Author's note: The exciting conclusion of Universal: We Ain't Disney, below. And then some stuff that happened afterwards.
Me: 33, fifth WDW trip
DH Dan: 36, first-timer
We consult our map. Well Dan, looks like its just Lucy, A Tribute left before we head out to Islands of Adventure. What do you mean you have no intention of seeing that? I can't believe we spent all this money on Universal tickets and you want to skip this attraction.
We were later glad that we purchased the package of both parks (full price), because Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man alone was worth the price of admission.
I watched a segment about Spider-Man on the Travel Channel some months back, and frankly it did not look too impressive on TV. But they gave it high ratings, so I was interested in at least trying it out. We step in line and see a rack of glasses. Okay, another attraction that needs 3D glasses, so wheres the theatre? Hold the phone, this is a moving ride thats different. Holy cow, is this different! Were traveling around town pretty fast in this big spider vehicle thing. How much distance are we actually covering? Oh Wendy, stop trying to analyze the logistics of the ride and just enjoy it. Hey, were falling pretty fast here! Dan, hold me! Maybe that big net will catch us!
The ride ends. Dan and I look at each other. Again, he says, but frankly doesnt need to. This is one bad ride. And by bad I mean good. Or super good. Or like the best thing ever, next to Mission:Space. So we hop back in line and enjoy it all over again. When we leave the building, we cant stop gibbering on about it. Wow. What a rush. Universal has a real winner here.
Jurassic Park River Adventure is Jaws without the shark. Its Jungle Cruise with a drop. Its Splash Mountain without the music. Frankly, this ride is quite lame. Yes, the T-rex near the drop is very scary. Yes, the big drop is well, big. But theres a whole lot of nothing to see before the fun stuff at the end. Whats up with all of these lame Spielberg attractions?
The Flying Unicorn is next. Did I mention that Dan is not afraid of CHILDRENS roller coasters? The seats are built for two two children, that is. Between the two of us, we take up four seats because we are adults. Ooh, the ride is starting hold on. No, wait. I guess holding is an option because this is a childrens roller coaster. In front of me Dan has his hands in the air and saying things like weee! and this is so much fun! throughout our Flying Unicorn experience. So it is not much of a surprise that after we disembark he grabs my hand and drags me back in line, all giddy. Me and Dan, the only two adults going on this thing without children. Twice, no less.
After the second time I am giving him so much crap about it, he goes back in line a third time without me.
I need to calm my stomach after Flying Unicorn. Hey look, its the Dueling Dragons. Not surprisingly, Dan stays behind and lets me enter the attraction alone.
Let me tell you about this attraction. Picture walking through a cavernous path for like, a mile and a half. Maybe two. No one else is in sight because the twisty little zigzag concrete path is narrow and winding so that you can only see about 5 feet ahead of you. So not only do you wonder if you are the only one in line, you also wonder if there is no end to this path. Each several feet you think youre nearing the end, but no. Another corner and you have more snaky line to cover. Oh this has to be it, I hear other voices. What a wonderful sound other people! Are they crying for help because this is a trap, or are they screaming with Dueling Dragon joy? Will I ever find out? Will I see them around this next corner? No, its just snaking us around again. Holy crap, will this freaking line never end? Will I die of thirst or exhaustion or boredom before experiencing the wrath that is the Dueling Dragons?
When people and the coaster finally come into view, I have to choke back tears. Im here! The ride does exist! This better not suck. Now I have to make a decision fire? Ice? Fire? Ice? FIRE? ICE???? No pressure Wendy, but CHOOSE QUICKLY! Actually I dont even remember what I chose. I think I just headed toward the shortest line so that I could get to Dan before he called out a search party for me.
I thought the line was more memorable than the actual ride. Not that the coaster had nothing fun to offer, its just that the path to get there left a bigger impression on me than the ride itself did. I think at one point we almost foot-kicked the other team (fire? Ice?), but I cant be certain.
Here comes the second coolest thing about IOA: Suess Landing. Even if you are no Seuss fan, you have to appreciate the subtle and not-so-subtle details that make up this land. Just walking around the square was like stepping into a Seuss book. Most of the attractions here did not interest me as a rider, but visually they were quite dazzling. Very cool place.
The only attraction I want to do here is the Cat in the Hat, where you ride around on a couch and watch the story unfold as your couch meanders around the track. Good thing I got on this ride before seeing that horrible movie so my viewpoint wasnt tainted. During the ride, inexplicably, your couch spins horribly out of control a couple of times. Why? I dont know but maybe it is just to complement the whole maniacal and preposterous sense of the story. In any case, I was having so much fun with this ride I didnt want it to end.
