Debt Dumpers - 2017

[Jen and Ashwin]

I am starting to think that I will not be having a baby shower. Most of my closest friends live far away and my best friend here hasn't offered to host or anything. I have tried to hint to my mom that she could host, but she just seems to shrug it off and say things like, well none of your friends lives in Illinois anymore. And then I said, well, it wouldn't make sense to have it there but rather here in Michigan. Then she just goes quiet. I guess she has no interest.

DH's department has offered to host a little shower for us at his office. They said they do it for everyone that is expecting. I really appreciate that though it isn't quite the same as having a shower with friends and family. I only just met DH's coworkers for the first time two weeks ago. Its not that I will die without a shower or anything, but it was something that I was looking forward to given that this has been a long and stressful journey for us. It seemed like a nice time to celebrate with our closest people.

 

[DisneyMandC]

I am starting to think that I will not be having a baby shower. Most of my closest friends live far away and my best friend here hasn't offered to host or anything. I have tried to hint to my mom that she could host, but she just seems to shrug it off and say things like, well none of your friends lives in Illinois anymore. And then I said, well, it wouldn't make sense to have it there but rather here in Michigan. Then she just goes quiet. I guess she has no interest.

DH's department has offered to host a little shower for us at his office. They said they do it for everyone that is expecting. I really appreciate that though it isn't quite the same as having a shower with friends and family. I only just met DH's coworkers for the first time two weeks ago. Its not that I will die without a shower or anything, but it was something that I was looking forward to given that this has been a long and stressful journey for us. It seemed like a nice time to celebrate with our closest people.

Maybe your mom is going to do a surprise shower since she keeps going quiet when you talk about it. I certainly hope you will get one, especially after everything you've gone through, as you said.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

Maybe your mom is going to do a surprise shower since she keeps going quiet when you talk about it. I certainly hope you will get one, especially after everything you've gone through, as you said.

No. My mom is not the kind of person that would throw a surprise anything. Honestly, ever since my wedding, I feel that my relationship with my parents hasn't been that great. Not terrible, but not super close either. I honestly thought that my mom would offer to host and I am feeling a bit disappointed. And this is making all of those feelings from my wedding resurface again.

And then I thought to myself, well maybe it is because mom's don't usually host baby showers. So I texted my two besties and asked who hosted their showers. And they both said it was their moms. And I told them that I had been trying to hint to my mom about a shower, but she seemed to have no interest at all. Well, my friend Brenda said she would love to host, she just hadn't offered because she assumed that my mom would be the host and she didn't want to step on her toes. I just wish I had had this conversation sooner because I have just 3 months left, so the shower will probably have to be in early September, not a ton of time.

 

[amalone1013]

No. My mom is not the kind of person that would throw a surprise anything. Honestly, ever since my wedding, I feel that my relationship with my parents hasn't been that great. Not terrible, but not super close either. I honestly thought that my mom would offer to host and I am feeling a bit disappointed. And this is making all of those feelings from my wedding resurface again.

And then I thought to myself, well maybe it is because mom's don't usually host baby showers. So I texted my two besties and asked who hosted their showers. And they both said it was their moms. And I told them that I had been trying to hint to my mom about a shower, but she seemed to have no interest at all. Well, my friend Brenda said she would love to host, she just hadn't offered because she assumed that my mom would be the host and she didn't want to step on her toes. I just wish I had had this conversation sooner because I have just 3 months left, so the shower will probably have to be in early September, not a ton of time.

I feel for you I'm in a teeny bit similar situation for my wedding. Due to lots of family drama, we're having a very small wedding. I haven't spoken to my dad and sister in almost two years. At first, we postponed our wedding, because I hoped things would get worked out, but they didn't. Finally I decided I can't put my life on hold over it, and we figured out our small wedding. We haven't told many people. My dad's family is very large, so it feels weird to not have anything with them. My best friend and her parents know and are invited, and she knows she is supposed to be my Maid of Honor. We're really just having BM/MOH. Well, my best friend has been very low interest, and no mention or asking if I'd be interested in a shower or bachellorette or anything with friends. She knows the whole story behind the family drama, and that I don't have anyone else to do one because of it. Lately she's been telling me she thinks I need to tell my dad, call a truce, etc, basically siding with him over the drama. Even after I've explained all of my feelings and have really thought it through, and that it goes back before the family drama. Really, the big drama was more of the catalyst, and made me sit down and be honest with myself about the things I was trying to ignore since my mom passed away 5 years ago.

