Daycare - Help please!!

[cuucuu4karaoke]

my ds was 2-1/2 when we decided to put him in daycare 3 mornings a week for social interaction. He is an only child, and I am an only child and there were no other children for him to play with. We checked the place out and they told us to bring him in to see what he thought of the place. He loved it and threw a tantrum when we had to leave LOL Now at 3-1/2 he goes there half a day 3 days a week and head start the other half of those days so he's doing a full day of 'school' 3 days a week already! Whew!

 

[Nanu57v]

just so you know the staff in a day care center are just trained by the head teacher.

Just FYI--This isn't true everywhere... In PA, our staff (I'm a daycare administrator) is required to have 18 hours in annual training by a state certified trainer (i'm only certified in observation, and I had to attend a day of training plus additional classes online just to get that.) Moreover, our staff are required to have two years experience with children just to be allowed to be left alone with a child.

 

[Lisa_Belle]

To update my situation - I picked Sammi up at noon yesterday and she was crying - because they were making her lay down for a nap I know the adjustment will be hard on her because she is so catered to staying with my mom. But she wanted to go back today which made it much easier on me to take her. I was originally going to pick her up at 3pm today after her nap time but decided not to because after nap time they play outside for 30-45 minutes (depends on how hot it is) and that's the part she loved about yesterday. So I know nap time will be hard on her - but she will get used to it.

Anyway - Sammi's in daycare and so far so good. We'll see how today ends up.

Glad Sammi had a good time! About her nap situation, if the center (home or center) is state-certified, it is quite possible that the nap may be mandated. Here, it is a state law that kids in certified child-care programs are given nap time until they reach kindergarten. Not sure about Oklahoma. My DD - and some of her friends - are not nappers, so the teachers just give them "quiet time" and will sometimes let them flip through books. Ask Sammi's teacher about that possibility.

 

[tinker&belle]

Just FYI--This isn't true everywhere... In PA, our staff (I'm a daycare administrator) is required to have 18 hours in annual training by a state certified trainer (i'm only certified in observation, and I had to attend a day of training plus additional classes online just to get that.) Moreover, our staff are required to have two years experience with children just to be allowed to be left alone with a child.

That's not true here either...

NAEYC (The National Association for the Education of Young Children) is beginning to require more training and Education for all staff at centers...you should ask if a center is accredited by this or another organization when you are looking at centers. I think home based care can be accredited through other organizations, but that is out of my area of expertise.

 

[WDWorBUST]

Well just to update everyone Sammi is most likely done with daycare. I know it was only 4 days but in that 4 days she was bit by a child (I know it's going to happen), fell on the sidewalk and bruised her little ear, and woke up Monday morning sick. She was running a fever last night too so no daycare today either. I think we have been able to work out a schedule with my dad taking some time off/ working at home, me working from home possibly, and my aunt filling in 1 day and 2 1/2 days with my mom and Sammi so she can help with both. I'll know for sure this evening if it's going to work out.

 

[AllyCatTapia]

"just so you know the staff in a day care center are just trained by the head teacher. I do NYS certified Day care in my home and I have gone for 30 hours of traning and back ground checks and I am a mom of 4. If I put my child in a "center they have to have the same traning as family"

ummm...ok so what- since your center has sub-par training, all centers do? I don't think so! For your info, my teachers go every year to the statewide Early Childhood conference which is sponsored by my states department of Education. All lead teachers have a bachelors degree in ECE and the head mistress has a masters in the same. The other teachers have experience or a CDA. Just trained by the head teacher? Huh? What kind of daycare do you run? Ugh.

And, I feel for the OP. I know that yeah I could have predicted that your daughter would get sick within the first couple weeks of a center. Should have mentioned that as a heads up. She is being exposed to all kinds of things that she hasn't yet been exposed to. This would probably happen on and off for a while until her immunity is built up, and then all of a sudden she'll be never sick! Its great!

You should have a heads up- if you keep her away from these kinds of places that can build up her immunity, she'll most likely go through it in Kindergarten when she gets in a class with 20 other kids frm all over your area.....hope she doens't fall behind...rather have her absent from childcare then real school!!! Just a heads up. If you put her in a different homecare than what she is accustomed to, the same thing will happen.

It's kind of like all the people who go to Fl who have nver been, drink their water that has different organisms in it then their homestate, and get sick. That's life. That happens. Once you are out of your own "biosphere" type place, it's bound to happen! BUT it helps build up your immunity and next time, or two times from now- itprobably won't happen!