Now its time for Hulk. Oh Dan actually considers going on with me for a whole second and a half before remembering how much he is terrified of stuff like this. No matter, Im used to riding coasters solo by now. So Im on the ride and going up the first hill, hearing that familiar click click click as the chain is pulling us up. Suddenly without warning, the hydraulics (pneumatics?) kick in the middle of the hill and send us screaming to the top and zooming down the first hill. What the? That was unexpected. And fun! Ooh, Im digging this coaster! Wow this puppy is fast. Oh Dan you have no idea what youre missing. Hope youre enjoying the cement.
Tee hee.
We hit Spider-Man one more time before calling it quits with Universal. I am glad to have experienced these two parks, especially a few of their awesome attractions, however I leave with the Its-Just-Not-Disney feeling. No major objections, just no warm fuzzies. I found that some attractions werent manned well enough; oftentimes we would walk up to the turnstiles and not be directed where to go; sometimes minor anarchy ensued, sometimes it didnt. And of course it didnt have the Disney magic. Seuss Landing came close, but could never deliver what Disney does in all of its theme parks. I leave the gates a little disappointed, but very happy to be returning to the Magic. Dan and I grab the next available Mears cab back to the Contemporary and walk downstairs to the Concourse Steakhouse for dinner.
As soon as we sat down, I noticed him at the table behind us. Dan! Dont look now. When you turn around, tell me if that isnt who I think it is.
Dan nonchalantly dropped his napkin on the floor and turned his head as he was picking it up. Thats him alright, he said when he got back up. Its weird that he would hide out at Disney World, but there he is.
Our family is never going to believe we had dinner with Suddam Hussein, I said. good thing we brought the camera. I pretended to take a few pictures of Dan so that I could casually get some
Suddam shots.
We knew our waiter Robert was special right away. He was extremely attentive and personable, made wonderful suggestions, and even smuggled two free glow ice cubes when I inquired about them. Not that cast members like these are hard to find, but he was yet another shining gem for us to find in our little adventure in the World. Anyway, Dan and I are very impressed with him and when its time for Dan to fill out the credit card slip, he writes a zero in the tip portion and in a mocking tone says, Robert, you sucked. His thinking was that he would personally hand Robert a cash tip instead of deducting it from the credit card. Unfortunately, Robert was standing behind him when he said that.
Robert walked back to the kitchen without taking our bill and I whispered, He was standing right there when you said that. Dan, not overly concerned, said that when Robert returned, he would then present the tip and tell him what a fantastic job he did. So we waited. And waited. And waited. Robert was not returning. Now Dan was beginning to appear concerned. So you think he really heard me?
Dan, he was standing right behind you.
But he had to know I was kidding.
Apparently not.
After several more minutes, both of us began to sweat a little. Where the heck was he? Dan, feeling responsible for Roberts disappearance, decided that we better go look for him ourselves. We walked to the kitchen area and inquired to the manager about his whereabouts. The manager asked if there was a problem, and Dan assured him that Robert was an exceptional waiter and that he personally wanted to thank him. The manager left to go find him. Dan said to me, You realize that hes crying his eyes out right now in the bathroom, wondering what he did wrong.
A few minutes later the manager returned. We have no idea where he went, he told us. Dan, now feeling guilty as ever, reiterated to the manager how impressed we were with Robert, and asked if he could please give him the tip from us. The manager readily agreed and we left the restaurant, wondering how else we could possibly remedy the situation.
Well, after all of that you would think we would call it a night. Heck no, this is Disney World, and in Disney World, its no place for the weary! So I grabbed Pal Mickey (out of guilt, mostly), and led Dan back to Epcot, through the International Gateway, onto the Boardwalk, and into Jellyrolls, another first for both of us. I loved the dueling pianos and the interaction with the audience. Dan loved the price of our beer. The evening entertainment was very enjoyable, but after an hour or so I was feeling the affect of the day and the beer creeping up on me, and asked Dan if we could finally pack it up and call it a day.
Next time...Day 8...just 2 days left...will Dan ever get his big butt to Blizzard Beach? Will I ever have to endure another cheese pizza? Will we kill each other before the trip ends? STAY TUNED.