I hope everything works out for your shower. You deserve to celebrate with important people at this time!

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

I feel for you I'm in a teeny bit similar situation for my wedding. Due to lots of family drama, we're having a very small wedding. I haven't spoken to my dad and sister in almost two years. At first, we postponed our wedding, because I hoped things would get worked out, but they didn't. Finally I decided I can't put my life on hold over it, and we figured out our small wedding. We haven't told many people. My dad's family is very large, so it feels weird to not have anything with them. My best friend and her parents know and are invited, and she knows she is supposed to be my Maid of Honor. We're really just having BM/MOH. Well, my best friend has been very low interest, and no mention or asking if I'd be interested in a shower or bachellorette or anything with friends. She knows the whole story behind the family drama, and that I don't have anyone else to do one because of it. Lately she's been telling me she thinks I need to tell my dad, call a truce, etc, basically siding with him over the drama. Even after I've explained all of my feelings and have really thought it through, and that it goes back before the family drama. Really, the big drama was more of the catalyst, and made me sit down and be honest with myself about the things I was trying to ignore since my mom passed away 5 years ago.

I hope everything works out for your shower. You deserve to celebrate with important people at this time!

I am sorry for all of your family drama. I wish families were easier, but they just aren't sometimes and it sucks.

Well, I told my mom that my friend offered to host. And I told her that my friend hadn't offered sooner because she assumed that my mom would be hosting. Well, that seemed to make her feel guilty and she basically offered to co-host the shower and asked me to give her phone number to my friend. Honestly, my head now hurts! Now to figure out all of the details, like date, location, etc. etc.

 

[Eureka]

I am starting to think that I will not be having a baby shower. Most of my closest friends live far away and my best friend here hasn't offered to host or anything. I have tried to hint to my mom that she could host, but she just seems to shrug it off and say things like, well none of your friends lives in Illinois anymore. And then I said, well, it wouldn't make sense to have it there but rather here in Michigan. Then she just goes quiet. I guess she has no interest.

DH's department has offered to host a little shower for us at his office. They said they do it for everyone that is expecting. I really appreciate that though it isn't quite the same as having a shower with friends and family. I only just met DH's coworkers for the first time two weeks ago. Its not that I will die without a shower or anything, but it was something that I was looking forward to given that this has been a long and stressful journey for us. It seemed like a nice time to celebrate with our closest people.

I'm sure your work will do something. Showers are supposed to be a surprise, so maybe one or more are in the works and you just don't know.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

I'm sure your work will do something. Showers are supposed to be a surprise, so maybe one or more are in the works and you just don't know.

My office is just 3 people besides myself, so I doubt they would throw a shower. I planned to ask for my co-workers to be invited to a shower if someone threw one for me. And I have never really known baby showers to be a surprise event among any of my friends, honestly. Just too much coordination of people's schedules to make something like that happen. Or too hard to know who exactly should be invited without asking the expecting parents.

 

[amalone1013]

I wish families were easier, but they just aren't sometimes and it sucks.

This is the truth, in so many ways.

Honestly, my head now hurts! Now to figure out all of the details, like date, location, etc. etc.

Lol sometimes this makes me just want to say, pick a side and stick with it! I hope all the details come together easily for you!

 

[Eureka]

My office is just 3 people besides myself, so I doubt they would throw a shower. I planned to ask for my co-workers to be invited to a shower if someone threw one for me. And I have never really known baby showers to be a surprise event among any of my friends, honestly. Just too much coordination of people's schedules to make something like that happen. Or too hard to know who exactly should be invited without asking the expecting parents.

I don't know, it doesn't take much to have a reason for a party. My department is five people and my manager is pregnant with her second baby. I already know we'll be doing something for her closer to when the time comes.

 

[DisneyMandC]

I've managed not to go nuts on Prime Days. The deals this year and the eligible items are significantly better than previous years (IMO), but I've kept it sane. Bought a 60 pack of Tupperware for $20. It matches what we have and that stuff must go the same places socks in the dryer go. DH bought himself a backpack since the one he uses on overnight business trips as a carry on has a hole. I'm going to try to get the Petco and Airbnb $50 gift cards on sale for $39.50 each later, but I watched the Regal gift card sell out in 20 seconds earlier, so I don't know how successful I'll be.

