Debt Dumpers - 2016

[PrincessKymm]

@Jen and Ashwin
She came to me for help so I'm helping as much as I can. I am using the principles and tips I learned here to help. I am going to recommend a budget software but I am pretty sure she left the laptop with her ex-husband. I think she has a tablet but I'm not 100% sure.

I've typed out a very simplified version of a debt snowball with numbers similar to her current numbers. Hoping this helps open her eyes to what she could have if she buckled down for a little bit.

What makes me so frustrated with her, is she has had 6 months to get her act together. 6 months of not paying rent or utilities at the kindness of my aunt and uncle and she hasn't done anything to help herself! Don't get me started on how little she has helped them in return! I get so angry. If I had 6 months rent free somewhere I'd be golden! Even a month would be glorious!! She's getting kicked out soon and finally realized she needs help.

I'm also frustrated b/c I asked for her papers over a month ago and I still don't have them. I finally got her approximate income today which isn't much but I've survived on it before, with a kid, so I know she can do it as a single person. She just needs to grow up and like everyone else she doesn't want to.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

@Jen and Ashwin
She came to me for help so I'm helping as much as I can. I am using the principles and tips I learned here to help. I am going to recommend a budget software but I am pretty sure she left the laptop with her ex-husband. I think she has a tablet but I'm not 100% sure.

I've typed out a very simplified version of a debt snowball with numbers similar to her current numbers. Hoping this helps open her eyes to what she could have if she buckled down for a little bit.

What makes me so frustrated with her, is she has had 6 months to get her act together. 6 months of not paying rent or utilities at the kindness of my aunt and uncle and she hasn't done anything to help herself! Don't get me started on how little she has helped them in return! I get so angry. If I had 6 months rent free somewhere I'd be golden! Even a month would be glorious!! She's getting kicked out soon and finally realized she needs help.

I'm also frustrated b/c I asked for her papers over a month ago and I still don't have them. I finally got her approximate income today which isn't much but I've survived on it before, with a kid, so I know she can do it as a single person. She just needs to grow up and like everyone else she doesn't want to.

People can't change unless they want to change. You can try and help (which I admire), but ultimately it is up to your sister to do the real work of getting out of debt.

 

[DisneyMandC]

Thank you all for all of your thoughts and prayers for my FIL! He is still unconscious right now, but we did get the results of the EEG this morning which showed his brain function was slow but normal. They said there's no way to really tell the extent of his functionality until he wakes up, so we're just waiting for that. He was able to blink on command, and he woke up briefly this morning and panicked and they were able to get him back to sleep without sedating him for the first time. So to me, that seems like he at least his functionality as far as processing what people are telling him to do. I'm trying to check with some other doctors I know since DH and his mom didn't ask neuro this (and I'm not there), but he's been sedated almost nonstop since Saturday, including during the EEG, and has been on morphine and fentanyl, and to me that would slow your brain function down. I mean, you always here the "this is your brain; this is your brain on drugs" type thing. If you're on that many pain killers and sedatives, how could your brain possibly be processing at a normal speed? So hopefully that's the explanation for that.

 

[Eureka]

Thank you all for all of your thoughts and prayers for my FIL! He is still unconscious right now, but we did get the results of the EEG this morning which showed his brain function was slow but normal. They said there's no way to really tell the extent of his functionality until he wakes up, so we're just waiting for that. He was able to blink on command, and he woke up briefly this morning and panicked and they were able to get him back to sleep without sedating him for the first time. So to me, that seems like he at least his functionality as far as processing what people are telling him to do. I'm trying to check with some other doctors I know since DH and his mom didn't ask neuro this (and I'm not there), but he's been sedated almost nonstop since Saturday, including during the EEG, and has been on morphine and fentanyl, and to me that would slow your brain function down. I mean, you always here the "this is your brain; this is your brain on drugs" type thing. If you're on that many pain killers and sedatives, how could your brain possibly be processing at a normal speed? So hopefully that's the explanation for that.

I would think that would be the reason too. It is a good sign that he can follow directions and woke up this morning. Even being panicked is kind of good in a way bc it shows he had an appropriate response to something being different/not normal. I hope they take him off sedation....why has he been sedated so heavily for so long?

 

[DisneyMandC]

I would think that would be the reason too. It is a good sign that he can follow directions and woke up this morning. Even being panicked is kind of good in a way bc it shows he had an appropriate response to something being different/not normal. I hope they take him off sedation....why has he been sedated so heavily for so long?

