DD can't choose an instrument and I'm going crazy!

[smkiya]

Tonight dd did two FREE introductory private music lessons at a studio that just opened nearby. DD will be 6 next month and she is in the 1st grade. She loves music, and received a kids acoustic guitar two years ago that she still strums here and there. I originally went in to sign DS up for the Mommy and Me music class and thought that dd would like to try music lessons (they offered a free trial).

The person signing her up stated that most kids start out taking piano, so I signed DD up for a free piano lesson. Then I mentioned how DD loves to play her guitar and she stated that if she is already showing an interest in a particular instrument to do that instead. So I signed her up for both to see how she did. Big mistake!

The lessons were tonight, back to back, piano first. The teacher was very nice and patient. The school is great. The lesson went very well and in the short 30 minutes they were together, DD learned a lot. Next was guitar. DD looked so natural holding the guitar and picked it up pretty quickly (really, the same could be said of the piano).

I can only afford for DD to choose one instrument. If we do piano, she will have to practice on a keyboard (can't afford a piano right now). If we do guitar, I will purchase the one recommended by the instructor (not too much). There is a recital on December 3rd.

After the lessons, I asked DD which one she wanted most and she couldn't decide. I asked her later and she still wasn't sure. Then later I asked if she'd made up her mind she said the piano. I asked her why, and she said because it was bigger. I truly think she may be better suited for the guitar. I prefer her to take the guitar lessons. Actually, I would rather her take guitar. I really like the guitar teacher and his experience. The fact that DD has shown an interest in her guitar for over 2 years is what sparked my interest in her having music lesson to begin with. I think that down the road if we invest in a used piano, she and I could learn to play the piano together. I'm just guessing, but I assume that it's better if there is a piano, rather than a keyboard at home to practice on (even though I know a keyboard wouldn't be terrible).

Well now DD is dead set on doing the piano. I asked if she would be agreeable to doing the guitar lesson for the fall (until the recital), and if she wanted to choose the piano in January instead, she could. She said ok. Was I wrong to offer this? I don't understand; she had no interest in the piano before and now... What do you think? Be honest, please!

 

[Caropooh]

I think she is 6 years old this is a decision that you, as her mother needs to make.

 

[Hannathy]

I think you shouldn't have asked her if you already knew what you wanted her to do.
I would let it go a few days and then ask her again. But If you really don't want her decision then you shouldn't give her the chance to choose. You have to decide if you want to give her a choice or if you are going to make the decision.

IMO kids do better on and practice more on an instrument that they want to play. She can't go wrong with piano! Playing on a keyboard is fine especially for a beginner.

would it be possible to pay for her to take another lesson on each one and then make up her mind? Just remember that 6 is young and she could totally change her mind in a few years when everyone at school is taking Strings lessons!

 

[Hannathy]

forgot to ask what does your DH think about it? maybe he could talk to her and then give you his impression on what she is thinking.

She may say more to him because she knows he isn't as invested or has a preference like you do so you may get a truer idea of her feelings not what she thinks you want to hear.

 

[smkiya]

I think you shouldn't have asked her if you already knew what you wanted her to do.
I would let it go a few days and then ask her again. But If you really don't want her decision then you shouldn't give her the chance to choose. You have to decide if you want to give her a choice or if you are going to make the decision.

IMO kids do better on and practice more on an instrument that they want to play. She can't go wrong with piano! Playing on a keyboard is fine especially for a beginner.

would it be possible to pay for her to take another lesson on each one and then make up her mind? Just remember that 6 is young and she could totally change her mind in a few years when everyone at school is taking Strings lessons!

I totally agree with you! But to be honest, until I actually sat in on the lessons I didn't know or care which she chose. That's why initially I asked her to choose. After some reflection, I think she looked much more natural holding and playing the guitar. After more reflection I realized that her interest in the guitar was why I decided on the music lessons to begin with. After even more reflection, I think her decision to choose the piano has more to do with the fact that her friend has a piano. So now I guess I'll have to make the guitar sound much more attractive to her, and allow her to take that.

