Dealing W/ Middle School Re: WDW Trip

[momof1princess]

i apologize if this gets long, but there is a point...my DD10 will be in 5th grade this fall, which means a move over to the middle school. we've NEVER had a problem getting our wdw trips approved by the elem. principal, but i hear middle school is a MUCH tougher nut to crack. this year, the elem. principal made us use 1 parental note in order to excuse our wdw trip, but that's fine, DD is an A&B student who rarely misses a day and she's never had a problem making up work. a friend of mine w/ a child in 5th grade this year told me her son was taking finals the week before christmas, which is the week we want to go in 2009 (DH has his heart SET on it). my question is (finally, lol) has anyone experienced resistance on the part of your child's middle school in excusing absences for a vacation during a finals week? DD would have no problem taking them early, but i would imagine the teachers wouldn't want to give them early. what should i do? break the bad news to DH, or go ahead and plan the trip and see what happens?

i'm torn, b/c it would be SO much easier to go during spring break-no hassles w/ teachers, warm weather, etc. but my DH works so hard so i don't have to and enjoys our disney trips so much that i really want to make this happen for him. anyone have any experiences, suggestions? TIA!

 

[stacy6552]

Just do the best you can. Inform the teachers that your child will be out a few weeks in advance and ask for any assignments that should be turned in before leaving. We planned a trip our son's first year in MS. We were leaving Friday after school and returning Tuesday night, so he would only miss 2 days. Well the Friday was a snow day and so were the following Wed-Friday. What are ya gonne do?

 

[daisyduck123]

Hi! Teacher here....I would just let the teachers know about 2 weeks early, that she'll be out that week. Try not to worry about it too much. Believe me...your DD will not be the only one missing school that week. (In my county, Christmas break won't begin until Christmas Eve...it's ridiculous! Half the school will be out before that )

 

[momof1princess]

Hi! Teacher here....I would just let the teachers know about 2 weeks early, that she'll be out that week. Try not to worry about it too much. Believe me...your DD will not be the only one missing school that week. (In my county, Christmas break won't begin until Christmas Eve...it's ridiculous! Half the school will be out before that )

wowwwww, christmas eve? that's really cutting it close! as a teacher, that must make the holidays EXTRA stressful for you! i want spring break b/c it's less hassle for me, but DH wants the week before christmas so we can see all the decorations and attend mvmcp (i secretly wanna go then too, lol, but i'm more practical). i'm guessing he'll get his way, as usual, lol. ty for responding!

 

[HeatherC]

I may be the lone dissenter, but I say just go and deal with it when you get back. I know that sounds crazy, but with my 3 kids I have found that if I mention things ahead of time, the work is totally piled on before, during and after the trip.

This year they missed 3 days of school for a cruise right before Feb. break started (we left early) and not one teacher sent home missed work or complained that they were out. I think that was because I didn't tell them. We just left and figured we'd deal with the work when we returned. When I talked to the teachers at conference time, they said they are kind of required to send stuff home when it is requested. But since all 3 of my kids do very well in school, no one thought it was a big deal.

My dd is also in 5th grade middle school to let you just know for comparison purposes.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[ldo]

Not to throw cold water on your trip--but we have a very strict school district. Some schools are more strict than others--I would not assume "it will be OK," esp. if the school has testing that week. At our school, they get zeros for family trips--weddings included! The only thing we were allowed to do was turn in an assignment early that was due the Monday after Easter. Teachers are not allowed to give tests early, etc. Elaine

 

[mylilnikita]

You need to find out what your district says.
My DD9 school district has that vacations aren't excused. If a child get more than 5 unexcused abscences the authorities get involved, court etc. I take DD out every year in between right after Thanksgiving break to 2 weeks before Christmas (for WDW and DCL) the decorations are all ready up right after Thanksgiving and last year in October( to Oahu). I do write a letter to the principal and teachers a couple weeks ahead of time to let them know. The principal then writes a letter back which has the district info on more than 5 unexcused, but she gives 5 days special circumstance exemption which protects us both.

