall can really help.

I know you'll get out of your funk, things will get better soon. In the meantime, use the WISH board to vent, that's what we're all here for.

Hang in there, I hope today was better!

 

[goldcupmom]

Hang in there, Dee! We can all survive this, but it sure is getting ugly! I understand the blues, cuz I've had them all week, too!

Try to look at the good stuff! God is still in control!

Hope you have a better weekend!

 

[Goofydiane]

Denise -

Feel free to rant away, we are here to listen. I hope today was better.

 

[DisDee]

I thought I'd take a few minutes to check in before I start my day. I'm feeling somewhat better, I just need to make an effort to plan some different things to do this week. I need to shake up my life a little. So... my plans for today are-go for my mammogram this morning, do a little healthy grocery shopping, then swim this afternoon. Exciting, right?

If you check my siggie, you'll see that I added POFQ in March to my trip list. We booked cheap airfare again a few months back (78.00 total for 2, ACY to MCO), but didn't think we'd go cause of my job situation. Hubby and I had a discussion about a quick trip, and decided that if I don't have a job, we're going to do it. The main reason is, I'm probably going to have the knee surgery, so I'll be out of commission for awhile, so a quick trip prior to that will be therapeutic for me. He's been so great thru all my ups and downs this past year and a half, and always looking out for my well-being. We won't do any parks cause that will be a waste of money with the way I'm hobbling around, but may go to a water park with the last of our old Park Hopper Plus options. We also may catch a game at WWOS-we've never been there before. So, if you have any ideas of cheap entertainment at WDW, let me know. I'd be happy to lounge around the pool and resort, but hubby gets a little antsy, so we'll do stuff that doesn't include a whole lot of walking. We were originally going to stay at a Value, but we thought since we don't need park admission, we'd go for the Moderate. We took advantage of the room-only discount offer and we'll only be there for 3 nights.

Gotta run and get my shower. I'll continue later.

 

[goldcupmom]

Trip sounds like a good plan! for a good mammogram today. I go later in the month and am already stressing!!!

Have a wonderful week!

 

[DisDee]

I'm back. Thanks Julie!!!!

I've spent the last several days trying to formulate a plan to help me feel better physically. I've been hurting quite a bit lately and because my left knee is giving me problems,now my right hip is hurting too. I think my body is all out of whack.So, I need to resume my stretching routine even though I hurt and go to the gym more often. They offer a variety of classes for "older" adults, and even though I am probably the youngest of the oldies, the classes are geared to my level of fitness at this point. I need to build up as much strength as I can prior to knee surgery. My appt. is March 2, so at that point we dicusss the surgery in depth and start scheduling the pre-admission labs and set the date. My x-rays show bone-on-bone and the doc is surprised that I was getting around as well as I was. I want to feel better, and if this is the course I need to take, then I'm ready.

So, I can't continue to fool around pretending to lose some weight. Sure, I'm down 25 lbs from my all time highest, but most of that came off before I had the hysterectomy and was due to the state of anxiety that I was in. I've been up and down the same 5 or 6 pounds for the last year. I was thinking about doing WW on-line, but I decided that I need to get out and go to meetings and be motivated by other members. I know its more expensive, but my insurance co. will reimburse me 200.00 if I enroll with them and WW is an approved program. I thought about a hospital-related program also, but they don't offer the meeting flexibility that WW does. I figured I can switch over to the on-line program while I'm recovering, and then switch back to meetings when I can get around again.I just need to do something really positive for myself, I've been feeling down so often lately. Yikes, am I whining or what?

I asked for an employment app. while I was at the radiology center today. The receptionist said I had to go thru the HR office, but gave me the name of the contact, and also told me to use her name as a referral. I don't have any medical experience, but I've worked in customer service for years, so that should be a plus. I did enroll in that medical terminology class, but it was canceled due to lack of enrollment. I couldn't believe it! There is an online version starting up in a few weeks, so I'll probably register for that.

Well, I think I've blabbed on enough for today. Thanks for listening!

 

[Foxfiregrrl]

Hey, Denise! I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling down a lot lately. I can see where you are coming from with the knee, no work, and this blah winter weather. Hang in there though!! You know all of this will pass.

Here is some PD for job hunting!

I'm glad to hear that you will be having the knee surgery. It sounds like it will really help you to feel better.