Biting is normal behavior from about 2 until language is developed. Many centers give the child three times and your out policy anyway. Your daughter will probably go through her own biting frustrations soon.

I write all this because I know that high qulaity childcare is an excellent experience for children. Eventually your daughter should go through some kind of center-based preschool or etc (where she will go through all this stuff AGAIN- except maybe the biting) before Kindergarten.
Otherwise, she'll have to make these adjustments IN kindergarten, when she should be learning to read and manipulate numbers

 

[WDWorBUST]

I understand everything you're saying - and was expecting it. But the whole experience I think has been traumatic for her. Her nanny fell and was taken out by paramedics and then the next thing she knows she's stuck in a place she doesn't know with people she doesn't know. One thing I did tell DH was that we will make sure that my mom starts taking her for mothers day out, we are going to get her into gymnastics and then also look for other ways to introduce her into a group setting with "teachers". She went from never staying with anyone other than family to in 4 days being exposed to 5 or 6 teachers directly responsible for her - not to mention all the other teachers at the center. That would un-nerve me even! I think it was just too big of a change with absolutely no middle ground for the poor baby. I do also plan for her to go to pre-school the year before she starts kindergarten - which since her birthday isn't until 11/1 we have plenty of time for. I was actually hoping that she would have a good experience and she could continue part-time after mom was better - I just think it was too much too suddenly. We would have gotten through had we absolutely had to - but since we don't I'm not going to do that to her. We may try again on a part-time basis when my mom is better and it's not so sudden with so many changes at once.

 

[Lisa_Belle]

I wouldn't discount the whole daycare thing because this particular center wasn't the perfect fit for your child. Daycare is just like school - or a job for an adult - some are just better for a particular person than others. I don't think it really matters if it's a "traditional" daycare center or at-home. I would take this break to shop around and find the care that best fits the needs of your child. There are many daycares, home care and preschool programs that have part-time hours.

One of the posters has a valid point about illness. As long as your child is exposed to other children, she WILL get sick. And it does seem that the kids who were around other children are less sick in older grades. My darling has picked up more germs from gymnastics, church or dance (don't know how this happens since you don't touch anything in preschool dance class - not even the barre) than school or daycare.

I guess what I'm saying is, don't let one bad experience discourage you from childcare. Take time to find a fit for Sammi. Good, high-quality care (no matter what the form) is ALWAYS beneficial.

 

[Nanu57v]

WDWorBust--Just curious, are they making you pay for the next two weeks even though she won't be there? We require a two weeks notice for withdrawel and just curious if they do it elsewhere. Sorry she had a bad start, but it is all normal daycare behavior. You stick 10 toddlers together and there's gotta be a biter in there somewhere, and most likely they are required to be outside daily if its like here, so bumps and bruises are gonna happen. Fortunately my daughter (in our toddler room) hasn't gotten bitten, but she's had her fill of bumps and falls. She's also one of the most well-adjusted children I've observed. She's learned that she can trust people and that adults love and care for her--and that mommy and daddy will be back soon. Although I do wish I was able to stay home with her, I do see the benefits social interaction with teachers has given her. I'm glad you were able to work it out with family. As you may remember from one of my first posts, I do think this is the best environment (home, not center) for children under 3.

 

[Hannathy]

And around here a hefty application fee. I also had to pay for a month so if she only has to pay 2 weeks she's lucky. Here that would be a very expensive day or two ! wow. Rather than throw all that money away could she not go maybe 1 day a week, helping everyone out and getting her used to other people.

 

[noodleknitter]

I'm in Michigan. FUll time toddler rate is about 130/week in a center.

I highly reccommend a center and wouldn't even CONSIDER putting my child in a home. Centers have trained, certified lead teachers and administrators...home daycares are generally other moms. They are cheaper though, but...watch out- you get what you pay for.

Yeah...right... Most daycare centers have horrific turnover rates and underpaid aides, even if they can claim a degree somewhere in the facility. As if that Director with the Masters Degree has anything to do with a child's stay in the facility. She is only there to bring in people and money...oh yes...and to sign documents.

I'd pick a good mom, with common sense, and experience actually rearing kids any day of the week. A well-paid care-giver...or a well-paid director and high school grads actually doing the kid coverage.