 

[sk!mom]

I'm a teacher and the mom of a 6th grade DD. I have to say that middle school has been very different from Elementary in our experience. DD loves it but the work load is huge compared to Elementary. She had 5 long term projects last six weeks alone. Those were all in addition to regular homework. My DD is in PreAp courses and that may make a difference.

That being said, I would never take her out of school during finals or for more than a day or two for a long weekend trip. I would consider my DD and how much less relaxing her vacation would be if she was saddled with a big workload or worried about the work when she returned. My DD is a very dedicated student who would worry about falling behind.

I would rather plan a trip when everyone could relax with no homework to be done. Go during Christmas break.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I have to agree with the above poster. Middle School is a completely different animal. They move at a quicker pace. The workload is much heavier. You will probably also encounter different policies from different teachers. Some may be happy to give work early or give make-up work after the trip. Others might say no and just give a zero. In our middle school, the teachers have 35 kids per class and are too busy to even focus on the everyday requirements. I wouldn't expect them all to accommodate a Disney trip, especially during finals.

I think your best bet would be to call the middle school now and ask about their policy. Just ask it as a hypothetical. If they're not flexible about family trips, it might be best to change your plans.

 

[PlutoPony]

Agree with PP's that middle school can be much different. I would check now to see if there is a policy on excusing absences and go from there. They may be fine with it, but if they're not we've found there are very very few students who can get a 0 on a test (let alone a final) and still get a decent grade for the class or grading period. Asking the question hypothetically (and anonymously) is a good idea - if they're touchy on this subject you don't want their first contact with your family to be about taking a student out of school during finals, believe me .

 

[katybugsmom]

My husband is a middle school assistant principal and in our district they do frown on absences during exams. You really need to check out your district's policies. I can't imagine any district absolutely refusing to work with you if you let them know in advance, but you need to check just to make sure. As a teacher myself I really appreciate being told in advance if a student is going to be absent. I would never give extra work, but I've always found parents want to help their children complete the work before they leave and then it's not hanging like a "death sentence" for a student when he returns. I am a parent myself(DD9 and DS3). So many of my children never leave our small town, much less explore the US or the world like we are fortunate to do. I think a trip to WDW or anywhere appropriate is just as valuable and important as the work they complete in school. We are taking a trip with our 4 year olds to the beach on Tuesday. We live an hour away from the beach and out of 90 4K students at least half have never seen the Atlantic Ocean!!!!!! We are going to the aquarium and eating in the restaurant there, stopping by Ben and Jerry's for free ice cream(It's their annual free ice cream day! We lucked up! ) and then it's off to walk on a pier and play on the beach in the sand(everyone will have their own bucket and shovel!!!!!) All children need these background experiences in order to make the connections they need to in the classroom. It's very hard to teach a 4 year old about wild animals if they have never seen any up close and personal(nearest zoo is only 1 1/2 hours away-our numbers go up to about 85% who have never been there!!!)

So sorry!!! Didn't mean to birdwalk like that! Bottom line: check on the policies and let the teachers know in advance!!!!

 

[princessmom29]

I am a high school teacher and i know that our policy and the middle school policy is the same in our district. A student is NOT excused from exams without doctor or court documentation. Our exams are a system wide CRT ( all students take the same test district wide) and if a student is absent mon- thurs of exam week they must show up teacher work day which is friday of exam week to take the test or recieve a zero. MIddle school really is a different situation, and you need to be exactly clear on what the policy is BEFORE the trip. I was forced to give 4 zero's on semester exams this year b/c students did not get prior approval to be absent and our exams are 20% of the semester grade.

 

[Aliceacc]

In my school, an illegal absence during exams means a 0 on the exam. (And coming back with a tan pretty much kills the whole "lie about being sick" idea)You most definitely want to check before making plans.

edited to add: And our trimester exams are worth 33% of the grade.

 

[momof1princess]

thank you all so much for your responses and experiences! this "zero tolerance" type of absence policy is exactly what i'm afraid i'm about to encounter. i'm hoping to have a chance to speak w/ DD's middle school principal about their policy regarding absences on move-up day, but there'll be so many parents there, it's unlikely i'll get to meet her one-on-one. DH is very much a "go with the flow" kinda guy, and i'm a compulsive planner, so his wait-and-see attitude is makin' me a little nuts, lol.