Me: 33, fifth WDW trip
DH Dan: 36, first-timer
We consult our map. Well Dan, looks like its just Lucy, A Tribute left before we head out to Islands of Adventure. What do you mean you have no intention of seeing that? I can't believe we spent all this money on Universal tickets and you want to skip this attraction.
We were later glad that we purchased the package of both parks (full price), because Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man alone was worth the price of admission.
I watched a segment about Spider-Man on the Travel Channel some months back, and frankly it did not look too impressive on TV. But they gave it high ratings, so I was interested in at least trying it out. We step in line and see a rack of glasses. Okay, another attraction that needs 3D glasses, so wheres the theatre? Hold the phone, this is a moving ride thats different. Holy cow, is this different! Were traveling around town pretty fast in this big spider vehicle thing. How much distance are we actually covering? Oh Wendy, stop trying to analyze the logistics of the ride and just enjoy it. Hey, were falling pretty fast here! Dan, hold me! Maybe that big net will catch us!
The ride ends. Dan and I look at each other. Again, he says, but frankly doesnt need to. This is one bad ride. And by bad I mean good. Or super good. Or like the best thing ever, next to Mission:Space. So we hop back in line and enjoy it all over again. When we leave the building, we cant stop gibbering on about it. Wow. What a rush. Universal has a real winner here.
Jurassic Park River Adventure is Jaws without the shark. Its Jungle Cruise with a drop. Its Splash Mountain without the music. Frankly, this ride is quite lame. Yes, the T-rex near the drop is very scary. Yes, the big drop is well, big. But theres a whole lot of nothing to see before the fun stuff at the end. Whats up with all of these lame Spielberg attractions?
The Flying Unicorn is next. Did I mention that Dan is not afraid of CHILDRENS roller coasters? The seats are built for two two children, that is. Between the two of us, we take up four seats because we are adults. Ooh, the ride is starting hold on. No, wait. I guess holding is an option because this is a childrens roller coaster. In front of me Dan has his hands in the air and saying things like weee! and this is so much fun! throughout our Flying Unicorn experience. So it is not much of a surprise that after we disembark he grabs my hand and drags me back in line, all giddy. Me and Dan, the only two adults going on this thing without children. Twice, no less.
After the second time I am giving him so much crap about it, he goes back in line a third time without me.I need to calm my stomach after Flying Unicorn. Hey look, its the Dueling Dragons. Not surprisingly, Dan stays behind and lets me enter the attraction alone.
Let me tell you about this attraction. Picture walking through a cavernous path for like, a mile and a half. Maybe two. No one else is in sight because the twisty little zigzag concrete path is narrow and winding so that you can only see about 5 feet ahead of you. So not only do you wonder if you are the only one in line, you also wonder if there is no end to this path. Each several feet you think youre nearing the end, but no. Another corner and you have more snaky line to cover. Oh this has to be it, I hear other voices. What a wonderful sound other people! Are they crying for help because this is a trap, or are they screaming with Dueling Dragon joy? Will I ever find out? Will I see them around this next corner? No, its just snaking us around again. Holy crap, will this freaking line never end? Will I die of thirst or exhaustion or boredom before experiencing the wrath that is the Dueling Dragons?
When people and the coaster finally come into view, I have to choke back tears. Im here! The ride does exist! This better not suck. Now I have to make a decision fire? Ice? Fire? Ice? FIRE? ICE???? No pressure Wendy, but CHOOSE QUICKLY! Actually I dont even remember what I chose. I think I just headed toward the shortest line so that I could get to Dan before he called out a search party for me.
I thought the line was more memorable than the actual ride. Not that the coaster had nothing fun to offer, its just that the path to get there left a bigger impression on me than the ride itself did. I think at one point we almost foot-kicked the other team (fire? Ice?), but I cant be certain.
Here comes the second coolest thing about IOA: Suess Landing. Even if you are no Seuss fan, you have to appreciate the subtle and not-so-subtle details that make up this land. Just walking around the square was like stepping into a Seuss book. Most of the attractions here did not interest me as a rider, but visually they were quite dazzling. Very cool place.
The only attraction I want to do here is the Cat in the Hat, where you ride around on a couch and watch the story unfold as your couch meanders around the track. Good thing I got on this ride before seeing that horrible movie so my viewpoint wasnt tainted. During the ride, inexplicably, your couch spins horribly out of control a couple of times. Why? I dont know but maybe it is just to complement the whole maniacal and preposterous sense of the story. In any case, I was having so much fun with this ride I didnt want it to end.