 

[WDWorBUST]

I did pay an enrollment fee - and I am paying this week and offered to pay next week. Like I told the center....I don't want this to be a bad thing for them because I really appreciated them working with me to begin with. The director told me not to pay next week that it was fine. I asked if she was sure because although it wasn't the right time for her now - I would consider their center again and didn't want any hard feelings and reiterated how much I did appreciate them. But no amount of money is worth my child being miserable. I am the one at fault for not exposing her to more people. I'm not going to make her pay for my mistake. Please don't think I was bashing daycare because I wasn't - and the home daycare center that I interviewed Saturday had a spot available for her. I just don't think she's ready and I fortunately was able to work out another solution. However - it has been a good experience for me to see how much she's sheltered (and how overprotective I really have been) and work towards getting her prepared for pre-school so she can be ready for school when that time comes. I don't even consider it a case of the daycare not being a good fit....I don't have a problem with them at all. There are good daycare center and bad daycare centers - at all of them children will fall down, children will get bit, and children will get sick - I expected those things. But if she's going to spend the first few weeks being sick where I can't send her anyway and I only need short term care how much sense does that make?? Oh and I would love for her to be able to go maybe one half day or two a week - but if I'm paying for a full week (they didn't have any part-time spots available)and then paying my aunt too I'm not coming out ahead.

 

[tinker&belle]

Yeah...right... Most daycare centers have horrific turnover rates and underpaid aides, even if they can claim a degree somewhere in the facility. As if that Director with the Masters Degree has anything to do with a child's stay in the facility. She is only there to bring in people and money...oh yes...and to sign documents.

I'd pick a good mom, with common sense, and experience actually rearing kids any day of the week. A well-paid care-giver...or a well-paid director and high school grads actually doing the kid coverage.

I don't think this is a fair statement. There ARE quality centers out there. Some centers have less educated teachers, but many centers have educated teachers (in my room my co-teacher and I both have bachelors degrees, her's is in Early Childhood Education, mine is in Elementary Education with a kindergarten endorsement and we are both taking master's classes in Early Childhood.) We have classroom aides that are college students (some undergraduate, some PhD or master's).

BTW this is at a University center, maybe you may want to check at one of these if there is a university in your area.

 

[nicolemomof4cuties]

Hi! I am so sorry that your daughter had such a bad time at daycare. It is very hard for a child to transition from being only around family to being around multiple caregivers that they do not really know. This is one of the reasons that I like being a home daycare provider. My husband and I are the only caregivers and we are always here. No other adults (other than parents) are allowed over during daycare hours because some children have trouble adjusting to strange adults. This helps the children to bond with us faster and they usually have an easier adjustment time. We also are only allowed 12 children at a time due to state guidelines so the children always have individualized care. I think that your idea about slowly easing her into daycare was GREAT! Sometimes children that have only been around family need that adjustment time- most parents do not think of that. It is awesome that you did. Putting her into gymnastics was also another good idea for helping her to adjust to other caregivers. I wish you luck and hope that your mother feels better soon!
Nicole
Wife to Reuben
Mom to
Keitaaron 7
Xeyana 5
Chloe 4
Cloin 2

 

[noodleknitter]

I don't think this is a fair statement. There ARE quality centers out there. Some centers have less educated teachers, but many centers have educated teachers (in my room my co-teacher and I both have bachelors degrees, her's is in Early Childhood Education, mine is in Elementary Education with a kindergarten endorsement and we are both taking master's classes in Early Childhood.) We have classroom aides that are college students (some undergraduate, some PhD or master's).

BTW this is at a University center, maybe you may want to check at one of these if there is a university in your area.

There are some quality daycare institutions, but the head of each of them that I've been involved in state that a child is still better off in a situation where there is not such a high turnover rate. Especially in a college situation. School breaks, transfers etc., all cause damage to children. Education does not equal a good care-giver, and many times = no common sense whatsoever.

I apologize to those who work hard at doing the best possible in this situation, but the poster I quoted had some rather rude remarks, that I believe I needed to address.

 

[tinker&belle]

There are some quality daycare institutions, but the head of each of them that I've been involved in state that a child is still better off in a situation where there is not such a high turnover rate. Especially in a college situation. School breaks, transfers etc., all cause damage to children. Education does not equal a good care-giver, and many times = no common sense whatsoever.

I apologize to those who work hard at doing the best possible in this situation, but the poster I quoted had some rather rude remarks, that I believe I needed to address.

I agree with you that children need to have consistency in care. At my center it is true some aides may change and we say goodbye to them, but the two co-teachers are consistent (we haven't had a change in co-teachers in any classroom since I hired in two years ago).

But I know that some schools do have high turnover rate with teachers. Like the previous center I worked at where a teacher with a master's degree made $7 and hour. If you were her would you be looking for another position? Sure she loved the children she worked with, but of course she would be interested in something with better pay. IF teachers are paid a decent wage then they can focus on what their doing and feel valued, and not feel like if some other opportunity arose they would accept at the drop of a hat.