 

[nemomama]

Our middle school would never excuse an absence for the purpose of vacation during finals week. And teachers are not allowed to give finals early. Is there any reason why your DH is so set on travelling that particular week? Surely if he knows your DD will have exams he will agree to travel another week? I say break the bad news to him and have fun planning for another week! Best of luck.

 

[Merriwind]

Our middle school would never excuse an absence for the purpose of vacation during finals week. And teachers are not allowed to give finals early. Is there any reason why your DH is so set on travelling that particular week? Surely if he knows your DD will have exams he will agree to travel another week? I say break the bad news to him and have fun planning for another week! Best of luck.

I agree. I think that the fact that it is Finals Week is going to be a much bigger issue than what grade your DD is in. I can't see teachers excusing missing that week for vacation. Maybe one of the other weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas?

 

[HeatherC]

I totally agree with what everyone has said....on one hand. As you will see from my earlier post, I've found that while our district doesn't excuse the absences, is has not been a big deal to miss a couple days if the issue isn't brought up ahead of time.

When it is mentioned ahead of time....watch out. Depending on the district, you will have teachers, principals, superintendents screaming policy. Crazy really.

I guess I'm just blabbing because in my opinion....yes middle school is different than elementary school. But for me to keep things in perspective in my own life, I have to remind myself that it is middle school. This is not finals for a PHD dissertation. In the realm of life, one week will not kill a kid if they miss some school. Yes...it can be hard to make up the work if the teacher assigns a lot. And if a child is struggling already, I personally wouldn't add that pressure on to a kid. But to me, I truly would rather have the memories of that week for a lifetime... if the child is doing well overall and not stressed over missing a few days. Everyone in the family will forget about that week at school I guarantee.

Please don't all start yelling at me. I do know we need to teach our kids responsiblity and such. But I also think that people can sometimes get blinded by these things and would never dream of going against a rule. I guess my thinking is that if you can go another week without any complications, then by all means do that. But for a family that may not get another opportunity due to whatever reasons....ie...someone home from the armed forces, a terminal illness, or whatever, missing a few finals really isn't life ending.

I'm sure whatever you decide will work out wonderfully and that you will have an awesome trip!!

Good luck to you!

 

[kimgof]

My DS13 will be in 8th grad when we go next year. I also have a DS who will be in 2nd and a DD in Kindergarten. They will miss one week in late September so we can go. My DS13 is a straight A student and rarely misses school because of illness. I don't feel missing one week of middle school is going to anything to his school career. He understands responsibility and knows he will have to make up any missed work. He also knows that time with your family is precious. Although school is a priority high on the list , family and the memories you make with them are higher. And by the way, I used teach, I would never be angry with a parent for taking their kids out for traveling. I know some school systems are stricter than others, I kind of think that's sad. Do you remember your favorite trip with your family or what you learned one week in the 8th grade?

 

[Darcy03231]

Our school policy is really strict too. Unless you have a doctor's note or court order, if you don't take your finals you get a zero, no exceptions. Finals in middle school are 20% of the total grade and finals in high school are a third of the grade. There is no way I would take any of my kids out of school during a finals week. Added to that both our middle and high schools are on block scheduling so missing a week is like missing two weeks. Just not worth it for us.

 

[momof3girls6712]

My daughter started 6th grade this year. We were worried about vacations now that she is in middle school. I work more during the summer so vacations have to be during the school year. In Jan, we took a week off and went to Disney. I sent a detailed letter to each of her teachers and the principal stating what educational experiences she would be exposed to for the week. The teachers and principal were very helpful and provided her work in advance as well as making her absences excused. We will be taking her out for another week in 13 days (yippie). I sent in a note again and everything is all set. I will mention my daughter's grade point average did fall after our first trip (from a 4.0 to a 3.8) so you do need to decide if your child can afford a drop in grades. It was worth it for us. We have never had a problem with the school system. But then again on Friday the entire 6th grade is going to Epcot for an educational field trip and then next Friday the honor students are headed to wild adventures in Georgia (the school is even paying for this trip) so we must have a protheme parks school system.