The only splurge I bought was three books with the $5 off $15 book purchase deal. I made sure to buy books that put my total at $15.14, so I got three books for $10.14!

 

[Ngwira]

Quick update on us. When we went to Las Vegas last month, there were several delays due to heat related issues (120 degree heatwave). We were supposed to be on a non stop flight (hubby is a super nervous flyer) but had a layover in Kansas City, Missouri. We also arrived at close to midnight, instead of 7pm. Southwest made it up to us by giving us 4 vouchers to be used within a year. We were headed to Disney next month on Amtrak with a 19 hour trip . However, I was able to find flights out of Philly to Orlando on SW for $117 each way. Because of the vouchers, I was able to cancel Amtrak and pay for flights for only $84 out of pocket total for the 4 of us! I was also able to extend our trip by 2 days since it will only take us 2 hours and 15 minutes to get home instead of 19! We are now spending 9 days in Florida (7 at Disney) instead of 7. I used points to pay for an offsite hotel for the extra 2 nights so nothing out of pocket. We're at the Hampton Inn Lake Buena Vista which includes free breakfast, wifi and parking. Were at the Grand Floridian for 7 nights and 6 days at the parks.

Amtrak gave us a voucher for the cancelled train fare which I used to book a train trip to Niagara Falls next June. I have some free night certificates to burn through Hyatt and I plan to use them in Toronto. Overall, I'm very happy with how things turned out. Just wanted to share.

 

[DawnM]

I've managed not to go nuts on Prime Days. The deals this year and the eligible items are significantly better than previous years (IMO), but I've kept it sane. Bought a 60 pack of Tupperware for $20. It matches what we have and that stuff must go the same places socks in the dryer go. DH bought himself a backpack since the one he uses on overnight business trips as a carry on has a hole. I'm going to try to get the Petco and Airbnb $50 gift cards on sale for $39.50 each later, but I watched the Regal gift card sell out in 20 seconds earlier, so I don't know how successful I'll be.

The only splurge I bought was three books with the $5 off $15 book purchase deal. I made sure to buy books that put my total at $15.14, so I got three books for $10.14!

Do you mean Rubbermade? I am trying to figure out what deal you got.

 

[amalone1013]

I've managed not to go nuts on Prime Days. The deals this year and the eligible items are significantly better than previous years (IMO), but I've kept it sane. Bought a 60 pack of Tupperware for $20. It matches what we have and that stuff must go the same places socks in the dryer go. DH bought himself a backpack since the one he uses on overnight business trips as a carry on has a hole. I'm going to try to get the Petco and Airbnb $50 gift cards on sale for $39.50 each later, but I watched the Regal gift card sell out in 20 seconds earlier, so I don't know how successful I'll be.

The only splurge I bought was three books with the $5 off $15 book purchase deal. I made sure to buy books that put my total at $15.14, so I got three books for $10.14!

Don't refresh the page lol. I got a hotels.com one and that was a tip I read. I just watched as the countdown switched to add to cart!

Meant to send this earlier, but was in training at work.

 

[amalone1013]

Quick update on us. When we went to Las Vegas last month, there were several delays due to heat related issues (120 degree heatwave). We were supposed to be on a non stop flight (hubby is a super nervous flyer) but had a layover in Kansas City, Missouri. We also arrived at close to midnight, instead of 7pm. Southwest made it up to us by giving us 4 vouchers to be used within a year. We were headed to Disney next month on Amtrak with a 19 hour trip . However, I was able to find flights out of Philly to Orlando on SW for $117 each way. Because of the vouchers, I was able to cancel Amtrak and pay for flights for only $84 out of pocket total for the 4 of us! I was also able to extend our trip by 2 days since it will only take us 2 hours and 15 minutes to get home instead of 19! We are now spending 9 days in Florida (7 at Disney) instead of 7. I used points to pay for an offsite hotel for the extra 2 nights so nothing out of pocket. We're at the Hampton Inn Lake Buena Vista which includes free breakfast, wifi and parking. Were at the Grand Floridian for 7 nights and 6 days at the parks.

Amtrak gave us a voucher for the cancelled train fare which I used to book a train trip to Niagara Falls next June. I have some free night certificates to burn through Hyatt and I plan to use them in Toronto. Overall, I'm very happy with how things turned out. Just wanted to share.