I think doing WW is a great idea. I think that, like you said, it is a good way to get out of the house. Plus it will give you some positive interactions with new people

Congratulations on the quickie trip to Disney I'm a tad jealous! It sounds like it will be a nice get away for you guys. I don't really know much to do besides the parks, but I think just chilling around the hotel would be Wonderful!!

Hope you have a Great week!! Get out of the house as much as possible and think happy thoughts

 

[Amy&Dan]

Denise, good job booking the POFQ trip! I love that resort. You have the boat to DTD. YOu also have full use of all of POR's pools and activites. I love to rent a surrey bike at POR and they also have carriage rides. You can bus or walk to POR very easily. And I think its fun to check out some of the other resorts on the DTD boat line, Old Key West and Saratoga Springs. SSR's restaurant Turf Club is wonderful. You can't take the same boat, but you can boat from POFQ to DTD and then hop right on the SSR/OKW boat very easily. I love the water parks, the lazy river is my favorite way to relax at WDW. I also think its fun to just ride the monorail around. You could always go over to the Poly and see Wishes from the beach. Its a great view and anybody can use their beach area. They have the electrical water pageant as well. So that's my long winded suggestion list!

I think doing WW is a great idea, I really do believe in that program. And taking some classes at your gym is a great idea. It gets you out and it gets your active.

It sounds like the knee surgery is your best bet. I'll keep you in my prayers and in the meantime, just keep busy! And that would be awesome if you got on at the hospital. Health care is a safer thing to be in now, not as many lay offs. I hope it works out!

 

[DisDee]

So, I did it...joined WW that is. I picked a bad day to enroll, cause DH and I had already planned to go to a pub/steakhouse for dinner. I checked the menu out ahead of time, and went with broiled scallops (I'm a big seafood fan) salad bar, and 1/3 of the serving of mashed pot. I did not take any salads with mayo, and stuck to the veggie choices. I'm really proud of myself that I used sesame seeds instead of croutons, and did not eat any bread. I feel that I did really well for my first day even though I used some flex points. Tonight we're eating at home, so I'm making a turkey meatloaf with salsa, grilled asparagus, and maybe rice or pasta, but a really small serving.

Our DD is coming for the weekend, so I need to get ready for her, and straighten up her room which is a dumping ground for me. She's getting her hair cut at my stylist, and we're going to Carabba's with a gift cert. from a friend of her's who's a mgr. Not sure what else we'll do, but it will be great to have her around!

Amy, thanks for the ideas of things to do at WDW. You gave me a couple of new suggestions that I'll be sure to try. We plan to hit a couple of new eateries-The Earl of Sandwich, and the Big River Grill, just for a change of pace. I know we'll find plenty to do even without going to the parks, so I'm enjoying planning the trip.

I need to get myself in gear and get something accomplished around here. Have a great Thursday!!!

Feb. Exercise...1 hour 45min., Day 2 WW

 

[Amy&Dan]

Denise, congratulations on joining Weight Watchers! That is awesome you did so well at the restaurant, that's always a challenge. Enjoy your visit with your daughter and Carrabas. I have never been there and it looks so good!

I love the Big River Grille. We enjoy having lunch there and sitting outside. That whole Boardwalk area is really lovely. You're going to have a great time!

Good job on getting in those exercise minutes!

 

[DisDee]

I met with 2 of my former co-workers for lunch on Friday who were layed-off also. Even though it was a bit** session, we blew off some steam then left it all behind us. The worst thing was running into 3 of the VP's who were having lunch there also. We thought we had it timed so that anyone from the company would be back at the office, but we goofed. They were all huggy and friendly and it made me want to gag. These were guys who had input as to who was being let go. Of course, my well chosen plan of having soup and a roll for lunch turned into pizza and a cannoli. But I bit the bullet, logged my points and moved on. Any other time I would have just said I blew it and ate whatever I wanted for the rest of the day, so I'm happy that I kept focused. After that, I came home to my mammo. results letter which stated that I needed to come in for more images and an ultra-sound. This has happened to me before and back in 2002 I had a biopsy which turned out fine, but I'm just so mad that I have to go thru more stress. I'm not worried yet, as I said just mad right now. The past year and a half have really sucked! I'm so thankful that I managed my treatment and then the lay-off with an optimistic state of mind, but lately I've been down, and this certainly doesn't help. I'm just glad that my DD is here this weekend to take my mind off of the additional tests. We're going to make one of those fleece, tie blankets for Linus day at a local hospital. The blankets go to kids that are ill or having some type of traumatic experience in their lives. Making the blanket will help me focus on something positive.

