I need this baby to be born. I am 39 weeks pregnant and have 0 tolerance. I misdirected my anger at DD14 when I should have directed it at her grandparents. They think they are her parents and have to be in the middle of everything. DD14 came home from her dad's two weeks ago Sunday and had surgery the next Tuesday and because I was still working, she stayed with then (which I appreciated!) and I would go over to see her. She stayed until the following Wednesday night, was home Thursday and Friday then her nana called to see if she could pick her up on Saturday and sleep over. I said she could. My problem is that when she goes over there, they seem to think it's open ended and she'll be home when she feels like it. All I ask is that I know when she will be home. So I was expecting her home on Sunday. She called Sunday afternoon and asked if it was ok to go to the mall with her friends that live next door to them. I said yes. I am sick with a bad cold so I laid down around 6 and woke up about 9. My sister was over and told me the dd had called around 8:30 and when she found out I was sleeping she said she was staying over another night. I called her back and told her she had spent enough time over there and the plan was she was supposed to come home that night. I told her DH would go get her. I also told her how it bothered me that everytime she went over there it was such drama to have her come back home and that she needed to understand that this was her home and she was the first to say something when she missed a family activity. Anyway, her nana is in the background asking what the problem is. DD tells her that I want her to come home. She gets on the phone and says with an attitude she will bring her. I said no need, Dh is getting ready to leave. She says well he will just be wasting his time because we are leaving now and hangs up! Then her grandfather calls me and says why can't she just stay until the morning. I said because I want her to come home tonight. This happens all the time and I want her to understand we already had the conversation that can't happen anymore. (I NEVER give her a hard time about going over there. I totally understand the way they spoil her that she enjoys being over there but enough is enough!) He gets an attitude with me and finally I say "I am trying to get her to understand she needs to respect me as her mother" and he says "I need to respect her as my daughter." and hangs up. What the........? So I call back and when the phone picks up, I flip out and say just keep her, bring her back when YOU feel like it. I am so sick of this crap. I said a couple of other things and then I said you raise her then!!" Then DD says "mommy, it's me." I felt soooo small. I was so po'ed at her grandparents but she got the brunt of my anger. I told her I needed to cool off and I would talk to her the next morning. Her nana called the next day and asked if she could home and that we all needed to sit and talk because I shouldn't be getting stressed. I have had it though. Last night, DH and I and all 3 dd's went for a walk for ice cream and I had a talk with DD14 and let her know I wasn't upset with her and then expained to her that while i understood her wanting to spend time with her grandparents , she needed to understand she was a part of our family and when she wasn't around she missed out on family bonding time such as we were doing by just taking a walk.
I am aggravated because I am so happy that DD14 and I are off to fresh start since she came back and her meddling grandparents pull this. She is the DD they never had but she is not their daughter and if I am not neglecting, abusing or mistreating her, let me do my job!!!
BTW, her nana just called to ask if she could take her to the outlet in the morning to get her a couple of more outfits and possibly another pair of sneakers for school. This is because she heard a conversation between DD and I that she had enough to get her started and I couldn't afford to get her anything else because I am out on maternity leave and need to save money. She didn't take this too well. So, nana to the rescue............she is buying her the converses she just has to have! This is after she just got the $70 Nikes she just had to have. I want to move far away right now!
I am aggravated because I am so happy that DD14 and I are off to fresh start since she came back and her meddling grandparents pull this. She is the DD they never had but she is not their daughter and if I am not neglecting, abusing or mistreating her, let me do my job!!!
BTW, her nana just called to ask if she could take her to the outlet in the morning to get her a couple of more outfits and possibly another pair of sneakers for school. This is because she heard a conversation between DD and I that she had enough to get her started and I couldn't afford to get her anything else because I am out on maternity leave and need to save money. She didn't take this too well. So, nana to the rescue............she is buying her the converses she just has to have! This is after she just got the $70 Nikes she just had to have. I want to move far away right now!