So glad that worked out! Delays are a pain, but that helps make up for it. I'm going to use your trips as inspiration for our travel next year, since we'll get the companion pass at the end of the week

 

[DisneyMandC]

Do you mean Rubbermade? I am trying to figure out what deal you got.

Yes, sorry, I just call all of it tupperware! It was the 60 piece Rubbermaid set, but I see it's back up to $43.99 now so the deal must've ended this morning.

 

[Ngwira]

So glad that worked out! Delays are a pain, but that helps make up for it. I'm going to use your trips as inspiration for our travel next year, since we'll get the companion pass at the end of the week

I'm so jealous of your companion pass. I'm dying to go to Vegas again next year but we have 3 big trips planned so it's a no go. I'm shooting for Vegas in April 2019. We had such a good time!!!

Enjoy your companion pass. I'd totally use it to visit all of the US National parks. The super amazing ones are out West, much to my chagrin. Did you know that Southwest now flies to Grand Cayman? I hear Hawaii is also on the radar.
Hope you have lots of good uses for your pass!!

 

[Ngwira]

I am sorry for all of your family drama. I wish families were easier, but they just aren't sometimes and it sucks.

Well, I told my mom that my friend offered to host. And I told her that my friend hadn't offered sooner because she assumed that my mom would be hosting. Well, that seemed to make her feel guilty and she basically offered to co-host the shower and asked me to give her phone number to my friend. Honestly, my head now hurts! Now to figure out all of the details, like date, location, etc. etc.

I'm glad you're getting your shower. A very similar thing happened to me with my mom and it caused such a deep rift that we didn't speak for two years. I'm glad you're not headed down that path . Enjoy the shower and focus on the fact that your family and friends are celebrating the upcoming arrival of your daughter. Congrats again!!

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

I'm glad you're getting your shower. A very similar thing happened to me with my mom and it caused such a deep rift that we didn't speak for two years. I'm glad you're not headed down that path . Enjoy the shower and focus on the fact that your family and friends are celebrating the upcoming arrival of your daughter. Congrats again!!

Thanks. I try very hard not to let these things lead to a deeper rift. I do love my parents, but sometimes it feels difficult to maintain a good relationship when they display some of their less desirable qualities (which has seemed to be often over the last several years). In some ways I feel that maybe I am being selfish, wanting a shower and hinting to my mom about it. But then, almost all of my friend's moms hosted their showers so I just assumed that it wasn't going to be this big issue. Ugh, I think I am just getting really emotional lately. I am going to blame it on hormones.

 

[amalone1013]

I'm so jealous of your companion pass. I'm dying to go to Vegas again next year but we have 3 big trips planned so it's a no go. I'm shooting for Vegas in April 2019. We had such a good time!!!

Enjoy your companion pass. I'd totally use it to visit all of the US National parks. The super amazing ones are out West, much to my chagrin. Did you know that Southwest now flies to Grand Cayman? I hear Hawaii is also on the radar.
Hope you have lots of good uses for your pass!!

I'm so excited! I'm hoping to fit in multiple weekend trips next year, bc DF doesn't have much vacation time. Right now we've got WDW in a couple months, then in January, and DL/Cali for a wedding in April. And I have a feeling we'll be back to Vegas, maybe even this year. Our first trip was spurred by DF going out for a job - well he got it, which means he has to go back out at least twice, each time a phase starts. I've thought about Nashville (we're Country music fans) and Columbus, OH (DF has wanted to go to Cedar Point forever, and he always asks if he ever goes that way for a job could he go... well my new hobby might make that happen ). I love the parks idea. I need to keep browsing!

 

[Ngwira]

Thanks. I try very hard not to let these things lead to a deeper rift. I do love my parents, but sometimes it feels difficult to maintain a good relationship when they display some of their less desirable qualities (which has seemed to be often over the last several years). In some ways I feel that maybe I am being selfish, wanting a shower and hinting to my mom about it. But then, almost all of my friend's moms hosted their showers so I just assumed that it wasn't going to be this big issue. Ugh, I think I am just getting really emotional lately. I am going to blame it on hormones.

I don't think you're being unreasonable with your expectations. That's the norm in this country-that your mother throws your baby shower. My mother lives in a different country now so she blamed it on a "cultural misunderstanding"..lol Anyway, bottom line is you are getting your shower. In a perfect world, your mom would have stepped up without prompting, but we know that this world, let alone the humans that live in it, isn't perfect. Keep your head up. It will all work out .