 

[noodleknitter]

I agree with you that children need to have consistency in care. At my center it is true some aides may change and we say goodbye to them, but the two co-teachers are consistent (we haven't had a change in co-teachers in any classroom since I hired in two years ago).

But I know that some schools do have high turnover rate with teachers. Like the previous center I worked at where a teacher with a master's degree made $7 and hour. If you were her would you be looking for another position? Sure she loved the children she worked with, but of course she would be interested in something with better pay. IF teachers are paid a decent wage then they can focus on what their doing and feel valued, and not feel like if some other opportunity arose they would accept at the drop of a hat.

Not arguing one bit. The high fees do not go to the teachers and aides who do all of the work (and are the reason parents stay, or move on to another facility), but to the management, and to the fancy building which are use to bring in more money. These places (most, anyway) are in business to make a profit. Providing a service is secondary with a very few exceptions. And I know that the teachers/aides often love the children dearly. I was a director for Kindercare for a couple of years while I was getting my Masters. There were many hard lessons about doing what was right, or what was dictated down the ranks.

That being the case, we hired an individual with a child of her own, and paid very well for exceptional child care. She had no other duties in our home but to interact with the kids. She taught them french, and the piano basics, just because it was fun!

BTW, the people who justify biting are the parents of a biter. Because most children do not bite.

 

[disneyjunkie]

In NYC, day care teachers must have(or be working toward) the same certification as public school teachers. A fully certifited teacher in a day care center has a MA.

Teachers in day care centers are required to pass three NYS teacher's exams LAST, ATS-W, and one content speciltiy area exam.

Teacher assistants are now required to have a state certification. The only staff members not required to have any type of certification are our aides. (They work 4 hours a day)

 

[Ellen aka Snow White]

As a home child care provider, I have to add my 2 cents worth. I originally started in a DAY care center. It was my job to go in for the day, do my duties while understaffed or staffed with aides that were simply there to make money. I worked hard and even worked myself into ast director. While in that position I tried hard to let management see the needs of the children, but they were all number people - more children equals more income = more profit. I resigned from that position, when back to full time teaching while researching my options. My choice was to open my home CHILD care center. Now my job is to get up and have fun and teach children all day. I am in my 13 year and still love it. I do handle it in a professional way, as I have a contract that lays out all my policies and expectations. Most of the children I have kept full time over the years started at 6 weeks and stayed with me until 1st grade - yes I even picked them up after kindergarten. They become a part of my family. I am invited to their birthday parties as well as any other family events they may have.
Right now I have 5 under the age of 4 and we learn and have fun all day. I have a college degree in Early Childhood Development and attend trainings year round. The children I keep are more than prepared for Kindergarten both academically and socially - so much that our local elem. school teachers that are expecting call me first to see if I have a space.
Over the 13 years I have had to close for deaths in the family (in which the families of the children I kept attended the funeral) and once for sickness. As a mother I would rather be in the position to make my own arrangements then at a center where I will not know that the teacher will be absent and my child will then be put with whatever warm body the director can find on short notice.
As far as my children being put before the children I keep - we are so much like family - they are all like mine. I usually expected more from my own which made it harder on them. Also, my children had to sacrifice a lot. They had to share their toys, their house and their MOM! But now they are teenagers and they love having all the little ones here during the day.
Most states you do have to be registered or licensed to keep children therefore you can check with you local social services to see if any reports have been made on a provider or center.
Final note - I do not suggest anyone put their child in a home enviroment with a complete stranger. I only accept children that I know the family of - this is to protect myself and my family.
Bottom line is you have to choose what is best for your family.
sorry - my 2 cents worth went long.

 

[Minnesota!]

I pay $200 week per child for relatively cheap "schoolagers" in Minnesota. All you in cheap daycare states should consider yourselves lucky.

I do have them in a "corporate" center - home daycare or a "small business/church" center would be cheaper. But I like the corporate center because I really haven't had to worry about them taking vacations, etc., and I don't want a church center since we practice a less common religion and I don't need my kids getting more confused than they are.

I was thinking the same thing reading this - holy cow these people get childcare for CHEAP!!

My son (2 last week) goes to a center that is in my workplace. After the 10% discount we get, I pay $214/week. Without the discount, it would be $238 a week. Which is what I was paying (again, after my discount) when he was an infant. OUCH OUCH OUCH!!!

But, I pay it because it is worth it. He has constant interaction, the teachers will always be there, well structured, etc. My SIL was watching him when he was very young for $50/week, but it was not even worth it..