He's woken up a couple times and panicked and they haven't been able to get him to calm down without sedation, so that's part of it. He also has two broken ribs from CPR and has been trying to breathe on his own over the respirator before they wanted him to. He would start breathing so hard over it that it was making his BP and heart rate go up, which they obviously didn't want after a heart attack, so they would sedate him so that only the respirator would breathe for him. They took him off the respirator this morning and left the breathing tube in (just in case) and he is breathing on his own without problems. He's off sedation now but still out, but I would imagine that he should be waking up somewhat before too long.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

He's woken up a couple times and panicked and they haven't been able to get him to calm down without sedation, so that's part of it. He also has two broken ribs from CPR and has been trying to breathe on his own over the respirator before they wanted him to. He would start breathing so hard over it that it was making his BP and heart rate go up, which they obviously didn't want after a heart attack, so they would sedate him so that only the respirator would breathe for him. They took him off the respirator this morning and left the breathing tube in (just in case) and he is breathing on his own without problems. He's off sedation now but still out, but I would imagine that he should be waking up somewhat before too long.

He may be panicking because of the breathing tube. It is very unnatural and scary to be hooked up to so many machines. But I agree, having a panicked response means that he knows something has happened. I hope everything will be alright once he wakes up.

 

[DisneyMandC]

He may be panicking because of the breathing tube. It is very unnatural and scary to be hooked up to so many machines. But I agree, having a panicked response means that he knows something has happened. I hope everything will be alright once he wakes up.

Yes, it's definitely from the breathing tube. When the respirator was on he would wake up some and panic and bite down on his oxygen, causing them to have to re-sedate him. I met DH for dinner tonight (all of this has been going on 2 hours from our house so DH has been staying down there) and he said one of their EMT friends visited and said she didn't expect him to wake up until at least Friday and then he will probably only be awake for a few minutes at a time before he's back out again. Thank you for your concern!

 

[Gena001]

Thank you all for all of your thoughts and prayers for my FIL! He is still unconscious right now, but we did get the results of the EEG this morning which showed his brain function was slow but normal. They said there's no way to really tell the extent of his functionality until he wakes up, so we're just waiting for that. He was able to blink on command, and he woke up briefly this morning and panicked and they were able to get him back to sleep without sedating him for the first time. So to me, that seems like he at least his functionality as far as processing what people are telling him to do. I'm trying to check with some other doctors I know since DH and his mom didn't ask neuro this (and I'm not there), but he's been sedated almost nonstop since Saturday, including during the EEG, and has been on morphine and fentanyl, and to me that would slow your brain function down. I mean, you always here the "this is your brain; this is your brain on drugs" type thing. If you're on that many pain killers and sedatives, how could your brain possibly be processing at a normal speed? So hopefully that's the explanation for that.

@DisneyMandC hugs and prayers for good news. Your family is in my thoughts.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

@Jen and Ashwin
She came to me for help so I'm helping as much as I can. I am using the principles and tips I learned here to help. I am going to recommend a budget software but I am pretty sure she left the laptop with her ex-husband. I think she has a tablet but I'm not 100% sure.

I've typed out a very simplified version of a debt snowball with numbers similar to her current numbers. Hoping this helps open her eyes to what she could have if she buckled down for a little bit.

What makes me so frustrated with her, is she has had 6 months to get her act together. 6 months of not paying rent or utilities at the kindness of my aunt and uncle and she hasn't done anything to help herself! Don't get me started on how little she has helped them in return! I get so angry. If I had 6 months rent free somewhere I'd be golden! Even a month would be glorious!! She's getting kicked out soon and finally realized she needs help.

I'm also frustrated b/c I asked for her papers over a month ago and I still don't have them. I finally got her approximate income today which isn't much but I've survived on it before, with a kid, so I know she can do it as a single person. She just needs to grow up and like everyone else she doesn't want to.

@Jen and Ashwin
She came to me for help so I'm helping as much as I can. I am using the principles and tips I learned here to help. I am going to recommend a budget software but I am pretty sure she left the laptop with her ex-husband. I think she has a tablet but I'm not 100% sure.

I've typed out a very simplified version of a debt snowball with numbers similar to her current numbers. Hoping this helps open her eyes to what she could have if she buckled down for a little bit.

What makes me so frustrated with her, is she has had 6 months to get her act together. 6 months of not paying rent or utilities at the kindness of my aunt and uncle and she hasn't done anything to help herself! Don't get me started on how little she has helped them in return! I get so angry. If I had 6 months rent free somewhere I'd be golden! Even a month would be glorious!! She's getting kicked out soon and finally realized she needs help.