If after December, she still wants to learn the piano, well then I'll cross that bridge then. For now, I think it will be guitar.

 

[smkiya]

forgot to ask what does your DH think about it? maybe he could talk to her and then give you his impression on what she is thinking.

She may say more to him because she knows he isn't as invested or has a preference like you do so you may get a truer idea of her feelings not what she thinks you want to hear.

He agrees that the guitar would be the best choice for her. I'll have him discuss it with her. She is daddy's girl after all....

 

[Hannathy]

That sounds good, tell her since she already has one she should stick with that for now. If like you say she is still asking about the piano change in january.

But seriously taking piano is also very good and if she sticks with music it can only help her.

As far as being Daddy's girl aren't they all? Mine at 18 can still be Daddy's girl! she did it the opposite, started on Piano, never seriously then moved to Violin in 5th and still plays that in college but wants someone to teach her guitar! was all excited during orientation because she met some one who said they would.

Have fun, just don't make it drudgery at that young age by forcing too much practice and turn her off before she gets going. Every kid is different and every kid has their comfort level as to how good they want to be. My Dd could have been a very good player but instead is just good because her heart was never fully into to it but she likes it and has played now for 8 yrs and enjoys it for fun. Now my DS is much more into it and will practice much more on his own because he wants to be better, He asked to start a year before the schools started them, so we will see if he lasts as long as her, he is in 6th gr.

 

[Tinijocaro]

A six year old can be easily swayed so if you really want her to play guitar, go on youtube, find some cute kids playing guitar and show her the videos. Don't pressure her, but she'll probably change her mind to guitar based on that alone. Kids change their minds like they change their underwear (hopefully).
Here's a cute one of a very talented little girl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njG_dQC-cnk

 

[golfgal]

I would have her start on the piano. What kids learn on the piano gives the foundation for every other instrument out there. Just because she strums on her guitar once in a while doesn't mean she "likes" it. If you had a keyboard she would probably play that too. You could also ask if they will let her do both, every other week. If they are a new studio chances are they will work with you on that.

 

[DMass]

I would have her start on the piano. What kids learn on the piano gives the foundation for every other instrument out there. Just because she strums on her guitar once in a while doesn't mean she "likes" it. If you had a keyboard she would probably play that too. You could also ask if they will let her do both, every other week. If they are a new studio chances are they will work with you on that.

Playing piano also helps build up the muscles in the fingers and hands. Get a keyboard with weighted keys if you don't have a real piano.

Playing the guitar is great but her fingers will be a little sore until she builds up some calluses.

 

[graygables]

I would have her start on the piano. What kids learn on the piano gives the foundation for every other instrument out there. Just because she strums on her guitar once in a while doesn't mean she "likes" it. If you had a keyboard she would probably play that too. You could also ask if they will let her do both, every other week. If they are a new studio chances are they will work with you on that.

I agree with this. I was forced to play the piano as a child (oh, the stories I could tell!), but it taught me how to read music on both staffs, harmony, etc. It is also great for visualizing things like octaves, sharps, flats, etc. as it's linear.

 

[mjkacmom]

I would have her start on the piano. What kids learn on the piano gives the foundation for every other instrument out there. Just because she strums on her guitar once in a while doesn't mean she "likes" it. If you had a keyboard she would probably play that too. You could also ask if they will let her do both, every other week. If they are a new studio chances are they will work with you on that.

I agree with this, as would DH, and he plays the guitar.

 

[smkiya]

I had her sleep on the idea of playing the guitar until December and then if she didn't want to do it after that we would move along to the piano. Santa may bring a keyboard if that is what she chooses.