Now its time for Hulk. Oh Dan actually considers going on with me for a whole second and a half before remembering how much he is terrified of stuff like this. No matter, Im used to riding coasters solo by now. So Im on the ride and going up the first hill, hearing that familiar click click click as the chain is pulling us up. Suddenly without warning, the hydraulics (pneumatics?) kick in the middle of the hill and send us screaming to the top and zooming down the first hill. What the? That was unexpected. And fun! Ooh, Im digging this coaster! Wow this puppy is fast. Oh Dan you have no idea what youre missing. Hope youre enjoying the cement.
Tee hee.We hit Spider-Man one more time before calling it quits with Universal. I am glad to have experienced these two parks, especially a few of their awesome attractions, however I leave with the Its-Just-Not-Disney feeling. No major objections, just no warm fuzzies. I found that some attractions werent manned well enough; oftentimes we would walk up to the turnstiles and not be directed where to go; sometimes minor anarchy ensued, sometimes it didnt. And of course it didnt have the Disney magic. Seuss Landing came close, but could never deliver what Disney does in all of its theme parks. I leave the gates a little disappointed, but very happy to be returning to the Magic. Dan and I grab the next available Mears cab back to the Contemporary and walk downstairs to the Concourse Steakhouse for dinner.
As soon as we sat down, I noticed him at the table behind us. Dan! Dont look now. When you turn around, tell me if that isnt who I think it is.
Dan nonchalantly dropped his napkin on the floor and turned his head as he was picking it up. Thats him alright, he said when he got back up. Its weird that he would hide out at Disney World, but there he is.
Our family is never going to believe we had dinner with Suddam Hussein, I said. good thing we brought the camera. I pretended to take a few pictures of Dan so that I could casually get some
Suddam shots.
We knew our waiter Robert was special right away. He was extremely attentive and personable, made wonderful suggestions, and even smuggled two free glow ice cubes when I inquired about them. Not that cast members like these are hard to find, but he was yet another shining gem for us to find in our little adventure in the World. Anyway, Dan and I are very impressed with him and when its time for Dan to fill out the credit card slip, he writes a zero in the tip portion and in a mocking tone says, Robert, you sucked. His thinking was that he would personally hand Robert a cash tip instead of deducting it from the credit card. Unfortunately, Robert was standing behind him when he said that.
Robert walked back to the kitchen without taking our bill and I whispered, He was standing right there when you said that. Dan, not overly concerned, said that when Robert returned, he would then present the tip and tell him what a fantastic job he did. So we waited. And waited. And waited. Robert was not returning. Now Dan was beginning to appear concerned. So you think he really heard me?
Dan, he was standing right behind you.
But he had to know I was kidding.
Apparently not.
After several more minutes, both of us began to sweat a little. Where the heck was he? Dan, feeling responsible for Roberts disappearance, decided that we better go look for him ourselves. We walked to the kitchen area and inquired to the manager about his whereabouts. The manager asked if there was a problem, and Dan assured him that Robert was an exceptional waiter and that he personally wanted to thank him. The manager left to go find him. Dan said to me, You realize that hes crying his eyes out right now in the bathroom, wondering what he did wrong.
A few minutes later the manager returned. We have no idea where he went, he told us. Dan, now feeling guilty as ever, reiterated to the manager how impressed we were with Robert, and asked if he could please give him the tip from us. The manager readily agreed and we left the restaurant, wondering how else we could possibly remedy the situation.
Well, after all of that you would think we would call it a night. Heck no, this is Disney World, and in Disney World, its no place for the weary! So I grabbed Pal Mickey (out of guilt, mostly), and led Dan back to Epcot, through the International Gateway, onto the Boardwalk, and into Jellyrolls, another first for both of us. I loved the dueling pianos and the interaction with the audience. Dan loved the price of our beer. The evening entertainment was very enjoyable, but after an hour or so I was feeling the affect of the day and the beer creeping up on me, and asked Dan if we could finally pack it up and call it a day.
Next time...Day 8...just 2 days left...will Dan ever get his big butt to Blizzard Beach? Will I ever have to endure another cheese pizza? Will we kill each other before the trip ends? STAY TUNED.
With such a care-free, laugh-a-minute, Disney-loving, easy going travel buddy as that, I'm sure you will have plenty of hilarious anecdotes to share! 
Poor Robert....
And just make them last a bit longer too, like stretch each day into 4 parts! Yeah, that's the ticket! 
