Dealing with a spouse who isn't into Disney....

Juliet0778

Mouseketeer
Joined
Apr 24, 2017
So, I love Disney World...always have. I'm not quite as hard core as many here, but I've been 5 times throughout my life and we're going again in June. Now, to his credit, my husband grudgingly agreed to go again when we were just there two years ago. Our son is 6 and vacations that would entertain my husband are boring for my son (who also has a blast at Disney.) So, he's going for us, but if I try to bring up something I'm excited about, he's such a killjoy and it bums me out. Any ideas on how to get a non Disney spouse more excited?
 
There was a really good thread about this. Hopefully someone will post a link.

You can't really do anything. Just don't push it, don't take it personally, and plan so well it feels like magic. What does your husband enjoy?

I think 6 year olds are pretty easy to entertain, though, and it would be easier to take the kid on a different vacation that your husband would enjoy than to get your husband to enjoy the Disney trip. I enjoy Disney now but in general am not a theme park fan. Some people just aren't.
 
I'd recommend talking to him about how his attitude is putting a damper on the upcoming vacation for you. Maybe offer him a compromise (like doing something that he wants to do over a long weekend if that is an option and/or that he can plan next years vacation, etc.). Another option may be to let him stay home and take someone from your family or a close friend that is into Disney and would be interested in the trip and do something else as a family that he is into (this is the exact compromise that my non Disney loving DH and I have; it works out better because he really is not into Disney and well, I love all things Disney). Whatever compromise works for your family after it is agreed to then I'd politely explain to him that his attitude has been impacting your enjoyment of planning for the trip, which is all part of the Disney excitement; and request that he try to keep that in mind. In the end you can't make him excited about the trip but you can request that he not be a complete "killjoy" about it.

Oh, the other way I address DH's non love of Disney and posting here; so I can be among like minded people (and DH has his civil war reenacting forums and I don't get excited about some obscure research that shows that some battle was fought on a slightly different part of a hill, etc. so really it's all good, we don't have to love the same things to love each other and some separate interests / activities are good :) Good luck!
 
There's no real changing anything, at least no guarantee. Get your son excited instead. And just ask that your husband goes with the flow. Give him an outlet maybe too. Perhaps time on his own during vacation. What are his interests that may be boring to your son? History, golf, reading? Plan something in just for DH maybe.

My DH likes Disney, doesn't love it like I do. He got more excited this time when I upgraded to a one bedroom villa. And is excited to have a date night in epcot. Try researching if there's something in or around Disney that DH could relate to and fit that in for him.
 
I would not try to make him excited. My DH likes Disney but does not want the daily updates that I love to share. It's okay. To be honest, none of my family wants to hear the number of updates and news I want to share, and I think that means I am the "issue".

I would discuss the planning here, and keep the discussion with DH to what he can stand. There are a lot of spouses who would refuse to go again, so I would consider this DH compromise.
 
My DH has never been to Disney but we have a trip for August. I've been planning it since last August and he totally doesn't understand my enthusiasm. I'm totally okay with planning everything and told him I'm not expecting him to be as excited as I am, but when I do share something neat that I've learned or planned, I do want him to at least listen to me. I'm hoping it might be better with him when we finally tell the kids on Friday, but we will see. I have told DH that he is free to go back to the hotel alone if he's had too much of the parks and we will return when we are done. This actually relieved his stress a good bit (he gets stressed out easily in crowds). I also figured out that Raglan Road in Disney Springs sells his favorite Irish beer (Kilkenny) that is almost impossible to find. I plan on taking him there and surprising him with it on our first night to try to set a positive tone on the trip.

So my recommendations are to not expect him to be excited, but let him know that it's important for you to still share your planning excitement with him. Try to find something he would be interested in on your trip (something he enjoyed before or a new experience/ restaurant/ drink, etc). And maybe consider giving him time alone on the trip to do what he wants for just a little while. He might get done with his alone time completely refreshed (and appreciative that you considered his wants) and ready to enjoy the rest of the trip.
 


So, I love Disney World...always have. I'm not quite as hard core as many here, but I've been 5 times throughout my life and we're going again in June. Now, to his credit, my husband grudgingly agreed to go again when we were just there two years ago. Our son is 6 and vacations that would entertain my husband are boring for my son (who also has a blast at Disney.) So, he's going for us, but if I try to bring up something I'm excited about, he's such a killjoy and it bums me out. Any ideas on how to get a non Disney spouse more excited?
I do mom & son only trips to WDW now, precisely for this reason. Works for us.
 