I'm going to try to get a little more sleep. Lately, I've been waking up during the night for a couple of hours, then going back to bed after I make myself tired again. I've had sleep issues since I started peri-menopause, but I've finally figured out how to manage it and keep myself in a calmer, restful mode. I'll be back later on today.

 

[goldcupmom]

Dee, I'll be praying for the stress about the mammo and the mammo itself. Been there, done that!

Glad you joined WW. As long as you behave, you lose......sounds simple, right? Then that stupid stress monster attacks.......

for all you have going on. Vent away when you need to!!!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Denise, I'll keep you in my prayers, I am sure it will be fine but I am so sorry you have to go through more stress. One thing about it, you have become so strong through all of this, your attitude is really amazing. Just hang in there, this too shall pass.

You should have sent the VP's the bill for your lunch! I am glad you had fun with your friends and so proud and impressed that you logged those points and stayed focused. That is what a successful weight watcher does, she eats what she wants in moderation and makes it work. So good job!

I hope you are having a wonderful visit with your daughter, I bet you are.

Hang in there friend, things will get better and settle down very soon.

 

[DisDee]

Thanks Amy and Julie-I need all the prayers I can get!

So, today's the day for the second mammo. I picked up a copy of the radiology report and they're looking at a small asymmetric density in the right breast. Possibly an ultrasound too. I'm ok, just anxious and I want all this to be over with. I keep comparing where I was last year at this time-I started my radiation treatments on Feb.11. I've come a long way yet still have a nagging fear that I'll have to go thru treatment again. I know that I need to keep a positive attitude, but there's always going to be that shadow of doubt.

I met a friend at the mall yesterday and we did some shopping and had lunch. We didn't even do all that much walking, but later in the evening, I just ached in my legs and right hip. What the heck is going on with me? I feel so ancient.I'm going to the pool today after the tests, so maybe that will help my old achy body.

I also plan to tackle the fed. taxes today. Hopefully we'll get a small refund and I can use that for our trip in March. I love "found" money, and I can really get creative with my financing for a trip.

That's it for now. I'll check back later with news from the test.
Have a wonderful Wednesday!

 

[DisDee]

Great news...I had 2 additional views taken, then was told I was good to do, but come back in 6 months. I'll call my doc in a few days to get the official report. I am feeling so much better now!

Did my rough copy of the fed. tax and we're getting a nice refund that will pay for most of the 3-nite trip. I felt really guilty about going, and was going to cancel unless we got the refund. I just couldn't justify a trip if we had to dip into savings. I do look at my life a bit differently now when it comes to taking little vacations and enjoying life's other little pleasures, but not at the risk of making a financial mistake.

Food has been kind of crappy, but exercise is good. Now that I have some peace of mind, I'll be back on track.

Wishing you all a great big, beautiful tomorrow!

 

[Foxfiregrrl]

Hi, Dee! I'm hoping you got good news from your doctor when you called I'm sorry that you had to go through that worrisome time!

Congratulations on the tax refund! I'm glad that it will allow you to take your vacation! I understand your feelings on the vacation. I think it is very important to enjoy yourself and enjoying the little pleasures, but I also couldn't imagine doing so at the expense of my future savings. I think that is great though that you will be able to go without dipping into the savings!

Keep up the WW logging and getting in the exercise! Little by little it will come together and you will feel better and better!

Have a great week!

 

[DisDee]

I just can't believe how quickly the days fly by when I'm doing a whole lot of nothing. I've been out of work for almost 5 months, which is longer than I was off for my surgery and treatment. I'm still feeling a bit down, but I think a lot of it has to do with the winter weather. I did go out today to take care of some errands and went to a local park and did a little bit of walking. We'll be in WDW in less than 3 weeks, so I need to get moving a little more. The pool is great for stretching and strengthening, but its not like being on solid ground where my knee takes the full stress of my body weight.

I've decided to start keeping a list of all the things that I'm thankful for, so I'll share some thoughts with you guys too!

I'm very thankful that my DH had a great job with the opportunity to work OT now and then, which greatly helps our finances while I'm out of work.

I'm also thankful for our little get-a-ways which help keep life fun and exciting.

I'm super thankful that my health is good and that I have a great team of doctors and other health care professionals that take such good care of me.

This is just what I need to do-focus on the positive, and work thru my negative thoughts. Thanks for listening!