I'm also frustrated b/c I asked for her papers over a month ago and I still don't have them. I finally got her approximate income today which isn't much but I've survived on it before, with a kid, so I know she can do it as a single person. She just needs to grow up and like everyone else she doesn't want to.

As a pp mentioned, you have to WANT to get out of debt. Kind of like other difficult tasks where one might feel a bit deprived such as quitting smoking, losing weight, or kicking an addiction.
Some people have to hit rock bottom before they accept that they have a problem.

 

[toystoryduo]

@DisneyMandC - Continued prayers for your FIL and for your family.

 

[momtosam]

Hello Debt Dumpers! Still debt dumping here. Now trying to weight dump, too. Can you say self-control issues? The food for the program I'm doing is a little increase to our food budget, but not unreasonable. By next year I'll hopefully be a millionaire with a bikini bod ;-)

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

M & T Bank is offering a $150 bonus for opening a checking account, which can be done online with a mere $25 initial deposit. To qualify for the bonus you just have to have a minimum $100 direct deposit.
So I opened one for me and one for dh. I think that's an easy $300.

I only had part of my paycheck direct deposited, the portion that goes to my biweekly car insurance fund. It was deposited yesterday and I got the bonus today. I linked this new account to my Capital One 360 checking account and I use the CO360 website to initiate transfers. Any transfer initiated by M&T's website results in something like a $4 fee. Another reason to love CO360.

Also there is no monthly fees with M&T as long as you have at least one transaction per month. It's very easy to close the account. They provide a mailing address so I don't even have to go to a local branch. I'll just make sure I have a July transaction (move the balance to my CO360 acct) so they don't drag their feet and hit me with a fee.

If you google M&T checking account bonus you can read any fine print.

It's easy to change our direct deposit at my work on their computer but for dh he has to hand the paper form in to personnel. Maybe I'll keep his til open I find another bonus offer.

TGIF!!

ETA: I just read there's a $50 early termination fee if it's closed in less than 180 days. Looks like I'll have to schedule some monthly transfers with my CO360 account so I don't get hit with a monthly fee.

 

[Dream big]

Just finding this now. Have read through several pages. Where do you suggest I start?

 

[gracie1]

Just finding this now. Have read through several pages. Where do you suggest I start?

You need to start by sitting down and listing all of your debt and what your interest rate is and minimum payment. Then you will need to set up a budget - the budget will be what your pay is and list all of your bills. Electric, rent/mortgage, etc and depending on your debt some people pay the lowest debt off first to start the snowball effect. Are you paying extra on your debt each month? If so then pay the minimum on all debts except one that you are focused on getting paid off. A lot of times if you have a lot of debt it's much easier to start with the smallest balance even if the interest isn't as high as the others to start making progress.

 

[PrincessKymm]

Just finding this now. Have read through several pages. Where do you suggest I start?

Also, Track your spending. Do it for at least a month. Where can you make improvements?

 

[dayvewc]

Not having a good time.

Was headed home from my aunts funeral in Pennsylvania, and hit a deer.

My car is no longer drivable, the fender rubs the front left wheel.

1000 miles from home, on a Sunday, on a holiday weekend, due back at work Tuesday morning, and no idea where or how to get my car repaired.

 

[PrincessKymm]

Not having a good time.

Was headed home from my aunts funeral in Pennsylvania, and hit a deer.

My car is no longer drivable, the fender rubs the front left wheel.

1000 miles from home, on a Sunday, on a holiday weekend, due back at work Tuesday morning, and no idea where or how to get my car repaired.

Ugh! I'm so sorry!

 

[DisneyMandC]

Not having a good time.

Was headed home from my aunts funeral in Pennsylvania, and hit a deer.

My car is no longer drivable, the fender rubs the front left wheel.

1000 miles from home, on a Sunday, on a holiday weekend, due back at work Tuesday morning, and no idea where or how to get my car repaired.

Oh jeez, I'm so sorry! And this is the new car? What a bummer.

 

[Gr8t Fan]

Not having a good time.

Was headed home from my aunts funeral in Pennsylvania, and hit a deer.

My car is no longer drivable, the fender rubs the front left wheel.

1000 miles from home, on a Sunday, on a holiday weekend, due back at work Tuesday morning, and no idea where or how to get my car repaired.

Oh no!! That really stinks.

 

[dayvewc]

Oh jeez, I'm so sorry! And this is the new car? What a bummer.

Yep. This was the new car. 43 days old. Haven't even made it to the first oil change yet.