Just want to say good luck and I hope you all enjoy your trip. It's definitely hard when a family member is not into Disney.
 
What worked for me was to finally give up and go alone. Well, actually, it wasn't finally because I tried out lots of new things, and DH was excited to go back and try things, mostly restaurants, where I'd gone. For a long time, we'd still alternate-I'd go solo one trip, the next trip we'd go together, then back to solo, etc. But now virtually all our trips are together.
 
Find a new husband?? :rolleyes1

In all seriousness, I would compromise and go on one vacation he wants for every Disney vacation you do.

You should tell him that it bothers you when he rains on your parade though. Everyone should get to be excited about their vacation!!

We pretty much do. We did an outdoorsy vacation last year per his request, and I promised I won't push for Disney again until after Star Wars land opens. :)

There's no real changing anything, at least no guarantee. Get your son excited instead. And just ask that your husband goes with the flow. Give him an outlet maybe too. Perhaps time on his own during vacation. What are his interests that may be boring to your son? History, golf, reading? Plan something in just for DH maybe.

My DH likes Disney, doesn't love it like I do. He got more excited this time when I upgraded to a one bedroom villa. And is excited to have a date night in epcot. Try researching if there's something in or around Disney that DH could relate to and fit that in for him.

We upgraded to deluxe this time per his request and as he loves eating out, I made sure to have dinners he'll find interesting. Luckily, the little guy is also a foodie, so it works well. So I am definitely working on it. He generally has a decent time once we're there, but he's an anxious flyer and he also would rathet spend money on home improvements than vacations, so that plays into it too. He really does do it for me and our son, so I should definitely be thankful for that!

I would not try to make him excited. My DH likes Disney but does not want the daily updates that I love to share. It's okay. To be honest, none of my family wants to hear the number of updates and news I want to share, and I think that means I am the "issue".

I would discuss the planning here, and keep the discussion with DH to what he can stand. There are a lot of spouses who would refuse to go again, so I would consider this DH compromise.

Good point. I can also share stuff with my son because he likes it all too. :)
 
There is some good advice on this thread. I'm in the same boat. My DH would not want us going without him, because he likes us to do things together as a family. The few things I do: 1) I give him very little in terms of updates. I plan and get excited about every detail, but only share with him periodically 2) ask him if there are things he wants for to trip and then try to accommodate them, even if they're not my fave (this generally includes some restaurants he likes, sometime it includes the resort). 3). I share enough of my plans with him for him to be on board with the plans for the trip (i.e. Summary plans by day-park-meals), so I can do the planing and not find out later he wants something different- I do this in a planned way- i.e. Sit down and give him a 20 minute status, so he doesn't have to listen to ten 2 minute status updates..
 
I do mom & son only trips to WDW now, precisely for this reason. Works for us.

I've done a few of these as well and may continue to do so. I have three boys and all of them are just as big of a Disney nut as I am. It's honestly the only place I even want to go to at this point (particularly with the kids). I love it and can't get enough. We used to go as a couple now and then before kids. Then we took my oldest at 2 1/2 and DH thought he was too young. So when we planned our first family trip with all three kids and my twins were 22 months, he griped and moaned the entire time. We hadn't had a vacation for 3 years at that point and I had a majorly rough time with the twins and all of their health problems and we skipped celebrating our 10th anniversary so I wanted to make it this big special thing. We stayed Deluxe CL, my sister came to help us with the kids, his mom came down for a few days too. And he was grumpy and negative about everything.

We went into it knowing we were returning one year later (bought APs to do it) and as we planned the next trip I had to tell him to keep his negative thoughts to himself because he was ruining the entire experience for the rest of us. He agrees to go and enjoys parts of it, but he's just not as into Disney. At the same time I've told him if he wants to plan something else he can do so, but he has no interest in planning a vacation either so Disney it is with or without him.

We take shorter family trips for now and then I've taken my boys one at a time for short trips as well. Our last family trip was just in December and my twins are begging me almost daily to plan another trip soon.

I did try gearing things more towards him on trips but it helps slightly while we are there but doesn't increase his excitement at all. For example, I order his favorite beer to have in the room, I plan more down time. No more parks on arrival or departure day because I know he hates that. I plan for meals I know he will really enjoy. Skip a few things he doesn't like. So you could try things like that. If he likes golf or fishing plan work that into your plans for him maybe? But in the end, you can't really make someone a Disney person. They pretty much are or aren't.
 