Anyway, when she woke up, I didn't even mention the piano. DH and I searched for good deals on the guitar recommended by the teacher and we saw a bunch and the price was right. We also looked up resale value's in the event that it didn't work out, and that was also great. The guitar came in 2 colors, red and black. This morning I got her excited about the guitar by allowing her to choose the color. As we were walking to the bus stop she ran over to her friend and started jammering about how her lessons were great the night before and how she's getting a red guitar and it's coming tomorrow (Thanks to Free Amazon Prime membership... courtesy of Dis friends).

I will have her watch some youtube videos of kids playing to get her even more excited, like a pp suggested. She actually does a little bit more than strum, she makes up her own songs and tries to play other songs when she picks up her guitar, so I really want to foster that. I am not going to discourage her from playing the piano, if in the end that is what she wants to learn. I will even encourage her to learn it in the future, even if she continues on with the guitar.

 

[mrssmee]

I would choose piano, for the reasons others have listed. Also, coming from someone who has experience with both instruments, the guitar is easier to learn than the piano, in my opinion. Since younger children learn instruments so much faster/easier than adults or even older children (similar to how young children can learn a foreign language so much easier than adults), I would make sure she learned the piano now rather than when she is older.

I've known many adults who take piano lessons for the first time and never reach a point where they can play proficiently....but I've know adults who take guitar and become very good at it.

As for not having a piano yet, I would not worry about it. There are plenty of children who have to practice on a keyboard at home. Yes, it does have a different feel than a piano...but the important thing is that she learns how to play...she will adjust to the different feel. And as someone else mentioned, there are keyboards that simulate the feel of a piano....so you might want to look into one of those.

 

[smkiya]

I would choose piano, for the reasons others have listed. Also, coming from someone who has experience with both instruments, the guitar is easier to learn than the piano, in my opinion. Since younger children learn instruments so much faster/easier than adults or even older children (similar to how young children can learn a foreign language so much easier than adults), I would make sure she learned the piano now rather than when she is older.

I've known many adults who take piano lessons for the first time and never reach a point where they can play proficiently....but I've know adults who take guitar and become very good at it.

As for not having a piano yet, I would not worry about it. There are plenty of children who have to practice on a keyboard at home. Yes, it does have a different feel than a piano...but the important thing is that she learns how to play...she will adjust to the different feel. And as someone else mentioned, there are keyboards that simulate the feel of a piano....so you might want to look into one of those.

Interesting.

I'm terrible at making decisions. These are some really, really good arguments for the piano. *Sigh...

Good thing I didn't order it yet....

What if she were to learn both? Would that be overkill? I would be able to swing both, but not until the beginning of next year. So guitar for now, and then guitar and piano in January. Overwhelming?

 

[MushyMushy]

I would have her start on the piano. What kids learn on the piano gives the foundation for every other instrument out there. Just because she strums on her guitar once in a while doesn't mean she "likes" it. If you had a keyboard she would probably play that too. You could also ask if they will let her do both, every other week. If they are a new studio chances are they will work with you on that.

I agree. It wouldn't even be a question for me. If you believe for a second that she might turn out to be a serious musician, piano is the way to go. If she still enjoys strumming the guitar, you can always get her some video lessons for the basics for now.

 

[HeatherH]

Interesting.

I'm terrible at making decisions. These are some really, really good arguments for the piano. *Sigh...

Good thing I didn't order it yet....

What if she were to learn both? Would that be overkill? I would be able to swing both, but not until the beginning of next year. So guitar for now, and then guitar and piano in January. Overwhelming?

You've already got your daughter excited about the guitar, do NOT go back on that now!

And YES, she can take both, lots of kids learn more than one instrument.

I took piano and loved it, I WANTED to take it when I was five (babysitter had a piano) but didn't get a piano and lessons until I was 13. It didn't scar me for life that I had to wait.

If you're set on guitar for now, GO WITH IT and stop second guessing yourself. What matters is your daughter has a love for music, and that's WONDERFUL. She has her whole life to learn other instruments too.