DD "taking a break" from violin

[leafette]

My DD(8 tomorrow) has been taking violin since age 4 in a Suzuki method program. Around Christmas, she asked if she could take a break, which we agreed to since she had lots of Nutcracker ballet rehearsals, and then we went to WDW in early Jan.

Well, yesterday, she told me she doesn't really want to go back anytime soon. This breaks my heart. She certainly wasn't the "best" in her group, but she was doing pretty well, and I really would like her to learn an instrument. On the other hand, I don't want to force her to do it and know that she'll end up hating it if I do (I had a close friend in high school who was forced to take piano for years and hated it).

Any advice on how to encourage her to pick it back up? I've also suggested guitar, but I think she may just be tired of all of the daily practice that comes with playing any instrument.

 

[Evil Genius]

Is she in an orchestra or quartet or something? What type of music is she encouraged to play? If it's only classical, maybe pick her up some more modern music and see if that catches her interest back. I played cello for years and it really is some of my happiest memories. I hated playing alone, but truly loved being part of a musical group.

Good luck.

 

[leafette]

Is she in an orchestra or quartet or something? What type of music is she encouraged to play? If it's only classical, maybe pick her up some more modern music and see if that catches her interest back. I played cello for years and it really is some of my happiest memories. I hated playing alone, but truly loved being part of a musical group.

Good luck.

With Suzuki, they have group lessons in addition to their private lesson. And her teacher was doing a good job of mixing up the classical with Celtic and bluegrass music. I think it might just be the practicing that she hates.

 

[Evil Genius]

Yeah, the practicing is the worst. It's a tough discipline. Possibly you can work a schedule with her that you could both live with. Maybe practice 2-3 days a week for a few weeks and then add a day for a few weeks, etc.

I wish I knew how to make it easier for her.

 

[Hannathy]

Why not wait until all the kids in school will be starting instruments in school, here that is in 4th grade. Then she will be with everyone else and then in 5th grade they start a school orchestra, again our school district. She will then get to play with her friends and if she is ahead of them the teacher will give her a solo or enrichment. I also never insisted on daily practice. a few times a week yes, daily no. mine was too busy with other school work and I knew she was not going to be a virtuso either. We also backed off it over the summer. When they got to Middle school their orchestra director said she wanted them to practice the songs so many times and she didn't care if they achieved it by doing it twice a day or if they practiced it 20 times on the weekend (which is what my DD did) as long as they learned the song. My DD still loves the violin and is in high school and I think because it was never made a chore and daily grind. She is in the first violins and could be much better but it is not a priority to her and she is happy and plans to keep playing all thru high school.

 

[I Love Pluto]

If she doesn't like the violin, then let her stop playing it.

I would, however, make sure that nothing else is wrong - her teacher, the other students, a remark made to her, etc. If all checks out OK, then let her be the decision maker.

 

[laurie31]

My DD is also 8 and has also played violin since she was 4. She begged to take violin at the beginning and loved it for almost 3 years. The last year - not so much. She is also tired of the practicing. We sat down and had a long talk with her teacher. She felt that it would be worth it to let her take a year off, or even longer, rather than make her practice when she hated it.

So...I asked DD what instrument she'd rather play and she asked to play piano. She started piano lessons and LOVES it. Also, since she can already read music, she's progressing much faster than a true beginner with no musical background. This has given her much satisfaction.

Her teacher feels that one day she will want to play violin again and when she does, she will be able to pick it back up. She has been on her "break" for several months now, and she has started to practice her violin again on her own! She doesn't want to start back with lessons yet, but I'm encouraged that she's playing So just because you let her stop doesn't mean she'll turn her back on it forever, and the years of playing that she'd had will serve her well, even if she DOES decide not to keep on playing. She's still young enough to not know exactly what her interests are and so we're letting her explore

Good luck

 

[minkydog]

Why not wait until all the kids in school will be starting instruments in school, here that is in 4th grade. Then she will be with everyone else and then in 5th grade they start a school orchestra, again our school district. She will then get to play with her friends and if she is ahead of them the teacher will give her a solo or enrichment. I also never insisted on daily practice. a few times a week yes, daily no. mine was too busy with other school work and I knew she was not going to be a virtuso either. We also backed off it over the summer. When they got to Middle school their orchestra director said she wanted them to practice the songs so many times and she didn't care if they achieved it by doing it twice a day or if they practiced it 20 times on the weekend (which is what my DD did) as long as they learned the song. My DD still loves the violin and is in high school and I think because it was never made a chore and daily grind. She is in the first violins and could be much better but it is not a priority to her and she is happy and plans to keep playing all thru high school.

I agree with you. My DD13 started on violin at age 7 and it quickly became a chore. She switched to piano and even after 2yrs of practice she didn't make good progress. She really hated practice! However, when she entered middle school she showed interest in band and now plays the oboe, one of the hardest(if not THE hardest!) woodwind instruments. She loves her oboe and she loves playing in the band. She still hates to practice, but she plays enough at school to sit first chair so her director is happy.

Incidentally, my DS20 did the same thing--started on trumpet, switched to piano, then eventually to guitar. He's a great guitar player (due to his prior piano work!) and writes music for piano and guitar. I can't keep him off the piano now, but when he was 8

 

[golfgal]

That is one of the big drawbacks of starting kids so young on things. Let her do something else and maybe later she will want to start again. She has a good background and should be able to pick it up again later if she wants.

Quite honestly, starting a kid at 4 and starting them at 10 isn't going to make any difference by the time they are in high school if they practice the same amount. There is a physical/cognitive maturity that goes along with playing an instrument/sport, etc. that while a child playing at age 4 will be better to start, a child starting at 10 will soon catch up and equal or surpass that child.