So, I love Disney World...always have. I'm not quite as hard core as many here, but I've been 5 times throughout my life and we're going again in June. Now, to his credit, my husband grudgingly agreed to go again when we were just there two years ago. Our son is 6 and vacations that would entertain my husband are boring for my son (who also has a blast at Disney.) So, he's going for us, but if I try to bring up something I'm excited about, he's such a killjoy and it bums me out. Any ideas on how to get a non Disney spouse more excited?

Go without him. Not saying it's ideal, but it's what worked for us.
 
Everyone has to deal with it in the best manner that works for their family dynamics. I know that's a very broad answer, but it's true. I would never consider going on a trip without DW...even if it's a place I badly want to go, but she refuses...and vice versa. It just wouldn't be fun, and I'd be thinking of her the entire time. For us, family vacations are just that...our entire family. Doesn't mean I think those who go without their spouse are wrong. I don't. But I wouldn't dream of it for myself...well, sometimes I dream of it, but wouldn't do it. :tongue: Only you can decide if you're OK with it.

My recommendation would be to not try to "force" excitement about WDW. Generate excitement about going on vacation as a family. Doesn't matter where, it's family time together. I love having time away from our daily routine.
 
I never post, but this is exactly what I'm dealing with too. My DH of 8 years has never been to any Disney park and has his preconceived notions of how it will be, so he's avoided going at all costs for our first 10 years together. I took our toddler with grandparents last year, without DH who protested that our 16 month old was too young (yeah maybe) but we had a blast and grandparents paid for the trip, so no way I'm turning that down! Now, DH has finally decided he's willing to go (without the toddler) since I got a great deal on free dining and it's in December with cooler weather, so the pressure is on for me to plan the perfect trip to impress him. My plan to thwart his cynicism is to plan the trip completely around his likes and take it at a very relaxed pace since commando touring would freak him out. Hopefully, he'll be hit with a cloud of pixie dust and will want to come again, so there will be time to see things we missed on future trips. I just want him to have the best time ever on his first trip since my future trips are somewhat at stake. :goodvibes
 
My husband is not into Disney, but when he went with me in 2015 he says it was OK. I am good with him saying it was just OK (he didn't say he hated it). I think the part of the trip my husband really enjoyed was seeing how much our son loved it! I have made him a deal, I get to go to Disney every other year and on my off years he gets to go on a hunting trip. He got lucky this year because we had a baby, I knew he would not enjoy going with a baby so I didn't plan a trip. Since my year was skipped, I already have a trip booked for April 2018!!

I don't think there is a way to make a non-Disney fan excited about the trip. The goal is to try and have them enjoy the trip as much as possible while they are there. Try and be very strategic with your FastPass selections so they don't have to wait in line too long. Try and pick dining selections you know they will enjoy. Also, don't go to crazy with the schedule. Make sure there is plenty of downtime for him to relax and just enjoy being with the family.
 
When we lived in San Diego, my husband more than paid his dues in Disneyland visits. He was a real trooper, too, when Disney World opened. For the last ten years, however--and after the final visit when he kept saying "Ok, what's next?" or "Wait, you want to go back to a ride you already rode?"--I go to Orlando with my sister, and now with friends in October.

If whoever accompanies someone doesn't buy into a Disney trip, it's torture for all. Thankfully, my husband is thrilled that I have people to go with so he doesn't have to, and he loves to hear about my plans. This wouldn't work for everyone, but it's been wonderful for us.

As others here have said, you can take someone to Disney, but you can't make them have a magical day.
 
I'm definitely in an unusual situation. Seems most of the posters here (and in other similar threads I've read) have DH who don't like WDW. Well, in this case I am the DH and I love WDW. Thankfully DW really likes it too. Not sure I'd use the term "love", as given her choice she'd probably rather spend a week in the Bahamas, but she genuinely enjoys WDW for sure. I'm the one more enthused though.
 
I think the best way to sell Disney to someone who "isn't into it," especially if they are an adult, is the service that Disney provides. It really is second to none in comprehensiveness, and basic stays at Disney resemble concierge service at other resorts.

My fiance isn't crazy into the characters, or rides... but he does love a good meal and a relaxing stay. Disney provides this in spades.
 

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